P.T.O
I skipped Mme Giry's tale because, well, I don't joke about things like that.
In the dorms Christine randomly gets up and heads to the stablesStares at the dozing Raoul
Christine: Such nobility. I've seen more bravery on billboards for sleeping pills.
Gives Raoul a wet willyChristine: Hey stable dude! Gimmie a pair of horses and make it snappy! Chop chop!
Stable dude: Whatever. Do you always prance around in your underwear?
Christine: None of your damn business. Now, do I have to get those stupid horses myself?
Stable dude: No, I got it
Christine ambles away.
Stable dude: Bitch.
Phantom knocks out stable dude. Raoul wakes upRaoul: Oh my God, Christine is gone! This is partly my fault!
Pigeon: Dumbass, it's all your fault!
Raoul: Whatever. I'm not going to waste time talking to reptiles!
Phantom: My God, you gotta be deaf not to hear that ten feet away when the fop hears it almost a quarter of a mile away. Coo coo!
Christine: To my father's grave please, and step on it!
Phantom in disguise: You got it, babe! Giddy up there, Snowball!
They clatter awayRaoul comes charging into the stable, scratching his butt
Raoul: What'd I miss?
Stable dude: I dunno. Your chick just rode away with some guy in a mask.
Raoul: Well, this doesn't take a genius to figure out.
Goes to Starbucks
Starbucks geek: Hey, chap, your girl ain't here. Get lost!
Raoul: Damn. Guess I'd better try the graveyard. Rides away
Meanwhile, back in the world of smart people:
Phantom in disguise: So, seen any good movies lately?
Christine: Nah. I find today's media to be bloated and shallow
Phantom in disguise: My lord, are you always on?
They get to the graveyard. Christine hops out
Phantom: Enjoy. I don't give a rip how you get home.
Drives away Christine goes to her father's graveChristine: How I miss ya, pop!
Phantom from above: I miss you too. Nice dress. Now, will you walk into the mausoleum and come sit on my lap like a good girl?
Christine: sure, why not? I'm just dumb enough to fall for this bitone more time!
Doors openPhantom: Get the lead off. I can't stand here singing forever!
Raoul rides upRaoul: Christine, I hate to break it to ya, but this guy isn't your daddy.
Phantom jumps down from the roofPhantom: Okay, let's go, beeyotch! I've had just about enough of your foppishness!
Raoul: Bring it on, grandma!
They start sword fightingChristine: Wow, didn't see that coming.
Raoul starts shrieking and trying to scratch phantomPhantom: What are we, in third grade? This is no place for catfights!
Christine: sighs can we hurry this along? I promised Meg I would help her sort out her pigeon-toedness!
Both guys: Sure, alright. Works for me.
Phantom flops on his backRaoul raises his sword over his head, preparing to stab phantom
Christine: No, Raoul! It would be a plot dead end!
Both guys: A plot dead end? Perish the thought!
Raoul tries to get on horse but falls off the other side. Does this about ten times. Christine and phantom are snickering
Raoul: A little help here!
Phantom: Whatever gives fop a boost
Christine jumps on horse
Raoul: Thanks, bub. Now, go to hell!
They ride awayPhantom: Whoever marries the fop is in for a very entertaining wedding night. I swear eternal vengeance on the pair of you!
Looks around stupidlyPhantom: I've gotta stop doing that!
Shuffles away again