Life Changes

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to first, and foremost, JKR, and her partnerships with Scholastics, Bloomsbury, Warner Bros., etc.

Summary: I looked down at the child, his wrinkly nose, his little fists, and his soft chest moving up in down. Tears of joy spilled out of my eyes and James even got choked up. "We created this," I said softly, running my finger over the baby—Harry's—arm. "Oh, I don't think I can believe it… We made this amazing little boy."

Authors Note: As you can obviously tell, I'm reposting the end of this story. I was not at all pleased by the last chapter. It was rushed because my sister was losing internet connection at home. But we're at school now (her college) and I have enough time to write the final two chapters of this story. And hopefully they will be more pleasing than the last one. They won't be rushed. In fact, I expect to get back into the groove and get these two posted back-to-back. I hope you're sticking with me!


Life Changes

As the battle against Voldemort began to take over our lives, I steadily became more and more pregnant. It was fully showing and I felt pain in places I didn't even know existed. Auror meetings plagued our days, with gatherings twice a week and sometimes more. But it seemed as though, that no matter how tired we were, we would never complain. We knew Dumbledore couldn't do this alone; it was a big and frightening war.

Risking our lives became more and more prominent and we always tried our best to not have any regrets. Even Sirius and Dorcas were settling down. The petty fights ceased as we taunted death but it never actually caught us. Even love was blooming during the time, and John got married to a wonderful woman named Carroll, who he had met at work; she was secretary of the Minister of Magic.

Because of my pregnancy, Crouch and Diggory had made me stop coming to work. They said it was too dangerous being an Auror while pregnant. I could have argued that I risk my life all the time for the Order, but it wasn't something to flaunt, and I held my tongue. So my days went by, slower and slower, it seemed, and every day was like a challenge. Often times I didn't know what to do with myself, so I cleaned the house ruthlessly, by hand, as a Muggle. Other times, I went to visit my friends at work, James more so than the others, and they would visit me at home on breaks. Some days I went to my mother to talk about child raising and to get tips for my baby's birth.

This occurred for months, but became an increased amount when June faded into July.

"Is there anything you regret doing with me or 'tunia, Mummy?" I had asked, one day in early July, sipping tea with my mother.

She smiled as she heard 'Mummy' and looked toward the floor in thought. "I might've wanted to have you two when I was a bit older, Lily," she said quietly. "I've always wanted to start early, but I may have started too early."

I looked up from the cracker I was picking up. "Do you think James and I are too young, then?"

"I think," she said, a smile playing upon her lips, "that you have a miracle inside of you. I also think that this baby is going to have all the love in the world, because you and James care for each other so much, and this baby is going to be treated like royalty."

I smiled at her, "I still can't believe that it happened. I thought we were good and protected. But you're right, this baby is a miracle. I think a baby would have to have some special quality to be born during a time of despair. I just hope he's safe."

My mother gave me a reassuring smile, "I'm no wizard, but I know you and James are both powerful. And you two have friends that would never let anyone harm your child. I'll be surprised if that baby's not the safest baby in the entire world."

I laughed a little bit, "He's growing on me," I said, holding my stomach. "I just know he's going to be the most beautiful baby in the world."

"You've found out it's a boy?" my mother shrieked excitedly, almost spilling her tea down her front.

I handed her a napkin, "Well, no. I just feel like he's a boy."

My mum smiled at me, laughter in her eyes, "And what's his name, Lily?"

"Harry."

The time spent with my mother was never in vain. James almost always commented about how I'd come home very happy and satisfied by what had been discussed at my parents' home. It was the same night, in the early part of July, that James and I were eating dinner quietly, when we were summoned to an unexpected Order meeting.

"Are you ready for them?" I called across the kitchen, finishing slicing the carrots that were going in our stew.

"Yes," James responded, shifting so I could scrape them off the cutting board and into the heated water. Unexpectedly, James kissed me over the stew. I pulled away, giving him a big smile, and walked over to the pantry, to get out napkins for dinner.

