Kathryn awoke with Chakotay's name on her lips and her voice hoarse. When she realized that she had another erotic dream despite all she had done to prevent it, she threw the pillow that she slept on across the bedroom. It knocked over a vase.

Great, she thought, Now I'm going to have to clean that up. She reached down and felt the bed. At least this time she didn't have to change the sheets.

She decided not to tell the doctor about it because of the fact that the dream was a non sequitur. And since Chakotay was scheduled to be in the shuttlecraft for one more day, the stimulus was not there. She felt she could handle it. She told herself firmly that it was just a cycle as if doing that would make all the feelings and happenings of the past two days go away.

They did go away, but not because of anything she did, but because of something that Voyager encountered out in space.

A deactivated Borg Cube.

She had known that the day when they would encounter and possibly engage the Borg from the time they had left the Sikari. Now that day was one step closer. Her whole being focused on the tasks at hand.

Kathryn had been reacting to all the events that happened, from the time they encountered the disabled cube to the time that the New Co-Operative forced their will on Chakotay. She was the Captain and they were in a serious situation. Still when they got Chakotay, back and left the area of the planet with the New Co-Operative. Something pricket at her mind. Something about her behavior was bothering her.

The next 'normal day' after they departed the planet, she asked Chakotay to join her for breakfast, he declined saying that he had a lot of reports to catch up on. As she watching him go, the needling got worst.

Maybe it's just the fact that I was on duty for 40 hrs in the past two days is catching up with me, she mused as she headed to the Bridge. She was still behind a corner when she overheard two crewmen talking.

"I think she's jealous"

Kathryn stopped suddenly. She felt her heart rate accelerated and a growing rage inside her. How dare they judge her, what did they know about the relationship that she and Chakotay had? What it was becoming and now this ex-drone shows up and...'

"Well you've always known that Carol was the jealous type, that's why I keep telling you..."

"Good Morning Captain, are you alright?" Rell and Hargrove hailed her.

She suddenly became aware of how she must look to them. Her face was like a thundercloud, her hands made fists in front of her body. She looked ready to strike, no wonder they thought something was wrong with her. She relaxed her body.

"Yes, I am. Thank you for asking." She moved passed them quickly and entered an empty Turbolift. She leaned against the wall for a minute, composing herself. Slowly she tapped her commbadge.

"Janeway to Chakotay"

"Yes Captain."

"Please report to the Bridge and take my position while I tend to something."

"Of course, Chakotay out."

The feelings were threatening to spin out of control. He didn't ask if something was wrong. She knew it was because he was still preoccupied by the things that occurred a day ago. And apparently, so was she.

Kathryn entered the Holodeck and the gentle breeze off Lake George greeted her. As she made her way to the lakefront, she finally felt as if she was getting some control over her emotions. She wondered how this program could do this, considering the last time she had activated this particular scenario, she was with Chakotay.

It came to her as she made her way to the spot where they had talked after her "death/alien presence" experience. She sat down, lost in thought. It was here where she had shared her experience with him, where they were the last time they were close as Kathryn and Chakotay. Here they had been intimate.

Kathryn had watched Chakotay and Riley talk and interact. She recognized the signs of him being intimate with some one else. When he admitted what the effects of the link had been, her suspicions were confirmed. He had been one with Riley in a way that he had never been with her. 'Like I had been in my dreams', she thought wistfully. This disturbed her so Kathryn shifted her thoughts.

She was jealous now, and she had been when he was with Riley. Kathryn recalled her actions in the briefing room when she was alone with Chakotay. She gave a short laugh as she compared her action to that of a lioness sniffing around another woman's territory As if Chakotay could be anyone's property

It was a natural progression though. They had been drawing closer to each other. Not a day went by where they did not share something, some part of themselves with each other, professionally and personally. Within the last year, it seemed that they had put their natural discord aside and now operated in harmony. They seemed to be of one heart and of one mind. The only thing left, the only barrier that was left to cross was for them to become one body.

