I'm so glad people like mah work. Personally, I find my humor to be stupid, but hey, that's just my issue. Enjoy. Wait, an explanation is necessary. The phantom was not in the last chapter because he was busy poking sleeping drunks with a stick. I just had to say that! Note- I do not own Dashboard Confessional's song "Vindicated". That's there for you drips to love to obsess over that stuff. Oh, btw, the stage commands are written in italics and the dialouge is normal.
In Christine's dressing room post gala. You know the story.
Raoul come into Christne's dressing room with his Mardi Gras float of flowers
Raoul: Little Lotte let her mind wander. Little Lotte thought, am I fonder of dolls or shoes or other sorts of stupid crap?
Christine: Raoul… Those picnics in the attic?
Raoul: Feeding each other chocolates as I read to you and looked up your skirt?
Christine: What?
Raoul: Nothing. Erm, how are you? You sure sang pretty tonight.
Christine: I'm fine. I missed you. Oh, by the way, the angel of music visited me!
Raoul: ooooooooooooookay… While you sober up, I'll get my carriage and we'll go to supper and I'll look up your skirt more!
Christine: What?
Raoul: Nothing… just be ready, babe slams door
Christine: Geez, what a tool.
All the lights go out. Very PsychoeyChristine: Hmm, I wonder if this lace rag from Victoria's Secret is fine enough to wear to a music lesson with my father…
Phantom: God, Daddy issues abound!
Christine: Who said that? Was it you, father?
Phantom: … Sure, why not?
Mirror opens. Creepy smoke pours out
Christine: Ooh, shiny!
Phantom steps out. Puts out his cigarette on a tapestry
Christine: Is it really you?
Phantom: Tcha. C'mon, let's get a move on.
Christine: Huh, am I really to go through a hole in the wall with a guy Leroux said wastwice my age? Sure, why not?
Phantom lead Christine through that weird hallway
Christine: Wow, those arm thingies sure are strange.
Phantom: Yeah, but what can I say? I'm a fiend for Pier 1.
They come to the cute little boat
Phantom: Hey, I like your, ahem, dress
Christine: I'm sure you do. Hey, I have a question. Are all angels hot thirty year olds?
Phantom: Uh, um, sure, let's go with that.
Christine: And do they all have bubble gum on their shoes and wear obscene amounts of AXE and hair gel?
Phantom: Most of us checks shoe. The frat parties are a riot. Y'know, you ask too many questions. Smells clothes, feels hair
They come to his little burrow, erm, house
Christine: whoa. So what kind of rent do you pay for a dump like this?
Phantom: Ok, that tears it. Begins singing his bore-me-to-tears song
Christine falls asleep, snoring like a lumberjack
Phantom picks her up and puts her in that hideous swan bed
Phantom: This shouldn't seem to alien to her, waking up in a strange man's bed. Oh well, nothing to do now but go poke sleeping drunks picks up stick
Christine wakes up hours laterChristine: Wow, I like this bed! And where did that revolting little monkey box come from?
She walks out into the main chamber
Phantom: sings Vindicated! I am selfish, I am wrong! I am right, I swear I'm right, swear I knew it all along! And I am-
Turns off Ipod
Phantom: Mornin'. Want some coffee? I had to go miles to Starbucks to get you a decent cup!
Christine: No thanks. I like hot cocoa better. Hey, mind if I touch your face?
Phantom: …Sure, why not? Knock yourself out.
Christine is like petting his face. I find that scary
Phantom: That feels good .foot starts thumping
Christine: Oh, like you never saw this coming Pulls off his mask
Phantom throws a bitch fit
Christine: Wow, remind me at Christmas to buy an extra gift for that bug up you ass. Touchy, touchy!
Phantom: Sorry. Now, we must return! Those two fools who run my theater will be missing them!
Christine: Don't you mean me?
Phantom: No, I said them…
Wow, that just had to be the dumbest thing that I have ever written!
