Author's Note: My sincerest apologies to everyone for not updating faster
than what I had planned for. I would like to give my thanks to everyone for
being so patient with me, but now it is the summer holidays so I have
plenty of time to update. I have decided to not include titles for chapters
anymore, just song lyrics if it is appropriate for the chapter.
It Is You I Had Loved
Ch. 14
Hazel looked out the window at the dawning sky. The oncoming storm clouds were threatening to block the earth from the sun's glow. Only a couple of hours ago her heart had been whole and now pieces of it were lying scattered all over the countryside. The wind had lessened to a cool breeze whispering in the trees. Hazel sighed as she looked down at her diary.
Dear Diary, I can't believe myself! I knew that this was possible but I didn't expect it to actually happen! What an idiot I am, if only I could just go back in time and correct it! Did he ever arrive there? Well I can bet my mushrooms that he bloody did not! No, do you know why? Because he is a lousy rat, who only cares for himself and never gives a hoot for anyone else! I HATE HIM!!!! I wish I had never met the lying scoundrel! I bet this was all a joke and now he is in his warm hobbit hole giggling to himself over his master plan I guess as a last chance at a joke at me! Oh how I wish I could go down there and slap the living day lights out of him so that he would know how much it hurts! But should I show him that this hurt me? Or should I pretend it didn't affect me at all. If I do the latter it could only lead to more hurt feelings and other things. Someone needs to get these childish ideas out of his head! OH HOW I HATE HIM!!! HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM!!!!
Hazel stopped a single tear drop falling down on her paper. She looked at her snow globe that he had given her. She picked it up with spite and was debating whether it was worth tossing out the window or not when she heard a light tap at her window.
Hazel turned to her window and looked out of it. The dawning light allowed her to see the faint outline of a hobbit waving at her and looking around cautiously. Hazel's heart gave a painful leap in her chest as she opened the window.
"Psst Hazel!"
Hazel sighed her heart returning once again to the bottom of her feet.
"Merry now is not the best time. What are you doing here anyways? Do you realize what time it is?"
"Please I have something urgent to tell you," pleaded Merry looking cautiously around.
"Ugh, fine I will be out in the back", replied Hazel. Hazel closed her window and looked around for a cloak. Picking up her favorite emerald green one, she placed it around her shoulders and went out to the back.
Once out there she saw Merry sitting on the garden bench by the fountain. Merry stood when she entered the garden and offered for her to sit down beside him. Hazel looked at Merry with narrowed eyes, not sure of what this was all about.
"No thank you Merry I prefer to stand", she answered curtly not looking at Merry directly in the eyes.
Merry sighed. "Believe me, Hazel I think you need to sit down for what I am about to tell you." He once again extended his hand and Hazel hesitantly sat down.
Merry stood in front of her and began to pace. The breeze seemed to pick up again; Hazel held her cloak against her. Finally Merry stopped his pacing and sat down beside her. Very close beside her. Hazel sort of gasped for if it had been only about a week before she would have probably fainted on the floor. This was what she had pictured in her dreams for so many years. Now that it was actually happening it saddened her to know that Meriadoc Brandybuck was no longer her figure of affection.
"Hazel", began Merry and then hesitated again. He looked down and then gently held her hand.
Hazel's eyes widened once more, a flash of an all too familiar dream played through her mind. Merry squeezed her hand reassuringly and began to stroke it with his thumb. Hazel gazed down at their hands not daring to breath, not sure what to think either.
"Hazel", repeated Merry once more, "I don't think there is any easy way to say this, but it must be said, for all our sakes. Tonight something occurred and I believe I am correct in saying that something else was broken besides a request." Hazel looked at Merry once more. How did he know?
"Mer", Hazel began but Merry silenced her with a look.
"Hazel as a friend, I must ask you to not say anything until I am finished. Also to hear me out completely before any action that you are even thinking of doing is completed. Please, it is very important for you to hear the whole thing."
Hazel nodded, her heart fluttering in her throat. Merry looked at her making sure that her nod was sincere and then with one last squeeze of her hand he continued.
"Hazel, I must confess to you that over the past couple of days, Pippin, Estella, Diamond, Alastor and I have been planning ways to get Frodo and you together. If this was a wrong action to take I am deeply sorry for it, but I believe that you didn't mind the idea at all. Well it was only after the incident at The Golden Sun with Dandy and everything that our suspicions were verified. There was something else between you two besides just friendship; we figured there was something more."
Hazel could feel her eyes watering.
"So we decided that we would be doing both of you a favor if we brought you two, not knowing that it was us the whole time, together. So we decided to write two letters."
Hazel's mouth dropped open. "You what?"
Merry nodded. "Estella wrote a letter to Frodo from your behalf, and Pippin wrote a letter to you on Frodo's behalf. Well the idea was for you two to get together and spend New Year's Eve together. Everything was going along great, until we realized that there had been a mistake. In the planning of the times there was a bit of confusion. Estella had written in your letter to Frodo to meet at 11:30. Pippin in the meanwhile had gotten confused with the times and in Frodo's letter to you had written 12:00."
Hazel's hand began to shake and Merry tried to steady it. Hazel didn't know what to feel. Her eyebrows furrowed as she continued to look on at Merry.
Merry not looking at Hazel continued. "So you can imagine how distressed we all were when we realized the mistake. But by that time it was far too late. The letters had already been sent to each of you and it was almost time for Frodo to meet you at the Knoll."
"So what did you do then?" Hazel exclaimed unable to keep her anger any longer.
"Hazel, remember your promise? I am not finished yet. Please calm down."
"How can I calm down? Merry I can't believe all of you could have done this to us! And when you realized your mistake you didn't go and tell it to us. Instead you would have us go up there to the Knoll looking like complete IDIOTS! Some friends you are!"
Hazel wrenched her hand away from Merry's, and crossed her arms furiously. She turned away from him, not wishing for the tears to come down.
"Hazel, believe me if we had even known that this was going to happen then we would have never done it."
Hazel turned back at him this time her eyes up to the brim with tears.
"You know what Merry? If you and the others had at least been a little bit more considerate of our feelings then maybe you wouldn't be in this predicament! I mean I can't believe that you should go to such extents so that Frodo and I could get together! Do you not think that we are capable of carrying on a relationship by ourselves?"
