.a.n.: Heeh...so I'm just slowly moving everything I've been working on for the past few months from LJ onto here. And before I forget again, sorry to everyone who's seen these before. It does me good to re-edit things when I'm stuck in a writer's block (which I'm not - I just have too many things to write and too little time -cringe-) and it's horribly boring to re-edit and do nothing with the piece. Anyway, here's no.2. Please take good care of me!
.d.i.s.c.l.a.i.m.e.r.: -tries for coherency- N...o...t. myoooooine...mine. -cry-
Title: Falling Sky
Pairing: OshiGaku
Rating: PG13
Mukahi Gakuto was afraid of death.
There was something about it that plagued him. Something about it that bothered him, worried him, intrigued him. Something about it that woke him up at 2AM, sent him running for the dormitory bathrooms, and made him wash his face until his heart calmed down. Death had turned Mukahi Gakuto's natural curosity into a fear.
And over time, death further changed that fear into an obsession. Eventually, Gakuto's life consisted of three things: ignoring it, avoiding it, and fearing it. Suitably worried, his parents and counselor wanted to send him to a psychologist. He refused. No crack-pot in a white-washed whore house could cure him of his phobia.
...once, he'd considered asking his teammates about death. But he knew them well enough to know what they'd say.
Atobe would scoff in his usual fashion, but inside, he'd worry about Gakuto like he secretly worried about all his teammates - when he wasn't preening or admiring himself, that is. Then, Atobe would probably try to bribe the problem away with aromatherapy candles, informative lectures, and recorded spiritual uplifts. And somewhere along the way, Atobe might realize that ore-sama feared death too - just that he'd never thought of it.
Ohtori was Christian, so it was obvious what he would say. While the tall second-year gracefully accepted the fact that most of Japan had not converted to his faith - or almost any faith for that matter - he still dropped hints every once in a while, inviting his team members to attend special church events with him. A few members, including Gakuto, had given into his pleas. But as Taki had put it, their souls were already destined for hell. There was no salvation for them.
Shishido was a practical man, and if asked, would probably respond that he didn't believe in any gods, unless Atobe Keigo really was one like he claimed. Though he attended mass occasionally with Ohtori, the sermons and singing never touched him in any special way. So on the subject of death, he would be practical too. It's going to happen, would be his probable answer, deal with it when you get there.
The redhead hadn't bothered asking Kabaji or Jiroh.
Hiyoshi, however, had the unusual tendency of relating old sayings and folktales to everything. Gakuto attributed the habit to the youth's upbringing - after all, being raised in a dojo wasn't exactly normal. And after all his pondering, Hiyoshi was the only person Gakuto had ever asked about death and fear of it, because his answer was unpredictable. Pursing his lips slightly and wrinkling his brow, Hiyoshi had hesitatingly responded with a small tale, and a lesson. "There was once a man," he'd told Gakuto, "who spent his life staring at the sky. Many times, his friends would pass him by and ask what he was doing. He told them that he was afraid the sky would fall down, so he kept on watching it, just incase." He paused. "There's no use in worrying about things you can't change. The man spent his life worrying that the sky would fall - and he wasted it. If it falls, it falls. What can we do?"
But even that hadn't comforted Gakuto.
Which was why he was currently in the arms of Oshitari Yuushi, resident genius. In the months that they'd been going out, Gakuto's fears had diminished, perhaps due to the other people and things occupying his bed. But after a while, the fear had returned with a vengeance and 2AM would find him not in the bathrooms, but clutching the tensai's shirt until the feelings went away. It'd be back the next day, he acknowledged miserably, and slowly, his relationship with Yuushi changed for the worse.
One night, Gakuto had gathered his courage and told Yuushi what had been plaguing him every night. He told him about his struggles, fears, questions, and answers. Then, he cried. Because it'd spiraled so far out of control.
After the tear tracks dried, he watched Yuushi for any emotions: sympathy, pity, disgust? Would Yuushi try to psychoanalyze him, to file him away under some subject folder? Or would he suggest that Gakuto get professional aid, and join Gakuto's parents in their never-ending quest for the ultimate self-help book?
Yuushi just wrapped his arms around him.
"I don't know," he stated simply.
Gakuto nodded, half-grateful, half-disappointed, into Yuushi's chest.
"But I can promise."
Gakuto froze, and looked up into Yuushi's face.
"I can promise that I'll protect you. Even after death."
Without the glasses, he could easily see the other man's face and eyes, both of which belied truth and belief. The arms around him felt strong, and after a look into those eyes, he knew that Yuushi would use his heart, body, and soul to shield him from any harm - whether superficial or fatal. He smiled, nodded, and lifted his head for a kiss.
Mukahi Gakuto was still afraid of death.
It just wasn't scary when Yuushi was around.
.a.n.: :hasn't written any OshiGaku since: Eek. I need an OTP...or perhaps my attention span is just too short. Mehhhhh...XD. Hope it wasn't too painful, until next time!
