Love Meadowes: Love is like an Airplane

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is still not mine….

The two friends walked down the halls towards Gryffindor Tower, dinner had most certainly ended by that time.

"How could you ask me if I like Potter!" Lily hissed at Dorcas.

She shrugged. "I dunno. I just wanted to know."

"He's been practically stalking me! And that arrogant prick is always showing off on his stupid broom or hexing people in front of me!"

"Don't combust, Lily-bo-billy, I just wanted to know. He is pretty cute, you know." Dorcas added. "Not everyone has the privilege of having one of the hottest boys in school stalking them."

"Beauty is only skin deep."

"But he seems to really like you." Dorcas complained.

"But I seem to really not like him."

"Seem?"

"AGH! I just plain don't like him. Can we change topics now?" Lily asked, sighing.

"Alrighty! How are those warts on your finger you had last year? I knew it was true when Daniel Marccabs called you a worry wart in first year."

"DORY!"

----

"Bad news, gang." Dorcas announced once they'd all settled into the 'R.R.' as the Marauders continued to call it, further annoying Dorcas, who wanted to know what it stood for.

"You've decided that I'm hotter then James, and therefore would be a more compatible match with Lily?" Sirius joked.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "It's bad enough you drag me out here, but you could spare me the corny jokes."

"Oh good, I much prefer the cheesy ones, anyway." Remus said gleefully.

"If Sirius had an off switch, believe me, we'd turn him off." James replied.

"What's the bad news?" Peter asked, he was sitting on the end, beside Sirius, and was feeling vastly excluded.

"I'm afraid Lily completely loathes you, James."

"Oh, congratulations!" Sirius cried. "You've moved up from 'hated with the heat of a thousand burning hair curlers' to 'loathed like five hundred toads in your hairbrush'!"

"I don't see much of a difference." Remus replied, raising his brows. "Considering James uses neither curlers nor hairbrushes."

"Hey!"

"Actually, he has a set of hair curlers in his trunk…" Peter began.

"Hey! I told you guys why I had them!" James objected. "I-"

"Ooookay!" Dorcas interrupted. "As fascinating as this is, how about we move along?"

"Brilliant idea!" Sirius said. "But don't worry, Prongs, we'll get back to those curlers eventually."

"So, have you all been keeping up your charts?" Dorcas asked, straitening her papers and trying to act professional.

"Of course Professor Meadowes." James replied.

Dorcas raised her brows. "Alright…. You!" She said suddenly, pointing at Remus.

"Me?"

"Yes! Collect the papers!"

The others snickered as Remus got out of his seat and picked up the other papers before tossing them to Dorcas. Dorcas pretended to look through them about five times, pursing her lips.

"Good, all of them are here."

Dorcas turned to a large calk board on one side of the room. She frowned and muttered a spell softly. Then she tapped a paper twice with her wand, and did the same to the board. Suddenly, the words sprung up on the calk board. She did the same to all the papers until they were neatly lines up along the board.

"Alright, kiddies." Dorcas began, looking over the charts. "See any patterns?"

"I do." Peter squeaked.

"Okay, shoot."

"Almost all of the conversations, that aren't about school, are with you."

Dorcas frowned looking at the charts again. It appeared that Peter was indeed correct. It never really occurred to Dorcas how little they branched out, even if Lily was a social butterfly.

"Alright, anything else?"

"Lily hates Transfiguration?" Remus offered.

Dorcas shrugged. "Yeah. A bit."

"How about the fact that Lily is the most gorgeous creature on earth?" James offered.

Dorcas sighed and rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks, way to make a girl feel good about herself." Dorcas sighed again and pulled her legs onto the desk and crossed them. "Alright, let's move on, shall we? Let's discuss… Your behavior."

"What's wrong with out behavior?" Sirius demanded in mock outrage.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Oh, nothing. Aside from the fact that you laughed when Lily was soaked in pudding yesterday!"

"It was funny." Peter protested.

"I know it was." Dorcas snapped. "But it wasn't for Lily! If you want to get on her good side, you don't laugh when she's humiliated! You kindly comfort her. Get it?"

"So, you're saying that next time, you want me to take her to the Head's washroom and clean her hair for her, instead of you?" James asked, grinning.

"That's exactly what I'm saying!"

The four boys laughed.