"Of course you are you guys are just not capable of starting the relationship off, that's all! I mean it was perfectly clear to us what both of you were thinking when you looked upon one another and we thought that for the sake of everyone else that we should give you an encouraging nudge. What is wrong with a little help?"
"Nudge, nudge? You call this whole letter thing a nudge! Honestly Merry I think the better definition is a push! You were basically making me throw myself at him, and begin thinking about feelings that don't even exist between us!"
"Hazel, please believe me we never thought this was going to end up this way. Please we were only trying to help. We didn't see anything wrong with a little bit of friendly interference."
Hazel turned on Merry her eyes already red from crying. "Merry, all you have completed in doing is helping my heart get ripped to shreds much faster!"
And with that Hazel got up and ran. She ignored Merry's cries for her to come back. She just merely wished to be alone. The sun rose in the distance and the birds began to sing the first songs of dawn. "I hate it all, I hate it!" Frodo looked over the Brandywine, which was now still somewhat frozen over. His mind drifted back to a time when he wasn't as worried about such things as girls and relationships. A time when he was only worried about what the best joke would be, and when to steal from Farmer Maggot's. Frodo looked up at the rapidly clouding sky. The air was heavily perfumed with the clean smell of rain. The old willow tree which had before offered him so much protection still stood its bows bending low over his head.
"Why me? Why does this always happen to me?" Frodo muttered to himself as he continued to stare out at the frozen river.
He heard someone approaching behind him. Frodo turned to see a girl coming towards him. For a split second Frodo believed her to be Hazel, but as the girl drew nearer he was proved wrong.
"Oh there you are Frodo; I was hoping I would find you here."
"Estella, what are you doing here? Do you realize what time it is?"
"Yes I know it is a bit early, but Frodo I need to talk to you." She smiled at him earnestly as she sat herself down on the opposite tree root.
"What about Estella?"
"It's about Hazel", she said looking at him and leaning closer. She looked at him intently the gentlest expression in her soft brown eyes.
Frodo's eyebrows furrowed. "Hazel?" What about her?"
"You know, about what happened this evening", continued Estella twirling a piece of her hair in her fingers nervously.
"You've already talked to her about it?"
"No please Frodo let me explain"
"Please, don't try to defend her Estella, because trust me I am in no mood to take any crap from her today." Frodo got up and walked away.
"Frodo please if you would only hear me out!"
Frodo continued to walk on down the bank not knowing exactly where he was going; only knowing that he would rather be anywhere but back there. He couldn't wait to leave Buckland and travel back to Bag End, only there would he find peace and solace. He could hear Estella coming behind him, clearly not willing to give up on him so easily.
"Frodo! Frodo, stop! Would you just listen to me?"
Frodo stopped, his heart pumping fast inside his throat. He stood there waiting for Estella to catch up.
"Frodo please if you would only listen than maybe all this will be for nothing. Please I know you have been hurt, and believe me when I say this that it pains me to see you so."
Frodo turned to face his friend. Estella was soon by his side and then they both began to walk down the Brandywine.
"Frodo, listen you shouldn't be mad at Hazel. On the contrary you should be mad at me, at all of us. Merry, Pippin, Diamond, Alastor, and I came up with a plan to get you and Hazel together. The reason being that we saw there was something else that was going on between you and Hazel. So we figured that we would test out our theory, that day at the Golden Sun we realized that we were right. And so we needed something to be taken place real soon especially since you were going to be leaving soon, so I wrote a letter to you from Hazel's behalf and Pippin wrote a letter to Hazel from your behalf. Well the only problem was that the times got mixed up and so it ended up that you both missed each other by half an hour. But Hazel did arrive and you should have seen the way she ran back home! What I mean to say is that it wasn't your fault or Hazel's! It was purely our lack of attention in the writing of the times. And for that we are eternally sorry!"
Frodo turned to Estella his lips parted not sure what to say. What could he say? This had come so unexpected to him. So there was still a chance, but did this mean that everything he was thinking about was it real? Were the feelings he was now holding inside real, or were they just made up due to the letter that he had received from Hazel, but not Hazel but Estella. Was she really in fact sharing the same feelings as he? Estella did mention how distressed she was in finding that he was not there waiting for her. But was that enough? Frodo didn't know what to do he honestly did not wish to be hurt again. He would have to be cautious about it.
"Frodo? Frodo please say something! I know you must be angry at me and at all of us but please do not revert to not speaking to me! Frodo!"
Estella was now on the brink of tears. Frodo's face broke out in a compassionate smile and he gave her a hug. Estella had now begun to hiccup. Her body jumped every time one escaped her and Frodo couldn't help but smile. Everything was going to be all right. Suddenly a light thunder rumbled and it began to rain, lightly at first but still freezing cold.
Frodo and Estella holding each other's hands in order not to slip on the slick stones, made their way towards the only source of shelter that they could find. They returned back under the willow tree and there under its thick branches they hid from the freezing rain which would probably later turn to snow.
Estella was still hiccupping into his shoulder.
"So you are not mad at me?" She asked timidly brushing away the tears from her eyes.
"Of course not, Estella! I could never be mad at you, you know that. I was just honestly so...stunned! I didn't know what to say! Does Hazel know about this?"
"Oh Merry (hiccup!) was suppose to go and look for her to (hiccup!) tell her about it."
"I see", said Frodo looking away from his friend and staring out at the rain. The branches were soon soaking wet, in a little while no shelter would be found there.
Estella took a deep breath to try to stop herself from hiccupping. Another jump from her showed that it hadn't worked. Frodo chuckled good naturedly and placed a loving hand on her shoulder.
"What on earth would I do without you, Estella? You do realize that you haven't changed since the....erm...accident. You still can't contain your hiccups even after you have stopped crying."
Estella punched him playfully. "And you are still the same stubborn"
"Ass?" He finished for her and she smiled and nodded.
"Come on we better get out of this rain, before we both get sick", he said as he helped her up noticing now that her teeth were chattering.
"Frodo, wait."
Frodo stopped and looked at her.
"I can't help but ask what are you (hiccup) going to do?"
