Hey guys! This is my first Spuffy fic, let alone my first AU fic. Well, hope you guys like it…

A/N: This is an AU fic, Buffy is not, and never will be, the Slayer. Spike is not, and never will be, a vampire.

Disclaimer: You know the drill… I don't know anything. I'm just barrowing these characters. They belong to Joss Whedon… Who, in my opinion, in a god… Along with James Marsters :P

Welcome to Bizarro World, Chapter 1 – Barbie and Ken

"I know, Will, but there's nothing I can do." Buffy Summers said into the phone as she folded a pair of shorts and put them into a suitcase. She was packing to go on a trip with her parents. They were going to North Carolina to visit Buffy's aunt and uncle. Buffy would usually gag at the thought of spending 'quality time' with her parents, but her cousin, Cordelia, would be there, so it wouldn't be that bad. "We're leaving tomorrow."

"I know, it's just, it's gonna suck this summer without you." Willow said from the other end of the phone.

"I'm sorry Wills." Buffy truly was sorry. She had been planning on hanging out with her friends this summer. She and the gang, Willow, Oz, Amy, Scott and Harmony, were all planning to go to rent a cabin in the woods for a couple weeks. Buffy had been looking forward to this for over a month. She had thrown a fit when her mother told her that they would be spending the entire summer in North Carolina, but the fit ended when her mother told her that she could get a new outfit.

"So, when are you getting back?" Willow asked.

"Well, my parents won't be back until a week before school starts." Buffy replied, searching through her closet for more clothes. "But, my mom said I could come back early so I could spend at least a week with you guys."

"Good." Willow said. "'Cause it wouldn't be fun without you."

"Well of course, it's not a party without me." Buffy joked.

"Well, you know I'm not gonna have any girls to talk to except Amy and Harmony, and that's worse than talking to a brick wall." Buffy laughed at this.

"But I promise, I'll write, and call, and even send a smoke signal if needed." Willow laughed at this. There was a beep on the phone. "Oh, Wills, that's my other line. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay, have a fun trip, Buffy."

"Thanks, Will. You guys have fun too." Buffy clicked off and switched lines. "Hello?"

"Buffy?"

"Oh, hey Cordy!" Buffy said in a chipper voice. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, I just wanted to ask you a question." Cordelia said.

"Ask away."

"You're still single, right?"

"Uh, yeah." Buffy stopped what she was doing and tried to figure out what her cousin was up to.

"Okay great." Cordelia said. "Because Angel's best friend is going to be here, he's a total hottie."

"Oh, uh, Cordy I don't know."

"Buffy, you need to lighten up." Cordelia said.

"I am lightened up. I'm totally light." Buffy said.

"Great!" Cordy said. "Because this guy is a major hottie, Buff."

"Yeah, that's great." Buffy said. "But I-"

"Blue eyes, brown hair, built body…" Cordy went on.

"Yeah. That's really-"

"And he's a sophomore in college!" Buffy stopped what she was doing.

"H-he's in college?" She stuttered.

"Uh-huh." Cordy smiled.

"Cordelia, he's two years older than us."

"So, what's your point?"

"My point is… He's two years older than us."

"Buffy, come on. It's just two years." Buffy sighed.

"Fine." She said. "I'll meet him. But I'm not-"

"Great, you'll meet him tomorrow." Cordy cut her off. "Okay, well it was great talking to you Buff. I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, she was gone.

"Cordy?" Buffy said. "Cordy?" She sighed when she didn't hear anything and hung up the phone.

"Great." She said as she continued packing.

OOO

After the plane ride known to man kind, Buffy and her parents got off the plane and walked into the North Carolina airport.

"My god, I am so glad to be off that plane!" Buffy said, taking off her sweater.

"Buffy, don't take off your sweater." Buffy's mother said.

"Mom, It's warm." Buffy protested.