"Lily!" James called loudly, his voice holding what I thought of as urgency, as I reached for the napkins. "Lily, come here."

I came near the stove, toward the back of James. His broad shoulders were crunched over and his face bent down, as though reading something. I reached his side and looked down: a phoenix feather. With a wave of my wand, I turned off the stove and drained the stew.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I took the food off of the counter.

"Headquarters," he said quietly. "We have a meeting… Dumbledore said he has news and that it's mandatory to attend."

"Let's go then," I said, reaching out to hold his hand.

He gave me an anxious look, "I really hope we don't have a mission."

"Nobody ever wishes for one, dear," I said sympathetically, Apparating on the spot.

"Yes," said James, continuing our conversation as he landed next to me in Headquarters. "That's true, but the matter remains that I don't like the idea of you fighting when you're so close to giving birth."

"I'm a month away still!" I said indignantly. "I joined this society to fight—"

James opened his mouth but was interrupted, "I wonder what this is all about," said a very exhausted Sirius Black. "I worked all night last night, and I'm still beat from it."

His face showed obvious signs of exhaustion, little lines were forming under his eyes, but he still held that charisma that only he and James shared. He gave me a smile and a hug, "How's the baby?"

"He's kicking around in there," I said, as Sirius put his hand on my stomach, then pulled away quickly.

"Wow, you aren't kidding. You've got a little fighter in there," Sirius looked up at my face. "Well, that rules out that this is James' child."

I laughed along with Sirius, but we ceased when we looked up to see James focusing on looking for Dumbledore. Sirius gave me a look and I said quietly, "He's worried about me fighting this late in the pregnancy."

Sirius scrunched up his nose in thought, something I had never seen before, and he turned to James. "Hey there Prongs. How's the work coming?"

"Fine, Padfoot," James said distractedly. "Why are we here? What's the big news?"

"Don't you know?" Sirius said, getting James attention. "There's this bloke Vol—"

"Sit down, please!" came the call of Dumbledore, who interrupted Sirius' explanation. James, Sirius and I turned around and sat next to Peter, Remus, Marlene, Edgar and Dorcas. Before we could greet each other, Dumbledore went on. "We have some news about the Order and it's vulnerability in this war." Everyone looked at each other anxiously. "A few members have been sabotaged in their missions, and have come to the conclusion that there is, indeed a traitor amongst us. We are not accusing anyone, but we wanted to make sure you know to keep a sharp eye out for anyone going anywhere suspicious or doing something that makes you wonder what the motive is.

"Also, we wanted to take a photograph of the entire Order," Dumbledore said, his eyes, I noticed, had lines under like Sirius', but much, much worse. I began to wonder how many sleepless nights the Headmaster had had. "After the picture, we can leave. I daresay that I've taken most of you from work or dinner, so I won't keep you any longer."

Dumbledore stepped down from the center of the room and began lining people up for the photograph. After many minutes of trying to keep everyone in spot, and quiet, the camera clicked and we were ready to leave. James slung his arm around me, as our group of younger Order members chatted away.

I looked toward James who offered, "Anyone who's not busy can come back to our place for some dinner." I nodded my encouragement.

"They pulled me right out of Gringotts," Peter said bitterly. "But food sounds wonderful now. I'm sorry, Lil. Maybe another time."

"That's all right Peter," I smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "Our house is always open."

"Except at night," James said, grinning at Peter who said his goodbyes and made his leave.

Marlene, looking as bitter as Peter did, too had to leave and gave her friends a goodbye before Apparating away; Edgar had dropped by to say hello, but mysteriously left on business. It was just Remus, Dorcas, Sirius that went back with James and me.

"Blimey," Sirius said, uncorking his butterbeer as we all sat in the living room, settling after the meeting. "A spy. I wonder who Dumbledore thinks it is."

Dorcas, who had been staring at the wall, turned to look at Sirius. "Did he even say he had an idea of who it was?"

