13-Date With Disaster
When Friday came, however, Candy called at five to sadly inform Jess that a case was tied up, and the presiding magistrate had announced no one was leaving until matters were settled. He had grudgingly allowed the attorneys to each make a call and let those waiting on them know they weren't coming home for a while.
Lynne was just closing shop for the day as Jess hung up the phone. Seeing her sister's disheartened look, she held her smile in check. She hadn't decided if she even liked Adam or not? Right. Hoping to cheer her at least a bit, Lynne suggested, "You know, between Daniel's crew, Molly, and Siegfried, you, as a history teacher have landed on a gold bonanza. Want to go up to Gull Cottage and do some mining?"
"Whatever," Jess shrugged, forcing herself to smile. Until then, she hadn't known she'd been looking forward to the date.
"Coming, Sig?" Lynne asked, grabbing her purse.
"I need to go exercise Seamist, so, not this time. Give my regards to the family. If my brother is there..." he let the phrase hang, leaving the message to the doctor's judgement.
"I think there's a fresh package of carrot sticks in the fridge, if you want to take her a treat," Lynne smiled.
XXX
They took Jess' new car for the short trek to Gull Cottage. Martha let them in, explaining, "Ed has an Elk's meeting tonight, so I thought I'd keep Mrs. Gregg company while the Captain has his weekly game."
"Who's playing tonight?" Lynne asked.
"Light crowd," Martha told her as they skirted the living room to reach the kitchen where Carolyn was working on a baby blanket. "Just Sean, Dash, Tris, and... Claymore. Thom didn't want to make the drive — and Dave has other things on his mind. I don't recall why Blackie isn't here."
"Claymore?" Linden gaped.
"He wants to be one of the guys," Martha laughed.
Jess hadn't known Claymore long enough to exactly see why this was humorous or unusual. As they reached the warmly lit room, Molly and Carolyn looked up, smiling, to welcome the sisters. After a few minutes, Molly frowned, directing a probing look at Jess. "What's wrong, lass?"
"You'll get used to that. Ghosts tend to have a bit more empathetic insight than normal people," Carolyn assured her, seeing the startled look. She didn't add that it would take a blind woman to miss the troubled look in Jess' eyes.
"Oh." There was a long pause. "I guess you've heard the — rumors — about Mister Pierce and me?" Her face grew hot as she said this.
"Aye. My first home with Sean here might now be a commercial laundry," Molly noted wryly, "but some things do not change. Gossip is, unfortunately, one of the things that is constant. I've halfway expected to hear whispers wondering if Sean and I are really married or not."
"Anyone who saw the look on your faces when you saw each other wouldn't ask that," Carolyn grinned. "I've had my own round with the gossip mill, too." With pink cheeks, she recounted her Maiden Voyage escapade. "I still get the occasional strange look, between that and living in a 'haunted' house."
The kitchen door swung open to let Claymore in as she said that. "What's this about a haunted house? Are you talking about the you know what in the cellar?" Dramatically, he shuddered.
"What do you want, Claymore?" Martha asked, for the ten-thousandth time since first meeting the little man.
"I lost a whole dollar. So, I thought I'd come out here and visit with you. Cut-throat pirates they are in there." So saying, he pulled up a chair, edging out Lynne a bit.
"What 'you-know-what in the cellar'?" Jess asked. She really had to make time to read that book Sean had given her. Tonight would have been good, but it was probably full of HIS name and she didn't want to think about that person.
"The skeleton! You didn't know about that? Well, let me tell you," Claymore beamed, getting into his story. Halfway through, the door swung open behind him to let in an invisible person. Carolyn's senses had become attuned enough to realize it was Daniel, like as not getting drinks or just taking a moment to check on this section of the crew. Claymore actually was fairly accurate, though Martha did ask once WHO had found the confession in the window seat, and he'd mumbled that she and Adam had.
As the story wound to a close, Claymore let out a huff of air. "Of course, it took about a week for me to really calm down after all that excitement. When I did, I realized something." He paused to inject a theatrical moment. "There have been rumors for years and years about this place. Yet, through them all, I had ignored them, kinda."
Obligingly, Jess took her cue and asked what kind of rumors.
"Other than the ghost ones about HIM, the Captain; the ones about the hobo who died in the basement. All this time, they were sort of true! Well. Let me tell you, I nearly passed out when that hit me."
To himself, Daniel thought, I'd hoped he'd never realize that; I was sure it'd hasten his entry to the afterlife. Clapping a hand firmly onto his faux relative's reedy shoulder, the Captain declared, "My good man, we had no idea! You might yet live up to your name!"
