--peers around nervously--There's a hit out on me, isn't there? Y'all are plotting my murder even as I'm typing this. Well, I can't say I blame you. All those months...oy. You have to understand, I had to completely rewrite this chapter twice…and then with the attacks of writer's block, and school…man, I can already smell the torches…is that a pitchfork poking me?


Lily was kicking herself. No, seriously. In between kissing James and trying not to faint, she was mentally kicking herself for not figuring two things out sooner.

One, that James Potter was a great kisser.

Two, that she clearly had feelings for him.

Honestly, what else could grabbing a guy and kissing him mean except that you had repressed feelings for him? And what was killing Lily was that this was the reason why she'd always trusted James, why she was always so happy to see him—good Lord, what was wrong with her, that she couldn't have figured this out sooner? If she had, she wouldn't have wasted all that time mooning over Sirius, or fending off other guys—

"James! Ja—Oh."

Lily tore herself away, her face turning bright red in embarrassment. Peter stood there, his round face looking shocked. "Sorry," he stammered. "I didn't—sorry."

James let out a sigh of exasperation. "What is it, Peter?"

"James—you have to come back in—Sirius is about to get murdered, either by the Slytherins or Arabella—it's close to a riot out there, well a small one, but still—"

"Not my problem," James gritted out.

"But—but you're prefects," Peter said.

Lily smiled, and who knew she could smile when she was in the throes of embarrassment? "Last I checked, we were," she admitted.

"So?" James asked, looking put out.

"Isn't—isn't this part of your job?" Peter timidly pointed out.

"I'm sorry, Wormtail, but Sirius can handle himself, and why would he or anyone else listen to me?"

"But—but you're James Potter!" Peter protested.

Lily didn't fancy going back in either, but she gently laid her hand on his arm. "James," she said, "you are the great James Potter. People'll listen to you."

James turned to her, and he grinned slowly. "I'm great, huh?"

Lily blushed a bit—why had it taken her so long to realize how utterly devastating James's smile was?—but said loftily, "Other people's words, I assure you."

"Oh, of course," James said, smirking.

Lily turned red again at the realization that she was flirting. Flirting. Who knew that Lily could flirt? And with James of all people?

Peter cleared his throat. "I hate to interrupt—"

"Then don't," James shot back without looking away from Lily.

"But if someone doesn't stop things, you're going to be playing the Quidditch final without several of your key players!"

James sighed. "Then I suppose we'd better get in there."

And so they went back into the Great Hall, past the students, teachers and ghosts, and traveled the corridors only to find…

…that Peter had been correct: it was a small riot.

Sirius, Frank, Remus, Arabella, Adam, Rebecca and even Diane were squaring off against a bunch of Slytherins. Everyone was yelling and hexes were being thrown everywhere.

"Bloody hell," James said, shaking his head. "What happened?"

Peter looked just as bewildered as Lily felt. "Some Slytherins were talking about the recent attacks, and one of them said that "all Mudbloods," Peter flushed, "—sorry Lily, "deserved to die, along with their filthy families" and Sirius just snapped, and drew out his wand and pointed it at the Slytherin—Avery it was—and ordered him to take it back, and he just laughed and wouldn't, and invited Sirius to go outside and handle things, and before we knew it—this all happened!"

"But what about the teachers?" Lily asked. "Shouldn't we get them?"

James looked horrified at the thought. "No, no! They might suspend them from playing in the final, and just how are we supposed to win without our Beaters or our Keeper?"

Lily sighed. "Well, we're just going to have to go in there, then."

Peter groaned. "Somehow, I knew you were going to say that."


"Are you all right, Frank?" Peter asked worriedly.

In response, Frank burped up a green bubble. Then a silver one.

Sirius shook his head. "That was low. Bad enough they're making him burp bubbles, but Slytherin colors?"

"Oh, and if they were Gryffindor colours, it would be all right?" Diane asked, irritated.

"Well, it would at least be more appropriate," Sirius insisted.

Arabella snapped, punching her boyfriend in the gut. "Nice, Sirius. This was exactly what I wanted to happen tonight."