Frodo turned away and said "I don't know. I am not sure of some things right now."
Estella looked a bit crestfallen at his answer.
Frodo looked at her and said with a strain at his voice to seem happy "But I do know that if we stay any longer here we will both be in major problems. Come on Brandyhall is closest."
Estella even though she wished to be sure to cheer Frodo up and help him as much as she could, thanked the heavens for this for indeed she could almost feel the cold freezing her bare toes. Frodo helped her up and using his cloak as a shield from the downpour they made their way out of the riverbed and onto the road nearby.
The rain continued to come down and soon it became so cold that there was no longer liquid falling from the air but lots of freezing snow. Frodo and Estella quickened their pace, being careful not to trip on the road as they headed for Brandyhall.
"We are almost there!" Frodo shouted pointing at the bright lights of the hall. Estella once again thanked the heavens for she could no longer feel her feet.
"Let's cut through this field it will be quicker!" Frodo led the way to a field that would usually in spring time be bursting with corn stalks. Estella quickly followed her hiccups were still causing her to jump every so often. They came to a stone wall that separated them from the entrance to Brandyhall. Frodo left Estella with his cloak and nimbly jumped over the wall with ease, slipping slightly when he reached the other side.
"Watch ou-(hiccup!). Are you ok?"
"Yeah fine just come on here I will help you be careful it is a bit slippery."
Estella nervously climbed up the wall sitting down on its icy top. She knew she was not going to like this. She waited for Frodo to position himself below her. It was not a very high wall but then again Frodo was a good deal taller than she was and besides he could actually feel his feet or so she assumed.
"Come on, I got you," coaxed Frodo as he held up his hands.
Estella with one last hiccup jumped down from the wall and landed on the ground. But no sooner had she landed on the ground she felt her feet slip from underneath her. Before she knew what was happening she was falling back but she didn't fall too far. With a sickening crash her skull made contact with the stone wall. The last thing Estella saw was Frodo's wide panicked blue eyes staring at her. And then everything went dark. Hazel rushed through the doors a couple of hobbits were standing here and there and they all looked up as she entered.
"Where is she?!"
"Please, Miss, she is in the back room with the Master", said a servant timidly pointing her in the right direction.
Hazel ran and headed to the backroom where the servant had pointed. She saw that there was already a crowd forming at the door. On the outer rim she saw Mrs. Brandybuck a handkerchief concealing her face. Hazel drew close to her, Mrs. Brandybuck raised her head it seemed to draw in breath and she caught Hazel's stare.
"Oh Hazela..."
"How is she?"
Mrs. Brandybuck didn't know what to answer and she just turned to look through the crowded door. A gruff voice came from inside bidding everyone to please leave and so they did all with worried looks in their eyes.
Hazel turned to the hobbit who had commanded the crowd to leave, it was Dr. Burrows.
"Please sir I need to see her", pleaded Hazel.
The doctor hesitated for one moment before he stepped aside allowing her entry into the room. Hazel stepped inside. The curtains were drawn so that only a single ray of light penetrated through the room giving little light to see by. There was a fire going in the grate and the light of about ten candles flickered. Estella was in a bed supported by about four pillows. Her eyes were closed and her lips looked pale.
Hazel crossed the room quickly and headed to her side. She knelt down and stroked Estella's forehead gently trying to blink back tears that were threatening to come down.
"Estella? Estella can you hear me?"
"She is out cold", muttered a voice behind her. Hazel turned from her friend to see Fatty Bolger standing behind her in a corner.
"She hasn't said anything nor opened her eyes since she was brought here", said another voice from the other side of the bed. Hazel was surprised to find Mr. and Mrs. Bolger sitting there in chairs. It was Mr. Bolger who had spoken. It was a wonder that Hazel had not seen them when she had run into the room.
"What happened is she going to be alright? When my mother told me about it all she could say was that Estella was ill!"
Mr. and Mrs. Bolger looked away to the shadows of a corner of the room.
"Why don't you ask him?" Fatty said over her shoulder.
Hazel followed their gaze and came face to face with Frodo. He was standing by the fireplace in the shadows his eyes shining in the firelight.
"Frodo what happened?" Hazel's voice shook as she asked once more, this time for more than just one reason.
Frodo stepped away from the fireplace his head bent, dullness in his usually lively eyes.
"It was an accident", he began before he was interrupted by the abrupt movement of Mr. Bolger.
"Accident? Sounds more like carelessness to me!"
"Harold!" pleaded Mrs. Bolger who now stood up from her chair, handkerchief still over her nose (AN: alright I have no idea what the Bolger's first names are except for Fatty and Estella so I am making up the names of the parents if anyone knows the real names of Mr. and Mrs. Bolger then tell me so I can keep true to the books. Oh and another thing if Fatty and Estella are not suppose to be related in the book...then well they are in this story.)
"But it is true! You heard the boy! What I still want to know is why you were both out there at three o' clock in the morning in the first place!"
"Harold please!"
"You better not have been up to anything..." Mr. Bolger seemed to not be able to think of a word that could express the hideous offense that he had in his mind. And it was pretty clear to everyone in the room what he was thinking.
Hazel could hear Fatty shift behind her, she knew Fatty was a good friend of Frodo's, and she was sure he was fighting hard not to think the worse of his friend.
Frodo stepped closer to the bed and Hazel saw that his cheeks were pinker than usual. "Mr. Bolger, I have already told you that we were doing nothing of the kind. Estella had something to tell me of some importance." At this he paused and quickly looked at Hazel. Hazel's heart thumped inside her throat so hard that she knew for sure everyone else could hear it. "That was all there was nothing more. And I do realize Mr. Bolger that although it might be called carelessness or recklessness but it was still a most unfortunate accident."
His voice was calm and patient and for a moment it seemed that he was the adult rather than the bristling old hobbit before him.
"Rubbish!" Mr. Bolger glared at Frodo and then added while shaking his finger furiously at him. "I never want to see you come near my daughter again! Do you hear me? Get out!"
Frodo stood there for second more before shaking his head and leaving quickly from the room. Hazel wanted to go after him, but she couldn't leave Estella's side. Then again she desperately wished to know what had happened. Dr. Burrows who had remained quite during the whole exchange stepped forward and said that it would be best if the rest of the family leave as well. "Miss Bolger needs her rest."