Like he did with Riley. And that was her bone of contention. She was the one who was here all the time, who did this Borgette think she was!

And just who do you think you are?

The thought flashed through her head. She was right. She didn't own Chakotay, he was perfectly free to be with whom ever he wanted to be with. If she had wanted that kind of relationship with him, she should have made that clear while she had a chance. But she didn't and because of that she wrestled with her thoughts.

Was it because of Mark? She didn't think so. In another six months if they didn't make it home, Voyager would be declared lost. It was foolish to think that Mark would hold on to hope longer than that for her to be found. He would move on definitely by that time and she would have if she were in his place to.

There was also the command structure to think off. She needed to be the Captain and to do that she had be to be free of any emotional attachment to one member of the crew in order to serve the whole crew. She didn't care of what the crew might think about her, what she cared about was how she was going to function as a Captain in a committed relationship with a member of her crew.

There was a reason why that unwritten protocol was subtly but strictly enforced. It could lead to clouded judgment and since there was no other ship in the Delta Quadrant to transfer to when things got rough and 152 people's lives would hang in the balance. For that reason alone she shouldn't do it, but not because she couldn't send him to his death for the sake of her crew, and he not go willingly and have no problem with her doing that, it was that she could never forgive herself and for a moment Kathryn wondered if he could ever forgive himself if the situation were reversed and she was the one who had to go. But then she couldn't think of one instance when he would be conscious and let her go to her death protecting the ship, he would do it for her. So the inability to move on and forgive oneself would purely be on her end.

If something were to happen to Chakotay now, she would be devastated. Three years ago she didn't even know his name, now she couldn't imagine a day without him. So in the back of her mind she wondered how different would it be if they were lovers. Lovers or friends only, she would still feel like a piece of her would go missing when he was lost. Maybe the difference would be in how long the hurt would last. At least as friends, the hurt would pass. Or would it? And wouldn't a certain relationship with Chakotay now be worth all the potential pain of losing him in that manner later?

Kathryn stop! Just decide.

Our friendship is one of the most important things in my life, so...

That statement struck her.

It was as complicated or as simple as that.

She just had to choose.

She did.

She chose to give him her best.

Suddenly Tom Paris stepped in the Holodeck. He stopped short when he saw the captain sitting near a lake instead of the main cabin of a shuttlecraft.

"Oh, I'm sorry Captain, I'm scheduled for Holodeck flight simulations, and I usually have the computer automatically start it as I enter at this time."

"It's OK Tom, I was just about to leave"

Her Com badge chirped, "Chakotay to Janeway"

"Janeway here", a smile formed on her face. Her last thought before being interrupted by Tom had determined what was the most important thing to her when it came to her first officer. With that she was able to let go of most of her anger she felt over what had happened in the new collective. She knew that her envy would fade in a couple of days.

"Captain, long range sensors have picked up a system of populated planets. We seem to be reaching the end of the Nechrid Expanse"

Tom was doing a little jig of joy, he had been bored out of his mind at the helm for a month.

Kathryn forgot that her com line was open and burst out laughing.

"Captain did I say something funny"

"No Commander, I was just witnessing Lt. Paris performing what your people would consider a "Thank God we're out of the Nechrid Expanse" jig

"Not likely. Tell Lt. 'Twinkle Toes' that his simulations and dancing will have to wait. He is needed at the Helm."

"I'm dancing down that way now Commander, I'll teach you it as soon as I get to the Bridge."

"We're on our way Commander. Janeway out."

Kathryn had to stifle another laugh. As she joined Paris on his way back to Bridge, she reflected on the important lesson that she had learned on that day. Whatever happened she would trust in their friendship. No one or nothing would come between them as friends. All things that could be, began from there.

As she walked towards the Bridge, she had no way of knowing, that six months later, two people would almost pull their friendship apart.

Each other.

The End.

Part 6: A Formidable Woman