Giving In To Defeat
Chapter 1 - Death
He knew this pain. It was as familiar to him now as rainfall was in the forest. It loomed over everything they did together. It hovered, waiting to pounce in the background of every thought. It was coming. That dreaded day was coming and then would he really leave his friends behind? How could he leave them? Surely not in this state, in the wake of this terrible tragedy. Grief surged up in him again. He found himself missing Gimli but the dwarf was far off now, sent on a miserable journey to deliver this traumatic news. Even if he did sail west, what peace could he find? He looked once again at the somber face of his lifelong friend and felt the uneasiness swim back to him. Aragorn slept so quietly, seemingly peacefully.
"Legolas?"
The soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. How long had he been gazing off into the west?
"Did you sleep well, Aragorn?"
Aragorn didn't answer right away. Almost as if he hadn't realized that he HAD been sleeping at all. "Yes, I did not dream."
The emptiness in his voice took Legolas by surprise. He had expected anger or grief but the total lack of emotion, of caring at all in his words were unbearable. The silence started to stretch on as Legolas struggled to think of something to fill it. His grief was over powering. He could not think and he was not helping. Faced with Aragorn's coldness, Legolas had no strength.
It was in fact, Aragorn who broke their silence. "There is something you should know. Something you should hear from me now, my friend, before it is too late."
Legolas jerked his head suddenly. Fear growing in the pit of his stomach. He could not stand to listen to the fierce indifference in his friend's tone but when Aragorn paused Legolas found that wondering was even worse.
"Prey speak then. Why do you hesitate?"
"I fear for you." Aragorn answered simply.
Anger rose in Legolas swiftly and intensely. "Say what you will for if you care not about Arwen then you should not fear for me."
The second he had said it he wanted to take it back. The look of cold detachment that had settled upon Aragorn's noble face fled and was immediately replaced by raw agony. His eyes filled with tears and he stood abruptly, turning his back on the elf. Shame flew through Legolas and he also stood. However before he could form any type of sentence, Aragorn's voice cut directly into his heart.
"I have walked this earth with you for nearly one hundred years. Together we have seen more death, destruction and horrors than a whole army would see in a lifetime and yet I have never known true pain until last night."
"Aragorn, please." Legolas could stand to hear the terror in his voice no longer. "Forgive my hasty words, I did not mean them."
Aragorn responded without moving. "Yes you did. And you are right. You are always right. I act without thought to the others around me. I think only of myself."
Legolas let anger fill him now, better that then the hollow grief he felt and heard also raging inside Aragorn. He spun the King around and forced himself to meet those haunted eyes. "If I am indeed always right then you will believe me now. You have never acted out of selfishness."
"Legolas." Aragorn now tried to stop his friend. "Wait."
"You try to carry the weight of the entire world and when it is too much for you, you feel as if you have failed. But you never give up." Legolas trailed off at the look of guilt that flashed through Aragorn's face. "You mustn't give up."
"I'm sorry." His words were simple. Were it not for what Legolas saw and heard in his friend, he would have brushed off the apology as nothing. Legolas froze in place. He suddenly understood. The acceptance of Arwen's death so early and quickly, the request to meet with his brothers and to see Legolas alone. How confused Aragorn was when he awoke as if expected not to have.
Oh no.
"No. I will not allow it."
Aragorn smiled, a cold pain-filled smile. "It is too late for any of this. It is done."
Legolas grabbed Aragorn's shoulders trying to hold on to him as if his physical strength alone would undo what Aragorn had done. "You can not! Aragorn. Estel, please! You mustn't."
"There is nothing you can do now Legolas. We're down to hours now."
Legolas pushed him away violently. "How can you do this?"
"It's what Arwen would have done for me."
When faced with that certain truth Legolas fell into silence. Aragorn sat down on the cool, stone floor of the tower, leaning his aged back against the wall. Legolas followed his gaze to the nearby waving banners.
"Gondor is safe. They will grow and prosper under my son and his sons and so on. There is no need of me to stay. The time of the fellowship has ended." Aragorn's eyes found Legolas'. "When Gimli returns I advise you both to sail west."
Legolas shook his head in despair. "I can not leave you. I can not force Gimli to leave here."
"I have given you no choice but to leave me. And as for Gimli, I think you may find him more agreeable to the task than you think."
Legolas moved to stand closer to Aragorn. Closer to the friend he had loved forever and now was soon to lose. "See then, my friend. Once again, you think of everyone but yourself."
Finally Aragorn smiled, and this time there was real joy buried deep within the pain.