Hazel left Estella's side regretfully. She tried not to catch either of the Bolger's eyes as she too quickly hastened to escape. Once outside Mrs. Bolger broke out in more tears and Mr. Bolger along with Fatty led her away. Hazel stood in the hallway wondering where Frodo had gone off. After searching the nearby sitting rooms, she ventured off in search of his room.
She knocked on the door politely before entering. Frodo was sitting in a chair his head between his hands.
"Frodo?"
"Please Hazel I wish to be alone", was his answer. Hazel walked over to him and bent down.
"Frodo please talk to me", she pleaded. You don't know how much it pains me to be beside you. You hurt me so much. But it wasn't his fault said another voice in her head. You hurt yourself.
"Hazel you have to believe me it was an accident! I would never ever wish for any harm to come down upon Estella! You know that!" Frodo lifted his head and Hazel was surprised to see shiny tears on his cheeks.
"No one is saying that you did it on purpose, Frodo", she assured him, hesitating before rubbing his back gently.
"The Bolger's believe it. And now Fatty will think I am out to get his sister! But they are right! They are right it was my fault. I should have been thinking. I should have made her scoot down the wall some more to avoid that patch of ice. She doesn't deserve to be in that bed."
"Frodo what happened please tell me."
Frodo finally looked up at her his deep blue eyes still glistening with tears. He told Hazel of the accident. "I will never forget that sound and the look she gave me right when she hit the wall. No never as long as I live." He bent down again his eyes closed, his shoulders shaking.
Hazel continued to rub his back gently her fingers shaking slightly. "What happened afterwards?"
"Well I tried to get her to come to, but she was gone. I feared the worse, so I scooped her up in my arms and ran as fast as I could, careful of Estella, and yelled for help. Once inside Brandyhall, Aunt Esmeralda told me to take her into that room back there. She told me that Merry could carry her, for he had shortly returned home, but I would not let anyone else touch her. We took her inside and Aunt Esmeralda told someone to get the doctor. Merry ran off to get the Bolger's and Pippin went to get Diamond and Alastor. The doctor arrived and so did the Bolger's they questioned me over what had happened and I felt ashamed to retell the story for I realized then and now that the most sensible thing to have done in order to have avoided this was to have her jump off the wall further down where there was no patch of ice! But no, I was not thinking then and now I have paid for my idiocy and so has she! I am a stupid fool!"
At this Frodo broke down and began to cry. Hazel for a minute didn't know what to do. She felt for Frodo and she desperately wished to have all the aches leave him. Not knowing what else to do she held him. If she were in his position that would be what she would want most, someone to hold and comfort you.
Frodo, to Hazel's surprise, hugged her back in return and cried on her shoulder. The tears that Hazel had tried so hard to hold back were now falling freely and she mentally scolded herself for not being stronger and fighting them back. She continued to rub his back in a motherly fashion as he sobbed into her shoulder.
"There, there Frodo you are not a fool! On the contrary you are the farthest hobbit I know that can be called a fool!"
"I just wished that it hadn't happened! Estella is just so very dear to me, and I can't bear the thought that something bad has happened to her, and that I could have prevented it!"
Hazel merely closed her eyes and hugged him tighter. Hazel's heart was thumping fast as she felt his body so close to hers. His arms around her were so comforting even though she was the one doing the comforting and not he. It felt so right to be there in each other's arms. After a while they broke apart, Frodo sniffed and smiled at Hazel. She still had some stray tears running down her face. He gently brushed them aside. Hazel's heart gave a leap.
"Thank you", he whispered his thumb lingering on her face.
"For what?" She whispered back looking into his eyes, being very well aware of how close their faces were from each other.
"For everything, for being here for me, and comforting me. Frankly I must say that I am ashamed at how I acted. I should have been the one comforting you."
Hazel smiled at this, and for a moment wished that he would have been comforting her. How she longed to feel his arms around her again, and now all her anger had subsided. Frodo's thumb was still on her cheek when they heard a knock at the door in which he took it off quickly.
Diamond, Alastor, Pippin, and Merry had come into the room. Frodo stood up from the floor where he and Hazel had been sitting. He helped Hazel up offering his hand to her. Diamond stepped forward and threw her arms around Hazel giving her a comforting hug.
"Hazel, Frodo there is something that we need to tell you", said Diamond. She turned back to the others a worried expression on her face.
Alastor stepped forward. "She woke up for just a minute, long enough for her to drink some water. The doctor says she is going to be fine, though he is a little worried. He doesn't want her to fall asleep because she might be in danger of not waking up again. He says that the wound to the head is not as deep as he had feared. Though it might have caused some brain damage, though it can not be certain until she is fully awake. Mrs. Bolger was taken home since she is already rather sick with a cold and Mr. Bolger fears that she might get worse. Fatty is going to stay with her tonight, and Mrs. Brandybuck has offered to stay with her as well. We too have decided to stay with her the night and were just coming in here to let you know." Alastor finished speaking.
Hazel nodded and was just about to go out the door when a thought occurred in her mind.
"Frodo", she said turning to face him "aren't you suppose to return to Bag End today?"
"Ah, yes that was the plan but giving the circumstances I would much rather not. I feel that Estella's condition is my responsibility contrary what others might or might not think, so I plan to stay here until she is recovered, or at least until she is out of harms way. I already arranged to leave with Alastor when he returns to Bywater. Bilbo will have to travel alone this time I am afraid."
Hazel nodded at this and she couldn't help but feel happy to see that Frodo was still going to remain here in Buckland a while longer. She scolded herself for thinking such happy and selfish thoughts at this time of sorrow. But all the same a small smile tugged her lips as she went out the door. I wonder if he feels the same.
AN: Okay I know that this for some might be a little shall we say...overwhelming and drastic. But you shall see that Estella's accident is going to play a role in the story. For those of you who are wondering and doubting some things let me make it perfectly clear. This is a Frodo and original character fanfiction. Therefore Frodo will get with an original character and I think we all know who that is. I just want to make sure that people won't start getting any ideas about there being a change in plans or something. I hope you enjoyed this chapter it was a long one and an emotional one. I can only hope that it wasn't too cheesy and overdramatic. Please review!