Perhaps Claymore had not fainted once upon a time, but he looked on the verge of doing it now. "AAAAYYYGH."
A moment later, Tristan appeared to see what the noise was, so Daniel explained.
"Well, Clay, old son, I may have to revise my opinion of you," the younger ghost beamed. "We'll have to take that under advisement."
"I don't trust you, you ghost you," Claymore insisted. "So, just think what you will. Leave me be."
"We were paying you a compliment, " Daniel blinked.
"Yeah. Right. Sure you and he would compliment me. There's a — a catch to it."
"If I say something, I MEAN it," Daniel thundered.
"Ditto!"
Before Claymore could argue or cower, the kitchen became replete with spirits; Sean and Dash appeared, looking for the rest of their game.
"Now I see why you are all in here. Who could resist five lovely ladies?" Dash asked with his best smile.
"Dash, please stop getting the rest of us in trouble for being less debonair," Sean asked.
"No worries, darlin'," Molly smiled up at him. "I'm blarney proof."
"It's not blarney," Dash insisted. Lifting one brow, he asked, "I take it Siegfried didn't wish to lose tonight, eh?"
"He preferred his horse," Lynne easily replied.
"Ah, yes. That brings back fond memories. Tell me, when shall we repeat our ride, dear doctor?"
"When they're ice skating down below." Stabbing a finger in his direction, "I bet Adam was just thinking, 'what would his lordship do?' when he kissed my sister to get away from the — the land-sharks."
"Au contraire," Tristan jumped in. "My esteemed friend and I have a proven, tested method that does not involve kissing less than willing fair ladies. Allow me to demonstrate." With a snap of his fingers, he popped out, then in again. "See? Vanishing has few complications."
Sean grimaced, recalling when he'd caught the two of them doing just that, and the expression left on Margaret Coburn's face.
Without volition, Lynne thought to herself, Unwilling is a strong word, in some cases.
"It's just the gossip that bugs me," Jess muttered.
"Aye," Daniel nodded, tugging his ear. "It has always been so. Small minds have long memories and forked tongues."
"On brighter subjects," Carolyn smiled, taking her husband's hand, "Jess is a fresh audience for all your stories, guys, and she wants to hear about them."
"For my class," the teacher clarified. "Well, I'd like to hear them too, but I do have an unselfish reason to go with the selfish one."
"Not selfish at all," Martha nodded. "This crew always loves to talk about themselves. You're sparing the rest of us from hearing it for the ten-thousandth time."
"You wound me, Mrs. Peavey!" Daniel exclaimed.
"Someone has to keep your ego in check," she retorted. "Just don't tell her anything about John Adams or Ben Franklin's grandson."
XXX
It was nearly midnight before Lynne and Jess got home. Siegfried was waiting in a wing chair. "I was beginning to be concerned," he scolded.
Through a yawn, Lynne told him what they'd been doing.
"I should have warned you, engage my baby brother in conversation and your ears are liable to fall off."
"Actually, the Captain and Charlie did the majority of the talking." Dr. Lynne yawned again. "Sorry."
"I shouldn't wonder at the yawn, you were both up very early," Siegfried smiled paternally. "Allow me to pass on a message I took and then I will leave you ladies to retire. Jess, this is from Adam, verbatim; Sorry about tonight. Judge Breckson is notorious for treating her lawyers like erring schoolchildren if she's in a mood, and she was, so kept the entire courtroom full of people 'after class,' as it were. If you will forgive, he would like to try again for tomorrow. Just give him a call in the morning."
"I can't blame him for one person with a bit of power and delusions of grandeur," Jess sighed. "I'll call him in the morning. Have a good ride, Sig?"
"Of course. Now, then, young ladies, to bed. You both look paler than I do."
XXX
At seven, Adam's phone rang. On the fifth ring, the noise penetrated his fogged brain enough for him to answer.
"Hope I didn't get you out of the shower or anything," an apologetic, distantly familiar voice chirped. "I'd have called sooner, but I overslept... Adam? It's me... Jess... are you there?"
By now, he was awake, trying to figure out what time it was. Slept late... was it noon or something? He'd figure it out later. "I'm here," he mumbled. "Jess... sorry..."
"Sig gave me your message... and yeah, I'd like to try for tonight, if that's okay?" Now, she sounded uncertain.
"Sure, great. I'm still a bit — hazy this morning." He shook his head to clear it. "Pick you up about the same time as we were supposed to last night?"
"Great. See you then."
As she hung up, he looked at the clock. Seven oh-four. She slept late? For a Saturday, Adam was now up officially early.