---

Dorcas walked down the halls beside Lily. She couldn't help but try looking for the Marauders, to see if they were secretly stalking them, still. Some of the conversations they'd mentioned on their charts had rather bothered Dorcas. She'd had those in private with Lily! Not that there was anything very embarrassing about them, but she could have sworn they'd been alone.

"Who are you looking for?" Lily asked, cocking her head. "Dedalus?" She offered, grinning.

Dorcas scowled. "Eww… No. I broke up with him, remember? I told you on the train."

"Oh, yeah." Lily replied off handedly. "I forgot. He was a nice guy, though. You should have stayed with him."

"I happen to take great interest in your love life. The least you could do is pay attention to mine." Dorcas replied, acting horrified.

Lily grinned. "Sorry, I know you pour over your notes wondering where my relationship with Nathaniel, or Edward, or anyone else had gone wrong."

Dorcas looked at her in mock out-rage. "I do not pour, merely examine thoroughly. Besides, they were nice fellows, too. And then you up and dump them on their rumps for no plausible reason."

Lily shrugged. "There were nice, you're right. I probably should have come up with a better reason, but I just didn't find them interesting. As much as it makes me sound like a whore, I have to say that I was bored with them."

Dorcas raised her brows and wiggled them. "Lily, when did you become a woman?"

"You know very well that I got my period when I was fourteen."

Dorcas sighed. "You're no fun."

"Then why must you insist on being my best friend?"

"Because I am."

Lily rolled her eyes and stepped into the Defense Against the Dark Art classroom. They both sat at their desk in the middle. At the front was no good because Professor Werllis had a tendency to make the 'front rowers' to come up and help give an example. While in the back, you couldn't really hear anything with the Marauders joking about and making a mess.

Professor Werllis was actually a very good teacher. He kept his classes interesting and informative. He could be strict if he wanted to be, but, unlike McGonagall, he'd learned long ago to just ignore the Marauders and let them goof off in class.

Today, though, they appeared to be extra annoying. James and Sirius were having a contest on who could shoot more small balls of paper at each other, occasionally hitting the unfortunate people forced to sit near them. Remus was taking notes studiously, as usual, but Peter was cheering for… Well, Sirius and James, depending on who was winning. Fair-weather friend, eh?

Dorcas sighed and tapped her quill absent-mindedly to her parchment, leaving a dark blob in the middle of her heading. She glanced down at her paper, and growled in frustration. Then she sighed and tapped her quill to the side of the ink well, to get any excess ink off. Lily, of course, took no notice, as she was absorbed in taking down every single word, cough, sneeze, um, and sigh.

Dorcas sighed again. She could have sworn that Lily wrote it down.

----

Dorcas walked down the hall with Lily. She checked her watch. They still had about ten minutes before their next class, Ancient Runes, because someone has spilled dragon blood in potions and melted half the cauldrons and a lot of people's shoes. Dorcas couldn't wait for Ancient Runes, though, it was her favorite subject. Mostly because she was the top of the class, though. For some reason, the words seemed to make sense, and it was one of the few, well, only subject that Dorcas helped Lily in. And Dorcas was strangely good at the most pointless subject at Hogwarts. Divination. Lily suspected it was because old Professor Sinnisil liked Dorcas because her first name was Dorria, also nicknamed Dory. Though, Dorcas had to admit that she liked Divination, and was pretty sure she'd seen a few things that had come true.

Anyway, they were walking down towards the Ancient Runes classroom. They passed the large oak doors of the Great Hall, and suddenly there was a burst of laughter in the otherwise peaceful area. Many people turned to look curiously towards the cracked doors of the room. Dorcas frowned, as did Lily.

"What's going on in there?" Lily demanded.

Dorcas shrugged. "I dunno. I'll look."

Dorcas dragged Lily over to the door and peered in through the crack. Lily squirmed and tried to push Dorcas aside so she could see too. Finally, she gave up and left Dorcas look.

"What is it? Is someone doing something?"

Dorcas looked inside and gasped. Severus Snape was hanging from his pants on one of the chandeliers in the Great Hall, while James, Sirius, Peter laughed. Remus looked rather guilty, and remained buried in his book at the table. Meanwhile, assorted students were laughing, even a few Slytherins.

"What is it?" Lily insisted.

Dorcas glanced at her. If Lily knew James was tormenting someone, her cause would be ruined.

"No, it's nothing. I don't see anything, someone probably just told a really good joke."