It Is You I Had Loved
Ch. 14
Hazel looked out the window at the dawning sky. The oncoming storm clouds were threatening to block the earth from the sun's glow. Only a couple of hours ago her heart had been whole and now pieces of it were lying scattered all over the countryside. The wind had lessened to a cool breeze whispering in the trees. Hazel sighed as she looked down at her diary.
Dear Diary, I can't believe myself! I knew that this was possible but I didn't expect it to actually happen! What an idiot I am, if only I could just go back in time and correct it! Did he ever arrive there? Well I can bet my mushrooms that he bloody did not! No, do you know why? Because he is a lousy rat, who only cares for himself and never gives a hoot for anyone else! I HATE HIM!!!! I wish I had never met the lying scoundrel! I bet this was all a joke and now he is in his warm hobbit hole giggling to himself over his master plan I guess as a last chance at a joke at me! Oh how I wish I could go down there and slap the living day lights out of him so that he would know how much it hurts! But should I show him that this hurt me? Or should I pretend it didn't affect me at all. If I do the latter it could only lead to more hurt feelings and other things. Someone needs to get these childish ideas out of his head! OH HOW I HATE HIM!!! HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM!!!!
Hazel stopped a single tear drop falling down on her paper. She looked at her snow globe that he had given her. She picked it up with spite and was debating whether it was worth tossing out the window or not when she heard a light tap at her window.
Hazel turned to her window and looked out of it. The dawning light allowed her to see the faint outline of a hobbit waving at her and looking around cautiously. Hazel's heart gave a painful leap in her chest as she opened the window.
"Psst Hazel!"
Hazel sighed her heart returning once again to the bottom of her feet.
"Merry now is not the best time. What are you doing here anyways? Do you realize what time it is?"
"Please I have something urgent to tell you," pleaded Merry looking cautiously around.
"Ugh, fine I will be out in the back", replied Hazel. Hazel closed her window and looked around for a cloak. Picking up her favorite emerald green one, she placed it around her shoulders and went out to the back.
Once out there she saw Merry sitting on the garden bench by the fountain. Merry stood when she entered the garden and offered for her to sit down beside him. Hazel looked at Merry with narrowed eyes, not sure of what this was all about.
"No thank you Merry I prefer to stand", she answered curtly not looking at Merry directly in the eyes.
Merry sighed. "Believe me, Hazel I think you need to sit down for what I am about to tell you." He once again extended his hand and Hazel hesitantly sat down.
Merry stood in front of her and began to pace. The breeze seemed to pick up again; Hazel held her cloak against her. Finally Merry stopped his pacing and sat down beside her. Very close beside her. Hazel sort of gasped for if it had been only about a week before she would have probably fainted on the floor. This was what she had pictured in her dreams for so many years. Now that it was actually happening it saddened her to know that Meriadoc Brandybuck was no longer her figure of affection.
"Hazel", began Merry and then hesitated again. He looked down and then gently held her hand.
Hazel's eyes widened once more, a flash of an all too familiar dream played through her mind. Merry squeezed her hand reassuringly and began to stroke it with his thumb. Hazel gazed down at their hands not daring to breath, not sure what to think either.
"Hazel", repeated Merry once more, "I don't think there is any easy way to say this, but it must be said, for all our sakes. Tonight something occurred and I believe I am correct in saying that something else was broken besides a request." Hazel looked at Merry once more. How did he know?
"Mer", Hazel began but Merry silenced her with a look.
"Hazel as a friend, I must ask you to not say anything until I am finished. Also to hear me out completely before any action that you are even thinking of doing is completed. Please, it is very important for you to hear the whole thing."
Hazel nodded, her heart fluttering in her throat. Merry looked at her making sure that her nod was sincere and then with one last squeeze of her hand he continued.
"Hazel, I must confess to you that over the past couple of days, Pippin, Estella, Diamond, Alastor and I have been planning ways to get Frodo and you together. If this was a wrong action to take I am deeply sorry for it, but I believe that you didn't mind the idea at all. Well it was only after the incident at The Golden Sun with Dandy and everything that our suspicions were verified. There was something else between you two besides just friendship; we figured there was something more."
Hazel could feel her eyes watering.
"So we decided that we would be doing both of you a favor if we brought you two, not knowing that it was us the whole time, together. So we decided to write two letters."
Hazel's mouth dropped open. "You what?"
Merry nodded. "Estella wrote a letter to Frodo from your behalf, and Pippin wrote a letter to you on Frodo's behalf. Well the idea was for you two to get together and spend New Year's Eve together. Everything was going along great, until we realized that there had been a mistake. In the planning of the times there was a bit of confusion. Estella had written in your letter to Frodo to meet at 11:30. Pippin in the meanwhile had gotten confused with the times and in Frodo's letter to you had written 12:00."
Hazel's hand began to shake and Merry tried to steady it. Hazel didn't know what to feel. Her eyebrows furrowed as she continued to look on at Merry.
Merry not looking at Hazel continued. "So you can imagine how distressed we all were when we realized the mistake. But by that time it was far too late. The letters had already been sent to each of you and it was almost time for Frodo to meet you at the Knoll."
"So what did you do then?" Hazel exclaimed unable to keep her anger any longer.
"Hazel, remember your promise? I am not finished yet. Please calm down."
"How can I calm down? Merry I can't believe all of you could have done this to us! And when you realized your mistake you didn't go and tell it to us. Instead you would have us go up there to the Knoll looking like complete IDIOTS! Some friends you are!"
Hazel wrenched her hand away from Merry's, and crossed her arms furiously. She turned away from him, not wishing for the tears to come down.
"Hazel, believe me if we had even known that this was going to happen then we would have never done it."
Hazel turned back at him this time her eyes up to the brim with tears.
"You know what Merry? If you and the others had at least been a little bit more considerate of our feelings then maybe you wouldn't be in this predicament! I mean I can't believe that you should go to such extents so that Frodo and I could get together! Do you not think that we are capable of carrying on a relationship by ourselves?"
