Chapter 7: Closing the Deal

"Eh?"

"My girls are top of the line hackers! I plan to have them follow you and be present at the download to get the sequence of lever pulling and button pushing. If it works, I'm going to make myself an appointment!" Shirley grinned wickedly before continuing, "What I need you to do is distract Zim. Get her far away from wherever it is the Dance Machine is and keep her away! We won't need more than probably an hour, tops."

"Should we really be talking about this right now?" Dib scanned behind himself nervously, "Zim could come back any-"

"I gave my team specific instructions to keep her busy for 30 minutes. We still have 10, so lighten up!" Dib looked doubtful, but shut up nonetheless. "Now, when is the download taking place?"

"Er," Dib rubbed the back of his head, "We were supposed to have done it last night but..." he blushed embarrassedly now at the memory, "never got around to it...we're gonna try again today though. After school's over and granted her robot hasn't created any new crises."

"Oh yes, the GIR unit...it is a bit accident prone isn't it? We'll take care of it."

"You...you're not gonna hurt him are you?"

"We're not going to destroy it, if that's what you mean." She said off-handedly "Live specimens would be more valuable than dead ones."

Dib ignored the switch from singular to plural and swallowed down the fast rising bile before replying, "Going through an awful lot of trouble for a cheap plastic tiara, aren't you?"

"We're all in this for our own reasons. As long as the objective is achieved, who cares why?" Her face hardened then, "I can't promise anything, though. We're professionals, the mission and my girl's safety comes first."

Dib didn't like where the conversation was going, "Retreat then. If you can't do it safely tonight, pull out and re-infiltrate when you can. The dance isn't until the day after tomorrow, so you've got time."

"I've got other plans." She glowered, "This can't wait. If something happens you'll just have to deal with it."

"You can't just-!" realizing his voice was turning heads, Dib lowered his yell to a whisper, "You can't just blow me off like that! If you want my cooperation, you better get your priorities straight! Promise me no harm will come to either Zim or GIR! Promise or you can forget the whole thing!"

Shirley's cell phone rang. Without checking to see who it was, she got up and turned it off, "Time's up, Dib. Somebody's going to capture an alien by the end of the week, and if you want that person to be you, I suggest you reorganize your own priorities if you want to count on my cooperation."

She started to leave, but Dib shot up and grabbed her arm before she could get too far. Shirley turned and stared, stunned at his audacity.

Dib locked his glare on her, "I'm not budging on this, Shirley! Promise me or forget it!"

A hint of green moved through crowd in the corner of Shirley's eye. "Your girlfriend's coming, Dib. If you don't let me go, you'll have a lot of explaining to do."

Dib smiled self mockingly at her, "Doesn't matter. I'm the love struck victim here, remember? As long as Zim thinks she's got me under her thumb, it's my word against yours, the jealous rival. You're the only one with anything to lose here, Shirl. It's up to you."

He let her go.

Shirley's hand instantly went to the smooth the imprint on her arm of the boy's palm. She noticed the pillar of green, black and lavender had stopped just short of the two. She contemplated calling Dib's bluff and seeing if the alien had as much faith in him as he thought she did. Tempting, very tempting; but she needed him. He'd pay for this afterwards.

"...Fine."

Shirley whirled and stormed off.

Dib watched her leave, not daring to let out his breath until he was sure she wasn't going to change her mind and come back.

Once she was out of sight, he let out a long breath and sat down. He'd risked a lot making demands like that. He'd been counting on the assumption that she couldn't pull this off on her own, or she wouldn't have asked to join him in the first place. Looks like it worked.

Now to tie up the other loose end...

"Hey, Zim," he said, back still towards the invader, hoping tact and niceties would buy him time to think up an explanation, "How'd it go?"

"What were you doing, talking to the Shirley beast?!" Zim demanded, getting straight to the point.

So much for plan 'A', thought Dib.

Out of time, and knowing silence wouldn't help, he decided to test out his own theory go with the truth.

"Shirley was just asking me why I chose you as a partner, and wouldn't I rather like to go with her instead?"

Although she suspected as much, Zim was still taken aback that Dib would just come right out and say it. "...And?"

He turned to her now, his amused smile confusing the alien even more.