XXX
Thanks to the wake-up call, Adam got a good bit done that day, so that by the time he was ready to head off to Schooner Bay, he felt like he'd earned his evening of fun. As he searched for his keys, the phone rang. If he was smart, he'd ignore it, but what if it was a client? Or if Jess had an emergency and was now canceling? Or Thom had been an idiot again and Candy needed a friend? Or a new skeleton was in the basement somewhere? Or...
The battle of conscience vs. desire was brief; Adam picked up the phone. On the other end, a tremulous voice called his name. Frowning, he acknowledged that he was himself and asked who it was. Unless Tristan was pulling something and using a fake voice, it wasn't his 'family,' and if it was Tris, Adam was going to find a way to kill a ghost.
"Seaman Elroy Applegate, sir. I — I'm lost. Can you come pick me up?"
Glancing at his watch, Adam went over the route to Elroy's mentally. It was sort of on the way to Schooner Bay, just the longer route. "You're in the same house?" If he hurried, he'd be okay time-wise.
"N — n — no. I — I got exercised."
"Do you mean exorcized?" Adam sighed. "Where are you?" A hundred questions popped into his mind, but he'd worry about them later.
The place he named was in the opposite direction of where Adam wanted to go. Great. How had the ghost gotten there? Maybe he could call Daniel... and he was going to call Lord Dashire and find out WHO had given Elroy his number.
"Please don't tell the guys," Elroy quavered.
Blast. There went that plan. "I'll be there — soon. Stay put." Hanging up, he dialed Lynne's number. "Sig, Adam. Please get Jess. There's a problem." A moment later, she was on the line. "Jess, I hate to do this, but, we need to alter our plans again. I have to go pick up a ghost." The ridiculous statement was said with a matter-of-factness that only Adam Pierce could deliver.
After a long pause, she said slowly, "You have to what?"
"Pick up a ghost. Apparently, he got exorcized and is now wandering around lost." His voice remained level.
"Can't he just — pop?"
"No."
"Because of the exorcism, does that de-power them? It's not Captain Gregg or any of the others is it?"
"You haven't met him, and Elroy can't just pop, it's a long story. So, rain-check?" By now, Adam was nervous.
"No. I've been looking forward to this — and I'm not about to let you off the hook to go pick up a ghost..."
"Trust me, Elroy can't wander around out there — it'd be like tossing a kitten into the middle of a city. A newborn one at that," Adam argued.
"I don't mean abandon Leroy..."
"Elroy."
"Whoever.
Come get me and we'll both go. It's not the date I expected, but it's
different."
Telling her she was in the wrong direction would be practical, but Adam didn't want to do that. "I'll be right there. Tell Sig not to mention this to his brother or the others. Not yet."
XXX
Thanks to a shortcut Tristan had shown him, Adam made the trip to Lynne's in the briefest time he ever had. Jess was waiting on the flyer between the Wights and Lynne's homes.
After she was safely in and both were re-buckled, Adam's date asked, "Well? I've skimmed that book Sean gave me, so I kind of know who Elroy is — one of Captain Gregg's crewmen that showed up during the family's second year together? I haven't gotten far enough to know why he'd call you."
"I'm still puzzling out that one myself," Adam admitted. "The condensed version will have to do." With a sideways glance, he saw her nod acceptance. "Of all my parent's kids, I'm the only one that was inclined to take over the family business. Until I actually took over, I didn't know what Lord Dash was, but he did visit our home from time to time. I guess both of us being the youngest son gave us a commonality to begin a friendship, and he helped me on history projects, and so on. From what I hear, we had sort of the same relationship Jonathan and the Captain built. Dash invested wisely during life and after, with funds he hid, so he could afford my dad and grandfather's services, and mine with spare cash. I know, I'm rambling, but not really. I'm answering questions you will ask before you do. Anyway, a bit over a decade past, Dash reunited with Captain Gregg, and then Sean. After a few months, Tristan showed up, in the throes of a second or third childhood. I got summoned to drive Elroy up to Gull Cottage in order to divert Tristan's attention into giving Elroy ghost lessons. He'd barely passed Daniel's crash course in ghost-hood a while before, so it was a legitimate project. Elroy couldn't pop that far. Shortly after that, Dash, using his spare funds to make up any difference in my fee and what Carolyn could afford, suggested that I represent Mrs. Muir in her business dealings... the Muirs and Martha were the first people I ever could talk to about knowing ghosts, and vice versa. So, we became good friends, family in the best sense, as Dash would put it. "
"So, I'll take this as a good omen," Jess said after a moment's thought.
"Pardon?"
