ACT 12: Changing Partners
SCENE ONE:
House's office. House walks through the door. His hair is nicely combed, and his face is smooth. He is wearing a button up shirt, buttoned up, and a crisply ironed pair of pants. He is whistling to himself. He sits down at his desk and looks through some papers.
Cameron enters. She is wearing a mini skirt and a rather revealing top. Her hair is a mess, obviously unwashed and uncombed. It's pulled back sloppily in a ponytail.
CAMERON: How do you deal with all this hair?
HOUSE: (looks up and looks horrified) What are you wearing?
CAMERON: I found it in your closet. (tries looking innocent) Why don't you wear stuff like this more often.
HOUSE: Because it is not appropriate for the workplace.
CAMERON: (finally getting a good look at House) What have you done to me?
HOUSE: I thought it might make a nice change.
CAMERON: (pauses, thinking, realization dawns on her face) Did you take a shower?
HOUSE: Yes. (looks slightly nervous) Didn't you?
CAMERON: No!
HOUSE: What? You mean I came to work without taking a shower. That's disgusting.
CAMERON: No more disgusting than you washing my naked body!
HOUSE: (Blushes and runs out of the room)
SCENE 2:
General hospital shot. House is reading a chart. He looks down at his pager, picks it up and reads it. Then he rushes off.
SCENE 3:
House walks through a door. He is now in a supply closet. Dr. Cuddy is standing with her back to him, looking at the supplies on the shelves.
HOUSE: (confused) Uh, you wanted to see me Dr. Cuddy.
CUDDY: (Turns around, then looks at House surprised) What did you do to yourself?
HOUSE: Uh, what do you mean?
CUDDY: (walking toward him.) You're all cleaned up. What, do you have an interview today? (she laughs, and runs a hand down his chest.
HOUSE: (backing away) No. I thought it would be a nice change.
CUDDY: (coming closer and putting her hand back on his chest) It's interesting. (She looks him up and down) But I like you better the other way. (She leans in like she's going to kiss him.)
HOUSE: (pulls back quickly.) I'll run home and change then. (Tries to make a break for it)
CUDDY: (grabs his shirt and pulls him to her) Oh no you don't. (she tries to kiss him again.)
HOUSE: (Look of panic on his face. He pushes her back a little too hard. She's still holding onto him, and the both fall to the floor. Stuff crashes down all around them, and the room seems to shake a little.) What's wrong with you? (Looks confused. Looks at himself and screams.)
CUDDY: (looks at House, looks at herself.) Not again.
HOUSE: What the hell is going on?
CUDDY: Looks like you get to play House now.
HOUSE: What?
CUDDY: Guess there's no point in keeping it a secret now. (Gets up, dusts herself off and reaches to pull House up.) Yesterday House and I changed bodies. Now, it seems, I have changed with you.
HOUSE: (very confused) Who the hell are you then?
CUDDY: I used to be Cameron. Now I'm not so sure.
HOUSE: Now you're me.
CUDDY: Right.
HOUSE: This is a horrible dream right?
CUDDY: Fraid not.
VOICEOVER: Well, isn't this a fine mess. Poor Dr. Cameron seems to be having one hell of an identity crisis. For those of you who are lost, and aren't we all, Dr. House is now in the body of Dr. Cameron. Dr Cameron is now in the body of Dr. Cuddy, and Dr. Cuddy, the newcomer to this mess, is now in the body of Dr. House. It's not exactly what she had in mind when she invited him into the supply closet.