"Of course you are you guys are just not capable of starting the relationship off, that's all! I mean it was perfectly clear to us what both of you were thinking when you looked upon one another and we thought that for the sake of everyone else that we should give you an encouraging nudge. What is wrong with a little help?"
"Nudge, nudge? You call this whole letter thing a nudge! Honestly Merry I think the better definition is a push! You were basically making me throw myself at him, and begin thinking about feelings that don't even exist between us!"
"Hazel, please believe me we never thought this was going to end up this way. Please we were only trying to help. We didn't see anything wrong with a little bit of friendly interference."
Hazel turned on Merry her eyes already red from crying. "Merry, all you have completed in doing is helping my heart get ripped to shreds much faster!"
And with that Hazel got up and ran. She ignored Merry's cries for her to come back. She just merely wished to be alone. The sun rose in the distance and the birds began to sing the first songs of dawn. "I hate it all, I hate it!" Frodo looked over the Brandywine, which was now still somewhat frozen over. His mind drifted back to a time when he wasn't as worried about such things as girls and relationships. A time when he was only worried about what the best joke would be, and when to steal from Farmer Maggot's. Frodo looked up at the rapidly clouding sky. The air was heavily perfumed with the clean smell of rain. The old willow tree which had before offered him so much protection still stood its bows bending low over his head.
"Why me? Why does this always happen to me?" Frodo muttered to himself as he continued to stare out at the frozen river.
He heard someone approaching behind him. Frodo turned to see a girl coming towards him. For a split second Frodo believed her to be Hazel, but as the girl drew nearer he was proved wrong.
"Oh there you are Frodo; I was hoping I would find you here."
"Estella, what are you doing here? Do you realize what time it is?"
"Yes I know it is a bit early, but Frodo I need to talk to you." She smiled at him earnestly as she sat herself down on the opposite tree root.
"What about Estella?"
"It's about Hazel", she said looking at him and leaning closer. She looked at him intently the gentlest expression in her soft brown eyes.
Frodo's eyebrows furrowed. "Hazel?" What about her?"
"You know, about what happened this evening", continued Estella twirling a piece of her hair in her fingers nervously.
"You've already talked to her about it?"
"No please Frodo let me explain"
"Please, don't try to defend her Estella, because trust me I am in no mood to take any crap from her today." Frodo got up and walked away.
"Frodo please if you would only hear me out!"
Frodo continued to walk on down the bank not knowing exactly where he was going; only knowing that he would rather be anywhere but back there. He couldn't wait to leave Buckland and travel back to Bag End, only there would he find peace and solace. He could hear Estella coming behind him, clearly not willing to give up on him so easily.
"Frodo! Frodo, stop! Would you just listen to me?"
Frodo stopped, his heart pumping fast inside his throat. He stood there waiting for Estella to catch up.
"Frodo please if you would only listen than maybe all this will be for nothing. Please I know you have been hurt, and believe me when I say this that it pains me to see you so."
Frodo turned to face his friend. Estella was soon by his side and then they both began to walk down the Brandywine.
"Frodo, listen you shouldn't be mad at Hazel. On the contrary you should be mad at me, at all of us. Merry, Pippin, Diamond, Alastor, and I came up with a plan to get you and Hazel together. The reason being that we saw there was something else that was going on between you and Hazel. So we figured that we would test out our theory, that day at the Golden Sun we realized that we were right. And so we needed something to be taken place real soon especially since you were going to be leaving soon, so I wrote a letter to you from Hazel's behalf and Pippin wrote a letter to Hazel from your behalf. Well the only problem was that the times got mixed up and so it ended up that you both missed each other by half an hour. But Hazel did arrive and you should have seen the way she ran back home! What I mean to say is that it wasn't your fault or Hazel's! It was purely our lack of attention in the writing of the times. And for that we are eternally sorry!"
Frodo turned to Estella his lips parted not sure what to say. What could he say? This had come so unexpected to him. So there was still a chance, but did this mean that everything he was thinking about was it real? Were the feelings he was now holding inside real, or were they just made up due to the letter that he had received from Hazel, but not Hazel but Estella. Was she really in fact sharing the same feelings as he? Estella did mention how distressed she was in finding that he was not there waiting for her. But was that enough? Frodo didn't know what to do he honestly did not wish to be hurt again. He would have to be cautious about it.
"Frodo? Frodo please say something! I know you must be angry at me and at all of us but please do not revert to not speaking to me! Frodo!"
Estella was now on the brink of tears. Frodo's face broke out in a compassionate smile and he gave her a hug. Estella had now begun to hiccup. Her body jumped every time one escaped her and Frodo couldn't help but smile. Everything was going to be all right. Suddenly a light thunder rumbled and it began to rain, lightly at first but still freezing cold.
Frodo and Estella holding each other's hands in order not to slip on the slick stones, made their way towards the only source of shelter that they could find. They returned back under the willow tree and there under its thick branches they hid from the freezing rain which would probably later turn to snow.
Estella was still hiccupping into his shoulder.
"So you are not mad at me?" She asked timidly brushing away the tears from her eyes.
"Of course not, Estella! I could never be mad at you, you know that. I was just honestly so...stunned! I didn't know what to say! Does Hazel know about this?"
"Oh Merry (hiccup!) was suppose to go and look for her to (hiccup!) tell her about it."
"I see", said Frodo looking away from his friend and staring out at the rain. The branches were soon soaking wet, in a little while no shelter would be found there.
Estella took a deep breath to try to stop herself from hiccupping. Another jump from her showed that it hadn't worked. Frodo chuckled good naturedly and placed a loving hand on her shoulder.
"What on earth would I do without you, Estella? You do realize that you haven't changed since the....erm...accident. You still can't contain your hiccups even after you have stopped crying."
Estella punched him playfully. "And you are still the same stubborn"
"Ass?" He finished for her and she smiled and nodded.
"Come on we better get out of this rain, before we both get sick", he said as he helped her up noticing now that her teeth were chattering.
"Frodo, wait."
Frodo stopped and looked at her.
"I can't help but ask what are you (hiccup) going to do?"
Frodo turned away and said "I don't know. I am not sure of some things right now."
Estella looked a bit crestfallen at his answer.