"He didn't," James said, before Sirius muttered a word. "But Dumbledore wouldn't have said anything if he didn't have an idea of who it is."

Dorcas nodded helplessly. "You're right. Of course. I guess I just want to think that we're all on the same side. I don't want to believe that there is someone out there betraying us."

Everyone nodded in agreement except for Sirius. "It's a lose-lose situation, Dor. If we don't have someone betraying us, then Voldemort is a bigger threat than we anticipated. If nobody is telling him about our plans, than he's predicting them like they are the most obvious things in the world."

"I had never thought of it that way," Remus muttered, running a hand through his hair, looking at Sirius. "That's a good way to think about it. We can find the betrayer. It's Dumbledore, he can do anything."

We stared in different directions, nobody meeting each other's eyes. The only thing we could do was hope for the best because it truly was a lose-lose situation.

After dinner that night, our friends left and James and I were left alone sitting at the kitchen table.

"I'm worried," James admitted. "I'm worried about my friends, my world, my baby…"

"What about me?" I joked, smiling at him.

He looked up giving me that good-looking smile he had, "You're under the 'my world' category."

I leaned across the table and gave him a sweet kiss. "I think we'll be okay. We've got awesome friends, good jobs, we're powerful, resourceful and most of all," I leaned over to kiss him deeply on the lips, "we have love for each other."

"I can't wait to be a Daddy," he said, moving closer to me and throwing his arms around my stomach.

"I know. I can't wait to make you happy."

"You do make me happy," James said, kissing my cheek.

"I just know you're going to love this baby, James. I know you're going to be the best Daddy in the world," I said, burring my face in his chest.

"I won't be as good a Daddy as you will be a Mummy," he said sweetly. And for the night, we just sat there. Holding each other, so much in love and feeling that if we were to move from this spot, in the end, we'd regret it.

Three days later, after visiting my mother I came home to find my house silent. All the lights were off and I took out my wand apprehensively. Flicking on a light switch I called, "James?" I continued through the house and called again, "James!"

I peered into the living room, "Surprise!"

My friends were gathered around the living room, surrounded by packages. James greeted me with a soft kiss. I looked around and found Sirius, Remus, Peter, Marlene, Amelia, Dorcas, John with his wife Carroll and Edgar with his soon-to-be wife, Emily.

"What's all of this?" I asked, laughing.

"It's your baby shower!" James said excitedly. "Your mum and dad have a couple presents there for you. Sirius and I even got Petunia to send you a gift, though we might've scared her into it," he threw a grin to Sirius who laughed as a response.

"I can't believe you all did this!" I said, greeting them individually. "You shouldn't have gone through all the trouble."

"Nonsense, Lily," Marlene said, "we know how you excited you are! After all, it's your first child. They are always the ones that you spoil above the rest, simply because they're the first!"

"She's right," Amelia said, as everyone nodded in agreement. "Have you met darling Emily?"

I gave a smile to the tall brown-haired woman sitting next to him. "It's so good to finally meet the girl who's caught Edgar's heart!"

Emily smiled warmly at me, holding out her hand; Edgar looked positively delighted. "Edgar has told me so much about you. Congratulations on the baby! You'll be a mother soon enough!"

"Thank you for coming, Emily," I turned to Carroll, "and thank you, as well. I know you two aren't my closest friends, but it means a lot to share this experience with the two girls that have made my guy friends so happy!

"As for you, two," I said, turning to get hugs from Amelia and Dorcas, "I'm just so happy that you're here."

"Anything for you, Lils," Dorcas said; Amelia had tears in her eyes.

"That goes for us, too," Remus said, and I turned my attention toward the Marauders.

"James Harold," I said, smiling at him. "You're the best."

"Anything for you," he said giving me a long hug. "Now how do you like the idea of opening presents!"

I grinned, "Oh, yes! I'll love to see what you all have thought of for our little boy."

"You know it's a boy?" Marlene said excitedly.

