A/n: I'm so sorry for the delay. It's been three months! I know it is inexcusable but I will try to excuse it with the generic excuse: I had writers block. It's actually true. Anyway here it is. Thanks to all reviewers and my lovely beta! You guys are fabulous. The title by the way is the name of a Franz Ferdinand song, no I can't pronounce it either. Now without further ado: chapter 11.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything that belongs to someone else namely J.K. Rowling and Franz Ferdinand.
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Auf Acshe
By Franz Ferdinand
You see her, you can't touch her
You hear her, you can't hold her
You want her, you can't have her
You want to, but she won't let you
You see her, you can't touch her
You hear her, you can't hold her
You want her, you can't have her
You want to, but she won't let you
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"Merlin's beard!" sighed Dora, collapsing into an armchair near Millie and Rusty.
Charlie, who had come in with her, sat down next to Millie who raised an eyebrow. "How were try-out?" she asked.
"Well—" Charlie began.
Dora cut him off, "—they were an absolute disaster. We had about fifty wanna-be Beaters who spent the entire hour bouncing Bludgers off each other trying to show off their 'talents'. They were terrible"
"They weren't as bad as the Chasers," Charlie pointed out. "Half of them couldn't even fly straight."
"All you need is what, three trainable fliers, right?" said Rusty.
Charlie nodded absently, studying his notes. "Hey Dora," he asked, "would it seem too biased if I made my brothers Beaters?"
Dora looked up at him and shook her head. "The best is the best, they were it."
He nodded. "How about Chasers?"
She thought for a moment then shook her head again. "Too much chaos, they were all over the place, I couldn't see a thing." Charlie sighed. "But I think I remember one girl that was pretty good," continued Dora. "I think her name was Angelina."
Charlie circled Angelina's name and picked up a rather large Potions book, groaning. "Too much to do! I have a Potions essay to write, Transfiguration questions to answer, a analysis of the Demiguise and its invisibility defense to write, and a whole chapter in Defense Against the Dark Arts to read, all by tomorrow."
"That's seventh year for you," said Rusty cheerfully, "work, work, work and then work some more."
"Thanks."
September was indeed a hectic month for Dora and her friends. Classes for seventh years were intensive and they spent their nights frantically attempting to finish their mountain homework for the next week of classes. During the weekend, however, Dora, Charlie, Rusty, and Millie found time to visit Hagrid, the Hogwarts gamekeeper.
It was drizzling as they made their way across the grounds to Hagrid's hut. Hagrid served them tea and treacle fudge (Dora slipped hers under the table and gave it to Fang) and they talked about their summer and his and about the year ahead.
As the others pulled on their cloaks, preparing to return to the castle, Hagrid pulled Dora aside. "When you goin' ter ask that boy of yers out on a date?" he asked bluntly.
"What boy of mine?"
Hagrid gave her a pointed look and jerked his head toward the door.
Dora's eyes widened. "Charlie! Why would you think that? He's just my friend, Hagrid, it's not like that," she protested.
Hagrid just shrugged. "Seems to be a bit of 'that' if yeh ask me."
She just gaped at him. "Oi, Dora!" hollered Rusty. "C'mon!"
"Trust me Hagrid, that's not gonna happen," Dora whispered to the big man who shrugged again. Dora threw her cloak on and hurried out to join her friends.
It was pouring now. The four of them bent their heads against the rain and began the trek up the hill to the castle. Fifteen minutes later, they sat in front of the fire in Gryffindor common room, drying themselves with bursts of hot air from their wands. Millie started her homework, Charlie picked up a book, and Rusty struck up a game of chess with Lano Smith. Dora sat a little off to one side on a small, red sofa, watching them all.
Rusty, an expert chess player, was creaming Lano. Dora smiled at the sight of Millie, always the responsible one of the bunch, diligently working on an essay for Herbology. Dora had been surprised when her friend had not been made Head Girl especially since she had been Gryffindor's sixth year, female prefect the year before. She turned her attention to Charlie, shaking her head. Hagrid was making assumptions. Charlie was good looking and about as sweet as they came but they were just friends.
One-by-one, they all drifted off to bed. Lano went first and Dora took his place playing chess. After beating her twice in rapid succession, Rusty went to bed as well. Charlie fell asleep on the couch and Millie and Dora poked him until he woke up and told him to go to bed. Millie went shortly thereafter and Dora followed her.
That night, Dora had the first dream.
