Chapter 41: Past Misdeeds

What's going on? Where am I?

"You let someone close to you die."

"Who's there?" I asked, startled. I thought I was alone.

"No one."

I'm in the maze again? Guess I better follow the path.

"Go left." So I did. There was someone I knew at the end of the path. Who is it? I couldn't see it.

"You let you're fear control you. You can't leave while you're in this void of doubt."

My memories flashed before my eyes. It was like a movie, a slide show.

Was that really me? That can't be me. I'm not evil.

"But you were, and you paid for it."

"Am I dead?" I asked the person I didn't see.

"No, not yet." It said with a laugh.

"So where am I?"

"No where." It shrugged.

I continued on toward the person I couldn't see, but as I walked I made no progress, like walking the wrong way on a moving sidewalk, so I stopped.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You don't remember?"

"Its all a blur… I was bad."

"No, you just did some bad things." It replied.

"Why am I here, what's happened to Buu?"

"You wounded yourself to be rid of the Majin symbol and went into a coma. Sayjins use this time to heal, to find answers within themselves."

"So am I here because of what I did?"

"Yes. You're going to review your life, pretty much. You're going to find out why you were chosen to come, and not some other human child."

The figure's arm moved and the wall next to me changed to show a little girl sitting in a swing. She had glasses and unruly brown hair in pigtails.

"That's me. In third grade."

She, or I, was sitting in the swing by myself. Other kids thought I was weird, that cooties were real and I was their queen. Two boys came running up to me.

"Nah -nah! It's the four-eyed anteater!"

"Please stop calling me that." I said, tears in my small eyes.

"Oh, is the baby gonna cry? Does she want her mommy?"

"Go away!" the younger version of myself said, starting to cry. The two boys ran off laughing.

"I hate them. I hate them all." Third grade me said.

Then the image faded.

"Why did they call you that?"

"One time at lunch I was eating outside and a kid saw an ant on my plate. It went from there."

"Kids are so cruel." The figure moved its arms again, showing an older version of me, in fifth grade this time. I had just came to the school from my old one in the same district because of inner school politics.

I was in the class the first day and the teacher gave us a division review paper. The 5th grade me raised her hand.

"What is it, Katie?"

"I didn't learn division before I came here." 5th grade me said.

"And what do you want me to do about it?" the teacher replied.

"She was a real bitch." I said.

"Looks like it." the figure waved its arm again to show an image of myself slightly older than the previous one.

"Not a large jump between bad memories." It said sarcastically.

"Who are you? And why only bad memories?"

"You'll know soon who I am. There will be good memories, I promise."

This image was one I already knew when I saw her. I had my hair cut shorter like a boy's and I was a major video-game geek at this point.

It was gym class and we had a 'free day'. We could do or play whatever we wanted. So I went to a corner, where I presumed no one would bother me, and I got out my Gameboy. Then he came over. The biggest, dumbest boy I had ever met. His name was Billy Cornish, and I'd never forget him.

"Video-games are for boys, so go home and get your dollies out."

"I don't have dolls. I have video games." I said in a hateful tone. Sometimes after I used that tone he'd leave, but not today.

"What would you do if I did this?" he reached over and turned off my game. I got up and put the game into my pocket.

"You ass-hole! I just beat that level! I didn't get to save!" I hit him. I hit him over and over until the teacher came over and pulled him away. I saw him and he was scared, I immediately felt bad a little, but I was so mad I had foam at my mouth. Then the image faded.

"So, that was the first time you showed you true anger. The demon that resurfaced earlier today."

"I was so mad, I had wanted that level for so long. But that wasn't really why I hit him. My anger just built up over the years. I got in trouble, and he didn't. That damn teacher liked him at his worse better than she ever like me."

"So then what happened?"

"I found refuge in Dragonball Z. It started showing in America that year. I imagined being able to do those things so I could get back at people. But soon I realized I'd be as bad as Frieza if I did that. I imagined helping people if I could do the things they could. Even those bullies."

"That was when I was born." The figure said, "And you have helped people, for the most part." It waved its arm and another image shown bright.

It was me again, this time in middle school. I was in band class, playing the clarinet, and I was actually good at it. The teacher and my fellow band geeks cheered as I played one of the easier songs from memory without messing up.