Frodo looked at her and said with a strain at his voice to seem happy "But I do know that if we stay any longer here we will both be in major problems. Come on Brandyhall is closest."
Estella even though she wished to be sure to cheer Frodo up and help him as much as she could, thanked the heavens for this for indeed she could almost feel the cold freezing her bare toes. Frodo helped her up and using his cloak as a shield from the downpour they made their way out of the riverbed and onto the road nearby.
The rain continued to come down and soon it became so cold that there was no longer liquid falling from the air but lots of freezing snow. Frodo and Estella quickened their pace, being careful not to trip on the road as they headed for Brandyhall.
"We are almost there!" Frodo shouted pointing at the bright lights of the hall. Estella once again thanked the heavens for she could no longer feel her feet.
"Let's cut through this field it will be quicker!" Frodo led the way to a field that would usually in spring time be bursting with corn stalks. Estella quickly followed her hiccups were still causing her to jump every so often. They came to a stone wall that separated them from the entrance to Brandyhall. Frodo left Estella with his cloak and nimbly jumped over the wall with ease, slipping slightly when he reached the other side.
"Watch ou-(hiccup!). Are you ok?"
"Yeah fine just come on here I will help you be careful it is a bit slippery."
Estella nervously climbed up the wall sitting down on its icy top. She knew she was not going to like this. She waited for Frodo to position himself below her. It was not a very high wall but then again Frodo was a good deal taller than she was and besides he could actually feel his feet or so she assumed.
"Come on, I got you," coaxed Frodo as he held up his hands.
Estella with one last hiccup jumped down from the wall and landed on the ground. But no sooner had she landed on the ground she felt her feet slip from underneath her. Before she knew what was happening she was falling back but she didn't fall too far. With a sickening crash her skull made contact with the stone wall. The last thing Estella saw was Frodo's wide panicked blue eyes staring at her. And then everything went dark. Hazel rushed through the doors a couple of hobbits were standing here and there and they all looked up as she entered.
"Where is she?!"
"Please, Miss, she is in the back room with the Master", said a servant timidly pointing her in the right direction.
Hazel ran and headed to the backroom where the servant had pointed. She saw that there was already a crowd forming at the door. On the outer rim she saw Mrs. Brandybuck a handkerchief concealing her face. Hazel drew close to her, Mrs. Brandybuck raised her head it seemed to draw in breath and she caught Hazel's stare.
"Oh Hazela..."
"How is she?"
Mrs. Brandybuck didn't know what to answer and she just turned to look through the crowded door. A gruff voice came from inside bidding everyone to please leave and so they did all with worried looks in their eyes.
Hazel turned to the hobbit who had commanded the crowd to leave, it was Dr. Burrows.
"Please sir I need to see her", pleaded Hazel.
The doctor hesitated for one moment before he stepped aside allowing her entry into the room. Hazel stepped inside. The curtains were drawn so that only a single ray of light penetrated through the room giving little light to see by. There was a fire going in the grate and the light of about ten candles flickered. Estella was in a bed supported by about four pillows. Her eyes were closed and her lips looked pale.
Hazel crossed the room quickly and headed to her side. She knelt down and stroked Estella's forehead gently trying to blink back tears that were threatening to come down.
"Estella? Estella can you hear me?"
"She is out cold", muttered a voice behind her. Hazel turned from her friend to see Fatty Bolger standing behind her in a corner.
"She hasn't said anything nor opened her eyes since she was brought here", said another voice from the other side of the bed. Hazel was surprised to find Mr. and Mrs. Bolger sitting there in chairs. It was Mr. Bolger who had spoken. It was a wonder that Hazel had not seen them when she had run into the room.
"What happened is she going to be alright? When my mother told me about it all she could say was that Estella was ill!"
Mr. and Mrs. Bolger looked away to the shadows of a corner of the room.
"Why don't you ask him?" Fatty said over her shoulder.
Hazel followed their gaze and came face to face with Frodo. He was standing by the fireplace in the shadows his eyes shining in the firelight.
"Frodo what happened?" Hazel's voice shook as she asked once more, this time for more than just one reason.
Frodo stepped away from the fireplace his head bent, dullness in his usually lively eyes.
"It was an accident", he began before he was interrupted by the abrupt movement of Mr. Bolger.
"Accident? Sounds more like carelessness to me!"
"Harold!" pleaded Mrs. Bolger who now stood up from her chair, handkerchief still over her nose (AN: alright I have no idea what the Bolger's first names are except for Fatty and Estella so I am making up the names of the parents if anyone knows the real names of Mr. and Mrs. Bolger then tell me so I can keep true to the books. Oh and another thing if Fatty and Estella are not suppose to be related in the book...then well they are in this story.)
"But it is true! You heard the boy! What I still want to know is why you were both out there at three o' clock in the morning in the first place!"
"Harold please!"
"You better not have been up to anything..." Mr. Bolger seemed to not be able to think of a word that could express the hideous offense that he had in his mind. And it was pretty clear to everyone in the room what he was thinking.
Hazel could hear Fatty shift behind her, she knew Fatty was a good friend of Frodo's, and she was sure he was fighting hard not to think the worse of his friend.
Frodo stepped closer to the bed and Hazel saw that his cheeks were pinker than usual. "Mr. Bolger, I have already told you that we were doing nothing of the kind. Estella had something to tell me of some importance." At this he paused and quickly looked at Hazel. Hazel's heart thumped inside her throat so hard that she knew for sure everyone else could hear it. "That was all there was nothing more. And I do realize Mr. Bolger that although it might be called carelessness or recklessness but it was still a most unfortunate accident."
His voice was calm and patient and for a moment it seemed that he was the adult rather than the bristling old hobbit before him.
"Rubbish!" Mr. Bolger glared at Frodo and then added while shaking his finger furiously at him. "I never want to see you come near my daughter again! Do you hear me? Get out!"
Frodo stood there for second more before shaking his head and leaving quickly from the room. Hazel wanted to go after him, but she couldn't leave Estella's side. Then again she desperately wished to know what had happened. Dr. Burrows who had remained quite during the whole exchange stepped forward and said that it would be best if the rest of the family leave as well. "Miss Bolger needs her rest."
