1870, where all is garish and nearly nude
Hannibal Rehearsals
Carlotta: sings Blahhhhablahhha BLAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
Everybody plugs their ears, including the stupid poodles. A mirror breaks
Conductor: Ah, yes, that was beautiful. Now go take a break before you kill someone. We have company!
Firmin and Andre enter. A chorus girl drapes chains around Andre's neck
Andre: Thank you all. I especially love opera as one of the, ahem fingers chains, fine arts.
Old Manager: These two have made a vast fortune among the crap business, no?
Firmin And Andre in unison: Junk, I mean, scrap metal, if you please.
All: Whatever. Junk is junk.
Carlotta: Velcome, ewe new meat! Did ewe laik mah singing?
Both shuffle toes and look down.
Carlotta: Ooh assed ewe anyhoo? Just bekaze I'm so high strung, I vill not be singing! Toodles.
Conductor swoons. Andre and Firmin automatically start kissing Carlotta's ass
Madame Giry: Oh, good idea has I. Christine Daae could zing eet, no?
All: thinking where the hell did she come from?
Conductor: 'K. Go on, kid. Wow me.
Christine sings her unnaturally pretty song. Mirror repairs itself
All: Dude…
Christine: thinks wow. Those lights are very SHINY!
The set changes from rehearsals to the gala, somehow. No wasting any time with Mr. Shumanner, is there?
Christine finishes her song. Everybody claps. Blahddy Blahddy Blah.
After the Gala, with people just standing collecting dust behind the scenes.
Meg is still wandering around in her tutu, looking for Christine. Goes down to the church with the creepy pictures
Meg: Christine? Where are you? Mom wanted me to bring you some chicken wings.
Sees Christine praying, drops chicken wings
Meg: Oh, you were great tonight? Tell me, how did you go from sucky to sensational? Thinks I have been watching too much daytime TV. Listen to me and my catchy phrases!
Christine: Meg, I told you before. My dad died and he came back as an angel of music and he is teaching me! What, are you stupid or something?
Meg: looks very carefully at Christine and smells her breath Right….
Leads her away
Meg: thinks Geez, what has she been smoking?
