Chapter 31: Life's Too Short; Anniversary

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. I had a really great birthday and I appreciate all your comments and compliments. But in NO WAY shape or form do I match J.K. Rowling and her magnificent work. I'm really ecstatic about a lot of things going on. I just have a few comment/questions:

Who plays guitar, what kind do you have, and which type is the easiest to play (bass, acoustic etc...)? I want to learn to play, so thanks for any advice I can get!!!

Does anyone that reads my story live in the U.K.? Or know somebody for that matter? I'd really appreciate it if you'd contact me; leave your email or AIM in a review or something. I'm writing a story/novel on my own that has nothing to do with Harry Potter and I need information on classes you take at school, what kind of things you learn, the time you go, how old you've got to be to work... etc. I'd appreciate this EVEN more than the guitar information. Please let me know if you have any information and more!! I'd prefer anyone between fourteen and sixteen! The characters are fifteen-ish so I'd like someone around that age, or older even. I don't mind if it's someone younger that knows about the way schools are run; that's fine I just need feedback!!

And don't worry about the boyfriend thing.... It'll all blow over, and I'm happy being single. I thank you for your concern, nonetheless.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Life's Too Short; Anniversary

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------

"Lil... let me explain!" James begged quickly.

I sat down on the arm rest of the couch, crossing my arms. "What's there to explain, James? Why you told Sirius to get off your girlfriend, when Sirius was nowhere near me?!"

"I was caught up in the moment," he insisted.

I rolled my eyes then scratched my forehead. "Whatever... just... never mind—"

"I haven't touched Marlene since we were together!" he insisted loudly.

I stared. "And that justifies it, does it?"

"No. I'm just telling you that I haven't touched a single girl but you since we started dating at Christmas—"

"Then why did you call her your girlfriend?"

"Because I've been thinking of the past a lot," he said moving closer to me as he spoke. "I've been thinking about what happened before fourth year—about my dad and what happened—about my mum and everything."

"I can understand that," I said nodding. Suddenly, I didn't feel like pestering it any longer. Maybe it was the tears in James' eyes that sopped me. Or perhaps it was the fact that his arms wrapped around me in a needing way. Or maybe it was the fact that life was too short....

"Lily... I'm sorry—"

"Forget it," I said in return.

He pulled me into a hug and I hugged back tightly.

"Sorry... sorry everyone," said Marlene quickly before running out of the portrait hole.

I rubbed my temples, feeling more stressful than I had ever been; and after months of dating James Potter that's saying something. "I'm sorry, Lil."

I shook my head. "This has nothing to do with what just happened. I just... I don't understand how you all can be so heartless."

Sirius and the guys brought their attention over towards me and all my friends were staring at me transfixed. For once lowly little Lily Evans had spoken out of character.

"You're blowing this way out of proportion," I said loudly. "Some of you only want to do this because your friends are; some will only do it if another does it; some are only willing so that their relationship will work. It's sickening! I'm not doing this as vengeance and neither should any of you. I'm not doing this to save my relationship and neither should any of you.

"It was embarrassing. I was embarrassed because of what happened in Dumbledore's office! You all acted so immature I wouldn't be surprised if he had changed his mind. Does he really want all of you working if you're only going to fight with each other? This is a losing battle in itself we don't need to fight each other!

"We're at a time in our life where everything happens for a reason and if I don't end up with James than I know it's not my fault. I'm in love with him, don't get me wrong. But there are bigger things to worry about. There are other obstacles that need to be fought. My family is in danger, my family could be attacked. I've got this little voice in the back of my head telling me when it's going to happen. It's telling me that the letter bringing the news of their death with come soon. And you're all over here yelling because Sirius is in love with Dorcas and Amelia wants to join in to help us fight!

"You should be grateful and happy that you're here with each other able to live another day! You're acting as though it's just a job. Well it's not!" Tears were falling down my face and I was using my hands as I talked. "This is about life or death. Not about bringing the paycheck home. This is about so much more than love and hate. This is real human lives. We're leaving school in about a month; do you think we're protected out in the real world? Hell, we're at Hogwarts and we're still in danger because there are enemies in our classrooms and people who are fighting for the other side!

"I can't stop you from bickering but I can tell you how I feel. I feel scared for the safety of everyone I love. I'm letting everything go by; because life is too short. Life could end tomorrow and I don't want any regrets. I don't want to feel as though I left someone behind. I love you all, you know that. I just don't always agree with your actions. Bicker if you must..."

When my rant was over I wiped the tears off my face and walked towards the portrait hole. I ran and ran until I reached the Head's room. Once I had reached it I noticed that outside it was raining; raining really hard. I wanted to dance outside of the rain. But as the tear feel from my eyes I realized that it didn't matter if it was raining or snowing.