"I don't care. You're in public." Buffy sighed at this. Sometimes it seemed like Buffy's mother had been living in a cave for that past twenty years. In her mind, the men went to work and the women had the babies, so to speak. Growing up, Buffy was never allowed to wear any skirts above the knee. She wasn't allowed to date until she turned sixteen, and even then both her parents had to approve the boy first. She was never allowed to go to unsupervised parties, and her mother never allowed her to drive a car. Now, the fact that she had her own private driver, thanks to her father's money.

Buffy's father owned his own business, a very successful business at that. Buffy was never really sure about what her father did exactly, her parents had never explained it to her. All she knew was that he had to wear a suite everyday, and she had to be a perfect little lady when the Christmas party rolled around. Buffy was a little annoyed with all the rules that her parents put on her. But, she knew that she had a name to keep up. She had to make her father proud.

"Please put your sweater back on, Buffy." Her father told her. Buffy sighed and put her sweater back on.

"Buffy!" Buffy looked in the direction of her name being called and smiled when she saw her cousin standing with her boyfriend and a boy who, Buffy assumed, was the boy that Cordelia was trying to set Buffy up with.

"Cordelia!" Buffy smiled as she ran over to them. She hugged her cousin then looked at her cousin's boyfriend. "Hey Angel." She smiled.

"Hey Buffy." Buffy looked at the boy standing with them and stood in awkward silence. Cordelia looked at her.

"Buffy, this is Riley Finn." She gestured to the boy. "Riley, this is my cousin, Buffy."

"Nice to meet you." Riley said, taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips. Buffy blushed as he gently kissed her hand.

"Nice to meet you too." She said. Buffy's parents made their way to the group of teens.

"Uncle Hank! Aunt Joyce!" Cordelia put on a forced smile as she hugged her aunt and uncle. "It's so good to see you!"

"Oh it's good to see you too, Cordelia." Joyce said. "Where are your parents?"

"Oh, they're at home, waiting for us." Cordy explained. "I'm here to make sure you have a way to get there."

"Yes, we've rented a car." Hank said.

"Great!" Cordy smiled. She looked at Buffy, then back to her aunt and uncle. "Would you mind if Buffy rode with us?"

"Well, I don't know…" Joyce said.

"You don't have to worry, my boyfriend will be driving, he's a extremely safe driver." Cordelia smiled at Angel. Joyce eyes the boy in front of her.

"Well, we have to pick up our luggage…"

"Oh, honey, let the girl have some fun." Hank said, smiling at his daughter. Joyce stayed silent for a second, then sighed.

"Fine. Just be careful." Buffy smiled.

"Thank you!" As soon as she said this, the group of teens were gone.

OOO

Buffy walked out with her cousin and stopped when she saw Angel's red convertible.

"That's Angel's car?" She asked.

"Yeah, nice, isn't it?" Cordy said, getting into the front seat. Buffy stood awkwardly, not sure on where to sit.

"Here, you can sit by me." Riley said, grabbing her hand. Buffy smiled and slightly blushed as he pulled her into the car. Angel started the car and pulled out of the airport parking lot. As they started driving down the road, Riley looked at Buffy.

"So, Buffy…" She looked at him. "What to you like to do for fun?"

"Oh, you know." Buffy said, a little shy. "Stuff." Riley laughed at that.

"What kind of stuff?" He asked.

"Well, school is a big part of my life." She told him, causing Cordelia to roll her eyes. "I also like to hang out with my friends."

"Yeah?" He asked. "Me too." Riley smiled at Buffy as they continued to drive to the Chase's.

OOO

Later that day, Cordelia was helping Buffy unpack in one of the guest rooms.

"So, what do you think?" Cordy asked. Buffy looked around the room.

"It's nice." She said. "I like the wallpaper." Cordelia looked at her, a little confused.

"What?" She asked, then realized Buffy was talking about the room. "Not the room, Buffy. Riley! What do you think about Riley?"

"Oh." Buffy said, looking down as she put a skirt in a drawer. "He's, uh, he's nice."

"Nice?" Cordy asked. "That's it?" Buffy looked at her.

"Well, I don't know. I mean, he's cute, but I don't know him enough to really judge."

