Secrets in the Dark
By: Dark Devil
Disclaimer: I have no rights or titles to anything whatsoever excepting my plot line and ideas.
Of course, when I went down for breakfast after making myself presentable, Father was busy with customers, and Orphen wasn't expected to get up until at least the afternoon.
After eating a little food, careful to make sure my father saw me eating, as he'd been on my case about not eating much lately, I decided to go outside for some fresh air.
Gazing over at the surface of the lake, I tried to do a spell, but nothing came to mind, so I decided to try and invent one.
Twenty minutes later, I collapsed in a huff to the ground, annoyed with my failing. I knew quite well that my attention wasn't even close to being fully on it, and therefore nowhere near capable of producing the weakest and easiest spell.
Still gazing at the lake surface, I noticed the shadow of a person approaching from behind.
Slowly spinning around, I noticed that Orphen was slowly walking towards me, staring at me with a thoughtful expression.
"Yes, Master?"
He smirked, then sat down next to me, not answering.
Sighing, I let my gaze drift over the lake again; when he gets like this, there's no getting through to him.
The lake looked so calm, light ripples moving ever so slightly across the surface, a blue gray ripple racing a green blue one, always moving to the flow of the wind.
After a while, I felt a hand on my shoulder, startling me.
Gasping, I turned quickly, relaxing slightly when I saw it was only Orphen, then tensed again at the look in his eyes.
He was smiling.
Evilly.
That was defiantly not good.
"M-Master?"
Orphen looked away, then turned back to me, suggesting lightly,
"How about we go for a swim, Majic?"
Confused, I shrugged.
Orphen?
Swimming?
This could get interesting.
Racking my memory, I still couldn't recall Orphen ever swimming for pleasure.
"Uh...why? Master?"
Orphen shrugged, then stood, dropping his vest to the ground in the same motion.
I must have looked quite stupid, gaping as he dropped his brown shirt to the ground, pendant as well.
"So? You coming, Majic?"
Startled out of my thoughts, again, I shrugged.
"I might join you later, Master, but I'd rather sit here for-"
Just as I was about to say 'now' I felt myself dunked in water, and upon surfacing found that Orphen had actually grabbed me and thrown me in.
"Master!"
"What?"
Mocking innocence, Orphen dived in, and feeling a rush of water underneath, I managed to move aside before he could tackle me from underneath.
Finding a part that was shallow enough for me to stand, I removed my top, throwing it to where I hoped the bank was.
Next I went to unstrap my watch, hoping I could fix the water damage done to it later, before I remembered the cuts.
Quickly strapping it back up, I checked the other bandage was still on, tightly, before diving back in.
After some proper swimming and learning that Orphen could swim, very well at that, we finally stopped, treading water gently a fair way out.
Floating on my back, slowly going around in circles, I was stopped by a cold hand on my shoulder.
One look at his face answered the question I was yet to ask (what did Orphen want?), he was in a serious mood, about to get vicious if I wasn't careful.
He always had hated people that danced around important subjects.
"Majic,"
The tone of his voice made me gulp; it wasn't going to be a friendly subject.
Sensing this, I plastered a smile on my face, one I had perfected to be innocent ignorance, and replied,
"Yes, Master?"
"Majic, stop pretending."
Keeping the face up, I wondered how long he had known it was all fake, as he obviously knew.
Then again, not much got past him.
It would just aggravate him to keep pretending, but I didn't know what else to do, so I replaced the look with a blank one, wondering what was going to happen.
"Majic, tell me, what's wrong?"
No answer.
The answer was too long, complicated, and I wouldn't give him the pleasure of it.
It was too much to burden someone else with it.
"Majic!"
Flinching, I kept the blank look on my face, returning to float on my back in the water...
A hand grabbed my shoulder and for a moment I thought he would dunk me, half drown me to get the answer. Instead, he pulled me up and made me look directly into his sienna eyes.
"Tell me, Majic. You have to."
"Why?"
I was shocked at myself.
That voice, it wasn't my innocent voice, this one was what I always heard in my head, it was cold, hard.
By the look on Orphen's face for a moment. That hadn't been what he'd been expecting either.
"Majic, this is just going to go deeper and deeper, you have to share it with someone else."
"No."
I kept scaring myself, that voice, why couldn't I use my normal voice?
Or maybe this is my normal voice, and what I used up until now was fake.
