Chapter 5: Escape of the Cake Monster!
The alien-paranormal investigator pair walked to Zim's eerie house. The dance was now only 3 days away, and they had yet to test out Zim's dance implanting technology.
As Zim opened the 'men's room' door she was instantly tackled by a hyperactive robot slave, Dib's arm around her waist the only thing holding her up.
"HEEELP! HELP ME, MASTER! THE CAKE MONSTER ESCAPED AND TRIED TO EAT ME! HE ATE THE COUCH AND PIGGY AND THE TV AND--"
He caught sight of Dib, "Hee-hee. The Dib worm followed you home! Can we keep him, Master?! Huh, can we, huh, can we, huh huh huh?!"
Dib bit back a laugh as he watched Zim pry GIR from her neck.
"Ugh! NO, GIR!" she held the robot at arm's length by its single antenna, "The Dib is only staying long enough to practice for the dance! And what is this 'Cake Monster' nonsense of which you speak?"
GIR pointed back into the house and the fleshipods looked over his shoulder.
It seemed the android had used too much yeast. The oven had exploded, the cake mix had flowed out and it seemed to have swallowed up the living room.
A muffled 'oink' was heard from nearby.
Zim's left eye twitched.
Now Dib did laugh.
"Hahaha! Looks like we got our work cut out for us! Come on, Zim, I'll help you clean up."
Zim followed Dib into the house, muttering darkly under her breath about so-called advanced units needing to be scrapped.
She deposited GIR on the blob that resembled a couch, and made her way to the 'kitchen' side of the ground level, the goo sucking on her boots like quicksand until Zim lost both of them, and was forced to continue barefoot.
"Ick!" Zim didn't particularly care for the sloppy feeling that the stuff gave as it squished between her toes. She stopped halfway and debated whether or not to go back for the boots when she was suddenly lifted off her feet, and cradled in a pair of trench coat sleeve covered arms.
Dib didn't wait for Zim to protest, and merely trudged the rest of the way to the sink, his own boots somehow still miraculously attached.
Setting the Irken down on a relatively goo free portion of the sink, he opened up the bottom drawers and rummaged around for the cleaning utensils they would need.
Zim watched him curiously as he worked, wondering whether to scold the human for treating her mighty Invader self like a mere smeet, or whether to feel smug that he'd worried so much about her discomfort.
The debate ended when he shoved a bucket and sponge into her lap.
"What's this?" Zim demanded.
Dib rolled his eyes, "Duh, they're to clean the mess. We'll start with the walls so whatever drips fall on the floor and we'll do that last."
"Why should I have to clean this? It was GIR who made the mess! That horrible robot should clean it up!"
Dib, his own sponge and bucket now in hand, looked over into the living room where the SIR unit was bouncing on the couch shaped blob along with another pig shaped blob that squealed on every bounce.
"You sure you can trust him to handle it?"
Zim watched her robot slave suddenly sink into the couch blob after coming down from one of his jumps, and shoot back out via a broken seat spring, effectively impaling his head into the ceiling.
GIR's little mechanical legs kicked wildly, "I'M A CEILING FAN!" he proclaimed.
Zim sighed in defeat and started scooping cake mix into the bucket.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Luckily, Zim's garbage disposal was just that, and not some poorly disguised elevator or other such thing. They removed most of the gunk from the kitchen walls before deciding it would be easier to move around without mucking through the slop. Dib cleared a small area on the floor for Zim to stand on, and continued working on his side.
After a while, Dib became exhausted, having done most of the work, and decided to take a break. His eyes instantly searched for Zim. They found her on hands and knees, facing away from him, scrubbing at a stubborn bit of goo on the floor.
Dib watched Zim's bottom bob enticingly as she scrubbed, and a powerful, primal urge descending upon him.
He couldn't resist.
Zim yelped as she felt something wet and sticky smack her tush, and fell face first into the goo.
She picked herself up and turned angrily towards Dib. The human was laughing and tossing up another ball of mix tauntingly in the air.
"Hehe! Gotchya!"
Zim scooped up her own blob and smirked at her opponent, "So, you wanna play, do you? You are a fool to challenge the great ZIM, puny earth monkey! Prepare to meet your DOO--OOF!"
"HA! Gotcha again! You gotta be faster than that Zi--mmph!"
And so the great cake mix fight began!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hours later...
GIR had dislodged himself and eaten most of the cake mix by now, the walls were still covered with recently flung balls of goo. The flingers were silent except for each others laboured breath, held at the standstill between two determined rivals that could only be brought on by complete and total exhaustion.
"Truce?" panted Dib, who for some reason was hanging upside down from a ceiling fan (the real one).
"Hehe...I'll spare...you this time...Dib-monkey...so yeah...truce" said Zim, crawling out from her fortress under the overturned couch, and sprawled on her back so as to not breathe in the goo on the carpet.
The fan blade that had been Dib's perch suddenly snapped and the boy fell head-first onto the couch. From there he fell again, this time landing flat on top of Zim.
"Oof!" they said.
