Authors Notes: A huge thanks needs to go to my betas, iheartbridges and ecouteuse for their work on this chapter. They both helped to take this chapter from a jumble of words to a coherent piece of writing that I can be proud of. You could never annoy me ecouteuse, even with that evil grin of yours. And bridges, I told you I'd put up a billboard in your honor for all your help...I'll get right on that tomorrow, I promise.
Disclaimer: Yes, Amy owns them, but I still love them.
Chapter 13: Pebbles
I heard quick, heavy footfalls on the stairs and then Dad knocking on my door.
"Rachel! What's going on? Can I come in?"
I pulled the pillow off my head and sat up on the bed. "Yeah," I answered, afraid that he would break down the door otherwise, with the sheer strength of his worry.
Breathless from running up the stairs, he came and sat down on the bed next to me, looking serious. "What in the world was that about?"
"It's nothing, I just had a bad night."
His look told me he knew better than that. "You were at the Homecoming game, right?" I nodded. "Was Luke there?" I nodded, more slowly this time, trying to hold myself together. "Was he there with someone else?" My face crumpled as I nodded again.
"Oh Rachel," he pulled me in to his shoulder as I started to cry. "I...I don't know what to tell you, but I'm sorry." I hiccupped into his shirt. "It's times like these I wish your mom was here to talk to you." I hiccupped again.
"It's okay," I whispered. "You're doing a pretty good job."
He smoothed my hair. "Thanks sweetie." He held me for a little while, until all of the tears subsided. "Are you okay now?"
"Yeah, I'll be alright," I sighed.
"Okay, well I'm going to go to bed. You should too." He rumpled my hair, stood up and stretched. "Do you want anything? Water? Ice cream?" He knew me well, but I wasn't myself tonight. I shook my head. "Okay. Well, good night sweetheart. Sleep well," he emphasized.
"Good night Dad. I'll try," I smiled weakly. He kissed the top of my head and shut the door quietly on his way out.
I sighed for the millionth time that night and flung myself back on the bed, covering my eyes with my palms. I pressed deeply on my temples in a vain attempt to press out all of the bad things that had happened lately. How could Luke be so stupid? The more I thought about it, the more furious I got.
I heard a branch knock against my window in the wind. Then I slowly remembered that there wasn't a tree that close to the house. I pulled myself out of bed just as I heard another knock. I realized it was a pebble. My tired brain took a minute to figure out who it could be, but then I realized it must be Luke. I couldn't see into the darkness, but I knew he would be able to see my angry face. I pulled the curtains shut then stalked across the room, turned out the light and flopped back on the bed.
It was quiet for a moment, but then I heard another pebble hit the glass, then another, and another, coming more quickly now, with greater urgency. I was starting to worry that he might wake up Dad, so I swung my legs over the side of the bed and got up to tiptoe downstairs.
I opened the door quietly and stepped out onto the porch. Immediately chilled by the autumn night air, I wrapped my arms around myself. When my eyes had adjusted to the light I saw him, still on the lawn, about to throw another stone.
"Luke," I hissed. "Stop it."
His head snapped towards me and he jogged over in a tipsy sort of trot. "Rachel!" He bounded up the stairs and enveloped me in a giant hug. Surprised, I remained stiff in his arms. He smelled like whiskey, but he was warm and soft.
I gathered my strength and pushed him away. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Rachel...I...I wanna stop this." He looked at me sideways and cupped my face gently. "I miss you."
I stepped back and away from him. "No Luke. It's not that easy. I don't even understand where this is coming from. You ignore me for weeks and now you're here telling me you missed me? I don't get it. I don't get you."
He swung his arms around, suddenly irritated. "Oh, like you're that easy to understand?"
"How hard is it to understand that I'm a little wary of sudden hugs from the person who has ignored my existence for weeks?"
"No, that's not what I meant. How could you tell everyone such private things. I mean, you knew what I was going through...with my dad and Liz..." his voice faltered a little. "I didn't understand how you could betray me like that...give me more things to worry about, more things to be embarrassed about."
"Why would you believe I would tell someone about what we did together? Who would I have told anyway? I spent the whole summer with you, who could I have talked to?"
He stuttered for a moment, surprised by the onslaught and not quite able to process it all in his drunken state. "Well I don't know. Don't you have girlfriends that you gossip with and stuff?"
"No Luke. I don't. I have my dad and I had you. Now I just have my dad."
"But you can have me again," he whispered, a giddy, confused grin on his face.
"Don't you have any idea how embarrassed I was? Don't you have any idea how lonely I've been since school started? Why should I think it won't happen again?"
He stared at me for a moment, seemingly trying to compose an appropriate answer. He turned around and leaned his head on his arms against the porch rail. I stood perfectly still except for a shiver when the wind blew. I pondered going over to see if he was okay, but thought better of it. When he stood up again his entire demeanor had changed.
He looked at me solemnly. "I'm sorry," he said simply. "I don't know why I listened to everyone. I just got caught up in everything on that first day, and it was easier to believe that you had talked about it, than to imagine that someone else could have...you know..." I nodded. "I tried to track down the rumor for awhile but it kept going in circles. And then...I don't know...I had school and the team, and my dad and his store, and Liz, and I just...I'm a jerk. I don't know. I guess I just wanted to forget about all my problems, you know...so I didn't have to deal with them." He paused. "You could have come to me too you know. You could have told me."
"I didn't feel like I could." He was waiting for an explanation. "I was just...too hurt, and too scared. I didn't think you ever wanted to see me again after the way you walked out of the cafeteria like that."
"I'm sorry about that." He swayed a little and leaned back on the railing.
"How do I know that the next time something comes up you won't just cut and run again? How do I know that you trust me?"
He sighed and looked at me with a mixture of longing and sadness. "I missed you," was his answer.
"I missed you too," I whispered.
"Truce?" he asked.
No, not so fast, I thought. "What about Carrie?"
"What about Carrie?"
"You were kissing her tonight."
"She kissed me." He shuffled his feet.
"But you kissed her back."
"I was drunk. I still am drunk."
I shook my head in disbelief. "So nothing you do should have any consequences if you're drunk? What about this conversation then...if you're drunk now?"
"That's not what I meant."
"Then what do you mean, Luke? Are you in this relationship or what?"
"I want to be. Rachel, I swear. Carrie means nothing to me. Once I actually realized that you had probably done nothing wrong, I thought I had already lost you. I thought you were out of my life for good...until I saw you there tonight. But the look on your face...it showed me that I still meant something to you. That you still cared and maybe there was still a chance for us."
Touched by his honesty and openness, I stepped a little bit closer to him. "So...Carrie means nothing to you?"
"Nothing. Carrie is...she's Carrie. She's crazy. You know how she is."
I stepped closer again. "So...you missed me?"
"Desperately," he whispered, his voice strained.
I stepped into his arms. "I missed you too. Should we try this again?"
"Please," he murmured as his lips came down to touch mine. With his arms around me I was having chills for a different reason now. "Rachel?" he asked after a moment.
"Yeah?"
"Do you have a date for the dance tomorrow?"
I chuckled to myself. "No," I admitted.
He looked suddenly shy. "Would you go with me?"
"I don't have a dress," I stated simply.
He paused for a moment. "I'm pretty sure that can be arranged." He grinned. "Will you go with me?"
I kissed him softly.
"Is that a yes?" he mumbled through the kiss.
I laughed, for the first time in weeks. "Yes," I told him. "That's a yes."