"Majic, tell me. Now."
There was a firmness in Orphen's voice, but I couldn't obey him. I just couldn't.
"No."
Turning my gaze up from the water, I looked deep into those sienna eyes, and for a moment, nearly told him. But I couldn't.
Using my hands to propel me, I began to swim across to the bank, but was stopped by Orphen's hand around my wrist.
"Majic, we're not leaving until you tell me."
"Then we'll be here a while, won't we?"
Orphen was stunned, and I knew why.
Since when had I had such a cold, heartless voice? Since when did I give smart-arse comments, like the ones that he was prone to give? What happened to the carefree teenager that was so innocent?
"Majic, if this is still about Fiena-"
"Who's Fiena?"
Orphen's grip on my left wrist loosened, not understanding what I meant, but then it tightened again, painfully so.
A uninvited yelp escaped my lips, drawing his attention to my wrist.
The bandage was still there, but blood was trickling through it, pressured out by Orphen's strong grip.
"What the? Majic, when did you get this?"
Pulling free from his now gentle grip, I started to swim as fast as I could away, but Orphen was faster, stopping me again.
"Majic!"
This time, he was holding my right hand, not knowing it, but making my other cut bleed as well.
"What happened to your wrist?"
His voice was hard, demanding nothing but the truth, so I decided for the sake of getting out of there, that I'd tell him half the truth.
"It got cut."
"How?"
I shrugged, causing his grip to tighten, hurting me enough for another uninvited yelp to escape.
I cursed myself mentally, as now he'd know for sure. Orphen may not have picked up on it yet, but he wasn't stupid, he'd know what I'd done.
"What?"
His eyes narrowed, and he slowly undid my watch strap.
"Majic..."
Staring at it, he grabbed my other wrist, and instantly knew.
"What the hell did you do..."
I shrugged, avoiding his gaze, knowing that the disappointment in them would make me feel guilty, and cause me more pain.
"Majic, you slit your wrists, didn't you?"
His voice was hard, his tone worse, a mixture of disappointment and anger, fury and confusion.
Meeting his gaze, I said whatever came to mind,
"So what?"
He sighed, dropping my wrists, and grabbed my shoulders.
"Majic, this has to stop! You're going to kill yourself at this rate if you don't tell someone!"
"Would it be that bad a thing?"
Stupid. Stupid! That was so stupid!
I couldn't stop the words, but regretted them immediately.
Now he knew what I thought!
I would have been better off pretending that it was all fine, that I would stop...but now?
Now he knew, he won't leave me alone now.
"Majic! No, it would, it would be terrible..."
Was that a waver in his voice?
"No, you'd all live, and there'd be no more pain..."
Damn it, damn it!
Who the hell had said that? I didn't want to! Why did I say that?
"No more pain? Majic, without you...without...without you, we'd all fall to pieces, we need you!"
Was he fighting tears? No, Orphen wouldn't cry, he never did, unless it involved Auzalie, and this didn't, so it couldn't be. Could it?
Could he care for me?
No.
It was as simple as that.
No.
Pulling out of Orphen's grip, I treaded water until I could exit the lake, and donning my top and jacket, I left, knowing that he was still watching me.
Back at my father's tavern, I changed into dry clothes, careful to wear a long sleeved top, and to keep my wrists covered, as a bandage on both was a lot more suspicious.
Sighing, I wondered if Orphen had come back yet.
If he had, then Father would want to talk with me, and I really didn't need that right now.
There was only one thing for it.
I'd have to leave before they confronted me.
I'd leave, and travel by myself.
Quickly, I grabbed a small backpack and shoved in some clothes, a bed roll, and some food I stole from the kitchen in foresight of what could happen.
Once that was done, I was amazed to see how small the stuff I had packed actually was compared to all of Orphen's stuff. I slowly wrote a note, stopping often to think of what to write.
Father, Orphen, Cleo,
I'm sorry, but I'm leaving, it's for the best, broken hearts don't mend, they just tear even more.
Please, consider me dead, I most probably will be to this world.
This is my goodbye, please don't look for me.
Majic
Folding it, I left it on my pillow, hoping they wouldn't find it until much later.
Getting out was another matter, I ended up throwing the bag out the window and then going to collect it.
With one last glimpse of my father through the window, I left, keeping to the shadows and ignoring the people surrounding me.
