Disclaimer: I own nothing, I swear.

Dedication: to my friends-who let me use our experiences and their clumsy mistakes in my stories.

Chapter 3

Closets

Lily woke up around 5:00 the next morning to voices coming from the portrait hole. She pretended to sleep so that they wouldn't think that she was eavesdropping. Until that is, she noticed that it was just the Marauders. What are they doing out so late? She wondered.

She heard 2 of them walk up the stairs, presumably Sirius and Peter, then heard someone walk toward her. She started to open her eyes, but noticed that it was James. She immediately snapped her eyes closed for some unknown reason. He draped his cloak over her and leaned towards her. Her heart fluttered as he got closer. He softly kissed her on the forehead. She breathed in deeply as he lingered close to her for a second longer, so that she was able to drink in his scent. He pulled away and left.

Her stomach clenched as she let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding. What am I doing? I DO NOT like James like that! He's like a brother to me! Anyway, I'm not acting any different around him anyway. I just must have eaten something funny last night! That's all. Yes. I just ate something funny. Lily turned over on her side, trying to convince herself of something she already knew was true.


Dear mum,

School has been going great. We had this AWESOME mud war the other day. Lily started it, I swear! And no, I DON'T always blame things on Lily, Mum, they just usually happen to be her fault. (Let me guess. You're laughing right now aren't you? I know you to well.) Rachel almost blew a gasket the other day. And yes. It had something to do with the mud war. I won't go into it. It would be too painful.

Griffindor is going to win the house cup this year, I just know it. We have a great team. No one can get past our keeper, Tim, and with me plus the chasers, we're unstoppable. And yes- I know I'm not supposed to 'count my dragon eggs before they hatch' but aren't I allowed to get excited because we have a great team?

Me and Lil have been pretty busy lately, cause you know we have extra prefect duties, and have to patrol every other night. (Did I tell you we were placed together for patrolling? Yeah; for some reason, people think we 'work well together' dur. We've known each other how long? Of course we work well together.) And on top of that, the teachers are already talking about our NEWT's. Are they crazy? We still have a year to go. I've also been holding practice about every other night, so my schedule is pretty loaded. But don't worry mum, there's still time for pranks! You won't believe what Sirius and I did the other day to this Hufflepuff . . . never mind. I have to go finish a transfiguration essay. Say 'hi' to dad for me. And could you tell him to take it easy once in a while? I'd like him to live a little longer if he doesn't mind.

Love,

James

James got up and started towards the owlery. It was pretty early for a Saturday, so not many people were up. James had woken up and couldn't get back to sleep, so he had decided to write his mum a letter that was well overdo.

He reached the owlery and looked through the wall length windows at the sunrise. He found a clear space to sit and leaned against a stone pillar, breathing in the morning air that streamed in. he remembered when he was little he and his dad used to go fishing. (The muggle way) They would get up before dawn, and be out in a boat just as the sun was coming up. It was beautiful.

James missed those times with his dad. Now that Voldemort was rising, his dad didn't have time for hardly anything but work. James resented him for it, but mostly felt a burning in his soul that wouldn't go away. As soon as he got out of school, he knew that he was going to be out there, fighting beside his father. He didn't want to end up a work alcoholic like his dad was, but it couldn't be helped. He wouldn't just sit there while some loon tried to take over.

James closed his eyes and breathed out. He jumped as someone sat down next to him, so close that their arms and legs were touching. He smiled as he realized it was just Lily.

"Hey Lils" he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear.

"Thinking about your dad?" She asked knowingly.

He looked at her and quirked an eyebrow. "How'd you know?"

Lily giggled slightly. "I know everything remember."

"Oh yeah. How could anyone forget that all powerful Lily knows everything? I must be an idiot."

"Of coarse you are."

"Hey!"

"You asked for it." She settled her head on his shoulder and sighed. James rested his head on hers and closed his eyes. This was where he was supposed to be. He just knew it. It felt so right. No; it felt perfect. Like he could sit there forever and ever and it wouldn't bother him one bit.

"What are you thinking about?" Lily asked him, unmoving.

"Nothing."

"Just as I suspected," she said with a grin.

"Hey! That's not what I meant!" Lily just looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye. She settled back down onto his shoulder.

"Remember when I was spending that summer with you? I think we were about 9?"

"Weren't your parents on a trip to Europe or something?"

"Yeah," Lily said with a small smile. "I remember being so upset that they were leaving me for 2 months."

"Yeah. I remember that. We got into so much trouble that summer." James laughed. His mother probably regretted ever agreeing to take care of Lily that summer.