"Oh, come on, Bella..." Sirius wheedled, holding his stomach.

"Hey," Adam protested, "it's not his fault those Slytherins are utter rotters!"

Sirius nodded vigorously in agreement, saying, "You tell her!" and was rewarded by another punch in the gut.

"Do yourself a favor, Black," Rebecca advised. "Shut up."

James and Lily were walking together, silent and feeling awkward. James cast her another look out of the corner of his eye. What exactly was he supposed to say now?

Great snog back there, hope we can do it on a more regular basis...

I know we're friends and all, but do you mind if I declare my undying love now?

Is it okay if I kiss you again?

It didn't help that Lily wasn't looking at him at all. "Can everyone just shut it?!" he snapped.

Everyone fell silent, staring at him, and he instantly regretted snapping at them. "Let's just get to the hospital wing so we can reverse this," he muttered.

Frank nodded vigorously in agreement.


Once Madam Pomfrey had reversed the hex, she made everyone listen to a fifteen-minute lecture about the dangers of duels, Quidditch, and everything else under the sun.

James didn't pay any attention, instead looking at Lily, who was looking everywhere but at him. Finally, after Madam Pomfrey had finished, he quickly went to her side. "Lily? We really need to talk."

Lily stared at her feet, and what he could see of her face was bright red. "Now?"

James refused to back down. "Yes," he said firmly. "Now."

Lily sighed. "Okay. But not here," she added, glancing around at the crowd of people.

"All right," James said, "how about the corridor?"

"Fine," she murmured. They slipped past an arguing Sirius and Arabella and went outside.

Lily folded her arms and leaned against the stone wall, staring resolutely at her feet. James groaned. Clearly, she wasn't going to help him out here. "Lily…I—" He sighed in frustration. He'd wanted to talk to her in private so badly, and now that they were there, he had no idea of what to say.

And it didn't matter in the end, because Lily finally spoke. "I wasn't planning on—that." She finally met his gaze. "I mean, what happened in the gardens...that was spur-of-the-moment. I didn't think it out at all."

James's stomach plummeted. "D'you regret it?" he asked quietly.

"No," Lily insisted, shaking her head vehemently. "I—I'm just really confused now."

James laughed. "You're confused?"

Lily started pacing. "I've always thought of you as a friend. You—you've always been this great, supportive friend—but that was as far as it went. I mean, I was so busy mooning over Sirius, and then dealing with the realization that I didn't really care about him as much as I thought and that he was into my best friend, and with school, and the team..." James noticed with a little bit of alarm that Lily's breathing was becoming quite erratic.

He grasped her by the shoulders. "Lily," James said, "calm down."

She stared up at him, her green eyes filled with bewilderment. "And then," she continued, "we're the gardens...and all I can see is you, and I'm filled with this bizarre feeling like—like there's something I'm supposed to be doing, and before I know it, we're kissing!"

James grinned slowly. She was adorable. "You know, insanity suits you."

Lily blinked. "You're not mad?" she asked.

Here it was. The moment of truth. James's smile grew wider. "Lily, tonight I got snogged by the girl I've been head over heels over for months. Trust me, I'm not mad, I'm ecstatic."

He let go of her shoulders and let out a long sigh. God, did it feel good to say that out loud. Confession was good for the soul, and why on earth hadn't he said something sooner?

Lily was staring at him as if he'd grown an extra head. "You—you—I—wha-a-at?" she shrieked, loudly enough to bring the castle down upon their ears.

"I like you," James continued recklessly. "I'm crazy about you, as a matter of fact. I think the sun rises and sets on you, and your smile can make my heart race like I've just played in the hardest game of my life. I've analyzed every single one of our interactions until my head hurt. My friends were going utterly mad because I talked about you all the bloody time."

Lily was rooted to the spot, her eyes so wide it was as if they'd taken over her entire face. James started walking towards her slowly, never taking his eyes off her face. "There you have it, Lily. That's the truth. So, what do you want to do with it?"

Lily stared at him, unable to speak.


