CHAPTER one

The Heart of Gold drifted gently through the starry skies. A few scattered planets were around but nothing special was happening.

It gets boring when nothing special happens.

Everyone was on the bridge. Ford was leaning over the Guide trying to edit a few passages about rabbits and Arthur was leaning over his shoulder trying to see what he was doing.

Marvin, as usual, was slumped into a corner mumbling to himself about something or other. Trillian was collapsed in a nearly comfortable chair every now and then rubbing her lower jaw and wincing.

A local radio station was turned up almost as loud as it could possibly get and Zaphod was dancing around to the song playing. Eddie, the computer, was happily singing along to the song playing.

The song finally ended and Trillian sighed, finally getting a chance to speak but before she could start, another song came on.

"I'm sorry, baby, what you say?" Zaphod yelled over the music. Trillian repeated herself. "What?" Zaphod asked again.

Trillian pulled herself up and switched off the radio.

"I said 'my tooth really hurts. I think we should find a dentist.'" She stomped her foot and rubbed her jaw at the same time.

"Not the dentist! No way! Trill . . ." Zaphod pleaded.

"What's wrong with the dentist?" Trillian asked. Ford answered for him.

"When we were younger, we had a dentist obsessed with teeth. . ."

Trillian was confused. "Aren't all dentists . . ."

"I meant pulling teeth. Don't interrupt. So one day the dentist decides he's going to pull some teeth for no reason. Zaphod was his next patient." Ford finished as if that was all he needed to say.

"Oh my . . . how many?" Arthur asked.

"Five. No anesthetic either. Just pulled them out. Been 'fraid of the dentist ever since."

Zaphod nodded in agreement and got up off his knees.

"I'm sorry, Z. But this really hurts and I need to see someone." Trillian went up to the computer who was still happily humming the recent song. "Computer."

"Why yes! How can I help you this lovely . . ."

"Where's the . . . ow . . . nearest dentist?"

"Why, that's only ten miles away on the planet Toothicus Denticus. The tooth Capital of the Universe! Did you know . . ."

"Just show us the coordinates."

"Yeah, yeah. Alright." And the computer complied.

"Looks like were making a pit stop at the dentist." Ford sighed and sat down with the Guide again. Arthur continued looking over his shoulder. Marvin mumbled in the corner. Trillian collapsed in the nearly comfortable chair again and Eddie began to hum again as he steered the ship to the planet.

Zaphod fainted.

I need reviews! And suggestions for the CD. . . both would be gladly accepted . . . pu-leese!