"Remember Mrs. Callahan? She about fainted when we jumped her fence and ran through her yard," Lily said.

"But those garden gnomes were after us! What were we supposed to do?" James asked innocently.

"Well, she probably wouldn't have minded so much if the gnomes hadn't proceeded to knock down the fence, trample her garden, and scare that cat of hers into hysterics."

James stifled a guffaw at that last comment. "Hey, don't look at me. Sirius was the one that made them angry."

"I can't even remember what he did!"

"Didn't it have something to do with the niffler we found?"

"No . . . I don't think so anyway . . .I think the niffler was a different time . . ."

"Yeah. You're probably right."

Soon the sun was up and they could hear people heading towards the Great hall. They agreed to get some breakfast as soon as James mailed his letter. Charlie, his large eagle owl, was happy to have something to do, and swooped out the window as soon as James had the letter tied to his leg.

"Care to be escorted to breakfast malady?" James offered her his arm and she gladly took it.

"This is nice. Finally getting the respect I deserve." Lily said jokingly

"Well in that case . . ." James took a step away from her, leaving about 2 feet in between them.

"Hey! No fair!"

"You asked for it!" He said in a mocking voice, with a grin.

"Ticklim!" Lily said under her breath, her wand pointed at James. He was soon rolling around on the ground, clutching his sides, gasping for air and letting out small shrieks.

"Please . . . no . . . fair . . ." James said in between breaths. "You . . . know . . . I'm . . . ticklish"

"Of course I know. That's why this was the spell of choice," Lily said with a smirk.

"Please . . . take it . . . off . . ."

"Well, I suppose so." With a swish of her wand James had stopped shaking and had gotten to his feet.

"I'm gonna get you!"

"Not if you can't catch me!" James took a leap towards her, and with a shriek, Lily sprinted down the stairs, James hot on her tail.


"Hi Professor." James said with as much innocence as he could muster.

"Professor . . . we're so sorry . . . We didn't mean to . . ."

"It's ok Miss Evans. Just don't let it happen again. And try to refrain from running in the halls." Professor McGonagall cleaned off her now coffee stained blouse, summed her books into her arms, and charmed her coffee back into her mug which then proceeded to follow her in mid air. Lily and James walked into the entrance hall; laughing, relieved that McGonagall hadn't given them a detention for running into her. Literally.


First plan of attack: Interrogation

"So Lily, what's been going on lately?"

"Ok Sirius; what do you want?"

"I can't just ask how my best girl's doing?" Sirius asked, looking hurt.

"Ok, now I know you want something." Lily turned to face him, her eye brows raised and tapping her foot. Sirius knew that there was no help for him now.

"Well, me and James and Remus and Peter were . . ."

"Get on with it Black."

"We were wondering if we could get some information from you."

"Oh? Information? What kind of information?"

"Um . . . information about those contracts actually . . ."

Then there was a long pause. Until Lily started laughing maniacally, then abruptly stopped and said "you're joking right?" she gave him a smile that said 'like I'd really tell you anything'. She then walked away confidently, like no one could shake her.

"Hey Rachel" Peter said, walking up to her in the library. She was buried under a pile of books at a small table in a corner.

"Oh, hey Peter. I'm kind of busy. Can it wait?" Peter stuttered and looked behind him. A hand appeared in midair, giving him a thumbs up. Peter took a deep breath. "Iwaswonderingifyouwouldtellmeaboutthecontracts."

"Sorry Peter, I couldn't understand you. What did you say?"

"I was wondering if you would tell me about the contracts."

Rachel chuckled. "Smart move James. Why don't you join us?"

When no one appeared Rachel frowned and said: "You don't want to make me mad James. Sirius, I know you're under there too. And Remus as well. If you don't come out from under that cloak now, you know I'll eventually find you later." Still, no one appeared.

"Fine James. Be that way. Peter, I'm sorry you had to come all the down here. Oh, by the way, I know about that vanishing cupboard you guys found in 2nd year. I'd hate to lose a cousin to that thing. You know, I heard of a Slytherin once that accidentally got lost in it. He reappeared in the middle of the Siberian dessert. Had to kill snakes and eat them to stay alive."

James was as pale as a ghost. Rachel knew how much he hated snakes and was clearly using the information for her advantage. James tried to slowly backup toward the door, dragging Remus and Sirius with him. Incidentally, they ended up backing up into a table, flipping upside down, and landing in a heap on the floor. Rachel just chuckled. Peter attempted to help Remus up off of Sirius, who was shrieking loudly about his pinkie toe being crushed by Remus' large elbow. James, still white as a sheet, had backed away from the rest of them, his knees pulled to his chest rocking back and forth, whimpering.