Life is too short. I know that. I know a lot of things even being eighteen which is fairly young. I knew I wanted to fight and I knew I wanted to win. I knew I wanted to spend my life with James and forget every bad thing that ever happens. Just as long as I was all right and my friends were all right. James...

He was walking through the portrait hole now; he spotted me and started walking over. When he reached me I pulled him towards me kissing him hard on the lips and pushing him onto the couch; me on top of him. He looked up at me, breaking away.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing... I was just.... Having the after effects," I replied kissing him again.

After about five minutes of snogging our shirts were on the ground and I was moving towards his pants when he pulled away.

"What?" he started as I yelled. "WHAT?!"

"Nothing... we shouldn't—not tonight," he said reaching for his shirt. I cut off his reach pulling him closer in a manner that in all honesty, I had tried to arouse him with.

"Excuse me?"

He looked from my body up to my face. "You're upset because of the Order," he replied loftily.

I stared at him, leaning down to kiss him harder; not caring that he wasn't kissing back. I pressed my hand to his face, continually pulling him towards me, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Come up stairs," I whispered as I kissed him.

"No, not tonight, Lily."

I stared at him. "Fine, we'll stay here," I said reaching out to unbuckle his pants. But it was his turn to cut me off by grabbing my hand.

"Stop," he said, sitting up with me on his lap. "I said not tonight."

I leaned up to kiss him, running my hands over his bare chest. "What? I didn't quite hear you."

"You heard me just fine Lily," he said picking me up from the waist and setting me off of him. "Not tonight."

"Why the hell not!?'

"Because," he said heaving his shirt over around his shoulders, trying to button it. "You'll wake up tomorrow by my side and regret shagging with me."

"Did I regret it last time?" I asked, taking my shirt from him and throwing it across the room.

"Well no—"He went to go get the shirt.

"Why can't we just do it? We've fought over doing it the last three times either of us had wanted to..."

"It's never mutual," he replied. "When I need to shag you don't want to and vice versus.'

"You never not want to," I replied walking towards him. "You always want to shag, so why is now any different?"

"I said no, Lil," he said bluntly.

I looked up at him then pulled him into a kiss letting my hands roam. He quickly pulled away.

"Lil... that won't work," he said pulling my hands away from his body. "You're not getting me to—"

My skirt fell to the floor and that was enough to make James go crazy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up the next morning to find James gone. Great, just great, I thought. He shags than leaves; figures. But then I here the shower running and I walk over to the bathroom to find him inside. Grinning mischievously to myself I open the door and climb into the shower with him. I entwined my arms around his stomach and he turns around to see me.

"What are you doing here?"

"Are you mad?" I asked quietly. "I was under the impression—after what happened last night—that you were as guilty as I was in that premarital sex—"

"Don't remind me," he muttered continuing to shower. I rolled my eyes and turned him towards me.

"Are you going to Hogsmeade with anyone special today?" I asked quietly. We both knew it was our five month anniversary. That, at least, gave another accuse towards the happenings of last night.

"I'm mad at you, Lil. But it's not going to ruin our special day."

"Why are you so mad?" I smiled.

He turned the tap off and we climbed out of the shower. "Because you used me last night."

"Oh, don't even go there. If I used you last night than you used me after the news of your father came," I replied drying off.

He looked away. "But I stopped myself then, and you didn't stop yourself last night—"

I laughed, "To be far, you couldn't stop yourself last night—"

"Your skirt didn't unbutton itself!" he replied loudly.

"You weren't complaining then."

"I was caught up in the moment then," he said loudly. "It won't happy again."

I rolled my eyes. "Until you're randy!"

He lifted up his hand, ready to counter as he pointed towards me. But he didn't speak. He just shook his head before entering his own room. I frowned walking into mine. Today wasn't supposed to be anything like this. We were supposed to be happy and be in love. We weren't supposed to be yelling over mistakes.

----------------------------------------------------

James was walking with his friends and I with mine. Though in one group we were, James and I kept apart. However, when we got there James came over towards me and we walked off on our own; hands entwined, might I add. Part of me thought what happened last night was wrong; but another part, the stubborn one, wasn't ready to admit defeat. As James pulled me along the streets the stubborn part was defeated by its counter part.

"I'm sorry about last night."

"Are you?" he asked looking over his shoulder.

"You know I'll never regret giving myself to you," I replied earnestly. "But I'm sorry for pushing you into it. I was going to use the excuse that it was our anniversary—"

James stared. "And?"

"But I know that's not the truth. The truth is I love you and I need you and I want you."

"You know it's the same for me, Lil. I respect you. And when I've gone to far, if you let me know, I'll stop. I can't say the same for you—"

"I respect you, love. You know I do," I cupped his face as we embraced.