"Oh come on Buffy." Cordy said. "He's a babe, what else do you need to know?"

"Well, I think there's more to someone than just there looks." Cordy just smiled at her cousin.

"Girl, you are the strangest person." With that, she walked out of the room. Buffy just smiled and shook her head.

OOO

A little later that night, Buffy was sitting in her room reading a book. She was in the middle of a sentence when Cordelia entered. Buffy put her book down and looked at her.

"What's up?" Buffy asked.

"Angel and I are going to The Aluminum Can." Buffy stared at her cousin in confusion.

"The Aluminum Can?" She asked.

"It's an all ages club." Cordy informed her.

"Oh." Buffy said, going back to her book.

"We wanted to know if you wanted to join us."

"That's okay." Buffy said, not looking away from her book.

"Riley might be there." Cordy said.

"I'm really fine here." Buffy said.

"Buffy, it's just one night." Cordy told her. "Come on, come have some fun with us."

"Cordy," Buffy said, reluctantly putting down her book. "I don't think my parents will let me."

"Oh come on, I'll sweet talk them into letting you go." Buffy slightly smirked at this.

"I don't know…"

"Come on, Buff." Cordy pleaded. "Pleeease?"

"But, I've never even been to a club." Cordy stared at her.

"You've never been to a club?" Buffy shook her head. "How could you have never been to a club?"

"Well, my parents never let me go anywhere that's unsupervised. Especially if that place is with a boy."

"So, you've never been on a date either?" Cordy asked.

"Of course I've been on a date!" Buffy said. "I mean, my parents won't let me go to parties and stuff like that."

"Oh." Cordy said. They both stayed silent for a few minutes. "Well, if I get them to agree to it, will you come?"

"I don't know…"

"Come on, pleeease?" Buffy sighed, unable to say no to her cousin's face.

"I don't have anything to wear." Cordy smiled.

"You can barrow something from me." Buffy sighed as Cordelia dragged Buffy into her room.

OOO

After letting Cordelia sweet-talk her parents into letting them go to the "completely supervised social establishment", Buffy was sitting in the back seat of Angel's car, while Angel drove to the club.

"I can't believe you lied to my parents." Buffy said to Cordelia.

"I didn't lie." She said.

"You told them that we were going to a completely supervised social establishment where there would be lots of reading and studying."

"Well, I'm sure that some people there will be reading and studying." Cordy said. "I never said that we would be the ones doing the reading and studying."

"You implied it." Buffy smirked.

"Implied, never said." All three teens laughed. They all fell into a comfortable silence for the next couple minutes. Angel looked into the mirror and looked at Buffy.

"So, you like Riley?" He asked. Buffy nodded.

"He's nice." She said.

"He likes you too." Buffy looked at him.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yeah, he said you were really sweet." Buffy smiled at this. Angel pulled into the club's parking lot to see Riley standing there, waiting for them. He smiled as they pulled up and his smile grew as Buffy got out of the car.

"Hey." He said to her. "You look amazing!"

"Thank you." Buffy smiled. Cordelia and Buffy had spent over an hour picking out her outfit. They must have tried on almost every single piece of clothing Cordelia owned, which was a lot. Buffy finally decided on a Red silk top and a black skirt, with black sandals to match. Cordelia decided on wearing a simple, but stunning, black dress. Both decided to wear their hair down.

"You don't look to bad yourself." Buffy smiled at Riley.

"Thanks." He said, opening the door for her. They walked in and Buffy took in the scene around her. It wasn't exactly what Buffy had been expecting, but it was pretty close. There were a few people sitting at some tables, a smallish line for the bathroom, but most of the people were on the dance floor.

Angel, Cordelia, Riley and Buffy made their way to a couch, set in the corner. Riley stood up and looked at Buffy.

"I'm gonna go get something to drink, would you like anything?"

"A water?" She told him. He nodded. "Thanks." Riley walked away and Buffy looked over and Angel and Cordelia, who were already in make-out mode. Buffy waited a few moments for Riley to come back, but when he didn't, she sighed and got up to check out the dance floor.

