A/N: Sorry for the slower update. School started, and with homework, and three soccer games a week from here on out look for updates on weekends, not during the week. To further slow this update down I started feeling sorry for Percy and wrote I'm Sorry. Sorry. I just felt the need to defend him. Moving on, 41 reviews! Amazing! Thanks so much! Let's keep it up!
Disclaimer: Guess what guys! After pestering her to no end J.K. Rowling and I made a deal! Now I own Harry Potter on the 31st of September, April, June, and November! I can't wait!
And now on to chapter six.
Ron stood up in shock. Harry saw him, and tried to comfort him.
"Ron, she was just upset. She didn't mean that." Harry said desperately as Ron began to turn and walk away. "Ron, don't leave, it's ok."
Ron stopped, but didn't turn to look at his friend. "Tell them I got sick or something." He said in a low voice.
CRACK!
Ron rematerialized in his kitchen, and immediately began pacing, running his hand through his hair.
He hated her. How could she do that to him? He did "nothing" as she put it because he placed some value on their friendship. Did she not stop and think about what could happen if they just rushed into a relationship? Did she not stop and think that if something happened their friendship would never be the same again, if they even remained friends at all! Or did their friendship just not mean that much to her?
And she blamed him for her unhappiness. Well if she hadn't kept him guessing for all these years perhaps he would have done something. Maybe if she stopped calling him thick, and saying he had…what was it? Something about a teaspoon and his emotions. Maybe if she had given him some hints about her feelings he would have acted on them.
"Well I'm sorry Miss Granger for not realizing you're madly in love with everyone you put down every single bloody day of your life!" Ron shouted angrily. "If that holds true you must be infatuated with Malfoy!"
He hated her for not giving him any hints.
"You never gave any inclination that you were in any way interested in being more than my friend Hermione, and I can prove it!" He continued to scream.
Ron stomped up to his bedroom and jerked out his pensive. Prodding the surface with his wand he thought of what he needed. "Any hint of Hermione's feelings for me. Any hint of more than platonic feelings." Ron was swirling the contents roughly and he dropped his wand. He reached in to retrieve it and swore as he immediately realized the repercussions of his actions.
He found himself in the common room. There he was, in his hideous dress robes. This must be after the Yule Ball. Hermione was screaming at him and he was screaming right back. Her hair was falling out of that…thingy she did with it and she was livid.
"Well if you don't like it, you know what the solution is, don't you?" She screamed at ugly-robes Ron.
"Oh yeah?" He yelled stupidly. "What's that?"
"Next time there's a ball ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!" She yelled.
That scene evaporated and Ron found himself standing beside the lake. It must have been after the second task. Yes, there he was coming out of the water with Harry and Fleur's sister. As he watched Fleur swooped down on them and kissed Harry and him in turn. Hermione looked absolutely furious.
The next memory Ron saw was similar. It was at the end of fourth year, when they were saying good-bye to Fleur. Fleur said something about her English not being the greatest. Ron didn't care; he was watching Hermione's reaction. As fourteen-year-old Ron stammered, "It's very good already." Hermione took on a look up utmost fury.
After that, Ron found himself watching Hermione, Harry, and his younger self making their way out of the History of Magic classroom. They looked to be in fifth year this time. Yes, he and Hermione were both wearing their new prefect badges. Hermione's expression was cold and unfeeling, and her voice was even more so.
"How would it be if I refused to lend you my notes this year?" She said scathingly.
"We'd fail our O.W.L.'s," said a much younger Ron. "If you want that on your conscience Hermione…"
"Well you deserve it," she snapped at him. "You don't even try to listen to him, do you?"
"We do try," school age Ron continued. "We just haven't got your brains or your memory or your concentration--- you're just cleverer than we are--- is it nice to rub it in?" Ron noticed his younger counterpart's ears were a flaming red by the end of his pronouncement.
Hermione's fierce gaze faltered and her face took on the normal soft, glowing quality it always possessed after one of Ron's compliments. "Oh don't give me that rubbish." She responded.
Ron groaned as he recognized the next memory presented to him. It was breakfast before his first quidditch match. He glimpsed Harry and Hermione rising from the Gryffindor table. Hermione had pulled Harry to the side and was whispering something in his ear. Harry looked confused, but Hermione simply shook her head firmly.
