Stop Looking at your Shoes and Start looking at the World Around You

Chapter 4: Ghost in the Hallway

I stood there in the mall entrance… waiting. For what? I don't know… I just wanted something to happen. Something that would justify what took place there that day. As if Carver was going to come running right back, tell me that it was all a big misunderstanding, and that we could all be friends again. Yeah, I know, wishful thinking.

Ultimately, I had to pull myself away from the entrance. I was starting to get in people's way. I returned to the spot where I left Tish and Lor. I looked at the pillar but I averted my gaze when my mind drew the horrible scene all over again. I darted my head around, looking for the girls. They were sitting together on a bench not too far away. Tish, though she had calmed down, was slumped over like a wilted flower. Suffering in loss and disbelief. Lor was there for her, comforting her, making hollow promises to give Carver a swift kick in the berries the next time she saw him… she would eventually calm down too.

Few words were exchanged between us. I felt so guilty. I kept thinking about how it was all my fault. I was the one who suggested that we put on this show for him, I was the one who couldn't help him when he tried to open up to me the night before, I was the one who got everyone worked up that morning, and I wasn't able to see the torment in his eyes until it was too late. Everything, everything that I did that weekend boiled down to one simple fact, I failed him.

We decided to head home for the evening. There was nothing left to salvage in that day. I returned to the comfort of my dwelling, to soak in my mother's sage-like wisdom. I never had to explain myself to her, she just knew.

"Tino," My mother said from the other end of the dinner table. "I know that you feel like you've failed him, but it's not your fault. This is something that Caver has to work out with himself."

I looked into the surface of the table, "But I just thought I could… you know…"

"Spin him around to his happy side again?" She said. Which was exactly what I was going to say.

"Yeah, something like that." I answered.

"Listen," she began as she stretched across the table placing her hand on mine. "I don't claim to fully understand Carver's… hobbies. But I know that he must be feeling a void inside from the loss of it all. And although I know your intentions were pure, showering him in what reminded him of his loss just opened up the wound again. It's like when people just get through a messy breakup, it takes them more than a day to get back in the saddle."

"But it just makes me feel so helpless." I said.

"I know it does honey," My mother comforted, "But give him time to himself. You can't force someone to run until the leg is healed. Otherwise, you'll just end up breaking it again. Sooner or later Caver will realize what he's done and come running back. And I want you there when that happens. Alright?"

I sighed.

"Now come on," She said, "eat your dinner before it gets warm."

"Isn't food supposed to be served warm?" I retorted, dangling a long brownish-green stringy thing from my fork.

"It's an old fashioned meal. Before the discovery of fire." She answered sarcastically, "Just eat it."

I responded jokingly with a caveman like "ugh!"

I had a horrifying dream that night. Probably the first true nightmare I've had in a long time. I dreamt that I was running through a series of very dark, decrepit, hallways. Everything looked as if it had been ravaged by fire. But I was not running scared, I was more excited and joyful. I didn't feel troubled by my surroundings because I knew that as long as I had my light, I'd be fine. But it wasn't like I was holding any sort of torch- I was the light. My body, while still maintaining a vaguely human form, was composed of pure energy. I emitted a brilliant white glow with a blue core, my radiance illuminated the hallways like a flashlight. And thus, My gleeful exploration went undaunted. That is, until I rounded a corner to discover the most hideous and frightening ghost you could ever imagine. It was just standing there in the middle of the corridor, staring me down. The image still haunts my mind. I remember most distinctly that his eyes and mouth were like deep, dark, hollow voids. As if oblivion dwelled just beyond his face. I tried to run but as soon as I turned around I smacked right into a wall that wasn't there before. The wall was pure white and glowing, a complete contrast to the rest of my surroundings. At that moment I had realized that my light is no longer illuminating the hallways. I turned back around to seek another escape. But the ghost, whom when I last saw was more than 20 feet away, was now right up next to me. The spectre grabbed me by the arms and pinned me against the white wall with monstrous strength. I struggled to break free but his grip remained solid. All I could do was twist in agony, his palms burned like fire into my arms. He began to stretch his mouth open beyond human capacity, eclipsing his entire face. I could hear the bones and sinew in his skull twisting and cracking in the most sickening and unnatural way. I felt my vision being drawn in the dark vortex of his mouth and then everything went black. That's when I woke up. Screaming.

A few seconds later I heard loud, frantic footsteps in the hall and then my mother's voice on the other side of my door. "Tino? Are you alright? I'm coming in."

She opened the door and ventured in. I was sitting up in my bed, breathing heavily, with beads of sweat on my forehead. My eyes were filled to the brim with terror.

She crossed my room and embraced me. "Oh sweetie, " She said in a soft, sympathetic voice as she cradled my head in her arms. "You had a bad dream didn't you? It's okay, you're awake now. I bet it had something to do with this whole Carver situation, didn't it?"

My eyes stared blankly forward. The image of the ghost would not leave my mind. "Ye- I mean no… I just…I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Well okay," she said, gently releasing me of the embrace, "I won't pry. Get yourself cleaned up and come down for breakfast. It's about time to get up anyways."

