Chapter 14: Further Delusions
Black Braids clicked off her mini tape recorder. She would play back the entire conversation for her commander afterwards.
Just as she was about to leave, she heard Zim sigh and turned back around, instantly clicking the recorder back to life. Sighs were often followed by laments and those usually contained pertinent information.
"Stupid Dib!" said Zim, pulling out and fiddling with the wires in the control panel, "Throwing careless words around like that! Did that stinking human think I, Invader Zim, would just melt into a melty puddle of gratitude? HA! Ha-ha! Hahahahahah!"
She slammed her fists down hard on the panel at the end of her laughter, and stayed quietly motionless for a time.
"...I wonder if he'd still have said it if he'd known...if he'd known the truth about me...that I'm..."
BB scooted further up her ledge, holding her recorder slightly ahead of her, not wanting to miss anything the alien might say under her breath.
Zim slammed her fists down again, "It wouldn't have mattered if he did anyway! The results would be the same! It's not like emotions are magic lamps that can fix everything and give everyone what they want!"
She started yanking at the wires again, with a bit more force than was necessary, but said nothing more.
BB frowned. She'd been so close...
Zim suddenly abandoned her work, opting instead to rub at her aching temples, "No," she sighed again, "It wouldn't have made a difference whether he knew I was really male or not..."
Just then, something dropped in through the elevator.
"GIR!" cried Zim, "Where have you been!"
The android still in costume smiled, "Stuffing burritos down my pants!"
Zim shifted her eyes to the lumpy brown goo oozing down his pant legs.
"...Whatever. Go clean yourself up and then come back here and help me with this mess!"
"Okie!"
BB turned off her recorder and left, assured she had all the blackmail material needed. As Zim had said, whether or not Dib knew the alien's true gender did not matter to the final outcome. However, it would matter quite a bit to the voting parties at the dance tomorrow night...
(page break)
Zim stifled a yawn, and tried to bring the words on the chalkboard into focus. She wasn't doing a very good job of it.
A yawn escaped her lips then, but she didn't care. GIR had been more hindrance than help that night, but at least she'd been able to get rid of the nauseating bean smell.
Out of habit she looked over at Dib. It didn't seem as if he'd gotten much sleep either. The human's huge head was nodding as if his neck was no longer strong enough to hold its enormous burden and his eyes kept fluttering shut.
(bonk)
Dib startled awake and looked dazedly about himself, eventually finding the eraser that had assaulted his temples.
He automatically looked at Zim, who had her head lain down on her desk in feigned sleep and facing away from him to hide her smile. It was so easy to fall back on old habits. Then she remembered she was mad at him and the smile fell into a frown.
(bonk)
Zim felt the eraser bounce off her own head and watched it roll on the floor out of the corner of her eye. It wasn't the one she had thrown. It was Dib's. His name was penned across the flat, pink surface. She left it there.
Eventually the bell rang and Zim stood to leave, when she felt Dib's hand closed over her own. She didn't pull away, but neither did she look at him. "I have nothing to say to you, human"
Dib squeezed her hand, "But you can still throw things at me, right?"
Zim glared at her desk, "Force of habit. It meant nothing."
"Hey!" said their teacher, "Zim! Dib! Class is over! Continue your conversation outside!"
They left, but didn't talk anymore. Dib hadn't let go of her hand, and Zim didn't ask him to. The plan hadn't changed. The deception of affection would remain in place. She couldn't let people make assumptions that they'd broken up and that Dib was up for grabs.
The rest of the school day they spent together but in silence, speaking to each other only when deemed necessary.
Afterwards, when Dib had walked Zim across no-man's-land to her door, he turned and started off for his own home, "See you tonight, Zim." unknowingly dragging the Irken behind him.
Zim dug in her heels and pulled Dib to an abrupt stop. He looked back over to her. Zim sneered, "Release me, -human-!"
Dib looked down at their hands, "I did..."
Zim looked down as well, realizing he was right, and let go of her grip on him. She then turned and stomped up the stairs, slamming what was left of the door behind her.
GIR was instantly in her face, waving an envelope between them and chiming "You've got mail!" over and over until she took it from him.
"It's probably just junk mail!" she hissed, stalking over to the waste disposal unit.
GIR magically appeared on top of it before she got there. "Mail lady said 'Make sure your master gets this'" he said, his head bobbing as he spoke, "and then piggy and me had a tea party with the lamp, and we ate the mushrooms growing on the fuzzy orange stuff behind the refrigerator and got all sick and stuff! (hic!)"
While GIR was never very adept at taking messages, Zim felt inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt this time. She looked at the envelope. It was blank, with no stamp or return address, but she knew who it was from. Tearing it open, she found inside a slim piece of paper with a phone number on it.
She dug out her old phone from her storage closet, plugged it up, and dialed.
"Hello, Zim," said the sarcastically friendly voice of Shirley Sunshine, "Don't bother saying anything. This is just a recording. And don't worry, I promise this is the last time we'll be bothering you. Just thought I'd let you know we're offering you one last chance to take advantage of our offer!" The recording giggled, "Recognize this?"
At first all Zim heard was static, but then, "...I wonder if he'd still have said it if he'd known..."
It was her own voice! She knew what came next. Zim controlled her urge to start screaming and cursing into the mouthpiece. The answering machine probably wouldn't be intimidated anyway.
"Hmhm, I think you do." the human's voice continued, "Anyway, I've already gone ahead and made several copies and have them spread out throughout town, so unless you follow my instructions carefully..." she let the threat hang in the air, "Why don't we talk this over a cup of coffee, hm? Go to the Star Chunks on Maple and tell the server you want a decaf espresso. -click- To listen this recording again, press one. To end this call, please hang-"
Zim slammed the phone down on the receiver and fumed. Another trap! But what choice did she have?