Fifteen-year-old Ron ambled dazedly over to the two, looking quite lost. Hermione promptly said, "Good luck Ron," and kissed him on the cheek. She then turned to Harry, and…wait a moment. She didn't kiss Harry! Ron hadn't noticed this vital piece of information when this memory was being made. How could he have missed that? It was so obvious!
Ron felt a tap on his shoulder. He was confused. No one in the Pensive could see him, hear him, or touch him. That means someone else is in here, seeing his memories! Ron spun around to be greeted by Ginny. Not fourteen-year-old Ginny who was calmly eating her breakfast a few feet away, but a determined nineteen-year-old Ginny.
"You've wallowed in self-pity long enough." She said firmly, and gave his arm a jerk.
The next thing Ron knew, Ginny was standing over him, and he was in a crumpled heap on his bedroom floor.
"How did you know I would be in there?" Ron asked, making no effort whatsoever to get up from his spot on the floor.
"Harry told me what happened—"
"He WHAT?" Ron exploded. He had some pent up rage to sift through and this was the perfect outlet. "I told him to just tell all of you I got sick!"
"And he did," Ginny said, cutting off Ron before he picked up steam. "But he pulled me aside and told me, only me," she said quickly in response to the look on Ron's face, "what happened. We decided I'd be the better one to comfort you right now."
"Did you know how Hermione felt about me?" Ron asked contemptuously.
"Uh, somewhat…I mean, to an extent…" Ginny sunk down to the floor to join her brother. "Yes." She ended quietly, head bowed.
Ron's eyes narrowed. "Then I don't want your help." He spat, breathing heavily.
"Ron, if you think I'm going to leave you by yourself at a time like this you're mad." Ginny cajoled him.
"Out." Ron said, not looking at his sister.
"What?" She said, thunderstruck.
"Out!" He said forcefully, looking her in her eyes this time.
"But Ron," She coaxed quietly.
"I don't want to hear it Gin! Because of people like you and Harry I'm not with Hermione right now! It was probably you who encouraged Hermione to move on with her life, that I was hopeless, a lost cause! Because of people like you I had to find out how Hermione felt about me while I was hiding in the bushes, hearing her say how she would never make that mistake again!" Ron roared, rising to his feet.
"Ron, Harry and I did not stop you from summoning up some courage to simply ask her how she felt. Harry and I did not make you ignore all the signs Hermione was giving to you. Harry and I definitely didn't encourage Hermione to give up on you, although I don't blame her." Ginny said icily.
"Well neither do I." Ron said forcefully. "Why should she settle for me? I was never good enough for her. She always had Vicky fawning all over her. Who needs dumpy, secondhand Ron when you have a good-looking, international quidditch player chasing after you?" Ron said, pounding his fist against the wall.
"Ron, Hermione didn't think like that." Ginny said gently, the temper that had flared moments earlier ebbing away.
Ron didn't care. He no longer hated Hermione; he hated himself. How could he be so stupid? Hermione would never settle for him.
"Ginny, you don't get it." Ron said slowly, enunciating every word. "You're the only girl. Everything you do is new, and exciting, and the best. I have nothing. Nothing defines me."
Ginny opened her mouth to protest, "That's not true! You're--
"I'm what? Best friends with the famous Harry Potter?" Ron said, anger flashing in his eyes.
"Ron, that's not what I was going to say." Ginny said soothingly.
"Listen Gin, I'm the sidekick, not the hero. The hero gets the girl. I'm just second best. I'm always second best. Ron finished, defeated.
"You're my hero." Ginny whimpered, and hugged Ron tightly, trying to keep her tears from falling.
Ron sighed, and hugged his sister back. "Thanks," he whispered.
Ginny looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes. "I love you Ronniekins," she said sweetly.
Ron smiled weakly. "I love you too Ginerva." He said, and kissed her on the top of her head as he broke the hug. "I'm just sick of second best."
A/N: Ok, I promise that at some point this fic will stop being an angst-fest! You're gonna get sick of hearing me say this, but it really is necessary. Sorry! However I did find some amusement in poking fun at D/Hr, and the H/Hr theory that "the hero gets the girl". Sorry if any D/Hr or H/Hr people are reading, those just aren't my style. The Pensive stuff is all from the books. Sometimes I took poetic license when describing blushing and stuff, but the vast majority is directly from GOF and OoTP. I like reviews. Smiles winningly.