"Why on earth didn't you tell me?" Lily said finally, stunned. She felt as if she was losing her mind, as if the earth had tilted on its axis. James, her friend James, had just admitted that he—fancied her. A lot. That he'd always fancied her.

She was dreaming. Yes, that was it. This was all some crazy dream. Maybe the Slytherins had spiked her pumpkin juice. Maybe that blow to the head had scrambled her brains, and she was just imagining all of this.

"Well, you were into Sirius," James said with a shrug. He looked a lot calmer than Lily felt, and she envied him. "Didn't really think it was something you wanted to hear," he said, and Lily could hear the pain in his voice.

She hugged herself. The lavender robes she was wearing right then were pretty, but they didn't protect her against the chill of the corridor. "You should have told me," Lily muttered.

"Probably," he admitted, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "So, what happens now?"

"I don't know," Lily said. "I--have no idea what to do now."

"Are--d'you still fancy Sirius?" James asked after a moment in a low voice.

Lily laughed. "No. No, no, no, that ship has sailed." She looked at him and laughed at herself. Everything made sense now. James's attitude towards her, the strange looks he would give her sometimes...it was as if the puzzle pieces snapped together in her head. "I'm an idiot," she declared, both flattered and frustrated at herself at the same time. "It was right there, in front of me, all the signs--and I couldn't see it. I just—I couldn't see it." She paused. "How many people know?"

"Well, the only people I've told are Sirius and Peter and Remus," James said, then added, "And Frank."

Lily knew her mouth had fallen open, and that it was probably making her look like an idiot, but she couldn't help it. "Frank? Frank knew? You told Frank instead of me?"

"I didn't tell him anything," James defended. "No, he figured it out on his own, the bugger."

"And he didn't tell me because..."

"I don't know. Maybe he didn't want to get involved."

Lily glared at the closed door of the hospital wing. "I'm going to hex him into next Tuesday," she muttered under her breath. "That little—"

"Lily," James cut in. "What happens now?"

She blinked. "Didn't you hear me?" she asked. "I'm going to go in there and hex Frank. The Bat-Bogey Hex should work nicely..."

"No," James said in a tone of forced patience. "I mean with us."

"Oh," Lily said inanely. "That."

Her head was reeling. Everything she'd thought she'd known about James and their friendship had turned out to be wrong. Lily didn't even know what to think, much less actually do. "I—I don't know what happens now," she said softly. "I think you're my friend and then it turns out that you're not, I think our relationship is strictly platonic but then it turns out to be anything but—"

"Hold on a minute," James said quickly. "Just—just hold on. Lily, we're still friends. We were always friends. I just happen to fancy you too."

Lily didn't really hear him, she was so focused on sorting out her train of thought. "I've always thought of you as my friend. And now—I have no idea what you are, what we are now."


James's heart skipped a bit at the use of the word 'we'. "If you want time..." he offered. This wasn't exactly how he'd wanted things to go...but it could have gone a lot worse.

Lily still looked stunned. "Yeah, yeah I think—I think I need it. Just to sort all this out." She looked up at him. "And I don't regret it, you know. Whatever happens after this...I'm glad I kissed you."

James's eyes lit up at this. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Lily said, smiling at him for the first time in what felt like forever. "It's not every day a girl's first kiss turns out to be that phenomenal." She bit her lip. "Is—are you okay with waiting?"

James laughed gently. "Lily, I've been waiting for you for most of the year now. I think I can hold on a little bit longer."

Lily didn't laugh, but seized his hand. "Promise me that we'll still be friends?" she asked desperately. "Please, James. No matter what happens."

"I promise," he said sincerely.

Lily nodded, letting out a long breath. "Okay. Okay, then," she said, giving him a quick, shaky smile. "We're...still okay, and I am going to think long and hard about all of this. All right then."

As she went back into the hospital wing, James sighed.

No, that hadn't gone the way he'd hoped.

He just needed to keep reminding himself, it could have gone a lot worse.

It made James feel a little better.

But not much.


"Why'd you drag me in here?" Frank asked.

Lily shut the door behind him, and then turned. Frank grew a little nervous when he saw the irate expression on her face. "Why didn't you tell me how James felt?"

