It came to me again, that funny feeling, almost like seeing a photograph and the negative at the same time.

I squinted at Ponyboy and Johnny, trying to figure it out. But whatever it was, it was just out of reach.

So I ignored it best I could, and smiled at Soda and Darry's greetings, took off Johnny's jacket and laid it on the back of a chair.

It was funny how different Soda and Darry were. Ponyboy said Darry looked just exactly like his dad but didn't act like him. I didn't remember his parents at all. It's funny but I don't recall ever seeing his parents. Just the fallout from their deaths. Just the way Darry had to take all the responsibility for Pony and Soda when he was only 20.

I was never that comfortable around Darry because he was so much older but also because he seemed older. He seemed like 30 or even 40, and there wasn't a whole lot to say to him.

But Soda was a whole other story. He was cute, he was beyond cute. Ponyboy and Johnny were cute…Soda was shiningly handsome, with his wide smile, the way his eyes sparkled with mischief and excitement. And Soda always made you feel like it was only you he was interested in, like he thought you were so important. It just felt good to be around Soda.

And then Ponyboy who was usually so quiet, sometimes he'd say something kinda funny or sarcastic and it would crack me up.

Eating supper with them I thought it was lucky I had them, since my mom was never home and the boyfriends she'd bring home sometimes seemed more interested in me than in her. I bit my lip, thinking of that. I glanced at Johnny. He was just picking at his food. It was what I had in common with him. We both had to avoid going home.

Outside, smoking on the back porch, the little nicotine buzz making me smile, I had that thought again. That feeling. It was eerie, really.

"Well, whaddya know?"

"Hey, Two bit," Ponyboy said as Two bit hopped up on the porch.

"Hey, kid," he said to Johnny, trying to mess up his hair. Johnny jerked away.

"C'mon," he said, making Two bit smile. Then he saw me.

"Ann, my darling," he dropped on one knee, took my hand, put a lovesick, pleading expression on his face.

"Be my wife! Please! I'll be a miserable, heartbroken man if you don't!"

I blushed furiously.

"Never, Two bit. Now get up," I yanked him up and he straightened, smiled for a second before resuming the character.

"Why! Tell me why! I demand to know!"

I smiled and leaned my head on Johnny's shoulder.

"Because I'm marrying Johnny, that's why,"

"Fine. I'm getting a beer. Y'all want some?"

Johnny and me nodded but Ponyboy declined, said he had to do homework. Disappeared into the house.

The beer tasted good, and I watched Johnny drink, watched how it loosened him up, made him smile more. Beer had no visible effect on Two bit. Me, it just mellowed me out.

And it was nice, a nice soft night, the air gentle. Nothing pressed on my heart, and again I had the feeling that I was missing something, or should know something, had known something. I shook my head. Maybe I was going crazy.