Hazel left Estella's side regretfully. She tried not to catch either of the Bolger's eyes as she too quickly hastened to escape. Once outside Mrs. Bolger broke out in more tears and Mr. Bolger along with Fatty led her away. Hazel stood in the hallway wondering where Frodo had gone off. After searching the nearby sitting rooms, she ventured off in search of his room.
She knocked on the door politely before entering. Frodo was sitting in a chair his head between his hands.
"Frodo?"
"Please Hazel I wish to be alone", was his answer. Hazel walked over to him and bent down.
"Frodo please talk to me", she pleaded. You don't know how much it pains me to be beside you. You hurt me so much. But it wasn't his fault said another voice in her head. You hurt yourself.
"Hazel you have to believe me it was an accident! I would never ever wish for any harm to come down upon Estella! You know that!" Frodo lifted his head and Hazel was surprised to see shiny tears on his cheeks.
"No one is saying that you did it on purpose, Frodo", she assured him, hesitating before rubbing his back gently.
"The Bolger's believe it. And now Fatty will think I am out to get his sister! But they are right! They are right it was my fault. I should have been thinking. I should have made her scoot down the wall some more to avoid that patch of ice. She doesn't deserve to be in that bed."
"Frodo what happened please tell me."
Frodo finally looked up at her his deep blue eyes still glistening with tears. He told Hazel of the accident. "I will never forget that sound and the look she gave me right when she hit the wall. No never as long as I live." He bent down again his eyes closed, his shoulders shaking.
Hazel continued to rub his back gently her fingers shaking slightly. "What happened afterwards?"
"Well I tried to get her to come to, but she was gone. I feared the worse, so I scooped her up in my arms and ran as fast as I could, careful of Estella, and yelled for help. Once inside Brandyhall, Aunt Esmeralda told me to take her into that room back there. She told me that Merry could carry her, for he had shortly returned home, but I would not let anyone else touch her. We took her inside and Aunt Esmeralda told someone to get the doctor. Merry ran off to get the Bolger's and Pippin went to get Diamond and Alastor. The doctor arrived and so did the Bolger's they questioned me over what had happened and I felt ashamed to retell the story for I realized then and now that the most sensible thing to have done in order to have avoided this was to have her jump off the wall further down where there was no patch of ice! But no, I was not thinking then and now I have paid for my idiocy and so has she! I am a stupid fool!"
At this Frodo broke down and began to cry. Hazel for a minute didn't know what to do. She felt for Frodo and she desperately wished to have all the aches leave him. Not knowing what else to do she held him. If she were in his position that would be what she would want most, someone to hold and comfort you.
Frodo, to Hazel's surprise, hugged her back in return and cried on her shoulder. The tears that Hazel had tried so hard to hold back were now falling freely and she mentally scolded herself for not being stronger and fighting them back. She continued to rub his back in a motherly fashion as he sobbed into her shoulder.
"There, there Frodo you are not a fool! On the contrary you are the farthest hobbit I know that can be called a fool!"
"I just wished that it hadn't happened! Estella is just so very dear to me, and I can't bear the thought that something bad has happened to her, and that I could have prevented it!"
Hazel merely closed her eyes and hugged him tighter. Hazel's heart was thumping fast as she felt his body so close to hers. His arms around her were so comforting even though she was the one doing the comforting and not he. It felt so right to be there in each other's arms. After a while they broke apart, Frodo sniffed and smiled at Hazel. She still had some stray tears running down her face. He gently brushed them aside. Hazel's heart gave a leap.
"Thank you", he whispered his thumb lingering on her face.
"For what?" She whispered back looking into his eyes, being very well aware of how close their faces were from each other.
"For everything, for being here for me, and comforting me. Frankly I must say that I am ashamed at how I acted. I should have been the one comforting you."
Hazel smiled at this, and for a moment wished that he would have been comforting her. How she longed to feel his arms around her again, and now all her anger had subsided. Frodo's thumb was still on her cheek when they heard a knock at the door in which he took it off quickly.
Diamond, Alastor, Pippin, and Merry had come into the room. Frodo stood up from the floor where he and Hazel had been sitting. He helped Hazel up offering his hand to her. Diamond stepped forward and threw her arms around Hazel giving her a comforting hug.
"Hazel, Frodo there is something that we need to tell you", said Diamond. She turned back to the others a worried expression on her face.
Alastor stepped forward. "She woke up for just a minute, long enough for her to drink some water. The doctor says she is going to be fine, though he is a little worried. He doesn't want her to fall asleep because she might be in danger of not waking up again. He says that the wound to the head is not as deep as he had feared. Though it might have caused some brain damage, though it can not be certain until she is fully awake. Mrs. Bolger was taken home since she is already rather sick with a cold and Mr. Bolger fears that she might get worse. Fatty is going to stay with her tonight, and Mrs. Brandybuck has offered to stay with her as well. We too have decided to stay with her the night and were just coming in here to let you know." Alastor finished speaking.
Hazel nodded and was just about to go out the door when a thought occurred in her mind.
"Frodo", she said turning to face him "aren't you suppose to return to Bag End today?"
"Ah, yes that was the plan but giving the circumstances I would much rather not. I feel that Estella's condition is my responsibility contrary what others might or might not think, so I plan to stay here until she is recovered, or at least until she is out of harms way. I already arranged to leave with Alastor when he returns to Bywater. Bilbo will have to travel alone this time I am afraid."
Hazel nodded at this and she couldn't help but feel happy to see that Frodo was still going to remain here in Buckland a while longer. She scolded herself for thinking such happy and selfish thoughts at this time of sorrow. But all the same a small smile tugged her lips as she went out the door. I wonder if he feels the same.
AN: Okay I know that this for some might be a little shall we say...overwhelming and drastic. But you shall see that Estella's accident is going to play a role in the story. For those of you who are wondering and doubting some things let me make it perfectly clear. This is a Frodo and original character fanfiction. Therefore Frodo will get with an original character and I think we all know who that is. I just want to make sure that people won't start getting any ideas about there being a change in plans or something. I hope you enjoyed this chapter it was a long one and an emotional one. I can only hope that it wasn't too cheesy and overdramatic. Please review!
