Disclaimer: IZ belongs to Nickelodeon.
Chapter 3: Ignorant worm beast! I am ZIM!
Dib woke up the next morning, to the sound of his scary sister's irritated voice.
"DIB! There's an alien at the door for you!"
He grumbled and rolled over to look at the blinking red numbers on his alarm clock. 7:30.
He groaned, "I'll be right there!"
Dib changed quickly, taking a minute to brush his teeth before heading down the steps to where said alien was waiting for him.
"What are you doing here so early, Zim?" he asked grumpily, "School doesn't start till 9."
"Good morning to you too, Dib-beast!" she said, "I just wanted to get a chance to talk to you before school started...in private."
Dib nodded dully, and led the way up to his room.
Locking the door behind them, he turned to face the green invader girl now sitting on his bed. He could have laughed at the irony. Here he was, alone in his room with his mortal enemy, not fighting, not trying to capture each other, as was the natural order of things, but simply having a civilized conversation.
Zim didn't look amused, however. "About last night..."
Dib nodded. He had been thinking about that too. Had even dreamed about it in fact...
Dib blushed and tried to focus his thoughts back on the present. He WAS NOT having sick fantasies over his archenemy.
So Zim had been thinking along the same lines as he had, and was coming to Dib for reassurance. Not that he was all that sure himself, mind you.
She cleared her throat and continued, "It didn't mean anything. We...we're still enemies, right? I'm still going to try to conquer this filth ball planet and you're still set against that. When the dance is over, things will go right back to how they were before."
Dib nodded, a smirk forming on his face, "Don't worry, Zim. I'll have you under a dissecting knife, ready for your autopsy, soon enough." He fought back the sudden images of alternate situations involving Zim strapped to a table and helpless to his every whim.
Zim smirked back, "You'll be having a hard time doing that from your dungeon cell, Dib-worm, once my popularity gains me supreme control over the rest of your fellow dirt-babies!"
"Not if I capture you first!"
"HA! As if your inferior human self were capable of such!"
"Oh, yeah?" said Dib, a split second before tackling Zim and pinning her to the bed.
She yelped in surprise, eyes wide.
Dib smiled, "Who's inferior now?"
Zim's surprise quickly gave way to anger. She glared venomously at him. "You DARE attack Zim while under truce?! Treacherous human filth! Release me this instant!"
Dib chuckled, but did as he was told.
Zim seemed surprised by this as well. She sat up and began rubbing her shoulders where Dib had held her down, still glaring at the human boy.
Dib grinned. "You know, Zim, just because we're enemies doesn't mean we can't be civil to each other...I mean, if we're going to be working together we might as well try to get along, right?"
Zim said nothing. She looked away and continued to rub.
"Aww, come on! Don't tell me your gonna be pouty for the rest of the day?"
Zim continued to ignore him.
Dib sighed, "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just-"
A sudden thought occured to him. Dib grinned mischievously, "Here, let me help you with that..."
He sat down behind her, reached up and began massaging Zim's shoulders. She tensed instantly, but Dib knew what he was doing. He had taken classes for this back when Gaz started getting cramps from staying in her zone too long. He soon felt the irken melting under his skilled hands. She even started making happy little chirping noises the earth boy found quite endearing. Starting at the base of her neck, he kneaded small circles out towards her shoulders, paying special attention to tender spots along the tops, and back again.
He whispered soothingly meanwhile. Was he putting too much pressure? Not enough? Go a little higher? A little slower?
Zim softly moaned her replies, Dib taking mental notes for later...
They were then rudely interrupted, when the left section of Dib's wall burst inward to make way for a puffy green puppy. (The non pervy readers sighed, for there would be no more scarring of minds at least for this chapter. However, the die hard slash fans gritted their teeth at this sudden change in mood, but accepted it for plot issues.)
They gaped at it. "GIR!"
"Hiya, Master!" the robot slave answered giddily, hopping over to the foot of the bed, "You forgot your lunch! I broughts it for you!" He unzipped his costume, opened up his head and brought out a leaky brown lunch bag. The little SIR unit presented it proudly to his owner, "I made a you a sammich! It's pickle butter and jellyfish!"
Zim groaned, giving Dib an apologetic look.
"Uh...that's alright, GIR. I've decided to skip lunch today. I'm not really that hungry..."
"Awwwww..." GIR said, making a sad little puppy face. Then he grinned broadly, "I'm gonna bake a cake!" and flew back out his newly made entrace.
Dib and Zim watched him go, and when he was gone, they just sat there in uncomfortable silence for a while.
Finally, Dib spoke up, "Umm...Do you...want to eat breakfast with us? It's still a little early to go to school, and since you said you're skipping lunch..."
Zim smiled, "Sure, why not?"
As they decended the stairs, they were met at the bottom by the Goddess of Doom.
Gaz paused her Game Slave, and looked up at them.
"Was that an explosion I heard coming from your room?"
Dib nodded, "Yep"
"Do I even want to know?"
"Probably not."
She opened an eye and considered her poor, insane brother for a moment, closed it, then shrugged, "Yeah, you're right" and went back to playing Vampire Piggy Vice City.
They arrived through the double doors of the school before the bell rang.
Though it seemed all the students were in a hurry, they weren't so much so that they didn't take time to notice the pair.
"Look, look!" they said, "It's Dib!"
"Who's that girl with him?"
"She's hot!"
"Maybe she's new and he's showing her around?"
"She's got that same skin condition like that green kid...what's-his-name."
"Hello, Dib." Came another, husky, voice from behind them.
Zim bristled at the tone. Parting like the waters of Moses, the teenagers stepped aside so Zim and Dib could turn to look directly at little Miss Sunshine herself.
