A/N: Thank you, reviewers! Oh, and I realize that the Phantom Planet lyrics in the last chapter are wrong lol.
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. Including those lyrics. Meaning I don't own them. Do you?
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Paige Michalchuk- her last name has been dubbed (?) the most awesome thing since sliced bread, execpt for the fact that tis utterly impossible to spell- and Dawn Summers were slounging in a corner of the room, discussing the annoyance they felt toward Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan Turner at the moment. Though, needless to say, that had no idizzio that Elizabeth Swan Turner was indeed named Elizabeth Swan Turner. In fact, Alie the Author herself wasn't even so sure.
Dawn sighed. She hated Mr. and Mrs. Will Turner for their godforsaken Disney relationship, but then again she couldn't help fainting evertyime she saw him. Literally. She actually fainted and fell on the floor everytime she saw him. In fact, she was on the floor right now.
"Ew!" she cried, getting up and pulling a mysterious substance out of her hair. It was a chunk of Ron's vomit (A/N: Sorry). Then she realized that there was also a piece of paper stuck to her hair! Gasp!
"Oh my God!" Paige cried. "What does it say!"
Dawn unfolded the paper slowly for an unsexual but very sexual and climactic climax and read the words written in red on the red read paper. Read.
"Sucker love is Heaven sent, you pucker up our passion's spent. My heart's a tart, you're body's rent, my body's broken, yours is bent," she read confuzzledly. "Carve your name into my arm, instead of stressed I lie here charmed. Cuz there's nothing else to do, every me and every you."
"Hmm," Paige responded more like a statement than an actual "hmm". So it was more like "hm". Minus one "m".
Ginny hobbled over and sat down next to the two. They were sitting in random chairs in the corner. Not at an actual table, incase you were wondering.
Ginny snarked. (A/N: That is a real world according to Deandra)
An ugly girl with an utterly monotonous face and an utterly monotonous voice and udderly monotonous udders sat down next to Ginny.
"You know that snarking is very bad for you," she expressed.
Ginny snarked in her face very loudly.
The monotonous girl with the udders, aka the monotonous girl with the udders held out a hand in Ginny's snark-filled face. "I'm Patty Pryor," she expressed. Because all she does is express. Because she is the most monotonous person in the world. No, the universe.
Ginny nodded. Because Alie the Author didn't want Ginny and Patty to have a bad relationship, but she did that by accident and is to lazy to make it develop into a good relationship, Murchie popped out of the floor and said "wingardium friendsius!" while waving a drum stick (not a chicken leg). He did the weird shifty eye thing, turned bright red and then fell into the floor again.
Ginny and Patty were magically friends
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In the middle of the room, Ron was standing. He saw Buffy a few yards/metres/miles/feet/foots/blsdkfjss away.
"Wow, she's smokin," he said to himself, doing the worm.
"You know what, man?" Harry snarked, getting up from the floor where several coke lines had been placed to spell out "Harry is my Hero". "This party is off the HEEZY! Just playin, it reaks of horrible fish and shrimp. Gross. And that's whack."
"You're right," X to the Z -ibit concurred. (A/N: Don't report me please!). "And sometimes, one plus one equals ZERO!"
"You know what, dogg?" Harry said, turning to Ron and scuffing up the coke lines on the floor. They now read "I Iolly o (scribble scribble scribble) I Ioro". "I say we do something about that dude over there, because he TOTALLY looks like-"
This time Harry was cut off by Shiney breaking a stick. A music stick. Or rather, a music baton.
"DEFINITELY!" Ron concurred- Alie the Author is having way too much fun with this word- staring at Rusty Ryan, about whom they were talking. Hmm... did that make any sense?
The two determined rascals marched across the room to their prey. He was playing cars (A/N: I accidentally wrote this but I'm keeping it this way) with JJ Pryor and 10 other random guys.
"Oh, man, it's JJ!" Harry cried. "I love you! American Dreams is so emotional-"
Ron cut him off. "This isn't time for your games, Harry!" he snapped, snapping his fingers in his face flamboyantly.
"Sorry, sir!" Harry said, snipping into attention with his hand poised on his forehead like a soldier. Or more specifically Marine, just because JJ was just a few feet behind. "Leutenent GI Potter reporting for duty, sir!"
"Yeah, yeah." Ron flopped his hand. Then he grabbed Rusty Ryan and pulled him with his few muscles to the side. Realizing he had no plan, he reseated Mr. Ryan. Then he went off to find Kathryn Merteuil.
"I need help with blackmail," Ron announced with Harry at his heels when he found Kathryn.
Kathryn's face lit up at this. Blackmail was her favorite word. In fact, it was her middle name. "Oooh... you name it, they've been mailed blackly from me, boys," Kathryn responded confidentely. Her words were filled with confidence. Really? Yup. I enjoy having conversations with myself.
"Yippee!" Harry cried enthusiastically. In my head he is short.