Frank's jaw dropped. "He told you?"

"What?" Arabella asked, from where she was sitting on her bed. "What does James feel?"

Frank turned to her. "Am I the only one with eyes here? Bella, James is absolutely mad about Lily. Has been for months now."

Lily smacked him on the back of his head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Rubbing his head, Frank protested, "I didn't think it was my place!" He turned to Lily in disbelief. "You're seriously telling me that James finally came clean?" He laughed and shook his head. "Well, looks like he finally grew a pair after all."

"All right, that's it," Arabella declared, looking very irate. "Will someone please explain to me what's going on?"

"I kissed James," Lily explained. "And apparently he's fancied me for months, and I subconsciously felt the same way, although I didn't know, and no one felt the need to clue me in, so James has been keeping his feelings quiet because he thought I was into his best friend, even though his best friend was really into you and vice versa, and I really wasn't all that into Sirius after all, but James didn't know, but then we all figured everything out tonight, except it turns out that I don't know anything at all."

Arabella's jaw dropped.

Frank said thoughtfully, "That…pretty much covers it."


"Lily kissed me," James said.

Remus stared at him, then got up and laid his hand on James's forehead. "What are you doing?" James asked.

"Checking for a fever," Remus replied calmly. "Clearly you're delirious."

"He's telling the truth," Peter put in. "Well, I don't know if Lily was the one to start it, but they definitely kissed. I saw them in the gardens, snogging like mad."

James had the satisfaction of seeing Remus's jaw drop.

"Maybe we should check Wormtail's temperature too," Sirius commented, clearly as stunned as Remus. "Just to make sure."


Arabella started to pace. "You—kissed James? You kissed him?"

"Yes, I practically attacked him," Lily groaned, then perked up a little. "He didn't seem to mind though…"

"Oh, trust me. He didn't," Frank laughed, then said thoughtfully, "Guess I won the bet then…"

Lily and Arabella turned wide eyes to him. "Bet?" Lily repeated in a strangled voice. "What bet?"


"Well, it could have gone worse," Sirius said comfortingly.

"That's what I keep telling myself," James admitted.

Sirius looked over at Remus. "You want to help me out a bit, mate?"

"Can't," Remus said mournfully. "I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to pay Diane…I was convinced that James was going to make the first move…" He glared at James. "Dammit, James, you're in bloody Gryffindor! Where's your courage!"

James stared at him in horror. "Oh, for the love of Merlin, not you too!" he cried.

Remus looked bewildered. "What?"

"Moony, you traitor!" Sirius declared, throwing a pillow at Remus's head, which he easily ducked. "How could you?"

Remus made a face at him. "Oh, please. You'd have done it too if you'd thought of it."

"Would not—" Sirius paused. "Okay, yeah, I probably would have."


"How could you!" Arabella yelled.

"Hey, it was Diane's idea, not mine!" Frank protested.

Arabella threw a pillow at him, and Lily whacked him on the arm. Hard. "Frank Longbottom, you—you rotter!"

"Hey! Diane's idea! Not mine!"

Arabella threw another pillow at him. "You are not going to collect any more bets, do you hear me?"

"But, Bella," Frank whined, "This isn't fair!"

Arabella hit him on the head again. "Fair, Franklin Issac Longbottom, is not making bets on your friend's love life! Fair is not taking advantage of said friend's trust to make money!"

Frank, even though he was quite a bit taller than Arabella, cowered. "It was Diane's idea, and it wasn't like I was the only one making bets. And the only thing I was taking advantage of was Potter's complete and utter lack of guts when it came to Lily." He straightened when it finally appeared that Arabella wasn't going to hit him again.

So Lily hit him.

Arabella turned to Lily. "If it's any consolation, I don't have any bets on your love life," she reassured her.

"You're probably the only one," Lily moaned, and then hit Frank once again. "No more bets! This bet and all future bets are officially canceled."

"Fine," Frank said hastily, not wanting to be hit again. "I'm fine with that. So, what happens now?"

"Well, I'm going to try to figure things out," Lily said. "Try to work out if James and I would just be better off as friends or…as something more." She pointed a finger at Frank. "And no talking to James about this," she ordered. "I want to discuss this with him myself, when the time's right."