(Page break)
Shirley sipped her vanilla and caramel cappuccino and flipped to the next page of the book she was reading. It was lucky a friend of her father's cousin knew the brother of the Coffee Shop manager's fiancée. Her girls were seated nonchalantly around the small table, each enjoying their own drinks as they waited for their guest to show...
A strange knock at the door alerted them to her arrival. Two fast beats, a pause, one beat, another pause and 3 beats.
While Shirley bookmarked her place, Red Curls went to open the door where she and Zim glared at each other for a few hostile seconds, before RC recovered her bearings and stood to the side, allowing the cross-dressing alien entry.
Shirley smiled at Zim and nodded her head an empty chair at the table, "Have a seat."
Zim stopped a few steps across from the chair and crossed her arms, "I'd rather stand."
"Suit yourself,"
A square of metal bars suddenly sprung up and around Zim, the ceiling of the cage landing with a loud clang.
"But, you're going to be here for a while," Shirley continued conversationally, removing her hand from the button under the table, "So; you might want to make yourself more comfortable."
Oddly, Zim didn't act surprised. Perhaps she'd been expecting this...but it didn't matter. -This- cage wasn't titanium, but it was charged with non-lethal, yet intensely painful currents of electricity. Zim must have expected that too, or at least suspected, because she made no move to touch the bars...in fact, she'd been careful to avoid coming into contact with anything at all...
Zim continued to stand. She looked bored, "Can we get on with this, please?"
Dismissing this fact, due to her being already confined, Shirley had Black Braids produce a mini tape recorder. "I assume you know what this is?"
Zim nodded, a glint of eagerness showing through her 'boredom'
"Good, because I'm taking it to the dance with me tonight...All of us are," On cue, the other girls each produced their own mini recorders, "You'll be spending the night here of course," She continued, "but, in case you're thinking of enlisting outside help, this is a little incentive to encourage that you don't."
Shirley flashed another smile, "Don't worry, though. You'll be set free tomorrow morning, and can go about your business as usual...you can even have your little boyfriend back, if you want him. He'll be of no use to me after this."
Zim glowered, "And what guarantee do I have that you won't change your mind and decide just to keep me locked in here, permanently?"
"None whatsoever. But who knows? Maybe a prince in cheap tuxedo will come to your rescue!"
Zim lowered her gaze to the ground, "I see. This has all been very clever...for a human." She then lifted it back up, a sinister grin playing with her mouth, "But it is nothing compared to my blinding brilliance!"
Zim then began to glow, as if with an inner light.
"What the-?"
Too late, the girls weren't able to look away in time, and were subsequently blinded when Zim burst with light, as if her entire body were a giant camera flashbulb.
Sent into panic by the temporary blindness, Shirley didn't notice the energy ropes binding her and her minions until she felt her middle being squeezed and her back pressed at an angle to 3 other backs.
When her sight returned, Shirley noticed what looked like an obsidian cut tea-cup, upside-down with the top replaced with clear glass, walking around on little skittish legs. It looked like a little beetle.
The beetle seemed to flicker as a startlingly life-like hologram of Zim took its place.
"It would seem you will be the ones refraining from attending the social human event this evening," the hologram said, "I will deal with you later. I would ask you to try not to make too much noise as it might bother the customers, yet I noticed that this room seems to be surprisingly sound-proof..." The hologram grinned and flickered again, this time taking on the form of Miss Sunshine herself.
"I hope none of you have to urinate or anything like that," the holo-Shirley said in the real-Shirley's voice, "And if you do, well, I hope you can hold it for a few hours..."
None of them said anything. Shirley's minions kept their silence because their heads had knocked into each other during the binding and were unconscious. Shirley wore an unreadable expression. She could've been angry, shocked, or maybe she realized she had to pee...it was hard to tell.
The hologram turned and walked to the door, then shut down while the beetle crawled up to the doorknob and opened it. The holo-Shirley reappeared even before the beetle jumped and hit the ground, using her 'foot' to close the door behind her. As she exited the shop, the manager gave 'Shirley' a questioning glance. 'Shirley' nodded and smiled, "Would you please make sure nobody goes back there until tomorrow? We had a little accident..."
The manager nodded, and left. Zim heard a distinct click, and when he returned, the manager jangled the keys to the lock in the air to her.
'Shirley' shook her head. "Hold on to them for me. I'll come get them tomorrow."
He nodded again, and returned to do whatever it is managers do in their offices.
'Shirley' stopped in front of the shop's double doors and made a small clearing of her throat. Immediately someone stepped up to open the door for her, and she winked at him, making the poor boy swoon and faint.
Once the holo Shirley reached a deserted alleyway, it turned to go inside and shed its disguise, activating the auto-homing device.
Back at her base, Zim switched off her holo-transmitter and stretched out her back, yawned, and swiveled her chair, jumping out and walking to her closet to pick out her outfit for her date tonight.
(End Chapter 14)
Capra hircus: And this is where Zim's cunning gloriness ends! I plan to have him make a fool of himself in coming chapters for no reason other than my own amusement! Hope you enjoy that part too!
DibMagician: Once a month was only if I didn't have the entire story written out yet. I am proud to say I have officially completed my 17 chapter ZADR! So every half month!
All Apologies: Zim thanks thee, human stink-beast, for appreciating this authors' greatness!
Anime Obsessor YR: Hooray for random noises! Woot!
blu sanada: Even though you probably haven't made it this far, thanks for reading!