"Great, now he's gone into his freaked out mode."

"Great! This is all your fault you know Rachel?" Remus said with a mock glare.

"Ha ha. Very funny Remus." Rachel sighed heavily "I guess I'll go get Lily." With that, she jogged out of the library and up towards the Griffindor common room.


Her friends had understood that she wanted to be alone, so Lily had spent most of the day by herself. It was nice that her friends weren't crowding her like they usually did on November 7. They normally would suffocate her until she couldn't stand it any longer and would end up screaming at them. Her classes seemed to take longer then usual, and by the time the final bell rang, Lily was ready to spend the rest of the night up on her bed, crying, and avoiding all the sympathetic looks that seemed to surround her; which only made it worse. When she got to her dorm she sat on her bed, and stared out the window.

Finally, she dug out an old photo album from the very bottom of her trunk, crawled under her covers, and gingerly opened the old album. Looking through it for the 100th time, she laughed and cried, memories flooding back to her. After an hour of looking through several more albums, and going through old shoe boxes, she angrily stood and threw the frame she was holding across the room, so that it hit the long mirror that hung on the back of the door. It broke and fell to the floor; shattered.

Lily punched her bed frame, bruising her hand and crying out. Why did you leave me?! You said you'd ALWAYS be there for me! Where are you now then? "Where?!" Lily screamed, collapsing to the floor and banging her fists on the stone. She broke down, sobbing, shaking with fury, love, hate.

Slowly, after sometime, she picked herself up and repaired the shattered frame that had no doubt been broken as many times as her heart, yet looked brand new. Lily flopped down on her bed, drew a shaky breath, and pressed her face down into her pillow, so hard that it almost hurt. Silently crying, Lily fell asleep, to dreams that no one should have to dream.

Rachel went straight up to their dorm, as she knew that Lily would be there. If it was any other day, she would have galloped up the stairs, thrown open the door and bounced into the room. But it wasn't any other day.

Lily rarely cried. She was the type of person that acted tough, smooth, collected, most of the time. But when Lily did show what was under her skin, she tried her hardest to not let anyone see. Rachel knew how vulnerable Lily felt, and as her best friend, she treated her like china.


Rachel eased the door open, peaking in through the crack before creeping into the room and tightly shutting the door behind her. Lily was lying face down into her pillow and was sleeping. Rachel was used to this. Lily went through certain stages each year. She would shut her self off from everyone, then look through all her memorabilia, then get angry, then finally cry herself asleep.

Rachel sat on the edge of the bed, put her hand on Lily's shoulder and griped it slightly, softly shaking her awake. Lily turned over and slowly opened her blood shot eyes. Her face was red and blotchy, and her cheeks were tear-stained. Rachel gave her a comforting smile, went to the bathroom and came back with a cool wet wash cloth. Lily rubbed her face, as if washing the grief away. She then slowly sat up and Rachel gave her a warm hug, and let Lily put her head on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Rachel whispered in Lily's ear.

Lily pulled away and said, "No, but I will be." Lily got up, grabbed a towel, and headed towards the bathroom. 15 minutes later Lily came out, her hair dripping, but looking refreshed. She smiled at Rachel.

"Have a nice shower?"

"Yeah," Lily replied quietly "showers always help. It's as if they can wash anything away. Sadness, grief, horrible black hair dye." She finished with a smile. Rachel laughed. Lily had once tried to dye her hair black because she was tired of her beautiful red locks. And she was joking around, which was a good sign.

"James needs us in the library. He's gone into one of his moods again."

Lily sighed "I guess. He really needs to get over his fear of snakes." She chuckled lightly. Lily rubbed her hair with a towel one last time, so that it wouldn't drip on her shirt, and headed out of the dorm, Rachel trailing her.


"Lily! Thank goodness! James has gone insane! We thought that if you didn't get here soon we'd have to take him to Saint Mungo's! Please help us! He's driving us to drinking!" Sirius took a swig of the butterbeer that he had stashed in his bag that morning.

Lily chuckled. "Sirius, don't be silly. Where is he?"

"He's hiding near that corner over there. By the flesh-eating plant section. Seems to think they've got him cornered." Sirius tried to hide a snigger.

Lily started towards the middle of the Library, while Rachel took a seat at the table that Marauders were sitting at. It was best if Lily took care this little adventure on her own.

Lily walked to the back of the Library and found James sitting in a corner starring off into space. She sat next to him and put her arm around his shoulder. "Hey James," she whispered into his ear. She knew the key thing to get him out of a trance was to make sure he could feel things, smell things, so he would know that his dream wasn't real. He shivered under her touch. Lily took no notice. She tipped her head to the side so that her wet hair brushed his cheek. He jumped at this and turned to look at her. She knew that he could see her, but he wasn't there. It was the way his eyes were glazed over.

He motioned for her to sit in front of him. Soon, she was practically sitting on his lap, James' arms wrapped around her middle, his head on her shoulder, his eyes closed. He was clinging to her, holding her as close as she could get. Lily leaned back, not really minding. She grinned to herself. As much as she hated to admit it, she loved sitting there with him like that. She felt safe, protected from anything that could harm. Soon, they had both dosed off, wrapped in the comfort of each other.


James woke up in the most comfortable position. He was leaning back against a bookshelf, with Lily leaning against him. His head was rested on hers, so that his face was in her hair. His arms were wrapped around her middle, and her hands were resting on his legs. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled. He had no clue how he had got there, but he didn't mind at all.

"Lily," he said in her ear. She stirred slightly and snuggled up to him. His grin only got bigger." Lily, wake up," he said softly. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "You're awake. Good. Any idea how we got here?"

Lily chuckled slightly as she got up and dusted herself off, to his dismay. "You went into one of your trances again. And you know I'm the only one that's able to snap you out of it. "Lily stuck out her hand and helped James to his feet.

"What time is it?" Lily asked. After they had gotten to the front of the library, they could see the windows, and the steadily darkening sky.

"I don't know. We probably missed dinner."

They quickly made their way to the double doors, but were highly disappointed to find that they were locked. Seconds later, the lamps went out. "Damn! It must be later then we thought. And that wacky librarian just installed those timed lamps!"

"What are we going to do?" Lily asked, a hint of panic in her voice. She definitely did not want to have to spend the night in the library alone with James. Normally she wouldn't have minded too much; she and the guys had spent the night out of their dorms before. But with these new feelings she was having, she didn't much fancy being around the object of her nervousness all night in a library.

James looked amusedly at her, his eyebrow raised. "Wow Lily, I thought you loved the library!"

"Hey!" Lily rammed into him sideways, causing him to stumble, almost knocking over a whole book shelf.

James laughed nervously and straitened himself up, but not before shoving Lily gently down another row. Soon they were chasing each other around the library, laughing their heads off and no doubtedly making tons of racket.

Lily had thought she had finally lost James amongst the shelves, but right as she reached the end of her row, James jumped out at her, causing her to scream and fall backwards. When James went to step over her, Lily tripped him. They ended up in a tangled pile with books on top of them. James got up first and pulled Lily to her feet. He kept hold of her hand, pulling her toward the very back of the library.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see in a minute. Suddenly James stopped, and Lily noticed they were right in front of Madame Pince's closet where she hung her cloak and various other things.

"Alohmora" The door swung open, and James pulled open the closet, pulling Lily in with him. What are we doing in a closet? Why would James want to be in a closet with me? At that last thought Lily mentally kicked herself.

"James; why are we in a closet?"

James shushed her. He waited a few seconds before saying anything. "Ok, for this to work we have to be closer." The closet was already really small, so they were pretty close anyway. But James pulled her foreword so that she was practically squished against him. She could hear his heart beating, and breathed on a mix of soap and something else she didn't recognize. She'd give anything to be in this situation any other time, but this was kind of weird. I did NOT just think that! She almost shuddered and shook her head, but stopped realizing that James would be able to feel it.

He looked down at her (he was quite a bit taller than her) and smiled cockily at her as if he knew what she was thinking. He wrapped his arms around her waist and said, "Okay, now step to the right, towards the wall on the count of 3. put your hands on my shoulders. That's it. Make sure we stay in contact. 1 . . . 2 . . ." He griped her tighter and " . . . 3." She stepped with him so that her arm was touching the stone wall.

Lily let out a small scream and James took a sharp intake of breath. Lily gripped his shoulders so hard that she hoped she wasn't leaving a mark. She was afraid that if she let go of James she would go spinning of into wherever they were. So she pulled herself closer to him; if that was even possible. A couple seconds later they landed hard in what seemed to be . . . another closet?


Author's note: that was a really long chapter! I didn't intend for it to be so long, it just turned out like that. Hope everyone likes it! R&R!