Chapter Eleven
Finding Her
Two months as chief of police and Woody felt like his life was going to hell in a hand basket. Not work, of course. He was too professional for that…he had invested too much time and effort to let anything screw up his tenure as chief.
No…it was his personal life…or rather his lack of one. Everywhere he turned, he saw her. He still smelled her on his bed sheets…saw her in his room…
Felt her in his arms.
He thought the feeling would go away eventually, especially the day he came home and found her gone. And yes, he realized he was the one that had told her to go…he just didn't think she would. She rarely had ever done anything he asked.
So why did she have to start now?
They had one night together…one night where he discovered that some things had not changed between them. One night when he re-discovered that he could elicit responses out of her that no other man could.
And one night to remember just how well she could return the favor.
But now, she was back in New York, back to her old life…she was probably getting ready to begin fall semester.
He sat back down at his desk, looking at the pile of paperwork he really needed to wade into. Somehow his heart wasn't there….he kept being drawn to the picture under the glass of his desk. The one he had taken with him when he moved into the chief's office. The one of Jordan on their wedding day. Even though that had been six years ago, she hadn't changed. She was still just as lovely…even if her eyes were sad now. He reckoned he was part of the reason for the sadness.
"Yo, bro, how's it going up here? The air too thin for you yet?" Cal propped against the frame of Woody's door and grinned at him.
"Good morning, Cal. What do you want?" Woody replied, a bitter edge to his voice.
"Well, for one, it's not morning. It's afternoon. And I was hoping you might want to go to lunch. The last two times I've offered to take you, you've said no."
"Don't you mean have me take you to lunch?"
Cal shook his head. "No. I've been trying to take you to lunch for a month. The first time I ended up eating drive-through by myself and the second time Jordan and I went out for Mexican."
"Jordan…" the name rolled off Woody's tongue involuntarily. As a matter of fact, he didn't consciously know he had said it until he found Cal staring at him curiously.
"Miss her, don't you?" Cal dropped down into a seat in front of his brother's desk.
Turning his chair away from his brother, Woody looked out over the city he had vowed to serve and protect. "Yeah," he said in a breathless tone. "I do. I think I always have."
"Then why did you ever let her go in the first place?"
Woody sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know…it's complicated."
"Since when has anything in our lives not been?" Call smiled at his brother…a sad smile that made Woody realize that Cal remembered just how hard both of their lives had been…and while Woody had retreated from the pain by pretending none of it affected him, Cal had wallowed in ways to make him forget it…even if the amnesia was temporary. "So…tell me."
"The miscarriage…after we lost the baby…I felt like I was losing control…that I couldn't protect Jordan or take care of her the way she needed to be. So I began to work harder…make more promotions…have a better income, so that whatever she wanted, I could give her."
"And let me guess…she didn't appreciate it. Women…."
"No…no…it wasn't that. What she wanted, I felt I couldn't give her."
"Which was?"
"Me. Time with me…intimacy. I was afraid she'd get pregnant and miscarry again. And I knew I couldn't handle seeing the grief in her eyes once more…I felt like it was my fault."
"It wasn't. It was just one of those things," Cal said softly, looking at his brother with understanding in his eyes.
"I know that now…but now it's too late…too much time has passed. She has a new life in New York…"
"How do you know?"
"I assume that's where she's at now."
"You know what happens when you assume, Woods."
Woody stared blankly at Cal for a second. "Where is she?"
"Uh-uh."
"What?"
"You heard me. I'm not telling."
"Calvin…I'm warning you. She's still my wife."
"And when I saw her yesterday I promised I wouldn't tell you where she was at."
"You….saw….her…" Woody stuttered the words out.
"Yes…and she's doing quiet well considering she misses you like hell…as much as you're missing her. You both have got to be the most stubborn people I've ever come across…and believe me, I've come across some crazy people in my lifetime. You two obviously love each other. She TOLD me she still loves you. And you just sat right there in front of me and said the same thing. So why the hell are you staying apart?'
"I told you it was complicated…."
"No…you're making it complicated. Intimacy…fear of another miscarriage….stupid stuff, man."
"No, it's not."
"Ah…but there's where you're wrong. In the great scheme of things, it truly is. Twenty years from now, when you're ready to retire…who's going to be the face you look at across the table from you…when you don't have an office to eat dinner in anymore? Who's going to be around to remind you to take your medication? Tell you where you left your teeth? Hold you're hand when you're lonely because the kids are so far away they can't visit every weekend? And further more who do you want to hold your hand then?"
In just that moment, Woody realized Cal had done something his brother wasn't aware of. Somewhere between the last time Woody bailed him out of trouble and right now, Cal had grown up. "When did you get so wise?" he quietly asked his brother.
"I had a good example in an older brother I was lucky enough to have…that and one hell of a good girl that loves me."
"Cal's got a girlfriend," Woody teased in a sing-song voice.
"Cal's got a fiancé," he replied, getting up to leave.
"You what?" The disbelief was dripping from Woody's voice.
"Geeze…you and Jordan….I have a fiance."
"When…and who…and how…?'
"I met her on the job…"
"You have a job?" More disbelief.
"Yes, asshole…a job. I can hold one down. I'm head of security for the research units at Massachusetts General Hospital. I met Dr. Heather Russell in one of the units. She's an obstetrician. And one hell of a woman." Cal's face broke into a huge smile. "And best of all…she loves me for me…not what people think I should be."
Woody stood to shake his brother's hand. "Congratulations, man. I mean…wow…when do I get to meet my future sister-in-law?"
"In a couple of weeks. I'd like for you and Jordan to be at the wedding….and the christening. Think about becoming godparents, okay?"
Woody shook his head to make sure he heard right. "Christening?"
"Yeah. We love each other…knew it was right…and that we weren't getting any younger…it just soft of 'happened', for lack of a better explanation. She's thrilled, I'm overjoyed….excited…Anyway, we're getting married in two weeks. It'll be a quiet ceremony with family and a few friends and a nice reception. I would love to see both of you there."
"Sure…no problem on this end…but you have to tell me how to get in touch with my wife."
"I told you I promised her I wouldn't. You're Boston's top cop. You figure it out."
"But I don't know where to start looking…"
"Ah…but that's the joy of it…love's supposed to conquer all." Cal began to back out of the room. "I didn't use credit cards when I went to see her, so you can't trace them to find her. And forget the GPS thing. For once, Woody, you're going to have to trust your heart and find her the old-fashioned way."
"And how's that?"
"Talking to her on the phone and doing a hell of a lot of groveling. But.., if I know Jordan as well as I think I do, she won't leave you down on your knees for long."
"Really?"
"Nope…she'll have you in her arms the minute you tell her you're sorry and can't live with out her."
Woody grinned and picked up his cell phone. "I sure as hell hope so…"