Lily blinked and shrugged. "If you say so. Are you sure, though?"

"Yeah, nothing looks out of the ordinary-"

There was another burst of laughter.

"I'm going to look, just in case-" Lily began, but Dorcas cut her off.

"No need! I'll go see what's so fun! Just… Just stay here, okay? No, wait, how about you go up to class and save us some seats, huh?"

Lily blinked. "No, it's alright, I'll go look and you can go save seats. You're the one that wanted to go early, anyway, you I don't like it much."

Dorcas shook her head. "No, no." She insisted as the laughter continued. "You go on up, I'll check, besides, I, uh, left my… Timeline for History of Magic in there!"

"Um, okay." Lily replied hesitantly.

Dorcas grinned and Lily and pushed the door open just enough for her to slip though. She shut it quickly and loudly.

The Marauders were looking at her with slightly amused expressions. James lazily spun his wand and Snape did a back flip in the air. Sirius laughed, and Peter joined in heartily.

"Come to see the show, Dory-bo-bory?" Sirius asked.

Dorcas glared at them. She stalked right up to them and said rather casually, "You're lucky I'm not Lily, or she'd be handing out detentions for you all, and reducing you to 'despised like one thousand burning toads' or whatever it was Sirius said."

"Actually, Dory dear, it was 'hated with the heat of a thousand-'" Sirius drawled.

"Who cares?" Dorcas demanded, sighing. "Anyway, you know Lily hates it when you torture people. So stop it."

James raised his brows. "Lily's not around, though. So why can't I? The slimy bastard deserves it anyway."

"What for?"

James traded a look with Sirius. Peter glanced uneasily at Remus, who had gone a bit more pale then usual. Suddenly, Dorcas felt out of the circle.

"Let him go, James." Remus commanded.

James released his spell and Snape dropped from the lessened height of six feet. Then the Marauders turned and stalked away. Dorcas blinked, standing in the hall with great confusion. Did they actually… Listen to her?

-----

"So, are you going to stop tormenting the Slytherins?" Dorcas demanded at the next meeting.

The Marauders all exchanged different expressions. Dorcas wasn't sure what to make of it. Remus seemed nervously wanting to do what Dorcas had said, while Sirius looked dead set against it. James looked troubled, and Peter was looking hopefully between his friends, as if expecting to find the answer written on the their faces.

"Well…" James began. "We'll stop… Unless they deserve it."

Sirius frowned. "When do they not?" He demanded.

"We could really get in trouble-" Remus began.

"But what if they deserve it? Snape deserved it after what he said about you, Moony!" Sirius snapped. "That slimy git had no right! And jabbing at you about that-" Sirius broke off rather quickly as James gave him a swift kick in the shin. "Bloody hell, Prongs!"

Dorcas stared at him. The others did too. After a moment of silence, Sirius seemed to calm down enough to realize what he'd said.

"Er… What?" Dorcas asked.

"Nothing." James said quickly. Too quickly.

"No, really, what?" Dorcas insisted.

"Nothing." Peter confirmed.

Did they not realize it only made her more curious? But none of them seemed to be giving in any time soon, so she dropped it for the moment.

"James." She said suddenly, rounding on him.

He looked a bit startled. "Uh, yeah?"

"I was thinking, and we needed to come up with a plan, you know, steps for 'winning the Flower's heart'."

"Uh, okay."

"So, since you've already won so many hearts, I'll need to know which ones."

"What do you mean?" Peter asked.

"I want a list of your past girlfriends, James."

"Erm, and what will you get from with information again?" Remus said, sounding a bit confused.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Okay, basically, I want to know what they thought was so appealing about you."

"Ahhh…" Sirius said, eyes twinkling. "Well, that may take a while. Sit with us at dinner and we'll give you the list."

"Has he really dated that many people?"

"Only topped by the best." James said, sounding rather proud.

"By the best, he means me." Sirius explained, earning a glare from James.

----

"Hey! Dory!" Lily greeted, waving at Dorcas as she entered the Great Hall. Lily was sitting close to the end of the table, and had been previously chatting with a fifth year girl. Dorcas smiled at Lily, silently annoyed at how outgoing Lily could be. Dorcas barely ever spoke with any girl that wasn't in their year.

"I saved you a seat!" Lily chirped.

Dorcas smiled and shook her head. "Sorry, I promised someone I'd sit with them."

Lily looked surprised. "Oh, well, who? Where are they?"

