Chapter 2

I want him. I need him!

I remember being young. I was only five when my father was killed and six when I watched my mother succumb to her grief but still I had nightmares regularly.

Until I was ten my uncle or brother would come in and comfort me. However after that I was left alone with my grief, that is until Grima came to me.

He was kind and sensitive to my needs. He never pushed me or said cruel things about me being too old to have some one comforting me like Eomer did. Grima would stay there.

He was like a night in shining armor.

But now he was no longer here. I felt that my heart was breaking and though I had never once had romantic dealing with him, he was always there for me and now.

But now, I did image we had romantic dealings. I tried to shut my eyes and feel him, all over me, covering me with his kisses. I had only ever done that once before and that is how I came to hate him, and my feelings for him.

I repressed them, no matter how strong they were.

My head aches.

I can hear them coming for us, the orcs. I can also hear children crying f or there fathers.

I dreamt, wished I was one of them. They could cry. They could be upset, it was expected and understandable of a child. But not a shield maiden. Not me, I could not cry.

I had to be strong.

As I sit here with my arm round one of the elder scared women, I thought of grima, simply because there was little else I could do.

I remember all the time we had shared. The happy times.

I had been young and wanted to learn how to handle a sword.

Eomer, my brother promised he would teach me. But he always out on long rides or fighting the orocs.

So I had gone to Grima.

He did not push me away or go riding with out me, nor did he forget. He taught me everything I know. He was scared of pain and of death, but if he was armed with his sword, I think he could have saved himself.

So many what if are running through my head.

What if I had never let him go? That's the main one.

a/n: sorry for all the angst.

bressa: I think this chapter is a bit longer but not much. I don't know why but I am finding it hard to write longer chapters for this story. I know that in the book s and films that eowyn would never dream of Grima but this is a kind of AU (sorry I forgot to put it in the summary before!) were she does. I've read a few grima/eowyn's before, they are really good! Thanks for reviewing!

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