"And last night?"

"I don't know what to say," I said truthfully. "I won't search for an answer."

"Lil. I said no last night."

"And you regret it?" I asked softly, searching his eyes for some kind of clue.

"Like you, I don't ever regret being like that with you. But last night..."

He didn't bother to finish his sentence and it wasn't as though I needed him too. He didn't want last night to happen. He didn't want me to press myself on top of him, like I had done last night. He didn't want me to kiss him plentifully. He wanted nothing more than to ask if I was all right and go back towards Sirius. I saw it. I knew. I knew that he would rather be with his best friend at this point in our relationship. He had been side- tracked with me. I knew...

I nodded. "You regret it—"

"Lily..."

I ran my hand over his face. "I can see it in your eyes. Go, then. Go if you want."

"Lily..."

"No, don't bother. If you don't want to be around me now than go find Sirius. Go back to the way things were before we got together—"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"I'd thought you had already broken us up," I replied lazily.

"No, I would never break up with you because of one night."

"You need your space—"

"Lily—"

"James, I see it in your eyes," I insisted. "I see you'd rather be some place, with someone else. I know you'd rather be away from the drama I cause. And believe me. I feel the same."

"What do you mean, you feel the same?" he asked questioningly.

"I think that we should have some time to sort this out. But not now. We should get away from the drama."

"This doesn't solve the problem. Nor can I understand all you mean to say."

I stared. "It's quite easy to—"

"No, Lil. No. Last night you were practically throwing yourself at me. Now... now you're saying we need a break. Have you got complete control over this relationship?"

"No," I said weakly. "But are you saying that you should have complete control?"

"Maybe."

I wanted to say it was a lie. To say that his eyes were deceiving me. But it was true. He wanted control. He wanted everything to be in his control. He wanted to control me!

"You want to control me!"

"The man is known for controlling everything! I ask you out. I meet your parents. I ask for your father's approval. I ask you to marry me. I get us a house. I get you pregnant."

I laughed. "You're not serious! You can't be serious!"

"I make the plans. I pay the bills. I mark my territory. I control my domain. All males do it—"

I pushed his arms off of me. "Let me tell you one thing, Potter. You won't be able to do any of that with me if you don't straighten yourself out—"

"There you go! Controlling me again!"

"Me controlling you? Did you just hear the words that came out of your mouth? You ask me out—yeah, you definitely did that for three years non- stop—"

"You're my girlfriend aren't you?"

I stared. "That one was okay, but remember what you said? You get me pregnant?"

"Yeah, it's not like I—"

"It's not like you have a choice whether or not I get pregnant—"

"I have a choice of whether I want you to get pregnant or not!"

I rolled my eyes. "And what happens when you want more kids and I won't comply!"

"I'll make you," he said loftily.

I stared at him. "Is that a threat?"

"You know what, Lily? I don't want to talk about this anymore. The man controls the relationship. I decide where we go on dates; I decide what I want for dinner; I decide when we should have kids—"

"You're not having a child come out of this," I said loudly, pointing to my lower stomach. "I hope you enjoyed last night because that's all you're going to get for a while."

"I'll be fine with that! Just don't go throw yourself on somebody else!"

I stared up at him. "I ask only the same of you."

"Goodbye, Evans."

"Farewell, Potter."

---------------------------------------------------

A/N: Not in a very good situation are they? Ouch. So yes, I forgot this little tussle until about now. And good thing to! I had awful writers block. The WORST EVER on this story, in fact. So yes, the question, who controls the relationship. Wow... James had some pretty disagreeable things there. That was COMPLETELY fun to write, by the way. Not saying I agree with James. Much more the opposite. So yes.... Just a few notes to add:

UNKNOWN MARAUDERS: Revised slightly, reedited and reposted under angelbud2233's account: MatchMaking Drama Queens. We've only got two up, but there you go.

I'm SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY about J.K. telling us the title of the new Harry Potter book!!! It's really awesome!!

Lastly: My school reading assigned me to read Troy, which is what I read and finished over the last two days. RIDICULOUS BOOK! Everyone I wanted to die lived, and everyone I wanted to live died. I'm going to go see the movie, which will delay writing. Oh yeah, I'm going to see Spider Man 2 sometime because my dad gets free tickets; his company is a sponsor or something to that effect. Just giving you the scoop.

WATCH OUT: I will be posting a new fic (One-shot) I hope many of you will check out and like it. I won't tell you what it's about; that's half the fun! But it'll be called... DUN DUN DUN (J.K. Rowling effect) Forever My Best. Can you guess what it's about? I'll give you something if you can guess what it's about!! Lol good luck.

MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus