Hello all. It's time for LOVE and COMMITMENT! Haha. Nah, it's time for Devan torture, don't we all just love it?? Maybe I should warn you that this story is getting weirder and weirder, and it's only going to get even more weird. If you got a problem, don't read. If not, READ!!!! Oh, and reviews are nice.
Ok, I'm in the mood for saying stuff to all my reviewers so here goes…
supershipper-JA-JC-WJ- Oooo, I like your fic idea! Oh, and thanks for telling me I rock. It's fun to rock! Hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
lily-cavanaugh- Not a WJ fan? How could you? Nah, like who you wanna like, it's up to you, but I'm glad that even "you" can see that Devan is evil.
Elisabeth Carmichael- I am so happy that you like the story! You like the WJ romance stories? Don't we all? They are so ADDICTIVE! Lol, my friend needs to wake up and stop having such perverted thoughts? Yep, for sure! She's a nutcase, but a hell of a good writer. I just read all of her fics and pretend each "Devan" is "Jordan"… 15 teeth?? OUCH! I've only had 4, it ain't that bad… except when there's still a nerve that won't go numb and you can still kinda feel it when they pull it out… eek! But I'll let you in on a little secret- in this story, Devan is not getting any anaesthetic!!! She is going to feel each tooth being pulled out… isn't torture divine!
Moonders- Awww, the highlight of your day? That's so sweet! I'm really glad that you love the story, and I'll try not to take too long between updates… but school is going back soon so that might screw up stuff.
Jess- Cause her pain? Oh yeah baby I'm going to cause her pain! You're an alias obsessed freak you know that? Bet you're gonna go see Elektra huh? Lol, remember when we had Ms Thompson for French and we were talking bout all the actors… hahaha!
And last but definitely NOT least…
Amethyst Blizzard- Awwww Libby Wibby Dibby Hibby Jibby, where would I be without you? Probably a lot happier! Nah, you are cooliez! I want your autograph so when you're a famous writer I can be like I KNEW HER!!! Lol, the point is if you are reading this, you were intending to read about my latest chapter of Devan torture, and you like Devan so I'm kinda confused. Ahh, that's right. Peter. Oh, and are you still with Howard? Ha ha I saw our year 7 class photo the other day, you and Lynden are standing next to each other, looking almost identical, and you both look retarded, deformed, and hilariously funny! Hehe, Nigel hair!
Anyways. I still don't own Crossing Jordan or even a soundtrack yet. But I do have many episodes on tape…
And just to let you know, in a couple of chapters time, I am probably changing the rating back to R, which I know is totally illogical, since I am only 13 myself, but just to be safe…
And just one more thing - I swear it's the last thing – What I said about "Gloating" also applies to "Still Frame". Sorry, but just so you don't all wait in suspense for a follow-up.
Sorry, I lied. One more thing- THANK YOU SO MUCH to a certain person who helped me with this chapter... it's your touch that makes this chapter so evil, but I guess you don't fully see that as a good thing, huh? I'm keeping your identity a secret so that your cover isn't blown. Didn't think you would appreciate having your credability as an anti-wj torn apart :-)
Anyways… enough talking. Or should I say- a little less conversation, a little more action…
Devan couldn't believe this. Her friend and her boyfriend were ganging up on her. Well, I guess that meant Jordan wasn't exactly her friend. And Woody sure as hell wasn't her boyfriend. She hadn't meant to intrude, she hadn't know their past together. But hey bitch, nobody cares so just give it up already! Sit down - that shouldn't be too hard, since you're handcuffed to the chair!! - Shut up, and listen to what Jordan has to say!
Jordan was pointing an accusing finger at Devan while swaying slightly back and forth. "So then you just waltz into our lives, like you came straight from cheerleading practice."