"It's a guess," Dorcas said. "Wishful thinking, Lily?"

I grinned at her, picking the nearest present and opening it up.

"I can't believe we're at a baby shower," I heard Sirius say to James as the girls shrieked over how cute the little shoes were that John had gotten the baby.

But no matter what Sirius thought, and no matter who agreed, they stayed for the entire shower and ate pudding at the end of the party. Soon our house was so fully of baby clothing, furniture and toys that it seemed as though James and I had little shopping to do.

"This was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me," I said as I picked up the toy Marlene had gotten the baby; a little teddy bear with an attached broomstick in Quidditch pajamas that could fit a nicely sized baby. "This is the most darling toy I've ever seen. Oh, Harry's going to love it."

James grinned over at me, placing some baby clothing in a small drawer, in the room across the hall from ours. "I'm glad you had such a great night."

"I'm surprised Petunia gave me anything," I said, yawning, "let alone a push-cart!"

"I think it's time for bed," James said, as he yawned in response, leading me down the hall to our bedroom.

"That sounds good to me," I said, as we crawled into bed. "I love you, James."

"I love you, too, Lily."

"Just breathe normally for me now. Yes, yes… that's it."

A couple weeks after the baby shower, I sat in St. Mungo's, getting my pregnancy check. It was almost every other day, it seemed, that I came in, making sure that nothing would be wrong with the baby. Fortunately, nothing was ever wrong. Each day I'd go home, happier than when I came, and then the cycle continued: anticipating the appointment, getting worried about the news, then feeling relief fall over me.

"Everything's fine, as always," Remus said, smiling at me. "You're actually pretty close to the end of the pregnancy."

"Yes, a month away," I smiled slightly. "I can't wait!"

Remus looked up from the parchment he was filling out. "Well, from the last test, I'd say it may be a bit earlier than that."

"You mean my baby will be premature?" I said, panic-stricken. "I mean, when the baby is born early sometimes they're too small, or sick, or not healthy enough to make it, right?"

Remus gave me a reassuring smile. "The reason I say that your baby will be out soon is not because it's looking premature. It's because your baby is big, healthy and the perfect size for birth. You've treated that baby so well, Lils. I wish more mothers treated their babies as royal as you treat yours."

I looked over at him. "Are you sure?" I said apprehensively.

"Believe me," Remus said, extending a hand to help me up. "You're in great shape, and so is your little one."

I walked to the doorway. "Thanks Remus," I said smiling, and he muttered his soft you're welcome. "And by the way, I'll see you soon. After James hears the news, he'll want you to come over."

Remus laughed at me, "Owl me when he wants me over."

On the spot, I Apparated home and found Sirius and James sitting around the kitchen table talking.

"I've just come from the Healers!" I said excitedly, "and Remus thinks our baby will be born sooner, James! Isn't that fan—" I stopped myself as I looked at their faces. "What… what happened?"

"You should sit down," James offered, pulling a chair next to him.

"No," I breathed. "No, tell me."

"Lily," Sirius said, "you really should—"

"No," I said in a low voice.

"I'm sorry, Lily," James said, throwing a look at Sirius, "we both are."

"What—"

"It's… it's Marlene," James said, holding up the paper. "She… she… Death Eaters got her whole family."

"No!" I screamed at them. "No, no, no, no, NO! She's not! Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not," he said gravely, "I'm sor—"

I ran from the room, up the stairs and into the nursery, picking up Marlene's baby present. James came into the room to comfort me, and Sirius sat by the door frame, his eyes tearing. I held the present to me, tears running down my cheeks, "She's not dead," I cried. "She gave my baby this, James! She gave this because she was going to be there for the birth. She can't have died! She just can't have!"

James threw his arms around me, letting my cry into him, loudly sobbing. "I'm sorry, Lily. I'm sorry you had to hear such good news and then this horrible news. I'm sorry, love."