"I was tempted... but I like your perfume a lot better than hers."

Zim's anger fled from her then, its heat in her face turning into the kind associated with embarrassment.

Dib smiled a real smile then. On impulse, he stood and went to her.

Having finally recognized the pattern, Zim shut her eyes and braced herself for the kiss.

She was surprised to have Dib hug her instead, and without the intensity of times before. He rested his chin on her head as he rocked her slightly, more a comforting movement than anything else.

"I'm sorry, Zim," Dib whispered.

Not sure she'd understood what he'd said, and before she could make him repeat himself, the bell rang and Dib pulled away from her, taking hold of Zim's hand once again and led them into the school building.


Zim watched Dib out of the corner of her eye as they walked down the street towards his base. The human had been 'spacing out' quite a bit during their last few classes, sometimes while staring out a window, but more often than not, at Zim himself. He seemed to be trying to figure something out...

Could it be possible that the paranormal investigator had somehow discovered his secret? Or at least suspected? Zim thought back to anything he might have said or done that might've given himself away, but his ruse was flawless! Obviously something else was occupying his mind.

"Dib?" he said.

The boy continued walking as if he hadn't heard him. Zim said his name again, louder this time.

Dib finally reacted, "Eh? What? What, Zim?"

Zim narrowed his eyes and continued angrily, "You're not still thinking about the Shirley beast's offer now, are you?"

For a moment, Dib's eyes widened in panic, but the moment passed quickly and he seemed to sigh in relief.

"Jealous, Zim?" he chuckled, giving the alien's hand a reassuring squeeze as they continued walking, "Don't be. You know I'd rather be chasing you, than skirts."

"Jealous?! Zim is not jealous of inferior furless earth monkeys!" he said, secretly relieved to know he still had Dib all to himself, yet a bit confused by the mental image of the human pursuing a run-away skirt. He remembered having watched something similar involving pants on a cartoon show GIR'd been watching once. Timmy Moron or something like that, "I merely assumed because you're acting a bit more empty-headed than is normal for you and was concerned."

"You were worried about me?" Dib slowed his pace and smiled broadly at the Irken.

"Not you!" Zim tried to cover his slip, "I meant the mission! Your being distracted might-"

"That's sweet, Zim." Dib said, bringing his face closer to the alien's.

Suddenly, he hesitated, as if catching himself doing something he shouldn't.

"Uh... you... you had something on your nose." Dib brushed his fingers against the spot on Zim's face where his nose would be if he'd had one.

Before Zim could point this out to him, Dib looked up and announced, "Well, we're here!" consecutively dragging Zim up the path to his house.

Upon opening the door, a duty mode GIR in full arsenal blocked his path.

"Halt, human! I am protecting this house! Retreat or prepare to be destroyed!"

A cold trickle of sweat ran down Dib's forehead as the lights indicating the robot was powering up his weapons climbed their gauges and he backed away slowly, yelping in surprise as Zim pushed past him.

"Stand down, GIR!" he said, torn between pride that the SIR was actually doing its job, and irritation at its timing, "It's just the Dib! He's our ally now, remember?"

"Beef Dib?" the android asked, weapons shutting down as he reverted back to GIR mode.

"No, GIR. The Dib is not stuffed with disgusting cow products!" Zim turned a quizzical eye on the boy, "...Are you? Your trenchcoat does carry a faint stink of slaughtered bovine."

"That would be because it's leather," Dib sighed and scratched the back of his head. "But I did have a burger for lunch today..."

"Oooo! The kind with beef in it?" GIR grabbed his tip-toes and rocked on his bottom.

"Uh..."

Zim turned his back on their stimulating conversation and searched for something to distract his SIR unit with, completely unaware of the 3 sets of eyes discreetly watching him from the rafters.

(End Chapter 7!)

Not my best work, I'll admit, and a lot shorter, but it'll have to do. Oo;

A lot of people's main point of focus here seems to be Dib's reaction to discovering Zim's not really a girl. I wrote that part already, it's the events leading up to that point that confound me and cause such long waiting periods between posts! Otherwise I'd just outline the basics and tell you all exactly how everything ends, but I don't think you'd like that, would you?

To those who've stayed reading up this far: Thank you for your continued support,patience and cookies! And of course reviews too:D