As soon as Buffy stepped onto the dance floor, the lights went dim and a spotlight was formed on the stage. A pretty girl with blonde hair stepped out onto the stage.

"Okay, uh…" She pulled out a note card and started reading it with no enthusiasm at all. "Are you guys ready to rock? Well, I hope you are because here's a band that's sure to rock your socks off…" She paused and looked at a brunette boy with a guitar. "Who wrote this crap?" She asked him.

"Just read it!" He yelled at her, causing some people to chuckle. The girl continued to read the card in her hand.

"Well, here they are… The No-namers." She looked at the same boy. "Who came up with that lame-ass name?"

"Anya!" The boy scolded her. She just rolled her eyes and stepped off the stage. Buffy slowly made her way up to the front of the crown as the band started to play their cover of 'I wanna be sedated'. She looked up at the boy who was singing, her breath caught a little as she saw him. He was tall and built. He had beautiful blue eyes and bleach-blond hair. He was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans. His fingernails were painted black. Usually, Buffy didn't go for the 'punk rocker' look, but e was gorgeous! Buffy smiled at him when he looked at her. He smiled back and winked at her, Buffy felt like she was going to faint.

There were a couple other guys on the stage, but Buffy didn't really pay attention to them, her attention was fully on the blonde singing.

Buffy danced a little to the music, she had never really heard this kind of music. She was more of a Michelle Branch girl herself. But she liked the music, and she also liked the boy who was singing the music.

After playing a few songs, the band stopped and the blonde walked off the stage. The brunette boy, who looked a little nervous, stepped up to the microphone.

"Uh, thank you all." He managed to get out. "You've been a lovely crowd!" With that, he left the stage. But, not before tripping over a cable that was on the floor, causing the crowd to laugh.

OOO

Buffy made her way back to the couch, where Cordelia and Angel were sitting, and surprisingly enough, they weren't making out. Buffy sat down next to Cordy.

"There you are!" She said. "Where the hell have you been?"

"I was listening to the band." Buffy said. "Why?"

"We've been looking for you." Cordy said.

"Well, I was up front." Buffy said, looking around the club. "Where's Riley?"

"He, uh…" Angel sighed. "He left."

"What?" Buffy asked. "Why?"

"Well, when he came back you weren't here…" Cordy told her. "And then when we couldn't find you, he figured that you just left. So, uh, he left."

"But, I didn't leave!" Buffy said. "I just went up to see the band play!"

"God, why?" Cordy asked. "That punk-rock crap was giving me a headache."

"I kind of liked it." Buffy admitted, she chose not to tell them about the sex god that she recently was drooling over. "I can't believe Riley left."

"We could go to his place. Angel suggested. "He's probably-"

"No, that's okay." Buffy cut him off. "You guys just… go back to whatever it was that you were doing. I'll go find something to do."

"Are you sure?" Cordelia asked, not wanting to leave her cousin alone at a club that she had never been to before.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Buffy said, standing up and leaving the couple on the couch.

Buffy walked to the bar to get something to drink. The bartender looked at her.

"Can I get you something?" He asked.

"Can I have a water, please?" She asked. He nodded and walked away. After a few moments passed, he came back with a bottled water.

"That'll be a dollar, seventy-five." He told her. She reached down and realized that she hadn't brought any money with her, which was odd, considering she always brought money with her.

"Oh, crap!" She said to herself. "I forgot my purse!" The guy just starred at her, and started to walk away but a masculine voice stopped him.

"This one's on me." Buffy turned to see the blonde sex god standing beside her. He slipped the man a couple dollars. "Keep the change, mate." Buffy smiled as the bartender gave her the water. She looked at the blonde.

"Thank you." She said. "But, you didn't have to do that."

"Whatever." The blonde shrugged. He walked away, but Buffy followed. They walked over to a wall, and he leaned his back against it.

"I'm Buffy." She told him.

"That's nice." He said. She stared at him, waiting for him to tell her his name. After a few moments, he sighed. "Spike."

