Chapter 13: What's Enough?

A/N: Someone wrote and said I got Lily and James together too quickly. I just wanted to comment that I had three individual people say different things. One said, "You got them together too quickly!" another, "It's about time you got them together!" and lastly, "Perfect timing!" Since everyone has a different opinion it's hard to change mine. So tell me in a review, too quick? Too slow? Perfect? Just keep in mind they got together at Christmas, when they started being friends in September. Anyway, here's more.

Disclaimer: I own nothing... but I'm counting down until June 4th!

Chapter 13: What's Enough?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------

I was always told that there's no point in throwing away something you can't let go of. That there was no way to give up on something, if you were going to continuously think about it; obsess over it. I was always told that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. These past two weeks (including my 18th birthday with Amelia, Dorcas and Edgar) have only made me stronger; they've only made me want to be around James more.

I've always known that one comment, minor or major, that one event, minor or major, could completely change your view on someone. I've always been against it. My relationship with James Potter has always been a love/hate relationship... I couldn't stand him showing off; asking me out just to do it. Now, I believe 100% with ALL of my heart that he has changed; that I can love him, and that I shouldn't be afraid to.

I know he loves me too. These past weeks, James and I have barely spoken... barely been around each other, but he still loves me. We were sitting in D.A.D.A. talking about our written assignments that were due in three days, when I saw I girl walk towards James. Fortunately, I had to walk over there to work with Amelia, and I heard what they had said.

(Flash Back)

"Hello James."

He looked up skeptically, nodded, and gave a small smile. "Hey."

"People have been wondering what happened with you and Lily." Hasn't everyone? I thought bitterly.

"Nothing," he said, going back to his essay.

"I'm sorry, James," apologize the brunette. "Did you two break up?"

"No."

"Then why are you two spending less time with each other? You were barely away from her—"

"We're on a little break," said James quickly.

"Looking for another girlfriend?" asked the girl, batting her eye lashes.

"No," said James rudely. "Go find someone else to hit on, I have a girlfriend."

The brunette huffed away, and James ran a hand through his hair. He turned to Sirius who had a grim expression on his face.

"Do you reckon I should tell the whole school at dinner, or just hover a sign over me, 'Taken! So don't ask!'?"

Sirius exchanged a smirk with him. "Are you going to talk to Lily?"

"I've got to think of what to say."

"You never had to before—"

"I know," interrupted James. "Our relationship is changing so much... I have to change with it."

(End Flash Back)

Change; do I have to change? How does he want me to change? I don't really know what I should do. I reckon I should just talk to him. Today would be a good time because I am sitting in the common room. I see James walk through the portrait hole and I wonder if he'll talk to me. These past two days have been hell... I guess I should talk to him first. For once I'll take initiative... for once I'll go up to him and make the first move.

He's laughing with Sirius over a joke, when I walk up to him and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around and looks at me.

"Can we talk?" I asked quietly.

"Sure," he said, pulling his arm around my waist as we walk out of the portrait hole. Silently we walk through the halls and to the Head's dormitory; the only private place we can talk in.

"I hate us being like this," I said sitting down on the couch with James.

"We're changing," he said softly.

"I know... I know, but that doesn't mean I like it."

He looked at me frowning, "I've missed you."

"And I've missed you," I said, as he pulled me into a hug.

"I don't want to pressure you into things, Lil."

"I know—"

"We can do it once you're ready."

"It's just so... it intimidates me so much."

"What intimidates you?" he asked, looking into my eyes. I felt my cheeks redden.

"That you've come to expect things like this."

"Lily—"

"I mean," I said slowly. "That you know a lot more... you've done a lot more.... I have a lot to live up to."

"What I've done with other girls doesn't matter—"

"Yes it does," I interrupted. "It means everything..."

"To who?"

"To both of us!"

"Not to me," he said solemnly.

"You know it does!"

"I swear," he said looking into my eyes. He always did that; it's like he knows that his eyes will make me see the truth... his eyes will make me understand and believe... And they do.

"I wish it wasn't that way," I said, ignoring what his eyes were saying.

"I love you for you... not what I want and think you can do."

"It'll change everything—"

"I'm not going to leave you," he promised.

"I know that..." I sighed deeply, and leaned back on the couch. "I wish we could just be little kids again..."

"Little kids don't know love..."

"I think little kids can't spot love the quickest," I said, looking at James.

He leaned back onto the couch and looked at me, "How do you figure?"

"Well, little kids are brought up with love. They always have their mum or dad telling them they love them, and taking care of them—"

"You'll be a great mother you know," he said running his hand through my hair.

"And you'll be a great father," I grinned at him. "Once you've shaped up a bit."

"That's why I'm with you," he said. "Because you make me a better person."

"I don't make you a better person... I bring out the better person inside you," I said smiling, and placed my hand over his heart. "You've always had that better person in here."

"You think so?" he asked, taking my hand off his chest, and holding it in his own hand.

"I know so," I confirmed.

"You're brilliant."

"So are you."

He leaned over and kissed me softly, and we broke apart and just sat there for a moment; in peace and quiet.

"I want to put these past couple weeks behind us," I whispered.

"Me too... but we can't."

I nodded slightly, "We'll work through them."

"You have all the time to decide if you want to or not."

"You know I'll want to. But this is something important to me James. Once we do it... we can't change it."

He nodded, "Makes it sound so final."

"It is."

"I love you."

"You're being very random today," I said leaning over and giving him a light kiss on the lips. "Love you, too."

I closed my eyes, and felt James pull his arms around me; I moved closer to him.

"Promise me you'll always love me," I whispered.

"I'll always love you."

"I'll always love you."

I opened an eye, and we shared a smile. For the rest of the day I sat in the arms I was longing to be in. The ones I found remarkably strong, and perfectly protected in. The arms I wanted to be in for the rest of my life. But if that wasn't enough to decide what James and I did physically... what was?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------

A/N: There's a chapter for you. I'm going to go back to other chapters and correct spelling errors. Please read and review, and tell me if I got them together too soon, too slowly, or good timing.

Also, I have the ending to this written, but it's written in third person. Let me know what you think, 'cause it really can't be in first person. If you think it should be... I'll write a new one, and use the other one, for a different fic. It's up to you... I'll use to either way.

MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus