Re-posting this without the lyrics.
Truth's Defeat.
Desperation clawed at him, urged him to do something, anything. He didn't. Instead he stood sill, as rigid as stone with his fists twisted into tight balls as he fought to control himself. All the time, doing absolutely nothing to prevent this savage act which was about to unfold before him. He was completely helpless as he herd the deafening bang emit from the weapon, that deadly weapon he himself had assembled. He hadn't been watching the suspect, he had known what was going to happen, he didn't need to see it. Instead his vision was fixed on the target. Every cell in his body willing God to prevent this act, to save him from his awaiting misery. Only God didn't help him, and he didn't move. He couldn't, out of fear of the consequences if he disobeyed. He herd the bang and watched the explosion of red erupt from the senators chest through terrified eyes. From that moment on, Jack Bauer's life was a blur.
He curled up a little tighter on the thin mattress in an attempt to warm himself, the shaggy brown blanket not doing a very good job. He had never missed his bed as much as he did now, more so than he ever had away on covert operations, nothing compared to this new sense of home sickness. The irony of it, he was only 30 minutes away from his home, but he was sure he wouldn't be seeing it any time soon.
He was exhausted, his eyes wouldn't be able to open themselves if he tried; yet his brain couldn't shut down and give him the luxury of sleep. It was still tossing around questions about his future, thoughts of Terri and Kim, a mix of emotions concerning them were still playing around in his mind. Relief that they had been found, worry that they may still be targeted, the pain of knowing he couldn't see them and help them deal with the emotional agony they were no doubt in due to their ordeal.
Surely things would be even worse for them now, knowing he was under arrest, but not knowing why or where he was. He knew no information would be spared to them, this was going to be as 'hush hush,' as possible, even to his family. They would be so confused and it tore him up knowing he couldn't be there for them now, when they would certainly need him the most. On top of this, knowing that they were only suffering because of his actions and his job... that it was all his fault, it was too much.
They needed him now, and he was stuck in jail. All of the promises he vowed to fulfil when Terri had accepted him back into there life's only weeks before, and he was already screwing them up. Perfect Jack, just perfect.
He still couldn't believe they really thought he had done it, killed the man he was assigned to protect. But they did and here he was, LA County Lock Up, his very first night. Secret Service had dropped him off here after over ten hours of heavy questioning. He had been surprised when they transported him here and not to CTU. CTU had a small lock up just like this and they could have easily detained him there.
Only this was serious, they had even demanded that he be placed in the most secure set up they had. Being a small local jail, that had consisted of a solitary cell with guards on post 24 hours, constantly. CTU was more secure than this, but they wanted to keep him isolated, which may not happen there, with 'trouble makers' like Nina who would surely break the rules to speak to him, hear his side and then go on a mission to prove his innocence.
Proving his innocence was exactly what they didn't want to happen, which was why he wouldn't be talking to anyone who could help him anytime soon. He hadn't even been given a lawyer, but that was because he had both protested and co-operated immediately. That and that fact that he was technically owned by the government anyway, so they could do whatever they wanted with him.
That he would be charged for the murder of David Palmer had been made crystal clear. He ran the events over and over in his mind, his time with the officials from different sections of law enforcement agencies, the countless questions they had thrown at him, the accusations, the demands that he admit to his crime. They didn't believe him, his fingerprints were on the weapon, the same weapon he was found with mere moments after the attack. They alone had sealed his fate...
The secret service agent had charged at him seconds after the attack, realising what had happened, but it was too late. The gun had been tossed into his hands, Martin Belkan the 'photographer,' had already disappeared through the madness to safety. If the agents that apprehended him had listened... he may not be in this mess, they may have found him.
The first man had charged him to the ground while the second had secured the weapon, both frantically radioing others for help, they had the killer. Not the suspect, the killer. It was guilty until proven innocent, only they didn't intend to even try prove his innocence in this case.
Jack had immediately claimed his innocence, warning them of the man who had escaped, urging them to search the area for him. The butt of an angry agents weapon had landed on his face in an attempt to shut him up. They were angry and frustrated which he understood, too angry to have any patience with him. Instead of listening to his claims and following the lead they cuffed him and dragged him into a back room of the power plant, the same man landing another blow with the gun to his stomach as he had protested some more.
It didn't stop him, it encouraged him. He had hoped they would have picked up on his persistence and check out the lead, even though the man would have already slipped away amidst the chaos, but they didn't. They weren't open to suggestions, especially not from the man who had out-smartened them and killed the man they were sure would win the presidency, the man they too were supposed to protect. Due to his actions, they had failed there assignment, which was another reason he was treated in such away. They were angry, and made sure to direct it at him.
He had realised this and changed his plan, now demanding they send out teams for his family. He refused to speak until a representative from Division arrived, and listened to his desperate claims about his missing family. Brad had acted right away, sending out four teams of search and rescue, knowing it was the only way Jack would respond to them. A few hours later Jack was calmed when he was allowed a teary conversation with both Terri and Kim, as long as he told them nothing of his predicament. They had found them. Alive. Thank God.
Then the interrogation had really begun. More questions, demands, enquiries, whatever you want to call them. It had been non stop, and nobody was willing to hear Jack's side of it. They had a new angle to play it from, now they understood Jack's situation. Maybe he had been controlled by the man holding his family hostage.. and Jack had killed Palmer to keep them safe. It was a good motive, it was what they were no doubt going to settle on.
And why not, Jack wondered, when it made so much more sense than what actually had happened. He armed a weapon and gave it to an assassin to keep his family safe. The assassin then shot Palmer, then handed the weapon back to Jack, who again took it to keep his family safe. The assassin then disappeared. That compared to Jack arming and firing the weapon killing Palmer, to save his family. It wasn't hard to know which one was going to spin and which was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. It was he who was going to drown.
The trial had been long, too long for Kimberly to sit through, which is why Jack was glad she had accepted his request that she sit it out. She hadn't wanted to, but she had respected her fathers wishes. He was only in his predicament because he did what he had to, for his family. Even if that had meant setting himself up to be framed for murder. She didn't doubt for a second her father was innocent, he wouldn't kill someone. That was what tore Jack up the most, he was filled with pride that his daughter held such a view of him, but the guilt that he wouldn't correct her impression of him and tell her the truth...
Although he hadn't killed this man, he had killed others, but he couldn't face up to that with his daughter. Maybe this was his punishment for that, for the deaths he had caused, and deceiving his family into believing he was a good man?
He hadn't been able to talk Terri out of coming. His darling Terri, she had been wonderful throughout this entire ordeal. She was only granted one hour every three days with Jack leading up to the trial, and was there without fail each time. Somehow she managed to make him smile each visit, which never failed to amaze him.
She was brilliant, everything about her was. The way she could just sit there, talking to him from across the metal table, ignoring the presence of the two guards that flanked him at either side. She never let her emotional duress show to him, always held a soft smile on her face; that was why she was so amazing, he thought. She knew in her heart he didn't do it, and even though the news claimed he did, she was there for him... She made sure she saw him smile before each visit ended, keeping his hopes alive and his spirit high.
She hid her pain away from him, knowing how it would upset him if she knew of the anger she held inside her. Anger at the government, this unjust system which was keeping her husband away from his family. She respected his wished and didn't bring Kim with her to the visits, not until the last one, the very last one before the trial. She had allowed her depressed daughter to come along for that one, knowing it could be the last time she would see her father outside of prison. Jail was bad enough, but Terri had managed to convince herself it was only temporary before the trial. If he did get sentenced to prison, it was final. She hadn't thought about that yet, she couldn't. She didn't want to even consider prison as a possibility, she couldn't deal with the thought of that on top of everything else.
Yet it was made more than a possibility in the courtroom - it was settled. Life. Life sentence. In prison. Her husband. Receiving a life sentence for saving his family. She had been in shock in the courtroom and hadn't wanted to accept it. He could still remember how she had hustled her way to him in a screaming fury, distraught, hysterical... she had managed to fight her way past the guards shuffling Jack out of the court room and into his arms. It was the last contact she would have with him outside of some visiting room. She had yelled in rage, clinging to him, she couldn't make herself let go.
He could still see the horror in her eyes, the shock, she was stunned, totally unprepared. He closed his eyes as he fought to erase the image of her from his mind, it was a battle he lost every night, but he still fought until he slept. It was all he could do in here, in his cell, in this prison. Trapped with himself, kept away from his family. Time was endless...
He tried to block out the sad images and remember the good times, the happy times... although it was hard here, living in these conditions, all the while knowing what he had waiting for him at home; they seemed to be forever out of reach.
Prison, he knew, could be much much worse. His 'skills' had been examined before the sentence was declared, and had led to the decision that he be placed in solitary confinement for the duration of his stay. He was constantly stir crazy but he knew it could be a lot worse if he weren't here. Despite a few run ins with some 'patriotic' guards, things weren't too bad; but maybe that was because of how low his expectations had been.
Its not like there is anything you can look forward to about prison. Especially when you are sent there because of a crime you did not commit. With most evidence seeming to tip in his favour and still being punished... It was hard to accept, on those long and lonesome days, which made up the majority of his time here.
Sometimes Jack found himself dreaming of another life, the life he had before any of this happened. A time before he decided to work for his country and 'do the right thing.' The country he had given everything to protect, almost his marriage... and yet they had still screwed him over. Ironically his marriage was still there for him, clear in Terri's beautiful eyes each Tuesday she came for the permitted 40 minutes...
Isn't it funny, how life turns out... his strained relationship with his wife had become stronger, because he was in prison? He had told her, that very first visit that he wanted her to move on, with Kim. She shouldn't have to put her life on hold because of his actions. Terri had none of it, hearing his words alone had been enough to bring her to tears.
She knew he needed her now more than ever, and told him this. Just before she left, that very first day, the sorrow on her face as she had whispered in his ear, 'we'll be waiting for you.' He could still her it, echoing around his cell. The only glimmer of hope. He could get through this, he had to now. They hadn't left him, abandoned him, the one time when he could accept it. Now he had to hold onto his half of the deal, he had to keep going, plodding onwards. Eventually he would be with them again, and this time, he wouldn't let them go.
END
Thanks for reading this AGAIN!
Damn fan fic . Net not allowing lyrics!
Grr…
Version with lyrics can be found through the link in my profile.
Please R and R if you don't mind, and thanks everybody who reviewed this the first time around!