"So, find something bad about THAT man so that we can blackmail him," Ron said, pointing a long finger that had a nail painted with glittery magenta nail polish on it straight at Rusty Ryan.
"That man?" she responded, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.
"Yup," Ron responded.
And Kathryn was off. And Ron spat into his cuspidor. He had found some pudding.
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Buffy Summers was standing boredly in the corner. She was very squished in the corner, seeing as that everyone happened to be there. But nevertheless, she was in the corner. Squished.
She turned her heavily hairsprayed head a bit so she could see the crazy people flitting about her. They were indeed very crazy. Then suddenly something very interesting caught her eye. It was a girl. She was snooping around. And she looked just like Buffy.
A DEMON! Buffy immediately thought. A demon has made it's way to this stupid party! Oh my god!
Buffy left the corner and stormed around the room in circles and circles and more circles in search of Giles. Or Willow. Or Xander. Or one of those people.
"Giles! Giles, Giles, Giles, Giles, Giles!" she cried upon encountering the man. "RUPERT GILES!"
"Um... yes?" Giles responded, since he has the inability to form complete sentences without sticking the world "um", "uh" or clearing his throat in the middle. He wiped his glasses on his shirt.
"There's a demon here," Buffy said.
Without further explanation- she didn't find it necessary- she dragged the Brit across the room to where the mysteriuos demon/Buffy look-alike was located. Buffy grabbed a crossbow out of thin air, loaded it with one of Legolas's arrows, and pointed it straight at the girl.
"Show yourself," she commanded.
The girl looked up, startled.
"Excuse me?" she expressed. Oh wait, sorry, that word is reserved for usage by Patty Pryor only. She... said...
"Show yourself." Buffy silenced herself for a dramatic pause. Everyone was watching now. "Demon."
The room gasped. Gaspy gasp gasp gaspimus gaspisthimuses. It was gaspfully gaspful and gaspisherly gasping. Gasp! In conclusion, every human being or bug or character or annoying piece of shit on a stick in the room gasped. ...I just wrote an essay!
A girl stepped through the crowd. It was Cecile Caldwell.
"What are you doing to Kathryn?" she asked.
"Kathryn?" Buffy questioned. "What kind of demon is named Kathryn?"
"Demon?" Cecile laughed forcedly. Sort of like she was constipated. "Kathryn may be a bitch but she's no demon."
"Well then, why does she look exactly like me?" Buffy questioned angrily.
Legolas and Will pushed their ways through the crowd at the same time.
"We look the same also!" they cried. Then they started punching each other. Like lions.
Buffy slowly lowered her crossbow after another silent silence during which you could hear various growls.
Linus Caldwell stumbled into the center of the ring. There were so many people in the center now that it was almost not a center. WHERE HATH MY DONUT GONE?
"Cecile! I haven't seen you in ages!" he cried, enveloping his cousin in a great big hug.
"Hey, Linus!" she quiggled (that was a typo and I'm keeping it that way). When they released from their hug Cecile's pocket was a tad bit lighter. "This iced tea tastes funny."
"It's from Long Island," Linus explained.
Cecile drank harder.
"So, how are things going down under? Blossoming, I hope."
"Excuse me, Mr. Caldwell, you remind me a lot of my late step-brother Sebastian Valmont-" Kathryn started.
"Oh yes, we were good friends, him and I," Linus said.
Kathryn was taken aback. She lost her seductive and evil demeanor. "Seriously? Weird..." Then she found it again. "I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about your friend Rusty Ryan over there..."
"Why?"
"Oh, because. I guarantee there will be something in it for you..."
She led him into a bush. He got hives from it. So Madame Pomfrey took him upstairs to treat them. A determined Kathryn Merteuil followed.
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Manny and Draco exited the broom closet thing they were doing the nasty in. Manny was pregnant! Dun, dun, DUN!
Since TV shows either go really quickly through time or really slowly, Manny's pregnancy is going to go very quickly. So her tummy is very big. Very, very big.
"Goodness, gracious, what have you done?" Gavin asked, his mouth agape like a bowl of grapes.
Manny blushed and squeezed the hand of the father of her baby.
"We're pregnant," she announced to the now magically silent room.
Exactly half the room cheered, while exactly one quarter of the room booed and the other quarter remained silent, listening to the chirping chipmunks and squirrels eating rabbits and then vomiting them up for the pigeons and hummingbirds to pick at. How morbid. Morbid fact du jour.
Spinner- I mean Gavin- launched himself at Draco ferociously. But Draco was too quick. He whipped his wand out and sent Sp- Gavin flying across the room. This is mainly because Alie the Author is sick of fighting. Lets make peace. Or better yet, lets make peas.
"Peace? I hate the word. As I hate hell. And all Montagues."
"Thanks, Tybalt."
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A/N: Please review and I'll give you twelve packs of sliced bread and an autograph from Shiney, the music teacher, who worked on the "My Boo" music video! (Or so he claims.)