Woody smirked at this but kept his eyes on Jordan as she continued tormenting Devan. "And then you think you're just as good as the rest of us at the morgue, and better because you figured out the stupid plutonium thing on your first day on the job. Yeah, really impressive… you thought you were so heroic, but you are like so not. Proof? Who is the one handcuffed to the chair? Ha! What have you got to say for yourself? Huh? HUH??"
Devan cringed as Jordan sneered into her face. She thought of something quick. "Oh, and what is your idea of heroism?"
Jordan gave Woody a coy side-look. "Well, there was once this detective, who shot and killed a man, miles away from home, to save the life of his friend."
"Baby, she wasn't just a friend…" Woody nodded slyly as he glanced at Devan.
"Oh my gosh, can you two just stop the whole 'Story of Jordan and Woody'? Oh, and can you please stop calling each other 'baby'?!" Devan shifted in her chair as she felt her circulation suddenly tightening into a thin line.
Woody looked thoughtful. "Ok then, Jordan is it ok if I call you sexy instead?"
"Sure, sexy."
Then Devan lost it. "Noooooooooooooooooo!"
Jordan just ignored the annoying wailing. "So where was I again?"
"You were in the middle of insulting me," Devan's eyes filled with malice.
Smirking cunningly, Jordan held a finger up to her chin. "Oh yeah. So anyway, it's getting to the stage where I can't even watch Law and Order anymore because the stupid Serena chick reminds me of you!"
Woody nodded, agreeing. "I don't like her."
Devan suddenly lightened up, joining in on the conversation. "Neither, I liked that Claire chick from ages ago."
"I can't remember her. Which one was she?" Woody held up his chin in thought.
Jordan whipped out a picture…from nowhere. "Remember her?"
Woody looked at it. "Oh my God, Sexy. She looks like you!"
"Oh shit, she does!" Jordan exclaimed while squinting hard into the photo.
Devan just stared at her. "Um, hello?? You're both played by Jill Hennessy!"
Woody took the photo from Jordan. "Jill Hennessy looks just like you too!"
"This is hopeless…"
Jordan seemed to snap back to reality. "Anyway, the point is that you, Devan Maguire, are a complete cow. A selfish bitch. A… I can't think of anymore names to call you but you get the picture."
Devan squealed. "But all I want is you, Woody!"
Jordan gave the blonde an incredulous look. "Um, so not happening."
Woody nodded. "Devan, I mean, you can't just intrude!"
"Oooooooooooooo…intruded. Hey sexy, remember that episode?"
Woody gave her a sly look. "As if I could forget…"
Frowning, Jordan leaned her arm against his shoulder. "Well, you did refuse my offer at the end…"
"It's not my fault! You have no idea how much I wanted to stay, but the stupid writers are turning me into an arsehole!"
Jordan gave him a look. "And don't forget Amethyst Blizzard who wrote a post-intruded fanfic where you decided you and I were 'out of time' and you got with Devan!!!"
Devan perked up…perkily. "Ooo yay! What happened between us?"
Woody threw her a cold look. "Nothing. We just ate Chinese."
Devan shrugged. "But I don't like Chinese!"
"Well sometimes you don't always get what you want…" Woody looked serious for a moment.
"Well, baby- whoops, I mean sexy, are you saying you want to get with Devan?" Jordan put her hands on her hips.
"No, I am not saying that at all," Woody suddenly began singing. "L is for the way you look at me. O is for the only one I see. V is very very…"
Devan desperately wanted to cover her ears. "Please, please, just stop singing!"
Woody turned to Jordan with a hurt look on his face. "Hey sexy, I ain't that bad… am I?"
Jordan hesitated. "Um… don't take this the wrong way…"
"You sing like Charlie Carbone in Kangaroo Jack!" Devan screamed.
Jordan looked Woody up and down. "Oh my God, Woody…YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM!!
Devan raised her eyebrow. "Um hello? Woody and Charlie are both played by Jerry O'Connell!"
"Oh my God! You look like Jerry too!" Jordan was on the verge of screaming.
A faint sigh was heard from Devan. "Why do I bother…?"
