Live These Words

Written By: Lucky Shamrock


"The beginning is always today."

-Mary Shelley


September 15, 1976

Kit hated the hospital. By thirteen years old she had been in the hospital enough to warrant her sheer and utter hate for them. The way it smelled, so clean that her nose actually burned, the needles, the doctors that liked to poke and prod you where you hurt and had the gull to actually ask 'does this hurt'. This was one of the reasons why she was so happy to be sitting in Dumbledore's office. Apparently any place was better then the hospital, including her headmasters office.

When she hadn't shown up for class on September first, Kit had caused quite a stir until they were able to locate her in a muggle hospital. One side of her rib cage had nearly been crushed, enough to warrant quite a stay at the hospital for fear she might end up getting a rib jabbed into her lung. Her father had taken a baseball bat to her when she 'back-talked' him. She actually didn't back talk him, she just asked if he would be around to take her to Kings Cross station to catch the train to school. She knew it was a bad idea to ask him while he was drunk—but she had no choice. Either ask him or forget about school all together.

The official story was that she had been trying to sneak out of her room, and ended up falling off the drain pipe she had been climbing down. People believed it just fine. In fact, so did she. It was her own fault after all—she did have magic, if she wanted to she could stop him. Then she would be kicked out of the only place that kept her sane, booted out of the magical world for being an underage Wizard using magic on her very Muggle father.

Eventually when Dumbledore found out where she was, it was too late for her to be fixed up by magical means—which meant she was left in the hospital until today, when she had traveled by floo to the Headmasters office to wait for things to be sorted out involving her. After all, she was starting her third year fifteen days later then everyone else. Her peers had already learned quite a bit in those first few weeks. Leaving her behind now that she was back.

Her side on occasion still throbbed, but it was okay—especially now that she was back. Dumbledore wasn't there yet so she just waited in one of those plush chairs watching the paintings on the wall move and quietly talk to one another. It smelled like home here—home being Hogwarts. Sweet and musty, as if someone had been eating candy in the middle of a library of old books—that's how Hogwarts, or more specifically Headmaster Dumbledore's office smelled like.

She was relaxed now. Nothing could hurt her here.


"Why not Miss. Evans? Don't you think that she would be a better choice to tutor the girl?" Minerva McGonagall spoke in hushed tones, she wouldn't raise her voice to Dumbledore of course, but the transfiguration teacher just didn't understand why he would choose Remus Lupin over Lily Evans to tutor a third year Gryffindor. Mind you, it wasn't because she was against Mr. Lupin or anything—she thought he was an outstanding student. It was just, didn't Dumbledore think that Lily would be better suited to tutor someone of the female persuasion?

Dumbledore, with auburn hair that was starting to stain white with time just gave a shrug as they walked down the corridors. His hands clasped behind his back, royal purple robes trailing behind him and picking up a bit of dust on the ground that the House Elves hadn't gotten to yet. "I am sure that Miss. Anderson will be more comfortable with Miss. Evans, but Minerva trust me when I believe that Mr. Lupin is better suited for the job. Besides, I do believe this will allow Miss. Evans to spend more time with Mr. Potter."

"I thought she despised the ground he walked on? I do remember her outburst in class last year when she called him an arrogant git." Obviously, gossip was not beyond Hogwarts teachers.

"Time changes people Minerva, you know that. A funny thing time…" Dumbledore trailed off, a thoughtful look on his face and a gleam in his eyes not quite hidden by the half moon spectacles that he wore. "Mr. Lupin as you do well remember used to be a lot like Miss. Anderson, sticking to himself, not making any friends—until two boys pulled him into friendship. I do believe that Mr. Lupin will be able to help Miss. Anderson not just with her studies, but with her relationships with fellow students as well."

McGonagall just frowned. In her mind, Miss. Evans would be able to do the same thing for the third year girl. Dumbledore was just doing what he did best—giving cryptic messages. He knew something that McGonagall didn't, she was used to this sort of thing by now—but it was still bothersome. Especially since she couldn't see the point of the matter.

"Why don't you go fetch Mr. Lupin and bring him to the library while I go fetch Mrs. Anderson? I do believe she should be in my office by now." Before McGonagall could even say her answer Dumbledore was walking away, towards the staircase that would lead him to his office.