Chapter 1 - Death
He knew this pain. It was as familiar to him now as rainfall was in the forest. It loomed over everything they did together. It hovered, waiting to pounce in the background of every thought. It was coming. That dreaded day was coming and then would he really leave his friends behind? How could he leave them? Surely not in this state, in the wake of this terrible tragedy. Grief surged up in him again. He found himself missing Gimli but the dwarf was far off now, sent on a miserable journey to deliver this traumatic news. Even if he did sail west, what peace could he find? He looked once again at the somber face of his lifelong friend and felt the uneasiness swim back to him. Aragorn slept so quietly, seemingly peacefully.
"Legolas?"
The soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. How long had he been gazing off into the west?
"Did you sleep well, Aragorn?"
Aragorn didn't answer right away. Almost as if he hadn't realized that he HAD been sleeping at all. "Yes, I did not dream."
The emptiness in his voice took Legolas by surprise. He had expected anger or grief but the total lack of emotion, of caring at all in his words were unbearable. The silence started to stretch on as Legolas struggled to think of something to fill it. His grief was over powering. He could not think and he was not helping. Faced with Aragorn's coldness, Legolas had no strength.
It was in fact, Aragorn who broke their silence. "There is something you should know. Something you should hear from me now, my friend, before it is too late."
Legolas jerked his head suddenly. Fear growing in the pit of his stomach. He could not stand to listen to the fierce indifference in his friend's tone but when Aragorn paused Legolas found that wondering was even worse.
"Prey speak then. Why do you hesitate?"
"I fear for you." Aragorn answered simply.
Anger rose in Legolas swiftly and intensely. "Say what you will for if you care not about Arwen then you should not fear for me."
The second he had said it he wanted to take it back. The look of cold detachment that had settled upon Aragorn's noble face fled and was immediately replaced by raw agony. His eyes filled with tears and he stood abruptly, turning his back on the elf. Shame flew through Legolas and he also stood. However before he could form any type of sentence, Aragorn's voice cut directly into his heart.
"I have walked this earth with you for nearly one hundred years. Together we have seen more death, destruction and horrors than a whole army would see in a lifetime and yet I have never known true pain until last night."
"Aragorn, please." Legolas could stand to hear the terror in his voice no longer. "Forgive my hasty words, I did not mean them."
Aragorn responded without moving. "Yes you did. And you are right. You are always right. I act without thought to the others around me. I think only of myself."
Legolas let anger fill him now, better that then the hollow grief he felt and heard also raging inside Aragorn. He spun the King around and forced himself to meet those haunted eyes. "If I am indeed always right then you will believe me now. You have never acted out of selfishness."
"Legolas." Aragorn now tried to stop his friend. "Wait."
"You try to carry the weight of the entire world and when it is too much for you, you feel as if you have failed. But you never give up." Legolas trailed off at the look of guilt that flashed through Aragorn's face. "You mustn't give up."
"I'm sorry." His words were simple. Were it not for what Legolas saw and heard in his friend, he would have brushed off the apology as nothing. Legolas froze in place. He suddenly understood. The acceptance of Arwen's death so early and quickly, the request to meet with his brothers and to see Legolas alone. How confused Aragorn was when he awoke as if expected not to have.
Oh no.
"No. I will not allow it."
Aragorn smiled, a cold pain-filled smile. "It is too late for any of this. It is done."
Legolas grabbed Aragorn's shoulders trying to hold on to him as if his physical strength alone would undo what Aragorn had done. "You can not! Aragorn. Estel, please! You mustn't."
"There is nothing you can do now Legolas. We're down to hours now."
Legolas pushed him away violently. "How can you do this?"
"It's what Arwen would have done for me."
When faced with that certain truth Legolas fell into silence. Aragorn sat down on the cool, stone floor of the tower, leaning his aged back against the wall. Legolas followed his gaze to the nearby waving banners.
"Gondor is safe. They will grow and prosper under my son and his sons and so on. There is no need of me to stay. The time of the fellowship has ended." Aragorn's eyes found Legolas'. "When Gimli returns I advise you both to sail west."
Legolas shook his head in despair. "I can not leave you. I can not force Gimli to leave here."
"I have given you no choice but to leave me. And as for Gimli, I think you may find him more agreeable to the task than you think."
Legolas moved to stand closer to Aragorn. Closer to the friend he had loved forever and now was soon to lose. "See then, my friend. Once again, you think of everyone but yourself."
Finally Aragorn smiled, and this time there was real joy buried deep within the pain.
