A/N: Thanks to all the reviewers! There may not be many but at least I'm getting some!
Izzles: Hahahahaha... And you loved it just as much as you love a certain LL, right? ROFLMAO!
KittKatMcNamera: Nice detailed review, Kat. Lol, jk. Keep 'em up!
Girl-Of-Legends: Yay! You liked it! I knew you'd like the Sean stuff! Haha... Keep on reviewing!
Lucia: YAY! I heart Lucia and her reviews!
Disclaimer: I own nothing from this mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world. (Not even the Disclaimer).
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Alie the Author realized that she sort of forgot to speak of interactions between Ron and his spittoon (also known as a cuspidor) in the last chapter. So, before we continue with the story, the next paragraph will be designated to Ron and his cuspidor.
Ron had massive amounts of tobacco wadded up in his mouth. He knew that he could get Hairy Tongue Disease or half his face smushed off- he saw so in a Health class video- but luckily he had El Diablo, his Cuspidor -that word is neglected; it needs capitilization- to spit it all into before the cancerous shrubs burrowed into various spaces of his mouth. He spat into El Diablo the Cuspidor and then, finding nothing else of use to him to spit into it since he had used up all of his lovely phlem, tobacco, and fruity flavored gum, he drank the contents of El Diablo the Cuspidor. He drank them dry. Realizing how unbelievably disgusting that was- so gross, someone on MTV or Survivor wouldn't even have to drink it- because he was drinking tobacco, gum, lip gloss, phlem, earwax, and saliva all mixed together in a witchy- er... smelly brew, he threw up. He threw up everywhere. It got on Ellie, his newly discovered long-lost relative, it got on Harry, who was snorfing Pixie Stix, it got on Dumbledore who was several metres (I feel British!) away, it got on Hermione who was trying to explain her real name to Legolas Greenleaf, who got it on himself, as well. It even got on Manny and Draco who were having a nice shag in the closet.
I told you it was everywhere.
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Now back to the story...
"Hey! Hey, Ginevra Maurice Weasley D'oh I Mean Homer Simpson D'oh I Mean Fuck Hermione Granger, look at that guy! Over there!" Legolas Greenleaf was having a bit of a spaz attack. He just saw someone he thought he recognized.
"That's just a mirror, you douche," Hermione responded arrogantly. All images of a sexy Legolas had now been stripped from her mind and all she felt toward this idiot was annoyance.
"Oh, really?" he questioned. "Well then how come my reflection's facing the wrong way and not doing what I'm doing?"
Hermione frowned and examined said "reflection". Hmmm... The moronic elf had a point. This reflection was indeed facing the wrong direction. And now that she looked at him a bit more carefully she realized that his hair and outfit completely differed from that of Mr. Greenleaf.
She darted across the room, stripped Ron of his Sherlock Holmes outfit, threw it on herself, and sprinted back to Legolas and the Mysterious Relfection.
She then approached the Mystery Man and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, Mr." she said.
He turned around to face her. "Yes?"
"What's your name and why do you look just like that man?" she inquired, pointing at Legolas who waved, a cheesy smile plastered upon his chiseled face.
The man gasped. "Wow! We do look alike! Who is that?"
"TELL ME WHO YOU ARE, DAMMIT!" She shoved her magnifying glass in his face. It was becoming a lethal weapon.
"I-I- my name is W-will Turner." For some reason this sexy pirate was feeling a tad intimidated by a little girl with a magnifying glass.
I told you it was becoming a lethal weapon.
Will's eyes shot up and he stared straight at Legolas, who was now growling angrily at him. Will brushed Hermione to the side and approached Legolas, fire in his eyes. The crowd had now spread out and given them a clear circle to fight in. And that's just what they did. Will launched himself at Legolas, throwing punches at his face like nobody's business. Legolas jumped up and threw Will off of him. He grabbed an arrow out of somewhere behind it and loaded it onto a bow that he had generated out of nowhere and shot it right under Will's right ear.
"Think of that as your warning," Legolas growled, his immature and stupid air disappearing and being replaced with an extremely menacing one. "No one messes with me."
Off to the side of the ring, Dawn Summers looked on and watch the twins' quarrel. She stared at Will Turner, in love with his loveliness and how utterly sexy he was. She was unaware of the fact that Legolas looked exactly the same.
Suddenly her fantasies were inturrupted by someone speaking to her from her left.
"Too bad he has a girlfriend," they said.
Dawn spun around and was face-to-face with Paige Michaelchuk. Or however you spell it.
"Huh?" Dawn responded.
"Look." Paige pointed to a woman wearing a dress that made her look a thousand times skinnier than she actually was and an ugly hat. The woman was fanning herself snobbishly and her mouth was permanantly open in a somewhat perplexed and triangular expression.
"Ew," Dawn said. "That's his girlfriend? Wow, he can do way better."
"God, I know," Paige agreed.