Leaving McGonagall to stand there alone she gave a sigh and rolled her eyes. "I hope he knows what he's doing…"


Remus Lupin was enjoying the start of his sixth year. For a werewolf, things were pretty good. He had a good group of friends, good grades, and an over all general happy life. Something was missing though, and he wasn't entirely sure what. No, he was sure. Every time he seen Sirius with a new girl, or James following after Lily trying to show her how much he had changed and wasn't an arrogant git—every time he seen that Remus knew love, a girlfriend was the one thing that would never happen to him.

Although Remus wouldn't let himself get depressed over that fact. He had more then enough to be happy about—including being allowed to go to school all together. Which was why when Professor McGonagall came up to the Gryffindor tower sometime after dinner to grab him away from playing Wizards Chess with James, he had to worry. What if someone found out that Dumbledore let a werewolf into the school and that was why he was being pulled out of the tower by a stern looking McGonagall.

His imagination ran wild sometimes. He knew it probably wasn't anything really bad, but with McGonagall tight lipped about the situation as they walked—he could only wonder. Until finally by the time they reached the main floor of the castle she started talking.

"Mr. Lupin I assume by now you know that you are a very bright student. One of the top five in your class."

Remus blinked, and nearly ran into a wall when she said that. It was so off the wall from what he was thinking. She dragged him out of the tower mysteriously just to…compliment him? That really didn't make sense to him, but he would take it. Being one of the top five in his class meant a lot. Even if he was at the bottom of the top five, he knew that much. All because he was horrible at potions, if it wasn't for that he could be top dog so to speak. "Um, yes Professor." Had been all he could muster up to respond to her with.

She glanced his way with a raised eyebrow and tight lips, making him wonder if that was the expression she always carried. If she had been shocked would she still looked as if something horrible walked in front of her? Sure, she was nice and all…but she always had a way to scare him. Just…that look, that "I know something you don't know" look.

And she did know something, which became abundantly clear by the time that she managed to get him to the library. Hazel eyes looked over the glass windows and into the near empty library, unless it was close to a test, most people didn't set foot in the library. He wasn't one of those people, he lived there in the weekends when James and Sirius were plotting something he didn't approve of. A questioned brow was raised, why did she bring him here.

"The Headmaster has asked for you personally to tutor a third year in the Gryffindor House. She has arrived late, therefore needs to catch up quickly." McGonagall pushed her glasses up her nose and kept her gaze steady on Remus, causing the young werewolf to gulp with a nod.

If the Headmaster asked for him specifically it would be important right? Besides there were worse way's to spend his nights. McGonagall continued speaking before Remus could even open his mouth to say he would do it.

"Twice a week every Tuesday and Thursday, and maybe on the weekends if she really need's it. You will be given ten points for taking role as her tutor, and the job starts now."

She really didn't even give him a choice. Even if he wanted to say no he couldn't, she was already dragging him into the library and taking him to one of the very last rows of tables to see the most awe inspiring sight he had ever before seen in his life.

Remus didn't know what to expect, he didn't know many of the third years but he could usually match names to faces—he was a Prefect after all, that was what was expected of him. However, the girl in front of him didn't ring any bell's in his head. That however was not what was awe inspiring about her.

It was how she just seemed to be off in her own world. Her head tilted forward as she read from a rather large worn book, orange hair laying flat against her head hiding her face from view. Small hand scribbling notes on a spare sheet of parchment. She was oblivious to anything around her, and she seemed…

It was funny really, he was only a few feet away from her, she wasn't even looking at him so he couldn't gauge her facial expression—but she just seemed so…sad. He could feel it in his very core, no matter how weird it was he knew she felt sad. For the first time in his life, Remus was speechless because of a girl. Even when she looked up, he knew she wasn't the prettiest girl he had ever seen, that of course went to Lily Evans—but this girl…was just…

He didn't know, couldn't understand why he felt like this. Deep blue eyes peered at him and McGonagall before she hurried to stand, and he noticed how small she actually was. Then again, at sixteen he was already nearing six foot three, so he was usually towering over anyone anyway. She was just small, as if the wind would blow and she would be broken. He didn't want that to happen, especially when he seen her flushed expression. Her eyes darted away and he finally realized why…he was staring at the poor girl.

His eyes darted away immediately, and he could hear McGonagall make some sort of 'hmm' noise. "Mr. Lupin, this will be your charge for the next few weeks. Kit Anderson. Likewise, Miss. Anderson—Remus will be your tutor for the time you need one."