Another image was shown. It was me, alone, at home playing around and acting as though I could do a Kamehameha Wave or something.

"I hurt Goku and the others. I killed without regret. I got Vegeta killed." Tears were welling up and my lower lip was trembling. I would cry if I kept going on. "What if I lose them all? I couldn't bare it! How could I do that?"

"Watch." It pointed to the wall as another image appeared.

I was in the tomb; it was my memory of that last day before I arrived here. The voices were telling me that I could have my deepest desire. It was to leave my bad life and go somewhere grand. To be someone different, to have power. To be trusted. I agreed, and the shadows swallowed me. I saw myself from ten years ago scream as it happened.

"You were afraid of that Darkness coming again. So you let your mental shield down and Babi-Dee got hold and twisted your thoughts so you'd agree to work with him."

"I hurt them, but it really wasn't me, was it?"

"Yes, it was you. But not the true you. Why do you think the Darkness hasn't gotten to you yet?" I shook my head, "You have an Inner Light that Darkness can never get to. Your Inner Light kept trying to get you to focus while you were Majin." I remembered something Piccolo once said, that I had a light the Darkness couldn't get to. That must have been what this figure was talking about, right?

"An Inner Light? How did I get it?" it pointed to the wall and another image started.

I was swimming in a pond near the Son house, a month after Trunks proposed.

"Why are you out here all by yourself? You could get hurt." It was Mirai No Trunks.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing a big strong man came to check on me." He began to undress and jumped in. He splashed me, so I in return splashed him as soon as he resurfaced.

"What was that for?"

"You got me all wet."

"You were already wet."

"Oh, yeah." We laughed together. This was the first time since our engagement was announced that we had a moment for ourselves, what with the parties and preparations and all.

"You know, Chi-chi sent me to find you so she could fix your dress."

"Let her wait." I pulled off my suit and held it out between us. I threw it to the bank and swam closer to Trunks.

"Is it possible to get dirty by swimming?" he asked with a smile.

"Let's find out."

Then the image faded, but another immediately took its place.

It was my wedding day. I was next to Mirai No Trunks and the priest was at the best part.

"Do you, Mirai No Trunks Briefs, take this woman for you lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." Trunks said as he placed the ring on my finger.

"I only took off the ring today because of the fighting. I didn't want to lose it or damage it somehow." I said.

"And do you, Son Katherine, take this man to be your-"

"I do!" I got overexcited and a few people laughed, including the priest.

"Very well then, child. I here by pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride, son."

Trunks took my chin and drew me close as we kissed. It felt so good inside, I wanted to scream 'I love this man and no one can stop us!' loud enough to raise my Ki. Then the image faded.

"Love? Is that it? My love for Trunks is my Inner Light?"

"Partly, but its not just your love for Trunks, watch."

"How much more is there?"

"Only until you can see."

Many images ran by fast, but I made them out. Saving Piccolo from Raditz was first. Then crying over Guru, guilt from betraying Vegeta, and it went on for a long time until the last image, Vegeta dying to save me. Tears welled up again.

"Why did he do it? I was hurting people, killing innocent people! He didn't have to save me… why did he?"

"He understood you better than even yourself. He knew how great killing without reason or regret felt. But finding love was so much better, and easier to lose. He didn't want you to lose Mirai, or for Mirai to lose you."

"My Inner Light was shown to him, too."

"Everyone saw it. Even Cell and Frieza."

"I have to go back. I have to stop Buu and this new evil."

"All you had to do was ask." A light grew in the room, revealing the tomb from before. I was finally able to walk freely toward my guide and looked at the tomb as I did so.

"I've been here the whole time?" I turned to see the face of this person. It was me. The only difference between us was that she didn't have a tail and her hair was long past her butt, like mine was before I cut it.

"You're confused, right?" She laughed, "I'm the part you almost lost. When we rejoin as one, you'll be back. You could almost say I'm your Inner Light. Symbolically, of course."

"Of course." I replied. She stretched out her arm and I did the same. Weirder things have happened, so I wasn't all that surprised when I saw her. When we touched our hands together I felt warmth that I felt like I had lost and a bright light shown.

"Good luck out there, girl. You'll need it."