Dib groaned and tried to rub the sore spot on his head, but found that his arm control nerve wasn't in the mood for taking orders right then. So he just lay where he was, and tried to catch his breath.
Zim grunted under him, "Get...OFF...stink beast!"
"Can't" he said, and demonstrated by pushing himself up a millimetre on shaky limbs, before they gave out and dropped him back down.
"ROLL off!"
Dib had landed on Zim so that their heads were next together and ended likewise with their legs. He smirked into the alien's carpet.
"I don't know, Zim." his breath was returning to him, "I kind of like you like this..."
"Well, I don't!" she squirmed uncomfortably, "Ugh, I'm all gooey!"
"No problem. I'll help clean you up..."
Zim gasped as she felt Dib's tongue scrape across her neck. She turned her head in an attempt to get a better look at him.
"What are you--"he licked some cake mix off her cheek, licking his lips sensuously as he did so.
Zim shivered, looking up into the hungry eyes of her captor. "Mmm, you're delicious, Zim!" he lowered his lips until they brushed Zim's collar bone "Mind if I taste you?"
Without waiting for an answer, Dib started nibbling.
Zim still wasn't strong enough to force the boy off, and after a while, wasn't entirely sure she wanted to.
The worm baby was very thorough in the grooming of his partner, making sure he went over every inch of uncovered skin before moving on the next. Zim eyes fluttered shut and she whimpered, unconsciously tilting her head to provide him better access.
He had just worked his way up to Zim's jaw line, when the alien felt him stop and pull away. She opened her eyes and looked dazedly up at him.
"Since when do you wear perfume, Zim?" he asked.
It took a second to process the question in her fuddled head, "Perfume?" and another to take notice of the heady sweet fragrance that must've prompted his asking.
Upon recognizing the scent, Zim's eyes bugged out, her cheeks suddenly taking on a lovely eggplant purple hue. Oh Tallest! She was releasing--
"Pheromones..."
Dib squinted a curious eye at that, the expression quickly turning into a savagely evil grin when comprehension dawned on him.
"Pheromones? Really?..."
Zim's mind raced with panic. If Dib had looked hungry before, he was ravenous now!
"Ph-Ph-Pharaoh...Monies! The n-n-name of the perfume I--"
"If it's really a store bought bottle of volatile liquid from distilled flowers," his face inched nearer to hers with every word, "Then why am I only smelling it now?"
"Um, err, you-you w-weren't this close b-before...and-and-and..."
Zim's voice trailed off, Dib's face hovering dangerously closer.
"Don't believe you..."
The fragrance seemed to double in strength now. Dib let it wash over him, the intoxicating sweetness, added to his now shivering prey's vulnerability, and was slowly driving the boy insane.
Dib stared at a little smear of mix on Zim's upper lip. His gaze lifted up into Zim's eyes, and then back down again. She knew it was there, and what Dib planned to do about it. Zim shut her eyes tight and waited, waited for him to--
"Eeep!"
Squeak like a moose? No, that wasn't what she was waiting for.
Zim opened her eyes to see Dib's own shut tight and biting his lips, trying hard not to laugh.
She let her gaze travel down the length of his body to where GIR was licking his feet free of mix, the boy's boots having come off at sometime during the fight.
Dib was to the point of tears now, some muffled giggles and a bit of blood seeping from between his lips.
"GIR!" said Zim, "Stop that!"
Her faithful little S.I.R unit looked up from his task, goo covered tongue hanging limply to one side, "But I wanna help too!" the robot slave giggled, "I wanna clean the Dib like he's cleaning Master!"
Zim looked accusingly at the boy as if to say "It's your own fault". Dib merely shrugged and smiled helplessly, at ease now that he wasn't being tickled anymore. Giving Zim one last disappointed look over, he rolled off and managed to sit up, losing the android in the process.
Zim finding herself able to move as well, did the same.
"Hehe, looks like we got a little side tracked, huh?" Dib straightened his crooked glasses as he posed his question.
"We?!" asked Zim, trying desperately to seem cool and unfazed by recent events, "You started it!"
"And you finished it."
Zim preened, "Of course! I couldn't exactly let you get away with assaulting me like that! I had to teach you a lesson, vile stink creature!"
"Riiiiiiight," Dib rolled his eyes. Just then his watch started beeping. Amazed the thing still worked he looked at it, "Wow, I hadn't realized how late it's gotten. I need to get home." He stood up then, and looked down Zim.
"I'm sorry we never got to try out your dance machine thingy, but we still got time. We could do it tomorrow, if GIR doesn't conjure up anymore pastry monsters."
"And of course, you're leaving me to clean this up all by myself, aren't you?"
"You know I wouldn't do that to you, Zim." Dib said fondly, as he reached down to grab the Irken's hand and help her to her feet, "I'll come by early tomorrow and help you finish up, okay?"
"If I get any more help from you, I'll never finish!"
Dib chuckled, "Still, you had to admit that was fun."
"Yeah, well...I still want to get this over with before morning."
