Disclaimer-If I own Saiyuki, Hakkai will jump out of the television screen and do a striptease... ok, I wanna own Saiyuki, but for now, I don't

Ditto all past stuff

Chapter Three- Acceptance

Hakkai

I knew it would happen, I just knew it. Some day, this was going to happen. Some day, I would have to finally face up to the fact that though I had once loved Kanan, I would someday have to face the fact that by some cruel twist of fate, I have fallen in love with Sanzo.

So now, perhaps, would be the time to tell him. I opened my mouth to speak, but as they say, "Heaven makes a sport of us poor mortals." It began to rain. Lightning flashed, followed shortly by the crash of thunder. And the droplets of rain fell.

All the memories, the damned memories of the day I killed the thousand demons, and the day Kanan died, all came back. The same heartbreak, unlessened even over the many years, came back. The part of me that felt like it was just too noisy, so noisy, that it was too much, felt that I was about to lose my mind, came back.

Why couldn't they just keep quiet? Couldn't a person cry in peace? Just mourn the loss of the only thing that ever mattered in peace. The scar on my stomach ached again, throbbing painfully like my heart when Kanan slipped the dagger off its sheath and killed herself.

A tear slid down my cheek, and as though the rain wasn't enough, there came something else, a name. "Hakkai!" Who was Hakkai? I am not Hakkai, I am Gonou. Gonou! Can't you hear me? Stop calling me. Stop, stop!

I could hear, as vividly as ever, the cries, the screams and curses of the thousand youkais I slaughtered in my mad frenzy. "HAKKAI!" the name was bellowed out. I slowly forced my eyes open. Ah yes, I was called Hakkai. But who called me? Sanzo?

And slowly, the full view comes in sight. I look up at the concerned face. Perhaps I should just learn to let go, and accept the future. The future that is Sanzo.


A/N:

Sorry if this is crap. I wanted to totally change the Ch3. It sucked. Ch4 rewritten shall come soon.