Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or songs used in this chapter. The only thing mine is the story idea behind all this.
AN: Thanks greenglowchassis and locofiend13 for keeping reviewing. Its awesome to get feedback and to know that you guys enjoy my story. Its great inspiration to continue writing. This chapter was posted earlier but I decided to rewrite it just a little adding a song by Yellowcard "View from Heaven". The second one towards the end of the chapter is "Missing You" by Puff Daddy. I hope you like the new version of this chapter. R&R


I'm just so tired
Won't you sing me to sleep
And fly through my dreams
So I can hitch a ride with you tonight
And get away from the place
Have a new name and face
I just ain't the same without you in my life

Flashback

"Jesse's wh…? Jesse's what? Jesse can't be dead."

I felt hands trying to pull me into a hug.

"NO! Jesse can't be dead! You're fucking lying to me! Jesse can't be dead, he's fine."

"No he's not Leon. He's…he's gone."

Mia got to be wrong. Jesse can't be dead.

I feel her trying to hug me again and I move abruptly. I nod no.

"He can't be dead Mia, he just can't!"

"Ms. Torreto I'm sorry to inform you that your friend has passed away. We tried our best but there was nothing we could do."

I heard Mia break down and cry. I just stood there, numb.

"No. No. He can't be dead. That's impossible."

"I'm so sorry for your lost young man. We did all we could."

"Fuck you!"

"Leon! Leon wait! Where are you going! Leon!"

End Flashback

Late night drives
All alone in my car
I can't help but start
Singin' lines from all our favorite songs
And melodies in the air
Singin' life just ain't fair
Sometimes I still just can't believe you're gone

And I'm sure the view from heaven
Beasts the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
Down here

I still remember that day at the hospital. I remember my heart growing cold and my soul losing itself in misery.

Jesse wasn't just a friend, he was my brother. He trusted me to be there for him, to help him when he needed it, and that day I failed him.

If I could turn the hand of time backwards I would turn it back to that day. I would stop Jesse from running against Johnny. I would stop Dominic from trying to pull the last heist. I would try my damn hardest to have my brother back.

Jesse taught me the meaning of trust. He made me believe and trust in people again. He was the one that opened a new life for me. He was the one that made me stay with DT.

After my family turned their back on me, I found Jesse almost in the same shoes as I was. His mother was long gone and his dad was in and out of jail.

Just a kid, living in the streets, I met him and soon enough we became brothers. I promised him I would stand by him, be there for him when he needed me, and the day he needed me the most I failed him.

If only we could have put the heist to the side, we would have focused on finding Jesse before Johnny could lay hands on him. Dom's ambition got the worst of us that day.

I stormed out of the hospital that day and raced home expecting to see Jesse there. I was in denial. I didn't want to believe that my brother was gone. I wouldn't accept it.

I pulled up to our house and I saw his Jetta out in the front and I had half hoped that Jesse was there. But what I saw next killed me inside.

There, in the front side walk by the stairs, was blood. It was his blood there. I saw his Jetta along with some windows on the house had bullet holes. I wished it was me who was dead and not Jesse.

I feel your fire when it's cold in my heart
And things sort of start
Reminding me of my last night with you
I only need one more day
Just one more chance to say
I wish that I had gone up with you too

You won't be coming back
And I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye

I hope that all is well in heaven
'cause it's all shot to hell down here
I hope that I find you in heaven

'cause I'm so lost without you down here

The day we buried Jesse was the toughest. That day I not only buried my brother, I buried a part of my soul, a part of my being.

After the ceremony I took off and I roamed the streets to find a way to take away all the crap I was feeling.

If Jesse wasn't there to live his life to the fullest like he always seemed to do, why did I have to live too? That night I was seeking death, driving the streets at limits unthinkable.

But instead of physically dying I died emotionally.

I grew cold and biter. I pushed everyone away, blaming everyone for Jesse's death. I wanted for everyone to feel what I was feeling, dead inside.

But today something snapped in me when I saw Letty and Vince in the garage. She managed to make me realize that I wasn't the only one that had lost a brother. She made me realize we all had lost Jesse, we all had lost a part of ourselves that day.

There's still so much pain there, so much resentment. But now I will deal with it the way I was meant to deal with it from the beginning.

Being part of a team, of a family, means to lean on each other when times are hard, that was what Jesse taught me and that's what I have to keep doing.

We will become the family we once where.

I know now that Jesse hasn't left entirely. He will always be part of this team, part of me, and I have to clean my act for him. I can't fail him again. I have to keep fighting for his sake and mine.

Softly I hear the song change on the radio.

……Life ain't always what it seem to be
Words can't express what you mean to me!
Even though you're gone we still a team
Thru your family I'll fulfill your dreams
In the future can't wait to see if you'll
Open up the gates for me
Reminisce sometime the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it's real feelings hard to conceal
Can't imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every time I pray
I'll be missing you

Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you

It's kinda hard wit you not around
Know you in Heaven smilin' down
Watching us while we pray for you
Everyday we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts, Big, I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time……

There's no worse pain than to lose your brother, your friend and I wish with all my guts that Jesse would be here with us. However I know for sure that he's up there watching our backs like he would have if he was here.

I sense the pain in my hands and look down. My hands have been griping the steering wheel and my knuckles have turned white.

I loosen my grip coming to terms with Jesse not being here physically. Today I've taken the first step with Letty and Vince.

"A new life, a new beginning, for you little brother."

I hear my phone ring so I grab it.

"Leon brother, are you ready to start over?"

"All for Jesse man, I'm ready."

"Good because we're starting with food."

"'Bout time! I'm hungry."

I follow Letty and Vince knowing damn well that Jesse is following too and I smile.