"At Hogwarts, she was one of the most caring, beautiful, intelligent girls in her year. She became Head Girl, top student and took over the Charms Club after Lily left. She was a remarkable person, and may she rest in peace. She will be missed."

We gathered around the grave, our regular group watching one of our own being lowered into the ground. Another lifeless body that faced the wrath of Voldemort. I had never felt a July 30th as cold as this one. Each one of us stayed silent, light tears running down our faces. After the ceremony, we entered a small chapel where all of Marlene's friends and distant family members gathered around each grieving in their own way. Remus was staring blankly at the wall, "I should have told her that I liked her," we heard him mumble every one and a while. Dorcas and Amelia sat at the table leaning on each other for support and Sirius kept his jaw locked, keeping silent.

Neither of us seemed to move until ten o'clock. The party was ending and many of the guests were leaving. Slowly each one of us stood up and awaited the others. After James stood up, I went to stand up but didn't get very far, "Oooh," I said, holding the side of my abdomen.

"Lily," James croaked out, leaning toward me. "Lily, are you okay?"

A gush ran down my pants, "I… I think my water just broke."

Remus walked over toward me, "She's beginning labor," he said, and everyone immediately stood up. "You should take her to St. Mungo's straight away, I'll go there ahead. And make sure someone gets her a couple changes of clothing."

James brought me to St. Mungo's… the rest was a blur.

"Okay, Lily," the Healer said encouragingly, "okay, you're almost there."

"Breathe," James said to me, as I clutched his hand. "Breathe, breathe, breathe—"

"I AM BREATHING!" I bellowed in exasperation, feeling as though my body had been set on fire.

"You're there, Lily, on the count of three, push," he ordered. "One, two, three… Go, go, go! Lily, I see the head! Take some deep breaths. Are you ready? One last push and you are a mother!" the Healer said excitedly.

James kissed my forehead, "C'mon, sweetheart. You're almost done. You can do it, Lily!"

"Ooooh, just get that baby out of me!" I said trying to keep my legs on the bed, instead of letting them kick the Healer. I closed my eyes in pain and gave one last push, "ARGH!"

To my delight I heard a faint cry from somewhere near the Healer's arms. I looked up to find James beaming at me, kissing me repeatedly on the forehead as I sat up to peer at my child.

"I can't believe it," James breathed, as the Healer brought us a little bundle that laid in my arms.

"Here's your little boy," the Healer said softly. "Congratulations."

I looked down at the child, his wrinkly nose, his little fists, and his soft chest moving up in down. Tears of joy spilled out of my eyes and James even got choked up. "We created this," I said softly, running my finger over the baby—Harry's—arm. "Oh, I don't think I can believe it… We made this amazing little boy."

"We're parents," he said, moving a chair over to the bed side, creeping closer to our baby. "He's beautiful."

"And look! He has your hair, Prongs!" James and I looked up to see Sirius grinning at us from the doorway; he walked over to us and titled his head, looking down on Harry. "My, my, isn't he a good-looking chap? He'll have a girlfriend before you know it!"

James laughed, but I said, "Sirius! Don't rush him to grow up! He's staying with Mummy for a very, very, very long time, aren't you my sweet, precious Harry?" I began playing with his little hand, "Because his mummy loves him very much." From the corner of my eye I saw Sirius and James grin at each other. "Hey, Daddy," I continued, receiving James' attention, "would you like to hold our little boy?"

James sat up; cradling our baby just as our friends slowly entered the room. They all admired him. To our surprise, his eyes opened to reveal strong green eyes that mimicked mine. When Harry was passed over to Sirius, Sirius seemed to have thought of something.

"This little boy has been born in a time of many problems. Let us hope that he brings change. This little kid has so many exciting things going on around him, and I'm going to teach him to drive Mummy and Daddy up the wall," Sirius said, turning his grey eyes to look at James and I, giving us the most meaningful and loving look I had ever seen Sirius give anyone. Softly he continued, looking straight at us, "But I know he'll be the best gift anyone could give, no matter how life changes."