Okay, latest chapter, I wrote it once, then it got deleted. I got pissed off, left it for ages. Rewrote it last night. If it doesn't fit in, Tough!
By the end of the week, I was done. Ready to leave, or –something-.
I didn't understand how the others that lived here could stand it.
However they managed to live day in, day out. Yet I couldn't. I just wasn't going to last.
I came here to get a pendant from the Tower of Fang. I'm going to leave without one, and I have no shame in that fact.
Sure, it's going against what I decided to want, but I'd live, and really, this place was driving me insane.
I opened my eyes, and slowly watched as the ceiling came into focus.
I was on my bed, at roughly eleven p.m. There had been nothing to do, and I've become somewhat of an insomniac.
Sighing, I sat up, then swung my legs over the side of a creaking bed, my thoughts racing.
I wanted to get out of here.
Now, as I hike through the woods outside the tower, my body is on end. Tingling with nerves, just having a stray branch brush against the skin on my arm sends electricity through my body.
I had quickly changed into my only outfit; black jeans and a sleeveless black top, my black jumper for warmth. My knife had been hastily shoved into the front pocket of the jumper, and then I had departed.
I'd miss them, the people that I might have gotten along with one day; Erris, the kid, even Hartia and Lai.
But I wouldn't miss them that much.
After I was a fair way into the woods, I stopped moving, and concentrated. I didn't want to be Silver any more. I wanted to go back to Orphen, but I couldn't be Majic, and I just wasn't Silver any more.
I was unsure of what to do. If I went on to be back with Orphen as Silver, then I'd have to act like Silver but… For the first time in the longest time I could remember, I didn't want to act.
I didn't want to cut. I didn't wan to hide. I wanted to be myself, ad I wanted to be with Orphen.
Concentrating with all of my mind-power, I cast a teleportation spell, feeling myself washed away with a strong gust made my insides tie in knots, then as my feet touched down on slippery rock, I fell over, the sick feeling making my head reel.
I don't think I like long distance travels.
Righting myself, I stood, chuckling slightly.
I was at the lake, standing on the very tower that Orphen himself had awaited the return of Azalea those many years ago.
Thinking, I cast a spell for my hair, another for my eyes, and a last one for my magic. There wasn't much I could do to my clothes, but they didn't matter that much.
Standing there, shoulder length raven black hair whipping around my shoulders in the wind, piercing coal black eyes gazing at the water, I must have made quite a site.
Of course, I won't mention that I had considered going pink rather then black… But I'd always been rather fond of the color. Something like a comfort blanket to me.
Suddenly, a grin cracked out on my face, and I must admit that it was rather difficult to remember how, my face seemed permanently set into a scowl, o a look of indifference.
Ripples of my giggling floated over the lake, lost in the hurried wind.
I was going back. I would see Orphen again.
I'd be happy again. With Orphen. And Cleo, and Leki. All of them. I could even travel to the Tower to check up on Erris and the kid, even Hartia and Lai. I knew Orphen would want to, he had been close to them once, and still liked to keep in touch- not that he'd admit it.
Standing there, with the cold breeze slapping my face, I felt like I was a new person. I felt as though nothing could ever go wrong again.
I drifted off into a daydream, where I returned to find Orphen waiting at my father's inn, his face breaking into a smile as he saw me. I saw him and I, traveling over the world, fighting those dumb enough to oppose us, having the occasional duel, meeting up with Cleo, and Stephanie, and everybody we knew. Always happy, always smiling, never upset or down. Some nights I could see us, just sitting there in the moonlight, a comfortable silence descending around us.
My eyes snapped open, and then they flickered shut as I cast the teleportation spell.
The swirling wind increased, and my stomach protested but not as violently as it had before. Nothing could go wrong.
As I landed, doubt clouded my mind. What if Orphen was fed up of me? I'd done enough stupid shit to warrant his hate of me twice over. What if he never wanted to see me again? What if I wasn't good enough for him?
Standing on shaky feet, I looked straight ahead. I was in front of my Father's inn, and through the windows I could see inside.
It was him. Orphen. His back was to me, but I could tell it was him. He seemed to be talking to someone... Yes, he was. He was talking to Cleo who was next to him, both with their backs to me. I watched as Cleo stood, her back still facing me. Orphen must have said something, because she turned and made to walk away, but was stopped by Orphen grabbing her hand. I couldn't see her face as her hair was down and in the way, but when Orphen stood and turned her around, I could see his face. He was smiling. He looked so happy.
He smiled as he pulled her into a tight embrace. He was laughing, and by the way her body was shaking, so was she.
He was so happy without me. Looking down at myself, I cringed in disgust. Who could be happy with me around? I was never happy, always dark and depressed. They were better off without me. They were happy without me. And I, well, as long as Orphen was happy, I didn't care what happened to me.
Turning, I started to run blindly.
They didn't need me. They were happy without me.
It didn't matter if I needed them.
My foot hit a rock, and before I could hit the ground, I cast a teleportation spell, taking me back to the lake.
Hitting the cold wet rock of the fallen tower at the lake felt good. I could feel my skin graze and tear as it slid along the rock; pain shrieking it's way to my brain.
I deserved the pain.
Crawling, I let myself reach the edge of the tower and flopped off of it, falling for about a meter before some rock came out of nowhere and attacked me. It dug into my side and I felt it throwing me- not towards the water as I was originally falling, but to the edge of the water, where the rocks formed a sort of wall.
My body crashed into it, and recoiled in pain. As I lifted myself up, I spat blood from a cut in my lip out, and crawled to lean against the rock wall, ignoring the pain.
I deserved it.
Pulling the knife out of my pocket, I quickly removed my tops, leaving me shivering at the cold and the pain from all of my scratches and grazes that were now covering my chest.
Holding the knife in my left hand, as my right felt numb, a slowly moved it to my right wrist, and slashed across it quickly, my back arching and my mouth letting out a silent scream of pain.
As the blood started to flow, I held the knife to my arm again, hoping I had the energy to do it. Quickly and forcefully, I dug the knife up my arm, slicing deeply.
Dropping the knife, I let out a whimper of pain and curled in on myself.
But Orphen was happier without me.
So I dragged my right hand, that was now drenched in blood, to the sandy ground to grip the knife, and held it to my left wrist, taking no time at all to go across, then along.
Letting the knife drop to the ground for good, I cradled my arms, flexing them a bit to hello the blood flow out. Two identical crosses stared up at me, and I spat out blood in disgust.
I had sacrificed myself for Orphen.
With this thought, I realized just how tired I was, and let my body fall over so that I was lying in the sand, and let my eyes drift shut.
A small content smile graced my features before I fell asleep, the pain becoming more and more distant with each second.
For Orphen.
This is not the end. There will be a short last chapter following this (hopefully soon) showing Orphen and Cleo's viewpoint on this event.
Um… Don't hurt me? I guess you've gathered by now that this doesn't have a happy ending, and again, you can think of this as an Orphen+Majic pairing if you wish to, or think of it as pure friendship. It doesn't really make that much difference.