Kit nodded, and Remus did the same. Although he was still confused about what the heck he was feeling—he just met her, hadn't even spoken a word to her and still he felt a burning ache inside to be near her, to hold her hand, comfort her, listen to whatever she had to say.

"Very well then, I will leave you two to your studies." With that Professor McGonagall left the library, of course along the way she scolded Alice Quigley for drumming her fingers on a nearby desk.

Thus leaving Remus alone with Kit. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and brought a hand to rub the back of his head, causing sandy brown hair to mess up even more. His hair wasn't that long, not as long as Sirius' and certainly not as messy as James' but Remus had long enough hair to look like bed head the moment his hand scratched at his skull out of nervousness.

"Hi Remus." Her voice was quiet, so quiet he nearly had to strain in order to hear her voice. She had already had sat back down in her seat, and for the first time Remus felt bad—not because she was so sad, but because he didn't know who she was. His mind drew a blank when it came to her.

"Hullo Kit, nice to meet you." He paused for a moment, moving to sit down next to her was a bad idea—he could have just sat down across from her, but he ended up pulling out that chair only inches away from her body. He noticed her go stiff for a moment as he sat down, one of his hands moving to grab a book from a pile.

"H-history of Magic." She stated, glancing over towards him with a nod of her head causing that limp hair to fall forward into her pale face. She gave a nod towards the book, as if unsure of him being so close to her. "Troll wars of the early eighteenth century; I figured I'd start with the most boring and work my way up."

He'd grin, "I don't think anyone could find History of Magic anything but boring." Which was the truth, things were just so dull. Even if the Troll Wars were somewhat interesting, they would always be hindered by the Professor's low monotone voice that lulled anyone to sleep. "I think I remember this though." Stated after a bit of deliberation, he remembered it all right—after all third year wasn't too long ago.

His knee bumped into hers when he moved to look over what she had written down as notes so far. Remus felt his face flush, and seen her face flush—she was cute when she did that, beat red for just a moment as she looked anywhere but him. Remus couldn't believe that he thought she was cute already—he was always scolding Sirius for falling in and out of love so easily, and now look at him. He was falling in love just as—wait a minute love?

No way.

No possible way.

And yet there was a lingering thought in his mind, a Muggle phrase…

Love at first sight.


Kit didn't know what to expect when it came to having a tutor, which might have been why Remus caught her off guard. Sure she knew who he was—everyone knew who he was, one of the most popular boys in school because he hung out with James Potter and Sirius Black. Sure, Kit might not of been one for socializing, or leaving the dorm room much—but she did know who certain figures of popularity were.

He just felt so different. She had never actually been within five feet of him at any given time, but now that he was sitting so close to her. It was like she felt—safe? For the first time since she was little she felt safe, really safe. Funny wasn't it? She didn't understand why him being so close to her made her feel so at ease. She laughed at his jokes, and told him how lame she thought History of Magic was.

It was like, this was the way things were supposed to be. Which was more then certainly why she felt so bad when he had to leave. Well, actually they both had to leave. They would be kicked out of the library if they stayed much longer. The good news was that with his help she managed to finish two parchments of a essay on the Troll Wars, and managed to start making a chart of healing plants for Herbology.

"Here, let me help you with those." Kit was drawn out of thought as they headed out of the library. In her hands was a rather large stack of books, and Remus was quickly making the stack lighter by taking quite a few books into his arms.

"Thanks Remus. I would have probably collapsed halfway up to the tower because of the weight of them." She said jokingly, but it was very obvious that those books would have probably ended up causing a situation on the stairs if she had continued to hold them. She was just trying to keep some sort of conversation going, which was hard. She was never a very vocal person, but she wanted to hear him speak. He had a deep voice, up beat, raspy. She liked it.

She liked him. The way he towered over her, the way his hair fell in his eyes when he was looking over her work, or how he chewed on the end of a quill while thinking. Remus, was without a doubt very cute. At least in Kit's opinion, but then again according to her mother she didn't have a very good taste in men, especially when she said that David Bowie was cute.

Kit had to roll her eyes even thinking about that, the up and coming British rock star was definitely cute, no matter what her mother thought. So, Remus was cute—and anyone that thought otherwise could go choke on a Hippogriff.

