Hi everybody! This is my first Teen Titans fic ever, yay! I hope I didn't make them out of character though…
Yes, it is a BB & Rae fic. BB&RAE rock! I love BB, he's adorable!
I do NOT own Teen Titans…it's not mine. I wish it was, but unfortunately, it isn't. If someone decides to give it to me for my birthday (even though it already passed!), I'll let you know. Until then, IT'S NOT MINE!
Do you know that feeling you get when you care about someone so much that you can't stop thinking about them? You can't get them out of your head, you always want to be around them, and you'll do anything for them!
I do…and my friends think they do too. Robin says it's called love. Cy says it's what he feels for the T-Car. Starfire says it's "the glorious sentiment" she feels for all her friends and family. Rae…well, I didn't exactly ask Raven yet…even though it's her I'm most curious about.
It's Rae I feel that way about…so why can't I tell her?
It's getting harder and harder to control my powers. When I met the Titans, it became easier…but over the past few months, it's been getting worse…and worse…and worse. It's almost as bad as when I was a little girl…except I'm not trying to hold back fear and pain and sadness anymore. I'm holding back something else, something new, something I've never felt before…I don't know what it is, but it feels good…
Whatever it is though, it's all Beast Boy's fault. He's the one making me feel this strange emotion and it's his fault I have to meditate even more to keep my powers in check. It's all his fault.
It's thanks to him that I feel so warm inside…so why can't I tell him?
When you're in love with a girl who: can't show her emotions, is a ½ demon, has a nasty habit of yelling at you and is possibly the most anti-social person you've ever met…it's hard.
When you're in love with a guy who: cracks jokes at everything, doesn't take anything seriously, loves to pester you and always has some kind of entourage…it's hard.
Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if Terra were still around. Would I forget about Raven…or would she keep coming back to haunt me whenever I was with Terra? Whenever I kissed her, would I be wishing that it was Raven instead, or would I be so glad that it wasn't?
I often think about what would have happened if things had worked out with Malchior. Would I have ever felt this way about Beast Boy? If I did, would I just brush him off and run to Malchior with my undying affections, or would I take some time to think about how I really felt?
I know she thinks I'm just a goofball, that I get in the way, that I'm a pest, that I'm stupid. I know she doesn't care about me…and if she does, it's only because I get on her nerves. She thinks I'm just a stupid loser who's begging for attention, just another class clown, a practical joker. She only tolerates me because Robin tells her to. If it weren't for the others, she'd have killed me already. I'm a pinhead…she's only told me a million times.
I know he thinks I'm an anti-social bitch. That I hate the world, that I hate him and that I wish I could destroy everything so I could meditate in peace. He thinks that I'm a horrible person who should be put to sleep because I'm so mean. I'm boring and a spoil sport. I never want to do anything fun. I'm a pain and I'm only on the team because of my powers…he only tolerates me because I'm good to play jokes on. Besides, I'm "creepy", remember?
I'm not like that though! I really am smart! I used to get good marks in school! I only play jokes because everyone expects me to. If I don't, nobody will. I'm a source of energy for everyone. If it weren't for me cracking jokes all the time, we'd all get serious and we wouldn't have fun anymore. If I didn't play pranks on people and pretend to be stupid, we'd forget how to have fun.
It's not what everyone thinks though! I'm not cold and heartless. I can't show my emotions! I would kill everyone if I did. There would be huge explosions and everything would get messed up. Even though I've tried explaining it to everyone hundreds of times, I don't think they get it…except maybe Starfire, because she tried being me once. Besides, even I could show what I feel, I might not. If it weren't for me, nobody would be serious about anything. They're all too light-hearted and happy. They don't think enough, they follow what they feel and it could get them into a lot of trouble. It would get them into a lot of trouble…if I wasn't around to be serious.
I think I'm going to get some fresh air…it's getting stuffy in my room…
I'm going outside…meditating outside feels better.
Raven walked outside of the Titans' home and stared out at the water…it was beautiful. She loved the water. It was incredible how one minute it could be so peaceful and the next, it could be wild and dangerous…something like Raven herself. She sighed. It was warm out. She took of her cape, folded it neatly and placed it on the floor.
She sat down on the floor, crossed her legs and murmured, "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos," over and over again as her body rose up a few feet so she was sitting on thin air.
A few minutes later, she heard someone run up to her from the Tower and yell "BOO-YA!" as they jumped into the water with a humongous splash. Little drops of water splashed against her pale, pale skin.
"Beast Boy," she said under her breath as she stopped levitating and looked at the green boy splashing around in the water and laughed. She heard the sound of a spark behind her and stopped. She sat down on the floor with her legs stretched out in front of her.
"Rae?" he stopped swimming and looked at her, "Are you ok?"
"Yes," she answered.
"Are you sure?" he asked, "I thought I heard you laugh…"
"No you didn't," she shook her head, lying, "You're hallucinating, Beast Boy…you've been eating too much tofu…it's getting to your brain…"
Beast Boy got out of the water, turned into a dog and shook all the excess water off…spraying most of it onto Raven. He turned back into his human form and realized what he had done.
Oh shit! He thought. She's gonna be mad! What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?
And then he heard her laughing…and some small sparks and explosions every so often.
"Raven, I think I'm hallucinating again, but I think you're laughing," he said, confused.
"No hallucinations," she shook her head and stopped laughing. She smiled at him.
"Hey, you should smile more often…your smiles are…nice," he smiled back.
"Oh really?" she asked.
"Yeah," he nodded and sat down next to her. There was silence for a few minutes until…
"Do you hate me, Rae?" Beast Boy asked abruptly.
"What?" she turned her head quickly to look at him with wide eyes.
He shook his head, "Never mind."
"Beast Boy…" she said, "You think I hate you?"
"No, of course not," he answered quickly.
"I don't hate you!" she said. A small explosion went off in front of her.
"I know, it's ok, I don't know why I asked," he said, desperately trying to make up for what he had said, "it was a stupid question…I didn't even mean it!"
"Then why did you ask?" she asked, sparks and explosions were going off everywhere around them by now.
"Raven, please calm down! I know you don't hate me," he lied.
"Are you sure?" The explosions were dying down. There was only a handful now.
"Mm-hmm," he nodded.
"Okay." The explosions were all gone now.
She was quiet for a second and then said, "Beast Boy, I swear to you, I don't hate you."
"Then what do you feel?" he asked without thinking.
Oh boy…what a question! He thought. Aren't I intelligent and tactful?
"Umm…" she paused, "Other stuff."
"What kind of 'other stuff'?" he asked.
"Good 'other stuff'," she answered as she leaned her head on his shoulder and stared at the water.
"How good?" Beast Boy asked.
"Very, very good," she answered.
We're having a real conversation! Without yelling! Or sparks! Wow…wait a second…is he flirting with me? Raven thought. He is…and I'm flirting back!
"Good," he said.
"Why is that good?" she asked.
"Because I think good stuff about you too," he answered with a smile, "Very, very good stuff."
"That's nice," she nodded, "Very, very nice."
Beast Boy lifted her head, held her chin up close to his and whispered, "I love you, Rae." Then, he kissed her gently.
"I love you too," she whispered back and kissed him…a long, warm, loving one.
"That's good," he mumbled as he pulled back.
"Very, very good," she nodded.
He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. He opened it again and said, "Does that mean we're going out?"
She laughed, "Yes, Beast Boy."
"I'm glad Raven…real glad," he said.
"Me too," she rested her head against him.
