We-e're off to see the Wiza-ard. You get the picture.

Don't own Lost. How many times do I have to tell you?

I worship the ground Charlie walks on. You get the picture.


John Locke was expertly skinning a wild pig. The smell wasn't too fantastic, but he kept his mind on the task in front of him.

"John, when can I go and hunt with you?" Walt asked, cleaning the knives he had just practiced with.

"Hmmm, not until you're older." Locke said, peeling carefully. Walt waited a second.

"I'm older now, can I go?" Walt smiled as he rubbed the golden retriever at his feet.

"Well, perhaps what I meant was, when you're taller than that tree stump." He pointed to a stump a few yards away. Walt ran over and scaled the stump like a monkey.

"Okay, I'm bigger now." He said triumphantly. Locke sighed.

"The answer is still no. Perhaps we'll hunt some rabbit or go on a foraging mission. Something easy to start off with." He said. Walt sat on the stump and patted Victor.

"Now?"

"No."

"I'm never going to go am I?" Walt asked rhetorically. Locke smiled. He heard something behind him and lifted up his knife in readiness. Hurley burst through the bushes gasping.

"What happened Hurley?" Locke asked.

"We need some help."

"We?"

"Yeah, us." Sawyer said following Charlie. Locke sheathed his knife, although reluctantly when he saw Sawyer.

"What can I do you for gentlemen?" he asked.

"We need some help getting some honey; though it's obviously not my idea." Charlie thrust his hands into his pockets stubbornly. Locke looked at Walter accusingly; the boy merely shrugged his shoulders.

"Sure. I'll just go and get some fire. We'll need to smoke them out. Hey Walt, are you up for a little hunting?" Locke called up to the dark boy.

"Yeah!" Walt laughed, jumping off the stump. Victor barked and wagged his tail.

"How cute." Sawyer huffed. Locke disappeared through the trees, going back to the camp for some fire.

"You still owe me 20 grand Hurley." Walter poked.

"Don't poke the pudginess. Anyway, where am I going to get 20 grand from? The nearest ATM?" Hurley lowered until they were eye-to-eye.

"Ask Kate." Sawyer laughed.

"Yeah, sounds about right." Hurley muttered fugitive he thought. He looked around Locke's area of the forest. He saw the boar recently killed then looked down to see the pool of blood and entrails directly below it.

"Dude, that's not cool." And he fainted on the ground, narrowly missing crushing Walter.

"Oh hell," Charlie swore attending to his fallen comrade, "Hurley…can you hear me?"

No answer.

"Earth to Hurley. Wake up."

Still no answer.

"He's not dead is he?" Walter asked. Charlie shook his head.

He leant down and whispered, "Fangirls."

"Where?" Hurley asked, turning to Charlie, "dude! Not so close to my face!" he pushed Charlie away. Walt and Sawyer burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Locke asked. He carried with him a large torch and a bucket.

"Never mind." Sawyer waved. Locke shrugged.

"Let's get going. The hive could have moved on by now." Sawyer nodded and went to lead through the trees this time.

"We're off to see the Wiz-zard…" Hurley started to sing.

"No, no. The song you're supposed to be singing is 'If I Only Had a Brain'." Charlie muttered. Hurley stared at him then grinned.

"Ding Dong the witch is dead." He burst out singing.

"Which old witch?" Walt asked.

"The wicked witch! Ding Dong, the wicked witch is dee-eead." Walt, Charlie, Hurley and Locke sang out together.

"Oh Christ." Sawyer sighed, his eye twitching with the same slow rhythm of a time bomb.


To be continued...

I would imagine Sawyer not joining in as he may not have a good singing voice. Not sure about the others though. I laugh every time i imagine Locke singing in a high tenor.

Or Charlie for that matter. Ha!