"Erm, um, Remus, he asked me to help…. Him… In… Ancient Runes!"

Lily blinked. "I don't think he takes that…"

"Yes, he, uh, doesn't! But- He… Was interested and asked me to tell him about it a little."

Lily shrugged and smiled. "Alright, see you at the dorm, then."

Dorcas smiled nervously and scuttled off towards the Marauders. Peter and Remus sat across from James and Sirius. Remus scooted over a bit and Dorcas managed to squeeze in next to him.

"So, got the list?"

"'Course I do." James replied. He drew out a foot and a half long parchment. The names were written in a tiny neat print, only obtained by Remus or Lily (it was obviously Remus in this case). They were two order columns on both sides. Dorcas gaped.

"You've dated all these people?" Dorcas gasped.

James shrugged. "Some of them were only one date. It took two classes for us to think of them all. I still think I missed some from fourth year."

Remus glanced at the parchment. "I think Sirius put down some of his own girlfriends."

"Sirius!"

"I swear, mate, they're all yours! Besides, Moony, why'd you write them if you think they're mine?"

"I can write down what you're saying without having to actually listen, you know." Remus said calmly.

"If they're all Prongs's, then what's Hestia Jones doing on here?" Peter asked, raising his brows.

James scowled. "Sirius, you dated that hog?"

Dorcas glowered at him, but James didn't notice. Hestia happened to be a bit on the chuddy side, but there was no need to insult her! In her brief encounters with Hestia, she'd been perfectly nice and sweet girl.

Sirius shrugged. "Well, she does have nice hair, you know."

Dorcas blinked. She'd thought Sirius was into bottle blondes that burned your eyes from the brightness of their hair, despite the fact that their ordinary brown roots were showing. Oh yes, and girls with long rich locks that cascaded down their shoulders like a waterfall. Hestia, on the other hand, was a brunette with a faint blonde tint. Her hair was to just above her shoulders, and it was a messy frazzle around her head.

"You like her hair?" Dorcas demanded.

Sirius shrugged. "When she straitens it, it's very pretty. And she always does it for me."

"You only went out with her once." Replied Remus, who had already begun eating.

"And what a lovely one time it was." Sirius said in mock wistfulness.

"Right. Anyway, most of these girls I've dated." James said, thrusting the parchment at Dorcas.

"Great!" Dorcas said, eagerly looking over the list. She wasn't surprised to find Celica Ranalon's name written in neat scrawl at the top.

---

Dorcas had passed Celica a note during History of Magic, which was the only class she still had with the girl. Dorcas wondered why Celica was even taking History of Magic. Her ambition had, apparently, been to become a famous robes designer.

Drocas checked her watch. She'd already been waiting ten minutes. She sighed and leaned against the bookshelves. Suddenly, the doors burst open and the Hufflepuff flounced inside.

She was a sparkling blonde beauty. She had big boobs, big hair, big butt, big hips, and a small brain. She was like a Barbie, except that she didn't fall over because her proportions were physically impossible. Celica glanced around a couple times before spotting Dorcas. Instantly, she swaggered over.

"What do you want? I can't be here all day, you know. I hate the library." Celica announced loudly. Madam Prince glared at the girl over her spectacles.

Dorcas sighed and rolled her eyes. She led Celica over to a table and sat across from her.

"Okay, here's the deal. I want to know everything you liked about James."

"Potter?"

"Is there any other?"

"Well, there was, like, this one, who was here, like, when we were in first year, and I kinda, like, had a crush on him, but he was like, a seventh year, and that's totally like, ew, you kno-"

"As fascinating as that was, could you please tell me what you like about James Potter?"

"Why?"

"I'm setting up a blind date." Dorcas lied, but took the idea into consideration.

"Oohhh. Who's the lucky girl?"

"Just tell me about James." Dorcas said, pulling out a small notebook and wetting her quill.

"He's a fab kisser. And his hair is just, like, sooo soft. It's like velvet! Or rabbit's fur!" She cried excitedly. Suddenly, she dug into her tiny pink purse and drew out a small strip of rabbit fur. She held it out to Drocas, who realized it was actually a scarf.

"Feel this! It's just like James's hair!"

Dorcas raised her brows and pushed it away. "Right. Thanks, it's okay."

Dorcas watched Celica stuffed the scarf back in her tiny pink purse, and she wondered how Celica had managed to even fit it in there in the first place. What else was she keeping in that thing?

