Here we are in part 4. . . I went back and fixed all of the errors I could find in the first three parts so don't no one tell me that they look bad now. . . well tell me anyway. . . Thanks to all who reviewed the last part and I think this could be the last part for awhile. . . I kind of want to include events from new episodes but since it'll be awhile before we get new ones. . . idk, maybe I'll decide to change that plan. . .
Note: I claim to know nothing about the German measles. . . I'm just borrowing the sickness because it's a sickness and I'm just thinking up the general crappy symptoms of someone who is sick-coughing, sneezing, fever. . etc.
Also "Learning to Breathe" doesn't belong to me but to Switchfoot. It's a good song and if you can listen to it while you read this because it kind of set the tone for this installment.
Fifth grade Christmas had been a doozy. She remembered not being able to move very efficiently, nevermind the lack of balance, the sweat, fever, and the sudden inability to speak. The last one had really taken a toll on her. Through all the lady lectures, the boring parties, the long days at school, the only thing she had had to get her through was her wit and a mouth that wouldn't be quiet. All of her comforts had been taken away that year with the sickness, and she had been stuck sitting in her parent's living room listening to idle chit-chat while everyone else ignored her. No amount of pleading with Emily had granted her access to her room and sanctuary against uncomfortable dresses, forced posture, and the freedom to cough openly to clear a space in her lungs.
That was just one of many incidents that Lorelai had been forced to grow up with as a debutaunte. From the age of two she had been learning proper behavior and the way a lady in high society should act. She had never really had a problem with society as a whole, but it just hadn't been the life that she wanted, which of course was devastating to Emily. The woman had seemed to think that the more parties and functions she forced her daughter to go to, she would eventually grow to like them and thus her place in it. However, that wasn't the way life worked out, and Lorelai had gotten her way out early, just not in the way she had planned. In a way she had never really left, but the feeling of it had given her more freedom than she had ever thought possible. Eventually when the time came that it was Rory's turn to be Emily's debutaunte, she protested, but mostly she got a chance to see what she could have been a part of; she had never been happier that she found what she had really wanted early.
But through all of the troubles in her childhood, she had always thought that Emily understood who she was. It had never occurred to her that she didn't because Lorelai had always assumed that Emily just couldn't accept it and needed to try everything to change the situation the way she wanted it. As she sat on the bus to Stars Hallow, she now realized how wrong she really was.
She couldn't remember a time in her childhood when she and her mother had ever gotten along about anything, or even spent a substantial amount of time together outside of dinner. Emily had never shown an interest in her studies other than how her grades were, her music, her friends, or anything else for that matter. The day she had told her about Rory hadn't even changed their relationship; Emily just turned around and picked up a phone to call a meeting to decide her and Chris' future, and everything went downhill from there.
It was almost crazy- the connection between her and her mother and then her and Rory. Emily and Lorelai never saw eye to eye on anything, as was evidenced by the number of fights they had had before she had reached the age of 10, while Rory and Lorelai almost never fought. They had the best friend mother-daughter relationship that many teens wished for, because while Rory was growing, her mother had to learn many of the same lessons over herself in order to take care of the little girl. The occasional presence of Christopher was always good to stir up trouble that brought memories from home, but otherwise the two worlds almost never shared anything.
The cool window against her cheek matched her mood at the moment, but unlike her, the glass warmed quickly. She sighed when the bus made her final stop, standing slowly and descending the steps. Lorelai watched it pull away before beginning the not so long walk to the diner, making it last with short steps and a trance-like gaze. The only sound came from the clunking of her heels and the soft swish of her skirt.
"How could I be so stupid?" she thought to herself. All of the Friday dinners and the time they had spent together for the last five years was all to waste. She really believed that things had changed somewhat between her and her mother, and she wasn't too proud to admit that she had learned things about the mysterious woman since they began their weekly meetings. Lorelai had really wanted to tell herself that while things would never be perfect, Emily had finally understood and accepted who her daughter was, and would love her for that instead of what she had wanted her to be almost twenty years ago.
Yesterday left my head kicked in
Those dinners meant nothing, the timewas dittily squat. Emily still wanted to change Lorelai back into a socializing class woman who was faithful and got married to the father of her child. It meant nothing to her that Luke was more of a father to Rory than Chris had ever been. Her mother knew of her feelings for him long before she acknowledged it, and yet it took her until after they had gotten together to pull the stunt that she did. All this time Lorelai had even believed that Emily secretly liked Luke for his loyalty to her, his compassion, and the friendship he had shown in her presence.
In response to the enlightenment, her steps gained intensity and speed as she walked out her anger. Lorelai didn't bother to pay any attention to where she stepped, which while normally wouldn't be a problem, was when the back of her heel found the one groove in the sidewalk. Her voice almost squeaked in shock as her ankle rolled sharply and she fell heavily on her side. Immediately she felt pain throbbing in her right foot and her eyes formed tears before she could force them back down. A sob caught in her throat and her shoulders shook while she pushed herself up into a sitting position, hugging her stomach as water trekked down her face.
I never never thought that I would fall like that; never knew that I could hurt this bad
The empty streets of night only made her feel worse; it heightened the feeling that she was all alone. And while it did save her some embarrassment, she couldn't have given a damn if she had just done that while running down the street naked in the middle of the day because at least then she wouldn't be by herself. Lorelai closed her eyes and cried harder, the fall being the circuit for which all of the other pain in her life was now draining.
This is a way that I say I need you
She was late. He would try to talk himself down- the bus could've gotten delayed, she might've been too tired and just gone home, she changed her mind and went back to Hartford, but it wasn't working. In any one of those situations he was sure that his phone would've rang and he would know about it, just because it was Lorelai's nature to tell him anything of importance and everything of little to no importance. Thus Luke the diner man was closing his door, turning off the lights, and heading down the sidewalk towards the bus stop to wait for the blasted thing; it was better than sitting around.
He wouldn't have to go far to find her; not more than twenty steps before he saw her, a huddled, sobbing mess on the sidewalk. It would take him less than five seconds to run to her and give the biggest hug he ever had in his life, even less to know the reason why. In between stroking her hair and whispering to her soft words that assured her he was there he would see the ankle that rivaled the size of most softballs and the foot attatched to the now broken shoe. She would only hold him tighter as his flannel shirt became increasingly wetter and never protest when his tight arms began to cut off some air in her chest. His lips repeatedly adorned the top of her head in between moments of resting his head on top and rocking her softly until her tears stopped for the moment.
I'm learning to breathe, I'm learning to cry
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
Luke would pick her up, careful not to jostle the ankle, and carry her all the way home, knowing she would be more comfortable there than in his tiny apartment. He would call Ceasar and Lane and tell them that they were on their own for the next day, and quick leave a message for Sookie that Lorelai needed a day to rest. Luke would take her to her room and kiss her face in between helping her undress and dress for bed, and then go downstairs to find icepacks to wrap the appendage in. She would wait for him to sit on the bed next to her before cuddling close, seeking his contact, and he would give it fully. After she began to sleep, Luke would study her face, and promise himself to do everything in his power to keep her from being hurt ever again.
He would never say a word.
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
I hadn't planned on ending it here, but it seemed very fitting after I wrote the last little section. Maybe I'm crazy but I can't explain it. Eh well at least this way a new chapter might come out before the new episode in just over a week. But until then HAPPY EASTER!
Catch ya later