"I heard about what you did in the cafeteria yesterday." She smiled warmly, slowly closing the gap between them, eyes focused solely on Dib, "And I was wondering if maybe later on you could give me a little demonstration..."
"He's busy!" Zim quickly inserted herself between the two (making the pervs in the audience drool at the idea of a threesome), "The Dib has no time to waste entertaining! He's going to be spending it preparing for the dance...with ME."
Shirley looked oddly at Zim, as if just noticing her for the first time.
"And who, exactly, are you? I don't think I've seen you around before."
"Ignorant worm beast!" the irken fumed, "I am ZIM!"
Astonished gasps and exclamations erupted from around them.
"No way! That can't be Zim!"
"Sure sounds like him though..."
"I thought Zim was a guy!"
"He did use to always wear a funny pink dress in middle school..."
And so on, along those lines.
The blonde bombshell smirked, "Well! It would seem everyone has the impression that you're a boy, Zim. Or that at least you used to be..."
She looked at Dib, "Playing on the other team now, are you?"
Dib glared at her, wrapping a protective arm around his alien's waist,
"You're all wrong! Zim is a girl!"
"And how would you know that?" she smiled mockingly at him, "Have you checked?"
Dib shifted his glare to the floor, suddenly blushing furiously.
Shirley's eyes widened, "Oh my gawd...YOU DID! You two...did it didn't you?!"
"It?" Zim narrowed her eyes in confusion, "What is this 'it' of which you accuse the Dib and I of doing?"
Dib knew of course. He paled, "Tha...that's not true! We never!...that is, I didn't..."
No one was listening to him of course. Although everyone already knew that the two were already involved with each other to a certain degree, what with Dib going over to Zim's house all the time to 'spy' on her, the school's current alpha female, Shirley Sunshine, had just announced to the entire Freshman class that their relationship was a bit more intimate than they had ever imagined.
Not that some hadn't already suspected.
They were then instantly separated as clusters of matching genders encircled each of them.
"How long have you guys been doing it, Zim?"
"You're not ashamed of it are you?"
"I've heard about some cultures where the women aren't allowed to even speak to anybody besides their husbands and have to wear heavy black clothes that cover their entire body, so that only the eyes show. Are you from one of those?"
Zim was still confused, and became even more so at the barrage of questions concerning the mysterious 'it' thing.
Dib wasn't much better off.
One of the first to approach him was Torque Smaky.
"So the freak's finally become a man, huh?" he said, giving Dib a friendly, albeit spleen shattering, pat on the back. "How does it feel? Was she good?"
Dib blushed, "I told you guys, we didn't do anything!"
"Aww, come on, Dib! Don't hold out on us!"
"Yeah! How else would you know that she's really a girl?"
Dib sighed, he obviously wasn't going to convince anybody. Not that he shouldn't be used to that by now. So he opted for a different approach.
He shrugged, "Even if I did, I wouldn't have anything to compare it with."
The others nodded sympathetically. Torque laughed, slapping a hand on his shoulder,
"Stick with me, kid! We'll get you educated, soon enough!"
Dib blushed darker, "Um, thanks, but I really don't-"
"What?" someone else ventured, "You gonna tell us you're only interested in cross dressing aliens from outer space?"
The others snickered.
"Hey! Lay off the guy!" said Torque. Dib looked surprisedly at him. Torque Smacky, the guy who'd regularly wash Dib's head in the toilet, the guy who made Dib pay him for the priviledge of doing his homework, was standing up for him?
"He's cool," his former tormentor continued, "He's a man now. If he don't wanna tell us, he don't have to."
The others lowered their heads sheepishly and mumbled apologies to Dib, and he just stood there dumb struck. He was cool? He, Dib Membrane (I know that's not his real last name, but I like to pretend it is anyway :-p ) was a man? Not a freak, not a weirdo, but...normal. No, better than normal. He was COOL! (With three exlamation marks no less!)
Torque smiled down at him, "But you'll tell us eventually, right?"
"Dib!"
The poor boy almost sighed in relief. Instead he just smiled at them. "Excuse me," he said, and strutted over to Zim's side, who had just escaped her own gaggle of investigators.
He was feeling so good, in fact, that he swept her up in his arms and planted a kiss soundly on her lips, before setting the bewildered extraterrestrial back down, arm around her shoulders.
"Come on, Zim!" he said, enthusiastically, "We don't wanna be late for class!"
Zim said nothing. The pressing of his lips on hers had been brief, but the effect reverberated through her body. She felt a sense of loss when he'd pulled away. He grinned down at her while she mulled over his curious action. Kissing wasn't that common in Irken culture, so it was a unique experience for her. She realized she liked it, and a slow, steady smile creeped up on her lips. She shrugged, wrapping her own arm around his waist.
"Whatever, Dib-beast."
He grinned broadly, giving her shoulders a tight squeeze before walking them to their first class. It was social studies, with the most boring, tedious teacher in the entire school. Even that did nothing to dampen Dib's spirit. Things were actually looking up for once.
Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.
The End!
...of Chapter 3! : D Hee-hee! How many of you fell for that? Anyways, as per Anime Obsessor's comment, Zim learned about the HUMAN male and female anatomical differences! Why would they teach irken biology on Earth anyway? And don't worry, I'm not yelling at you. Just setting the record straight in case anybody else missed that. Also thought I'd mention that since I'm also working on another ficcy, I'm gonna hold this one for ransom! The next chapter will come out after say...50 reviews? And they must be signed! And they must praise my awesomeness! No flames! And if I don't like them, this ficcy will DIE! (insert maniacal laughter with spooky thunder and lightning in the background)...Oo; lol, just kidding! I'm just using unreasonable expectations as an excuse to be lazy!Hee-hee, am so evil...;-) Many thankies to celestial star for helping me proof read this, and adding random special touches! :D