Funny really, she had only been speaking to him for a few hours—but it felt like ages. As if they had been talking since the moment she was born, as if they knew exactly what the other was thinking, because he had finished her sentences a lot actually. She furrowed her brows thinking about that.

Okay, that was kind of creepy now wasn't it?

"Thus why I thought it would be a good idea to be a pack mule." Remus grinned down at her as they headed up one of the castles many staircases. That grin was enough to make her nearly trip because she hadn't been paying much attention to the stairs. "Careful there…" He reminded her, still grinning in amusement.

"I think the stairs tripped me…" Kit said giving a small grin in return of his amusement.

His head canted off to one side and he gave a nod, "Those stairs…tricky buggers really."

"Glad you understand my pain then." She stated with a roll of her eyes. It was nice…talking like this, being…playful.

Her stomach flipped around a bit as they approached the Fat Lady portrait. This was the end of the line. "Think you'll be able to make it up to the girls dorm with these books? I don't think I'll be able to carry them up the stairs—halfway up I'll end up sliding back down. Nocifix." Remus said the password and the portrait swung open, allowing the two inside.

The common room was still packed, and would be for another hour. Although Kit never spent much time there. Too many people that she really never talked to. What was the point of sitting down there alone if she could sit alone in her dorm, on a comfy bed and relax?

"I think I can manage. Thanks again Remus—for everything."

He nodded, stopping with her just at the steps of the girls dorms. Warmly smiling down at her as if he wanted to say something but didn't know how to get the words out. Finally he started to slowly put her books back into the stack she held.

"You're welcome Kit, glad to help. I'll see you on Thursday?" It had to be her mind playing tricks on her, it really did. He sounded hopeful. It couldn't be though right? Why would he be hopeful to tutor a third year when he could be off hanging out with James Potter or Sirius Black?

She frowned briefly at the thought, but nodded her head as he placed the last book on the stack in her arms. So many books weighed enough to make her shoulders burn as she held them. "Thursday, same time."

He nodded and started backing away, a grin on his face. "Same pla—oh, sorry."

Kit grinned watching, Remus had been backing away not looking at where he was backing into…straight onto the lap of Sirius Black who was sitting in one of the comfy chairs near the fire. "Why, Remus Lupin—I never knew you thought of me like this…"

Was all she heard as Kit hurried up towards her dorm. There was a bright grin on her face by now, and why not? She had got out of the hospital, was back at Hogwarts, and just spent the afternoon being tutored by one of the greatest guy's in the world. What could be better?

She dumped her books onto her bed, shoulders making her body painfully aware that carrying so many books wasn't such a good idea. It had been a good night, but still…there was something nagging at her as she grabbed her pajama's out of the trunk at the end of her bed. The dorm room was empty now, silent, as most of her peer's were down in the common room.

She headed towards the bathroom, intent on getting her shower done, and getting into bed before the others came upstairs. It was when she made it to the bathroom that she remembered what was nagging at her.

She had automatically grabbed it. Out of habit. That small pocket knife that she had stolen from her father the year previously before coming to school. One hand held pale pink pajama's, the other hand held that small knife—just like it belonged there.

Kit had forgotten all about it, all about the idea of hurting herself—but apparently her subconscious didn't. After all, how long could that feeling of safety last? It was gone now that she thought about it, nothing but a cold chill dancing around the nape of her neck reminding her that there was no possible way Remus Lupin would ever like her.

She was damaged. He wouldn't like someone like her, even if it felt like…

Like they connected. It was a laughable thought really, no one could connect that quickly.

Kit gave a sigh, letting the breath out of her lungs as she dragged herself into the bathroom. There was no possible way they could have 'connected' no possible way he would like her. Even if she liked him.

Like?

No…she didn't just like him. Love. That sounded better didn't it? After four hours in a library? Love? Well, Kit had to just frown at that—it wasn't possible.

But there was that nagging at her mind again. That simple thought…that simple phrase dancing on her tongue.

Love at first sight…


Authors Note: I'm shooting for an update every other day. It seems to take that long to write a pretty decent sized chapter. This one had a bit of fluff, but for their first meeting it needed to be that way. Don't worry, there will be a lot of conflict sooner or later, their relationship won't be roses all the time. You just have to remember this, they share the same soul--that's what a Twin Flame is, thus why they feel so connected when they first lay eyes on each other.

Next up: Accepting the Future

Also, a big thank-you to those of you that reviewed the first chapter. It means a lot to know people are reading this.