When Frank finally got back to the boys' dormitory, all the Marauders stared at him. "All right, Longbottom," Sirius said. "We want confirmation. Did Evans really snog Prongs here or not?"

"She did," Frank said, "but since I had to open my big fat mouth, I can't collect on my bet with Diane."

"You too?" Remus asked in sympathy. "Your girlfriend's going to be rich after tonight… I bet on the wrong person making the first move. Did Lily tell you what she was planning?"

Frank snorted. "Are you kidding me? No, I was just betting that there was no way Potter was going to make the first move tonight. I had no idea Lily was going to do that."

"Well, can you tell me what she's going to do next?" James asked eagerly. "Just to see where her head's at."

Frank shook his head. "Oh, no way," he said cheerfully. "Can't oblige you there. No, my advice-giving days are at an end."

Everyone stared at him. "Excuse me?" James managed at last.

Frank sighed. If he had known the disadvantages to rooming with the Marauders, he would have asked to be sorted into Hufflepuff. "James, you know I can't talk about it," he said.

James stared at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? You've been giving me all these cryptic comments, these knowing glances...and now, when I could actually use some of your bizarre help, you're withholding it?"

"Pretty much," Frank said, shrugging out of his robes and changing into his pajamas. As he struggled with the buttons, he patiently explained, "James, Lily's my best friend and she wants me to keep my mouth shut. Therefore, I'm keeping my mouth shut for my own safety. When the time's right, she'll talk to you."

James groaned in frustration.


"I hope you're happy," Frank grumped to Diane at breakfast the next morning. "Lily and Arabella gave me so many bruises last night….you have no idea."

"Aww, poor thing," Diane commiserated. "I feel rather bad now…"

"Bad enough to return the money?"

"Do I have to?"

"No, you don't," Lily reassured her as she sat down at the Gryffindor table with Arabella. "Just please, no more bets."

"No problem, Lily," Diane reassured her. "Really it was all just in fun, and only with Remus and Frank. Honest."

Lily sighed with relief. "Well, that's something at least."

Frank looked at the two of them in shock. "Excuse me," he said at last, "but where are the hexes? The yelling? At least hit her!"

Lily looked at him. "Why should I?"

Frank was dumbfounded. "That's what you did to me!"

"Well, that's different."

Frank sulked. "Hypocrites," he muttered, casting dark looks at all of them.

At that point, the Marauders came to the table. "Hello, Lily," James said quietly as he slid into the chair across from Lily.

"James," she said just as quietly.

James cast a glare at their friends, who were staring avidly. "You can stop looking now, it's not like you're in the bleedin' zoo."

Everyone quickly stared at their plates, and Lily laughed. "They mean well. I think."

"I think we're their only mode of entertainment," James admitted wryly.

Lily laughed again, then stared at her plate. An awkward silence started to creep up on them.

"Would—would you like to…um…help me study?" James asked at last. "The O.W.Ls are coming up…and—well, I'm a little unprepared."

All of the Maruaders immediately broke out into coughing fits. Frank stared at James. "James, you don't study at all. You're completely unprepared for the O.W.Ls."

James blushed a little bit, but grinned at Lily and said, "All the more reason to get help, then."

"Okay," Lily said quickly, smiling awkwardly at him. "Yeah. I'd like that."


Lily threw the red sweater back in her closet. "I have nothing to wear!" she complained.

"You're studying," Arabella pointed out. "In the library. That's not exactly the most romantic spot. Lily, you've never been this nervous about your appearance, not even at the ball."

"That was different," Lily insisted. "I didn't know…"

"That James was ga-ga for you?" Arabella finished brightly. "Lily, he's been crazy over you for months, even when he's seen you all sweaty and exhausted and disgusting from a game. If that doesn't scare him off, nothing will."


Lily couldn't concentrate.

This was new for her. She could always concentrate during studying.

But…well…James…he just smelled so good. Not that he was doused in cologne, Lily would have hated that. He just smelled…nice.

