ACT FOUR: Role Reversal

House's office. House is uncharacteristically straightening out his desk. Cameron walks in her head buried in some papers.

CAMERON: Oh, wrong room. (She turns to head out)

HOUSE: Wait. Stay. (looks nervous) How is Mr. Zapado?

CAMERON: He'll live.

HOUSE: (Sort of reaching out to stop Cameron from leaving) Is the oxygen working then?

CAMERON: Sure seems that way. I thought it was implied by my saying he'll live.

HOUSE: It wasn't. Why can't you just give me a straight answer?

CAMERON: Don't wanna.

HOUSE: But. (he looks into Cameron's eyes dreamily.)

CAMERON: But?

HOUSE: You know, things would work much more smoothly in this department if you wouldn't be so hostile all the time. I know it's just your way of keeping people from hurting you, but it also keeps anyone from reaching you.

CAMERON: Maybe I don't want anyone reaching me. (Looks disgusted)

HOUSE: But we all need to be loved.

CAMERON: I don't.

HOUSE: You do, you just don't want to admit it. (He looks down, fumbling with something on his desk, then looks up again, love in his eyes) I love you. (Looks back down, quickly)

CAMERON: (Shocked.) What's going on here? This isn't right.

HOUSE: Don't say our love isn't right.

CAMERON: (Cutting him off) I'm not saying our love isn't right, but it isn't. I am saying that something seriously strange is going on.

HOUSE: (almost like he's snapping out of a trance) I know what you mean. I'm saying the strangest things. I, I didn't mean any of that.

CAMERON: Of course you didn't. I did.

HOUSE: Huh.

CAMERON: Can't you see? It's like we've switched sides. I've become some swooning schoolgirl, and you've become, well, perfect.

HOUSE: Shouldn't that be the other way around?

CAMERON: I'm not sure.

(There is a knock at the door. It's Wilson.)

WILSON: Did I interrupt something?

HOUSE: Uh, no. Alison and I were just finishing up.

(Cameron rushes out the door)

WILSON: Alison, huh? That's new.

HOUSE: What do you mean?

WILSON: You never call her Alison. Did something happen? Let's go get some lunch. You can tell me all the sordid details.

Scene fades.

VOICEOVER: And what sordid details they are. Will House and Cameron ever figure out who they are? This is one serious case of identity crisis.