I can't even get tabs to work this time and I'm tired, so I'm just posting it like this for now. :P
chapter 2. in my handwriting
John couldn't stop glancing up as he wrote. Kate was lounging on one of the cushier couches, trying to get into Steinbeck. Occasionally her eyes glazed over, but his were pretty much the only books in the shelter she hadn't read, and she was bored.
Scribbling furiously, John was trying to write so fast that he wouldn't be able to reconsider what he was writing. He had grown tired of the close-but-so-far-awayness between himself and Kate, and time was too short to keep dithering around. The only times his head completely cleared were when he and Kate touched, and they did touch; they always sat close together, fell asleep on each other's shoulders, threw their arms around each other in bed. But there was still that unspoken territory that John wanted to conquer.
All he wanted to do was hold Kate close, bury his face in her hair, tell her he loved her. And if she felt the same about him -- if, as he fantasized, she wanted nothing more than to wrap herself up in him -- well wasn't it stupid to keep on like this? He had to say something!
But even the great John Connor held within himself a pocket of cowardice, and so he was writing a letter.
-----
Kate opened her eyes, blinking sleepily. She had apparently fallen asleep again; the partially-read copy of East of Eden was splayed on the floor, and her mouth tasted like cotton.
She sat up and stretched, trying to undo the kinks. The couches weren't all that uncomfortable, but they weren�t made for sleeping.
She was just about to get up and go get some water when something on the coffee table caught her eye.
It was a folded piece of paper.
With her name on it.
Kate gingerly picked up the paper, frowning slightly. She gazed around the large open space, but John was nowhere in sight.
Unfolding the paper, she began to read. . .
Date:
unknown
Time:
unknown
Kate,
There are so many things I want to say to you but I can't, so,
all I can do
is put them in a letter. Please read the whole
letter
before finding
me - if you want to
find me after
youve read this.
First
things first I love you. I can't stop looking at you even when
I'm
writing this. I dont love you because "your here" or
because its fate
but just because.
My
whole life i knew I was going to become a great
leader
but
i never understood why. Its not like I feel some
great kenship
with people or
anything.
I understand now
Kate. I would destroy a terminator with my
bare
hands to keep you safe. All I want to do is hold you
and
if fighting means Ill be able to
keep doing that then i
will
fight.
Im sorry if the
letter isnt too good. You know that time we
spent
together in jr high? That was all the official
education
I got.
But Im smart
really I am, trust
me. :)
I think im alot
better when I talk
but
like I said I dont
have
the guts to say this outloud.
Youve fallen
asleep. I could just
sit here and stare
at
you
but I realy should give you this letter. If you want
to
find me ill be in the dining room.
John
John had drawn a smiley face after asking her to trust him, and Kate stared at it through her tears. She carefully folded the note, tucked it in her notebook, and tore out a sheet of fresh paper.
----
John was fiddling with a can of corn, reading its ingredients for the fifteenth time, when she came into the room. Her face was tearstreaked but serene, and she held a piece of paper. At first he thought it was his letter, but after she handed it to him he looked down and saw his name. She gave him a little smile and left.
Trembling a little, he opened the note.
John,
Your
letter was the most beautiful thing I've ever
read.
Don't
apologize for your grammar. You're the
bravest
man
I've ever met, and you've got smarts
where it counts.
:)
I
love you too John, and not just because we've been
thrown together.
I believe in fate
now, and I suppose
we are destined
to be. But I love
you for you, and
I'm
proud to be here
with you. I'll
fight for the honor
of being held by
you.
Okay
this is getting schmaltzy :), so meet me
in the bedroom
when you're done
reading.
Love,
Kate XXOO
John froze, dizzy with the both idea of Kate loving him and the idea of Kate waiting for him in the bedroom. Surely she didn't . . . mean . . .
Plus he didn't know what "schmaltzy" meant, which made him feel kind of stupid. But it's not like he didn't know Kate was the smart one, and besides, it was good for one of them to have book smarts. He knew his share of what would come in handy later.
He stared at the letter for several minutes, his eyes drawn to the "I love you"s. Then they would drift to the word "bedroom." His entire torso was full of butterflies, and he had to close his eyes to keep from passing out.