"Huh?" She looked at him.

"My name is Spike." He told her again. "Buffy, was it?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Buffy Summers."

"What kind of name is 'Buffy' anyways?"

"What kind of name is Spike?" She retorted. He smirked.

"Touché." He said. They stayed silent for a few seconds.

"I heard your band." She told him.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I saw you in the audience."

"Oh." She said. "You were good."

"We sucked tonight." He said.

"I didn't think so." She told him.

"Yeah, well, what do you know?" He asked. She looked at him, a little hurt. But, she stayed silent. "Why are you over here, anyway?"

"Because I have nothing better to do?" She looked at him, and then sighed. "The guy I came here with bailed on me."

"Aw, did Ken leave Barbie?" Buffy looked at him, shocked by the tone in his voice.

"Yeah, well look who's talking." She told him. "If anyone should be compared to Ken, it's you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked.

"Look at you!" She said. "You're like 'Punk-rocker Ken! I mean, your hair looks like it's as hard as a rock. And, what the hell were you thinking when you died your hair that color anyway?"

"Who says it's died?" He asked her.

"Oh please!" She said. "I don't believe for a minute that your hair is actually that color!"

"Well, look who's talking, Blondie." She just stared at him.

"What the hell is your problem?" She asked. "I mean, all I did was thank you for buying my water, then complement your band! God, you're not supposed to act like a jackass when someone gives you a complement. Don't you know that? Or is all that bleach that you poured on you head seeping into your brain?" With that, she walked away. The brunette boy who was playing the guitar walked up to Spike.

"Who was that?" He asked him.

"I don't know." Spike smirked. "But I like her."

"Xander…" The girl who introduced their band walked up to the guys. "You left me all alone in the middle of all the sweaty people."

"Sorry An." Xander said, putting his arm around her. He looked back at Spike. "So, who was she?"

"I don't know, just some bird who liked the band." Spike told him.

"Oh." Xander said.

OOO

A little while later, Buffy, Angel and Cordelia were walking out of the club when Buffy bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm so sorr-" She looked at the person and realized who it was. Spike. "Oh, it's you."

"Gee, I'm glad you're so happy to see me, Luv."

"Why would I be happy to see you?" Buffy asked. "And don't call me love."

"Why not, pet?" He asked, with a smirk. She just groaned and started to walk away. But Spike followed her.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked.

"Walking you to your car." He stated simply.

"Why?"

"Because, there are a lot of bad people out here at night." He told her.

"Yeah," She said. "And I'm looking at one of them."

"Ooh, ouch, Pet." He said, putting his hand over his heart. "That really hurt, pet."

"I told you don't call me pet!"

"No, actually you told me not to call you luv." He smirked.

"Don't call me anything!" She was getting irritated, and he liked it. She stomped her way to Angel's car, and watched Cordelia get into the car. Angel walked over to get into the driver's side, but watched Buffy.

"Buffy, Are you okay?" He asked. She turned to him.

"Yeah, Angel." She said. "I'm fine." Angel nodded and got into the car.

"Is that Ken?" Spike asked, giving Angel the once-over.

"What?" She asked. "No."

"Oh, Ken never came back?" He asked, Buffy looked down at the ground. "Poor Barbie."

"Stop with the dumbass names."

"Ooh, Barbie's got a mouth on her." Spike smirked and leaned in closer to her. "A very sexy mouth." He said in a low voice, he gave her a quick kiss, then turned around and started to walk away. "See you later, Barbie." He yelled with a smirk. Buffy stared at him, then got into the car.

"Are you okay?" Cordelia asked, pulling Buffy out of the trance she was in.

"Yeah, Cordy, I'm fine." Buffy told her.

"God, what a freak!" Cordelia said, looking at Spike.

"Yeah…" Buffy said. "Freak." She said this, but for some reason, she didn't fully mean it. She continued to stare at him as Angel pulled out.

OOOOOOO

So? Please tell me what you think. This is my first AU fic. I hope you like it, Please Review!