Chapter 6: Hearts
Luke was being stoic. I sat across from him in the waiting room while he filled out paper work. He was so tense that it was hard to tell if he was really sitting in the hard, plastic chair or just hovering there. He hadn't looked up in five minutes, even though I was blatantly staring at him. Every once in a while he would scribble something on the form or flip the page and purse his lips, but he never looked back up at me.
On our way to the hospital Luke's father had come to for a little while. He was groggy and not quite sure about where he was or what was going on. He just kept asking if Luke knew where his wife was and if she was okay. Luke kept his eyes on the road, his jaw tightly clenched, while I spoke hushed reassurances and held his father back to keep him from grabbing on Luke and crashing the truck.
Two men had rushed to the door when we pulled up. They put Luke's dad on a stretcher and wheeled him quickly out of sight. Luke hadn't said more than three words to me since then, and had barely even acknowledged my presence.
A couple of minutes went by and his pen remained frozen, motionless, above the paper. He sighed and leaned his forehead on his fist. I reached over and put my hand on his knee. "Luke?"
He looked up, startled. His blue eyes were wide. "Hwah...?"
I tried to speak softly. "Luke, can I help you with anything? Can I get you anything?"
"I can't remember my grandmother's middle name," he stated, looking at me out of a haze.
I tilted my head to get a better look at his lowered face. "What?" I asked. "I don't think that that's really going to matter Luke."
"No! It does matter. Look, they ask for it right here." He showed me the paper, pointing violently with his finger. "It's right here on this Family Medical History form. I can't remember my grandmother's middle name. What if someday I can't remember my mom's middle name?" His voice was hushed but his eyes were still wild, "or my dad's middle name?"
"Oh, Luke," I tried to soothe him. "Don't worry. It's going to be okay."
"You don't know that," he snapped at me. "Don't talk about things you know nothing about." He stalked off with the papers.
Tears stung my eyes. I got up quickly to find a pay phone, fumbling through my purse for some change. The phone rang six times. Come on Dad. Wake up, I thought. It rang four more times. Please, Dad...
"Mhello, " he mumbled.
"Dad?"
He must have heard the tears in my voice. "Rachel. What's wrong?"
"Dad," I paused, trying to think of how to phrase this. "I'm okay, but I'm at the hospital, and I need you to come pick me up."
"You're at the hospital? Or you're in the hospital?"
"I'm at the hospital. It's not me, I swear, I'm fine. It's Luke's dad." I took a deep breath. "We were walking back from the movie and the lights were still on at his dad's store, so we went in to look, and his dad was passed out, and I helped Luke bring him to the hospital, but I don't think he needs me anymore, so I need you to come and get me. Please Dad, I just want to go home right now."
"Okay, okay, calm down sweetie. I'm putting my shoes on right now. I'll be there as quickly as I can."
I took a deep breath and tried not to let him hear me sniffle. "Thanks Dad," I whispered. "I love you."
"I love you too sweetie. Sit tight, I'll be right there. I promise."
"I know. Bye Dad."
"Bye baby."
I really was crying now, so I slipped into the ladies room. There was no one else in the room so I locked the door. I leaned my back against it and sank down to the floor, my head on my knees, and sobbed through deep, ragged breaths. I tried to make my heart understand what my brain knew: it wasn't me he was mad at, he was concerned about his father and at his wits end with worry. It hurt for him to yell like that, but I had to be strong for him, that's why I had come in the first place, that's how I wanted to help.
I let myself cry for a few minutes, took a couple deep breaths for strength, then got up and splashed some cool water on my face. I walked back out to the waiting room slowly, trying to steady myself for whichever version of Luke I would encounter. As soon as I turned the corner though, there he was.
"Rachel! I've been looking for you."
"I'm sorry, I went to the bathroom."
"Oh," he said. "Well I just talked to the doctor. He's going to be alright."
I told you so, I tried not to say out loud. "That's wonderful," I told him, my voice a little flat.
"He said Dad suffered heart failure because of...dilated cardio...," he looked at a piece of paper he had, "cardiomyopathy. They don't know yet when he'll be able to come home, but he'll be okay."
I nodded and tried to look at him like nothing was wrong, but it must not have worked.
He sighed and shuffled his feet. "I'm sorry about how I acted earlier. I was just...I was under a lot of stress."
"I know," I said quietly. "I understand."
"I really am sorry though. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You've done nothing but help me."
I took a deep breath and looked at him now. "It's okay. Really."
He took a step closer to me and held my hand. With his other hand he pushed a curl off my face, his fingers lingering on the back of my neck. I could barely hear him, but I knew what he said. "Thank you," he whispered. Then his lips were on mine, ever so slightly, incredibly soft and gentle. And as quickly as it had begun it was over. We were standing there staring at each other again, like two idiots. "Do you want to go get something to eat?" he asked finally.
"Oh," I remembered to breathe again. "I can't actually. I, um, called my dad. He's coming to pick me up."
He looked a little hurt. "Oh, alright, well I'll sit with you until he gets here."
I rubbed his arm a little. "Thanks. You know...I can stay if you want."
"No, no, you should go. I need to call Liz, and there are some other people who can come and help."
"Okay. If you're sure."
"I'm sure. Come on, let's go sit down."
He led me back over to the plastic, waiting room chairs and we sat with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder.
Maybe all of our hearts would be okay after all.