The breakfast table was unusually quiet, my mother stood by her word and didn't pry. But I was still trying to fight off the ghost in the back of my mind. Normally, my dreams would have slipped from my memory once I got into my morning routine. But this one didn't just linger, it was damn well suffocating me. I needed to get out and clear my head. I knew that a bike ride would do me a world of good. My mother agreed and sent me on my way.

Not ten minutes after I left, the phone rang, my mother picked it up. "Hello…… hmm?…….. Oh yes Carver's mother, how are you holding up?……… Yes well…… What?… No he's not here, why would he be here?……… No, I think I'd remember if Carver stayed over last night…. Wait no… I'm not lying to you… What?…calm down, what did he……… OH MY GOD!"

I rode my bike fast and furiously, completely unaware of the drama unfolding at home. I was still trying to shake the nightmare from my thoughts. Though my path was aimless, I eventually found myself one the sidewalk in front of the Phoenix Dawn Hotel. I stopped, sneered at it, and was about to ride on. But I only got a few feet before I stopped myself and looked at the building again. Something, some invisible force, was drawing me to it, begging me to venture within, to Carver's door, to my friend's side… if we can still call each other friends. "Mom said to give him time alone." One half of me said. "But I can't just leave him the way he is." The other half of me argued.

A battle of conscience waged in my mind. I stood there for a while, darting my head back and forth between the hotel and the path in front of me, until I finally let out an "Arrge!" and spun my bike around to drive through the front gates.

Despite my single-minded nature upon entering the building, I ended up just standing there, in front of Carver's door, the numbers 95 burning into my soul. I made an effort to raise my hand to knock, but it was like trying to lift the weight of the world. I lost my nerve, spun around in place, and let my back fall onto the door. I rapped my head against the door a few times as punishment for being so stupid. "What am I doing there?" I asked myself.

Suddenly, the door opened. I hadn't realized that banging one's head against a door sounds just like knocking. I jumped off as to not loose balance. It was Carver's sister, she looked as if the world had come to an end.

She studied me for a second than said "You're… Tino aren't you? You're one of my brother's friends, what are you doing here?"

"Um… yeah, I wa- AM Carver's friend… " I stuttered. "I- Is he in?"

She stared at me like I just insulted her, "You mean you don't know?"

"Know what?" I was beginning to feel anxious, the ghost was tightening his grip.

Penny leaned her back against the door frame, not looking directly at me. "He called us last night, said he was spending the night at your place." She explained, forcing the tears to stay behind her eyes.

"But he didn't spend the night at my place." I objected, perhaps I shouldn't have.

"We know that!" she snapped, "We found that out when we called your place a few minutes ago. Mom and Dad went out looking. They told me to stay here, look after Todd, stay around in case he calls or comes back."

I peered behind her into the room. Todd was indeed there, playing with the TV remote like it was a space ship. He was too young to understand the situation… lucky.

The tears in Penny's eyes couldn't be held back any longer, her lip distorted, "My little brother's gone and it's all my fault!" She slid to the ground and began sobbing into her hands.

"Man, what is it with this family, and this doorway?" I thought to myself, the words were so cold that I wouldn't dare let them out. "It seamed like a storm cloud perpetuated over them from this very spot. And I was their emotional sponge. Well… I supposed that this sponge could hold a just little more grief."

I kneeled down beside her, comforted her, and calmed her down enough so that she could speak. I wasn't going to hesitate, stay quiet, or hold back… Not like the day before, I guess I've grown in that regard.

She eventually told me everything that I didn't know about that fateful night. It was odd, in the social circles, high school teens always looked down upon us middle school kids. But for that moment, age and social class meant nothing. I was gradually enlightened to the whole situation. Carver didn't hate us, he hated himself. And he was punishing himself by lashing out at what made him who he is. It wasn't about the shoes, not entirely. Everything became clear, I knew what I had to do. Mom was actually wrong about this, if I were to let this wound heal on it's own, it would become infected and get worse.

I pulled myself away from Penny. "Where are you going?" she pleaded. I knew that she wanted me to stay, misery loves company.

I turned to her with a sense of duty enveloping my entire being. "I have a search party to organize."

End of chapter 4. I know, I know, it was a corny way to end it. But I only write what seems natural to the characters. And have you seen the episode "Taking Sides"? Tino can be very theatrical in his own light. That and when everything became clear to him, his good nature and loyally came rushing back.

In total contrast to the previous chapter, I've actually found this one really easy to write. Mainly because A: The conversations between Tino and his mother just seemed to come naturally to me. It probably stems from the fact that I maintain a good relationship with my own mother. And B: the nightmare sequence was actually, word-for-word, a nightmare that I had a couple of months ago that I took to writing down. For some reason, I felt that it fit perfectly with the events of this story.

Anyways, for those of you who are wondering. This story does only take place in the span of a weekend, just like an episode of the TV series. And in case you're not keeping track, we are up to Sunday morning now. So I can predict one… maybe two more chapters to this story before it reaches its conclusion. Come on, I know you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it, but who really wants to see Carver in such torment indefinitely (you can put your hand down Canti). But don't worry, as the final chapters draw near, I'll take the time to make sure that they are the best that I can offer. And I will probably write another Weekender Fan Fiction after this story, I'm already bouncing some plot ideas around in my head. Well, keep those reviews coming and Later Days.