In the dream she was standing in front of a mirror. She was in her natural form, long, dark hair, and gray eyes. Then her face and hair began to
change. At first, the changes were random. Blue eyes, brown hair. Pink hair, big nose. Purple eyes, bushy eyebrows. Then faces became familiar. She saw herself as many different people, faces flashing on and off, one right after another. She was her mother, then she was Millie, her father, Professor McGonagall, Charlie, Rusty. At first they were faces she saw often, friendly or a least not evil. Then the faces were those from her past. Lily, Remus, James, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius. There were tears streaming from the eyes of the ever-morphing face in the mirror but it kept changing. Now they were the people she feared and hated. Narcissa, Cassiopeia, Lucius, Rabastan, Sirius's mother, Calisto, Rodulphulus, Bellatrix. The mouth opened. She was screaming. The eyes flashed red…
She awoke, sweating, crying, screaming, kicking. Millie was by her bed, trying to calm her. Dora stopped screaming and kicking and let her friend sit on the edge of the bed. She was still crying.
"Bad dream?" Millie asked.
Dora nodded, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down. The other girls in the dormitory were sitting up and lighting their wands, confused.
"It's alright guys," said Millie quickly. "Go back to bed." The lights went out. "C'mon," whispered Millie, helping Dora up and leading her downstairs to the empty common room. Dora allowed her friend to push her into an armchair and drape a gold throw over her. Then Millie disappeared up the boy's staircase.
A minute or two later, she reappeared, two drowsy, ruffled boys behind her. The three of them silently slipped into the chairs around Dora's.
No one said anything, asked any questions, did anything at all. They just sat and Dora drew comfort from their presence. She knew they wouldn't try to make her say anything until she was ready and wouldn't leave her until they were certain that she was okay, even if she asked them to go.
"I was all alone," she whispered, " in a room with a mirror. I kept changing: my face, my hair, but I didn't have any control. Then I kept turning into people I know or knew. You guys, my parents. Then they were people who've died and Mum's family and…and I started crying and I was so scared because..." she trailed off as if unsure as to how to end her sentence.
There was silence for awhile. Not the uncomfortable kind, but the kind where everyone involved is simply trying to digest what the have just heard or said.
Finally Dora asked, "So what do you think it means?"
"You know Dora," said Charlie, "I reckon it doesn't really mean a thing."
"Yeah, I mean it was only a dream," said Rusty reassuringly.
"Yeah, it was only a dream," Dora repeated slowly.
But it kept coming back. Once or twice a month, sometimes more, the same dream slipped into the seventeen-year-old's mind as she slept. Every couple of weeks she awoke screaming and sweating and crying.
Eventually, she learned not to scream and her dreams no longer woke her roommates. She would lie in bed, tears rolling down her cheeks, alone. Not even Millie woke up, but she and the boys could always tell the next morning, just by the way Dora acted and by the slightly haunted look in her eyes. They never said anything but they knew and she knew they knew. They had a silent agreement between the four of them never to mention it again.
The first Hogsmeade weekend came early in October. As they were all currently single, the four of them went together. By two they had stocked up on enough candy, dungbombs, and school supplies to last them there whole lives or at least until their next visit. They made there way down the street toward the Three Broomsticks, arms laden with packages. They settled themselves down at a table in the back and ordered themselves mugs of butterbeer. Dora had had her dream the night before so she was much more subdued than usual. The four of them drank in silence for awhile until Charlie, in a random fit of combined curiosity and concern, broke their taboo.
"Dora," he said, "I think you should write them down."
"Huh?"
"Your dreamsI think you should write them down."
"Why?" she asked. "They're bad enough the first time around, I really don't need to relive them."
"Why do they scare you so much?"
"They don't scare me," said Dora defiantly, "they just aren't all that much fun."
"Well maybe if you write them down they won't be so…foreboding."
"Foreboding? I never said they were foreboding. Why do you use words like that anyway? Most people your age don't even know what it means," Dora, unwilling to discuss her dreams and her feelings about them, was growing annoyed.
Charlie knew he was pushing it. Rusty or Millie, who were both watching warily, would've dropped the subject, not wanting to become the object of their friend's wrath. Charlie however, ignored Dora's tone and her irritable comments.
"They do scare you, you said so" he told her. She began to protest but he cut her off; "My point is that if you wrote the dreams down it might help."
"I'd rather not, thank you," she answered coldly. "I need to get back to the castle, I've got homework."
She left.
Later that night, Charlie found her in the common room, working, for once in her life.
"Hey, mind if I sit down?" he asked.
She shrugged. He sat next to her and she stopped writing and turned to look expectantly at him.
"You don't talk about how you feel very often," he began. "You kind of shut down so I thought if you wrote things down at least you would have somewhere to put your thoughts."
"What are you? A shrink?" she asked, part kidding, part still annoyed.
He smiled slightly. "I'm sorry I pushed you," he said acknowledging the resentment.
"Apology accepted," she said slightly childishly.
"Good. I'm off to bed. Good night."
"Night, Charlie, thanks."
"For what?"
"Worrying about me."
He grinned. "Anytime, what are friends for?" He kissed her on the forehead and left.
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A/n: That's it. Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if Hagrid's accent was weird,I did the best I could. Review!