"Your relationship with the family, more than Lord Dashire, started with picking up Elroy. Maybe it's a good sign for you and me that the first date involves him?"
"Careful. Anything you say has the potential to be used against you... I could take that to imply you like me, a little?"
"Maybe." She held up two fingers less than an inch apart. "A little. C'mon, how many guys will drop everything to go rescue a lost kitty? Metaphorically speaking. And I bet no other girl has had a date like this."
"Not exactly, anyway," he had to agree. "Sorry we're having to go so far out of the way."
With a short laugh, Jess asked, "You never have been to Houston, have you? A detour like this could happen if the Loop is shut down for construction or an eighteen-wheeler overturns on the Eastex Freeway in rush hour. Don't sweat it."
To himself, Adam was sure that she was just being nice. Grimly, he noted as they pulled up to the filling station where Elroy was hiding that by his clock, it was time for the folk concert to start now.
"Wait here," Adam instructed, holding up a hand to cut off the protest Jess had already opened her mouth to make. "He's not like Daniel or the others... he's very timid. It'd be better if he didn't see a stranger right off the bat."
Her nod indicated that Jess was placated somewhat, so Adam got out and looked around. Like as not, Elroy'd gotten stuck in invisibility, again. "Elroy?" he called softly.
Suddenly, the station door opened to let Elroy trundle out to meet Adam. "Mr. Pierce! It's me. Here I am."
"Great," Adam sighed. Remembering his manners, he forced himself to add, "Are you okay? How did you manage to call? Or get my number?"
"The phone book isn't that big, and Tristan did teach me how to read," Elroy nervously replied. "He even showed me where in the book to find your number, and Mrs. Muir's, I mean Gregg's, and Lord Dash's, and Claymore's, and..."
"Okay," Adam interrupted the stream of "ands" before he could cite every member of the family that had a phone. "Where did you get change for the phone?"
"Lying on the ground between here and home. I'd watched TV so I knew that I needed it to make a call."
"That's good Elroy," Adam nodded, leading him toward the jeep. "Now, don't turn invisible, okay?" It was time to let him know a strange "people" as Elroy would term her, was in the car.
"I forgot how to," the ghost confessed miserably.
"Oh. Sorry. Well, I have a friend with me — you haven't met her — don't panic, she won't tell anyone. Jess is Candy's husband's aunt. She's — nice."
"Okay. Why'd she come along?" Elroy asked.
"We were on a date, sort of. Here we are." Adam opened the back door, wondering if the pudgy spook could manage to get that high off the ground into the narrow space.
Jess solved the problem to a degree by jumping out and saying she'd take the back.
"I'm sorry to mess up your date," Elroy moaned.
"Don't fret," Jess shrugged. "I'll just charge Adam interest on the date. How do you feel about pizza, Elroy?"
"I've never had any. Ghosts don't eat much."
To her credit, Jessamyn didn't comment on how his girth belied that statement. Then again, from what she observed, what ghosts did eat didn't affect their waists any more than Elroy's lack of eating did. "I think we need to remedy that. Adam, it'd be a shame to not do anything tonight, wouldn't it?"
Adam Pierce was no fool. "It certainly would be. Tell you what. We'll go back to my place, I'll call in a pizza order and I do have records. We can sort this out there. All in favor..."
"Aye."
"Aye, aye."
Half an hour later, Adam was dialing the phone. "Uh — Jess, what do you like on yours? I thought I'd get two..."
"Why?" Elroy piped up.
"No one likes what I like."
"What is it you like, ace?" Jess asked. "Anchovies and caviar?"
"Jalapeno peppers, double."
"Just order one, unless you're really hungry then."
"You like — "
"I'd ask for cayenne, but I doubt they have it."
"Middle cabinet over the sink," Adam rattled off. "Before cinnamon and chile' powder. Sig got on a tear and organized my kitchen, your sister's, Candy's..."
"I bet he didn't make it to Blackie's. Even a ghost could have a heart attack in there," Jess chuckled as she headed to the kitchen. "May I bring the chile' powder, too?"
"If it looks hot, bring it," Adam replied happily.
"Uh — do you have ice cream? My mouth's getting hot just listening," Elroy stammered. "Or soda?"
After the pizza arrived and was doctored to both human's satisfaction, Elroy began his story, pausing often to take a sip of water.
