Hmmmm... what would the Chuunin Exam have been like if it had been completed?
I sadly, do NOT own Naruto, or else I would have renamed it Kakashi!
White Fang, Lightning's Howl: The Secret of the Hatake
Growing Pain
The dinner was amazing.
Some of her specially chosen friends were there. Dignitaries were there, discussing the merits of all the Genins they had seen that day.
Tsunade and Gaara had come up to congratulate her on her success.
Gaara had been particularly silent.
Then, he said quietly, "I see that Naruto must have encouraged you too."
Sakura blushed.
"Naruto has that effect on people," Tsunade said, good-humoredly. "I should know that well."
Sakura smiled a small smile. She had heard it all from Shizune one afternoon.
Gaara quirked a smile and glanced at Temari.
"That young man – death is sad – but for some, Sakura-san, it is necessary." He nodded. "No need to bear sorrow on such a day as this."
Sakura bowed and retreated.
It wasn't hard to forget.
She didn't know what she wanted – but she needed something.
Throughout the whole meal, she kept her eye open for Kakashi. He wasn't there – they had not been expecting him. It didn't seem right that he wasn't here.
After all, he's the one who had taught me the genjutsu.
Several hours later, she located a quiet balcony, where she could marshal her thoughts. The sound of a page turning caught her attention and she turned to the left, to find Kakashi engrossed in yet another romance.
Sitting on the roof among the shadows.
Kakashi looked up, and blushed, scratching his head.
"You should come in, Kakashi-sensei," she said softly. "You of all people should be praised for today."
Kakashi shook his head.
"I should have spent more time teaching you taijutsu – you got yourself beaten up pretty badly…."
Sakura smiled. "I'm remedying that on my own time. You should not feel so guilty."
Kakashi looked up startled.
"I really wanted you here tonight because I wanted to thank you. Even publicly."
"Eh?" he asked.
"You aren't a shinobi with a lot of enthusiasm in his face. You're always late and you really are a pervert, reading those books. But…. When I was most down, your face reminded me of your words. That you believed in me…."
She trailed off remembering.
Yes. I hope you do well. I know you will do well. I know I sometimes don't sound like it but I have faith in you.
Kakashi hopped over the balcony, pocketing his book and leaning his skinny butt against the rail.
"Those words – raised in me a fighting spirit," Sakura said.
"Fighting spirit." Kakashi echoed.
"I guess you heard that before. Tsunade said that the Third talked about it a lot. How the shinobi of Konoha were a people of love – much more like passion – and this was the fuel for the fighting spirit."
"That's right."
"Those words – you recognized me. That made me feel happy. I didn't want to let anybody down. But I really didn't want to let my team down…."
Sakura sighed.
Kakashi smiled.
Fighting spirit, eh? Wasn't that what his retreat had been all about?
For a moment, they savoured the silence. Until, Iruka walked out onto the balcony holding onto a teacup and nervously looking around for the horticulturist teacher who had been stalking him recently.
Catching sight of Kakashi, he froze.
"Kakashi-sensei?" he asked.
Suddenly, he remembered Genma's words.
"Genma says 'hi'."
"I bet he says 'hi', " Kakashi grunted. "Funny, he's too afraid to show his face to me…. I should fix that."
"He said one other thing," Iruka said, with a blush, "He said that if you wanted more anytime, to just go to him."
Kakashi raised his eyebrows.
Iruka sweated.
"Let's forget Genma," Sakura said hastily.
"Where have you been?" asked Iruka. "I – we've – been worried about you."
"Around," Kakashi said. "Training."
"Ahhh…."
"Yep, I figure this war will be really tough for us," Kakashi nodded. "So I went to do some training."
"Ummmm…. But you could have done your training here," Sakura pointed out.
Iruka nodded in agreement, mystified.
"Ahhhh…. This was special training." Kakashi said.
Yeah, special training, my butt. Sakura thought. He probably took the time for a vacation or something.
Special training? Iruka wondered. Kakashi is already an amazing shinobi – what more could he do? Except become a Sannin – and that's really impossible – although they say his father was a Sannin in everything but name – but that doesn't mean that Kakashi could become one – and then if he did, would he really want to spend the time with us?
He still acts the same to me – some training, Sakura thought . Although, he's more toned and more in shape.
Glancing at their skeptical faces, Kakashi smiled.
My reputation for passivity I guess is beyond fixing. Oh well. As Shikamaru says, it's too troublesome. It's too troublesome to change an image quickly.
There was a thoughtful pause.
Iruka leaned back on the rail.
"So… Sakura." He said. "You killed your first man today. How do you feel about that? You okay?"
"Just what I was going to ask." Kakashi said.
Sakura sighed.
"I don't know. First I was too shocked. Then, I felt sad and sick. I felt like a monster. He had dreams and a life just like me…."
"All people do," said Kakashi. "Except, you must remember, many of their dreams and lives are bent on removing you."
Iruka smiled.
"I cannot tell you anything that will make you feel better, Sakura." He smiled. "But you must understand, that it was his time to go. It was better that he went. I know. The Hokage told me he was a dishonour to his village. You have done the Mizukage a favour."
Sakura smiled sadly. Still uncomforted.
"Iiiirrrruukkkaaa!" A high-pitched voice called, as it entered through the balcony door.
"Shibato!" Iruka hissed and jumped over the balcony and down to the street.
He disappeared around the corner.
"Have you seen Iruka-sensei?" asked the horticulturist.
"Uh… he's been around…." Sakura said, truthfully.
"I don't know where he went, though," Kakashi added.
The scary lady nodded and left the balcony.
"Sakura."
He said. Then paused.
"Did I ever tell you about my first kill?"
"No. You never tell us anything."
"Ehhh…. Well, some things you should never know…. But I was only five when I killed my first man."
Sakura was speechless.
"Well…. Not a man, really. It was a fellow chuunin kunoichi."
Sakura was shocked.
"I couldn't get over it for weeks."
There was a silence.
"What happened?" asked Sakura.
"My father came to me one night, and sat down. He said to me, 'To protect your important person – to fight out of love – is the most important rule of the shinobi. What makes a shinobi is not his jutsu but love, loyalty, courage and hard work.'"
"And?"
"I sat there. But I could still not understand because it had seemed so senseless at the time. But later, I learned that good things came out of it. It was the best thing for Konoha in the long run. Of course, as you get older, you will learn how to kill an enemy in a cleaner way and even learn how to disarm them and stuff…. But for now, what happened is inevitable. A duty. Not a shame."
He paused.
"Never be ashamed of who you are – be what you were meant to be. Be proud of your right actions and correct your wrong. That is the way of the strong shinobi."
Sakura smiled as she stared up at the sky. She felt sad but her heart was also lighter.
Kakashi closed his book and stowed it away. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"I cannot repeat it too much. You made me proud today. For sure you will be made a chuunin. You showed great skills and great strategies."
He turned and jumped onto the railing.
"Will we see each other soon?" she asked.
"It depends on the Hokage," he said.
She nodded.
"See you around then."