"So, you need anything else? 'Cause, me and my girls are gonna, like, jet, 'kay?"

Dorcas raised her brows. "Right. Okay, you can go." She replied, glancing down at her three bullets on the page.

Once the blonde had flounced out of the doors, after stopping to flirt with several boys, Dorcas picked up the parchment with the list of James's past conquests. She drew a small check next to Celica's name and glanced at the next one. It was going to be a long day. Good thing it was Saturday.

----

Once the last brunette with long legs sauntered out of the library, Drocas reviewed her notes.

- Good Kisser

- Soft hair (velvet/rabbit fur)

- Good shag

- Good Reputation

- Popular

- Quidditch Captian

- Hott/Cute

- Friends with Sirius(?)

In short, to say, it was not very informative. All three hundred and sixty-four girls had said something along the same lines.

Dorcas looked over the list once more, just to make sure she hadn't forgotten anyone. It'd taken about two weeks to locate and interview all the girls, but she'd managed it, and felt it was a waste of her time. She noticed that she'd skipped over Hestia Jones. She frowned. They'd said that Sirius had dated her, once, at least. Dorcas couldn't help wondering why.

Hestia was a quiet, timid girl. She seemed self-conscious a lot, and buried herself in her books as refuge. She was perfectly nice, but shy. Dorcas rather liked her. So why on earth would Hestia Jones date Sirius Black, even if it had been a one-time thing? Maybe to boost her self-esteem? Sirius dated sluts, whores, or anyone who didn't mind being on his rotation list.

Maybe Dorcas would look into it in during her free time. But next on her list, was to find out why Lily disliked James so much.

---

"Hey, Lily!" Dorcas chirped, sitting beside Lily in the commons.

Lily glanced up from her homework to acknowledge Dorcas's presence, and then dove back into her mountain of parchments.

"Can I ask you something?" Dorcas continued.

"You just did." Lily replied, flipping open a book.

"Something else."

"Sure."

"Why do you refer to James and Sirius, Remus, and Peter by their last names?"

"I don't call Remus by his last name." Lily commented.

"Yeah, whatever. But what about the others?"

Lily shrugged. "First names is too personal, and I guess you just call your enemies by their last names, you know? Besides, her doesn't deserve to be called by his first name, anyway."

"You mean James?"

"No I mean Dumbledore." Lily replied sarcastically. "Yes, I mean James."

"Why not Sirius or Peter?"

"Well, them too, but just, not as much." Lily added, flipping through the pages of her book.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Lily demanded, starting to become irritated with Dorcas's interrogation.

"Okay, okay. But why not Remus?"

"I don't know. He's nice and not at all self-absorbed; he's really sweet and smart, and-" Lily broke off abruptly, diving back into her book, as if she'd just discovered something very interesting. Dorcas raised her brows skeptically, and noticed Lily's face was a few shades redder then usual.

"And?" Dorcas prompted.

"And nothing. Besides, why do you call them by first name, anyway? Since when do you care so much, all of a sudden." Lily snapped.

Dorcas blinked, shrugging. Lily had changed it around so Dorcas was the one being questioned. Dorcas felt like there was something big she was missing out on. She'd play along, for now. "I don't know. I call everyone by their first name, I guess."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Whatever." Then she dove back into the reassuring pages of her book.

"Love is like an airplane." Dorcas proclaimed thoughtfully. "There are ups and downs, and a whole lot of turbulence."

Lily glanced at Dorcas again, looking puzzled. "Where did that come from?"

Dorcas blinked at Lily. "Did I say that out loud?"


AN: Yeah, another not-so-great chapter at the beginning at least. I don't know what was wrong with me. Anyway, I re-read chapter two and found a gazillion typos. It must have been an off day. I fixed them. Okay, now to the next chapter!

Waterfaerie15: Thanks, I like being original. I like reading things with a twist on them that make them interesting.

Obsessivescottichdemocrat: I'm sorry if I typed your name wrong, it's dreadfully long. Anyway, I'm here to entertain. Thank you for adding me to your favorites!

Lovin'it: Thanks! Don't worry, I will. I have no intention of shortening the chapters.

Mrs.KristinePotter: Ooh! All my fans are making me feel so loved! Thanks for adding me to your favorites list too! I like the longer chapters, too. And my next update is… Now! Yay.