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(A/N: I don't watch Angel, so I don't know how they brought Spike back to life or do whatever they did, but for the purposes of this story, he's been brought back to life or whatever happened in Angel.)
Spike was smoking a cigarette in the Entrance Hall. This stupid party was way too much for him. Quite frankly, hanging out with a bunch of gradeschoolers and adults with extreme lack of lives was not his idea of a good time.
Apparently someone else had the same idea.
"I cannot stand it in there," they announced, from somewhere to Spike's right.
Spike turned to face him and did a double take, astonished with what he saw.
"Jack?"
"Spike?"
(A/N: This most likely makes no sense, but I have no idea when Pirates of the Caribbean takes place and I don't know Spike's life insanely well so this could very well not make any sense with real life and real time and... yeah I'll shut up.)
Jack Sparrow and Spike stared at each other with disbelief. Were their eyes decieving them?
"Whoa, man, long time no see!" Spike cried, embracing his friend excitedly.
"Yeah!" Jack Sparrow responded giddily. They hadn't seen each other in quite some time. "I haven't seen you since... Since... Hmm..." He was a bit confused. When had they seen each other?
Spike was a bit at a loss for memories as well. He stood there standingishly for a second.
"Well," Jack responded, heaving a large sigh. "You'll find peace at home now. I'm so sick and tired of being myself."
Spike shrugged in agreement. "What's so wrong with being sad?"
"Seriously," Jack responded with a chuckle. "Thank you, Alex Greenwald!"
The two laughed together in unison like a duo of two laughing people who were laughing together. Yeah!
"I can't take it anymore!" someone cried storming into the room and throwing their hands up in the air in exasperation.
"Excuse me, we're done quoting Phantom Planet. Did you get the memo?" Jack Sparrow said angrishingly.
"I turn pale when she walks by, I am lost in her eyes. She is always on my mind," Spike whispered to himself as he gazed at the beauty who had just entered the hallway.
Then he realized it was Buffy.
She looked Jack up and down. "What's with your outfit?" she questioned.
He was about to respond when Spike did it for him. "This is Jack Sparrow, an old friend of mine. But we can't seem to remember when we last saw each other."
"Captain Jack Sparrow."
Buffy nodded. "Mmmhmm... Are you sure Alie the Author didn't just forget the details of Pirates of the Caribbean and not feel like making up some background story about the two of you?"
Spike shrugged. "Could be."
Captain Jack agreed. "Yeah..."
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Jonathan J. Pryor II was standing very bored in a corner of the room. In his arms he was holding a (thankfully) sleeping Jonathan J. Pryor III. Haven't you always wondered what the second J stood for? I have. You haven't? Well you should.
Douche.
1 Crush was echoing through the room. JJ was disgusted at this disgraceful and vile music. Why didn't the have something from... the sixties... or something. Truthfully, JJ didn't know diddly squat about the sixties. He just pretended he did.
Something caught his eye from the corner of his eye. Or the corner of the room. Whichever you prefer.
Anywho: it was a group of guys (eleven of them, to be exact) hanging around a table playing poker.
w00t poker looked like bundles of fun to a very bored JJ. So he dropped his baby into the arms of the nearest person (who happened to be Principal Wood) before skipping off and throwing himself into the one empty chair that happened to convienently be there. Literally.
"'Sup, boys?" he questioned. "Can I join in on your little bundle of joy?"
Rusty Ryan threw some cards at him. Literally.
(A/N: Just incase you were wondering, I have no idea how to play poker.)
"w00t," came out of JJ's mouth. "This is some hot stuff, bitchaz."
"Aren't you supposed to be from the sixties?" Linus Caldwell asked. He was a bit concerned. And angered. That's all he ever is.
JJ shrugged, examining his shitty-shit-shit-shitty hand.
Don Cheadle's character laughed. Alie the Author seems to have forgotten what his name is. Basher? Banger? Boozer? Buncher? One of those. For now he is christened BBBB. Or BBB for short.
Linus Caldwell jumped up in anger. "WHO DIED AND MADE YOU DANNY?" he cried angrishly. "HUH? WHO!"
"It's not in my nature to be mysterious, but-" Ryan to the Rusty was cut off.
By Turk Malloy, to be exact. "Look, we've heard it already, Rusty."
"Actually, I don't believe you were in that scene," Virigil informed his brother for whom he had absolutely no respect.
"Actually, I do believe I was," Turk responded.
He was pissed.
"No, you weren't!" So was he.
"Yes I was! Was I in that scene? I WAS! I WAS! I WAS I WAS I WAS I WAS!"
Shall we leave it at that?
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A/N: Aaaahh! It's taking me so long to update! slaps herself Gawsh. But please review! That will DEFINITELY compel me to update faster! And plus I'll give you eighteen oreos and some sesame chicken from Lichee Nut because that stuff is mad good.
I concur.