And his hair looked very soft. It was soft. Lily had touched it occasionally, and wondered if it would be breaking the rules of their agreement to do it again. Probably.

"All right, Lily. Quintapeds are found only on...."

But she'd touched his hair before. Maybe she could do it again...but was she allowed to?

"Lily?" James waved a hand in front of her face. "Are you listening?"

And since Lily had clearly lost her mind and any control over her mouth, she said, "No, I was distracted. By your hair."

"Oookay," James said slowly, lifting his hand to flatten his hair. "I know it's pretty wild—"

"No, I mean—I like your hair." Lily closed her eyes in frustration. Could she sound like any more of a twit?

James grinned. "Well, I like your hair too. It's a lovely color."

Lily made a face. "Really? I've never liked being a redhead."

James reached out and stroked it gently. "Well, I think your hair is lovely."

Lily's eyes grew huge at the touch. "Oh. Er…thank you?" Silently willing her breathing and heartrate to return to a speed even approaching normal, Lily said desperately, "Um, what were you were asking me about Quintapeds?"

"Where they're from," James said smoothly. It would be just her luck, Lily thought furiously, that James would not be all a-twitter now that she'd finally wised up and was all a-twitter.

"Oh, well, they're from…" Lily trailed off. Lord, his eyes were lovely. Such a nice shade of brown…very easy to get lost in…

Brown eyes that were crinkled up with laughter. "What's so funny?" she asked.

James grinned charmingly at her—why was everything James did now utterly charming?—and said, "You."

Lily sat back in her chair and pouted at him. "I bet you're getting such a kick out of this, aren't you?"

James's grin just grew wider. "Oh, absolutely. After all those months of not being able to concentrate on anything, not even Quidditch, all because of you—I think it's only fair that you suffer a bit too."

"Is that so?" Lily asked, leaning in across the table. A rather wicked idea had just occurred to her.

James's eyes widened a little as his gaze went down to her lips. "Yes," he said faintly. "That—that is so."

"Hmm. I see," Lily said softly, and bit her lower lip as if in concentration. James swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "You know what, James?"

"What?" James's voice had grown even more faint.

"I think…that we should conduct an experiment," Lily declared.

James swallowed again. "Oh? What kind of—"

And like a flash, Lily closed the remaining distance between them and kissed James right on the lips. The kiss lasted for only a moment, but when she pulled back, she was pleased to see that James's eyes were unfocused and his breathing labored.

Smiling serenely, Lily started packing her things while James tried to recover.

"What?" James demanded, getting back his power of speech, "was that?"

"I told you," Lily said smugly, "an experiment. To see if the Yule Ball was a fluke."

"And?" James asked as Lily started to walk away.

Lily grinned at him over her shoulder. "I'll let you know."


"You…tease!" Arabella shrieked in the dormitory that night. "I can't believe you! Snogging James in the library of all places—"

"It wasn't a snog," Lily protested, feeling rather proud of herself. "It was just a kiss." She giggled. "I can't believe I did it either," she admitted.

"And?" Arabella asked eagerly. "Was the Yule Ball a fluke or not?"

Lily smiled mischeviously. "Definitely not a fluke."

Arabella laughed and flopped back onto the pillows. Just then, Frank walked in.

"Lily," he said, folding his arms and mock-glaring at her, "just what are you doing to poor Potter?"

Lily grinned. "Nothing."

"Hah!" Frank scoffed, but there was a twinkle in his eyes. "The poor bloke doesn't know which side is up right now, thanks to you!" His stern face broke out into a grin. "That must have been some kiss."

Lily smiled dreamily. "It was."

Karen and Denise burst into together, as they usually did. "We just heard," Karen gushed.

Lily's eyes widened in alarm, and she asked warily, "Heard what?"

"Is it true?" Denise asked eagerly. "Did you really kiss James Potter in the library?"

"It's all over the school," Karen put in.

Lily's jaw dropped. "Oh, bugger," she groaned in frustration. "Can't a girl have any privacy in this place?"

"Not when she's snogging someone in the library," Frank put in helpfully, and ended up with a faceful of pillow for his efforts.