"You sure you don't want my help?" Dib smiled seductively, slowly pulling her towards him.
"Positive," Zim quickly freed her hand and flipped him around before that odd squishy feeling in her stomach could convince her otherwise, and shoved him towards the door, "Now hurry up and leave so I get started on this mess!"
She opened it and pushed him out, slamming the door before he could get a word in edgewise.
Dib stumbled and fell, was caught by the lawn gnomes and unceremoniously tossed onto the sidewalk. Despite skidding on his rear and dropping his glasses, he had a huge grin plastered on his face. Having located and replaced his spectacles on his nose, Dib stood up and composed himself enough not to skip the rest of the way to his house. When he arrived he opened the door to find Gaz's back to him, sitting on the sofa and flipping randomly through channels, eating her seventh slice of Pizza Hog's pizza.
"You're late, Dib." She said without turning to look at him, "Did you bring the soda?"
Dib admitted that he hadn't. They had run out the day before and he had promised to get more on his way back to school.
Gaz slowly lowered the remote control and without turning her head said, "You realize I have to doom you now, don't you?"
Dib chuckled, "Hehe, yeah, I guess you're right."
Now she did turn to him, the joviality in the acceptance of his punishment disturbed her.
"What are you so happy about?" she challenged, "Did you get laid or something?"
Dib flushed, "Gah-az!"
His violet haired sibling laughed and smirked at him, "Geez, I was just kidding! As if that could ever happen to you!"
Dib glared at her for a moment, before smirking himself, "Not yet anyway..."
Gaz stared in confusion as Dib made his way triumphantly up the stairs to his room and closed the door behind him. After listening to him start to whistle a silly little tune, she finally snorted, deciding not to ask about the questionable substance that had decorated his clothing hair, abandoning her brother to his dillusions. She turned back to her channel surfing and bit savagely into another slice of pizza. She'd doom him tomorrow.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zim pressed his back against the door, sighing in relief that the Dib, along with the coiling heat that had been building in his belly, was gone.
That was close!
Everything had been all fun and good up until the goo fight, and while he really didn't want to clean the rest of the base by himself...
Zim raised shaky fingers to dip at the base of his neck, thought about how the human's tongue had stroked there; how his touch had burned his skin, but in a good way. He had wanted to feel that burn all over his body; the thought of the boy's adventurous lips, where they would go, what they would do and what it might lead to...it had been all he could do to keep his 'secret' from slipping out, let alone his pheromones.
"I...hadn't expected any of this to happen...nor my reactions to him. He's an inferior stinkbeast! I am the conqueror here! So why does he suddenly have such...such influence over me? An elite member of my race such as myself shouldn't be at all attracted to lowly human worm babies! Especially not my sworn nemesis! Even if we are currently working together under a truce..."
But while said worm baby had none of the magnificence of an Irken, he still had to admit he was certainly pleasant enough to look at...
Normally, Zim would have ruthlessly suppressed any hint of emotion or desire. Irkens did not allow themselves to experience such things; instead they channelled their energies into honing their bodies and invading skills. Their supremacy depended on their fierceness and utter lack of mercy when facing their enemies! But the Dib was his partner for now, and maybe later, if all went well, Zim might be able to convince him to join his in the mission. Hadn't he read somewhere or other that the safest and surest way to destroy an enemy was to make him your ally? He had dismissed it as nonsense at the time, but was now beginning to comprehend the truth of it, of how much simpler things would be to have him helping him instead of being a constant distraction and foiling his painstakingly thought out plans!
Not that he wouldn't be a distraction to him then as well though...maybe even more so.
"...I suppose that I'll just have to remember to be more careful in future...interactions with the Dib." he concluded.
A high pitched squeal distracted Zim from his thoughts. He looked over to GIR who was on the TV 'cleaning' his piggy now. Zim flinched at the disturbing noises his methods elicited from it.
He then took a look at the work he had ahead of him and sighed again. It was gonna be a long night.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
End Chapter 5!
Okay, some people are getting confused, so let me clear things up.
Zim is a GUY. He is a guy PRETENDING to be a GIRL. Dib does not know this...yet : D
I had tried to remind everyone of the fact last chapter with the whole "Master" "Mistress" thing, but...oh well.
Woot! Got more new readers! 'Sup Pancake and Metrion! Welcome to mah fic! But I am confused as to the meaning of LYEKOMGWTF. I know what OMG and WTF mean, but LYEK? Wazzat? Oo?
Ack! Please don't cry! Here, Look! Look! Updates! Happy now? Yes? Good, and if not...pooh on you! Oh, and thanks for the fave! : D
Now, for those of you who were hoping this wouldn't turn into a slashy ZADR, this is probably as slash happy as it's gonna get, as I don't do lemons. For those of you who were hoping for one, go read a lemony section from some other ficcy and pretend that it happened here too before Dib left or whatever.
And for those of you who were wondering what the bad girls are gonna do,the trouble starts in the next chapter! >: -D
Also, my proofreader PP has just told me she's going camping for 2 weeks, so updates will be a little later in coming than usual.