"Well, you know I found a nice little cottage, not like Gull Cottage, but a tiny little place, to haunt. A little old lady lived there, and it was nice. After Tristan gave me spooky lessons, I could haunt her and help her out, once in a while. She wasn't a scary people. But, she was old, and got sick. Her kids didn't know I was there. Tristan'd taught me how to be quiet." He did not notice how Adam's brows shot up at the concept of Tristan being quiet. "So, they said she needed to go to an — an — assisted — living — fac-facility. I think I got it right. Then, it was lonely there. I was worried about her, but I didn't know where they took her. Anyway, one day, the sons and daughters or maybe they were in law peoples, came and started packing up. I heard'm say they were selling the place, so I got mad and started trying to make them go away. I used every trick I could think of that Tristan or the Captain would do. I even took off my head."
On that image, Jess placed her half-eaten slice back on her paper plate and took a sip of ginger ale.
"The next day, yesterday, they came back with a medium and exorcized," he got that word out with difficulty, pronouncing it as Adam had when correcting him, "me."
"Elroy, you didn't have to go," Adam gently told him, recalling what Siegfried had said about his own exorcism. Most ghosts who were exorcized left because their feelings were hurt or they were annoyed. Exorcism was for evil, not hapless spooks.
"It was scary," the seaman quavered. "And noisy. And I forgot how to do anything I got so scared. I know Captain Gregg and Tristan'll be mad at me for forgetting what to do, but I couldn't help it."
"They'll understand that, Elroy. And they will know how to help you, better than I could. I don't know anything about being a ghost," Adam attempted persuasively. "Why, I heard Molly O'Casey herself say she wished there was a course on how to be a ghost..." Adam paused, frowning. Half an idea tweaked at his brain, but first things first. The proper order was to convince Elroy to go to — Tristan was still helping out at Dave's. Personally, Adam thought that the Farnons were trying to help their friend more than vice versa... and Elroy around a newborn was not a good plan. The O'Casey's were still "catching up." Dash was at Candy's again, so he was really the closest, but he knew Dash had deferred on teaching Daniel anything. He might not be the best teacher for Elroy. Siegfried did not strike Adam as a patient tutor. That left Daniel. Besides, Daniel was the boss. So, the first thing was to get him to Gull Cottage.
"Look, personally if I found out later that someone I considered a friend had kept the fact that another friend was forcibly evicted from me, I'd yell at them. I really don't want Daniel to yell at me."
"He yells good," Elroy nodded with a wince.
"Yes, he does. Just ask Claymore," Adam sensed a win. "So, would you consider letting me drive you to Gull Cottage? I am certain Daniel will know what to do. If he doesn't by some weird chance, then he can call Lord Dashire, Sean, Tristan, Molly, and Siegfried. Between them, surely they will know what to do."
"The vacuum lady doesn't live there anymore?" Elroy asked, beginning to cave.
"Martha is at home with Ed. She won't suck you up her Eureka. And if she is there, she doesn't use as many peppers as I do when she cooks." Adam knew he almost had achieved victory, he just had to clench the deal. "And Dakota does not bark as much as Scruffy. You could probably have your own room since all the kids have moved out. I don't have a guest room, just the sofa." Actually, his mattress was so old that the sofa was better. Replacement was a hassle.
"Okay," Elroy finally sniffled. Jess handed him a tissue packet from her gigantic purse.
"Soon as we're done, we'll drive up to Gull Cottage. Let me give Carolyn a call, make sure they're home."
This time, Adam made the call from his bedroom. When he returned, Jess had cleaned up the slight mess. "You look cheery."
"I'm getting the other spare room at Gull Cottage tonight. It made no sense to Carolyn for me to drive all that way then home then back in the morning. I agree."
"Don't forget Amberly's present when you're packing your shave stuff and whatever else men need," Jess advised.
"Who?" Elroy asked.
"Jenny had her baby, one week ago, well in few hours, one week ago," Adam said.
"That's a pretty name," Elroy sighed. "Can we go now?"
"Just let me obey Jess, then yeah."
XXX
Before making the drive to Gull Cottage, Adam took Jess home. Telling Elroy to wait a minute, he walked her up the path to Lynne's door.
As she started to fish out her keys, he stopped her. "Thanks, Jess."
"For reminding you to grab the gift? I've been shifting the one I bought around in my purse all week. No problem," she grinned, shrugging off the words.
"That too, but more for... everything," Adam smiled ruefully. "It was a — "
"The best and worst of times," softly she replaced his self-deriding comment. Then, impulsively, before she could lose her nerve, kissed him on the cheek a second before shoving her key in the lock and slipping inside.
Bemused, Adam stared at the door for a few seconds, then walked back to Elroy cooling his heels in the jeep.
Until Carolyn handed him a tissue with an amused, yet pointed glance at his cheek, Adam had no idea that there was lipstick there.
