Chapter 43: Awakening / Forgiveness
(Back to first person point of view.)
Pain. That was the first thing I felt as I opened my eyes. It hurt, so I closed my eyes in hopes of getting away from the pain.
Who would want me alive now, anyway? I killed innocent people.
But I felt something else. Someone was squeezing my hand. I opened my eyes again and saw Mirai No Trunks next to the bed me. (I use the term saw freely, because all I saw was a blur.) I squeezed back.
"Trunks, what are you doing here?" I asked groggily.
"Katie, thank Kami you're alive." I tried to sit up, but it hurt to move. My left arm was throbbing. I guess blasting off the Majin symbol like that wasn't such a good idea.
"What's going on?"
"You beat the Majin spell… I thought I lost you. You've been sleeping since yesterday."
"Trunks, I'm sorry." I started to cry, and the tears said it all. Buu will want to fight the boys soon. How messed up is this version of DBZ reality?
"I know."
"No, you don't. I got your dad killed."
"Vegeta is dead?" I nodded, "How?" I sat up, wanting to explain this at eye-level.
"He saw my Inner Light. He knew I wasn't really evil, so he sacrificed himself to save me. He showed me… I don't know what to call it, he showed me that he cared about me, I guess. He was the one Babi-Dee wanted, but he got me instead. He sacrificed himself me. In the story he did it for his family."
"So he was meant to die? Well, we'll have to wish him back, won't we?"
"Mirai." He loved me so much, how could I have given in to the Majin? "You're taking this awfully well."
"I already lost him once."
"God, just go away!" I pushed him, but it was futile with my low energy level. He just stared at me for a moment as I kept crying.
"Katie? Its okay." He reached over and held me. I just cried on his shoulder, letting it all out.
"How could he? I would have killed him, but he died to save me. He's a better man than I ever gave him credit. I never though he'd sacrifice himself for me. I never thought he'd sacrifice himself for anybody, but he did. I miss him, and I should pay for what I did."
"You are paying for it." it was a simple statement, but Mirai was right. I may never get to use my left arm again, which at the moment was throbbing, and the guilt was driving me crazy.
"What about my arm? What did the others say about it?"
"They had to use regular medicine and a little earthly magic to stop the bleeding. I'm surprised you're up so soon. I don't know anything more. Come on, let's get you cleaned up." Mirai helped me up and helped me get dressed into my old fighting Gi that I got from Piccolo.
This brings back memories. I wore this when I first fought Vegeta on earth and when I fought the Ginyu Force. Damn, why'd I do it? I got Vegeta killed! Why!
"Mirai, I'm sorry. I can't say that enough. I wanted to kill your dad and Goku because… because…"
"Because why?" I looked, seeing Goku enter the room, "I'm glad you're okay, but why?"
"Goku… its because you guys are stronger than me." I said, looking away, "Much stronger."
"You beat us, Katie. You were stronger."
"No. There are many reasons why you and Vegeta are stronger than me. First, I know about your third form."
"Of course you do." Goku said, sighing.
"Next… I don't know. You two are stronger than me. You always have been, and always will be. Your spirits are stronger."
"I'd say the way you beat the Majin hold proves you're stronger-"
"No!" I started to cry.
"Katie?" Mirai looked into my eyes, "We aren't judging you. Go ahead, let it out. Let it all out."
"The Majin hold wouldn't work on any of you. It worked on me. Vegeta's pride is too strong for it, Babi-Dee told me so. I know that wasn't a lie, whatever else he may have said. And it wouldn't work on someone with a pure heart. Vegeta resisted, and I know he still has darkness in his soul."
"Katie, Vegeta only resisted because of you." Goku said. He got my attention. Goku's eyes captured mine and held them.
"You just told me a moment ago that Vegeta became Majin in your world. You helped him focus on what really mattered." Mirai said.
"But I got him killed…"
"He doesn't regret it." I looked at Goku. His statement was probably true. I'd have to ask Vegeta someday.
"Goku… I wish… if only I hadn't gone with you guys…"
"Then father would have died anyway." Mirai said.
"Come on, the others are worried." Goku said, heading back outside.
I had lost so much strength that Mirai had to help me walk. I leaned on him out onto the Lookout. I was nervous about the upcoming reunion with the others. How could they ever trust me again?
The outside air seemed different. It was dank, and I realized it was because of Buu's power filling up the planet's atmosphere.
On the outer-most part of the Lookout stood the entire group. Man, was I feeling bad right now. Guilt, angst, and sadness were clouding my aura, I knew it. When the others saw me, I was surprised to see relief on most of the group's faces.
"Katie, thank Kami you're okay." Bulma said, which surprised me a lot.
"I guess I have some explaining to do."
"Katie-"
"Let me tell them, Mirai. I'll have to eventually. I went to Babi-Dee's ship to help, but I ended up causing more problems. In the story back home, Vegeta became Majin and caused Buu to be released, then he sacrificed himself to save everyone else, though it didn't work. But I screwed it all up. Instead, I became Majin, and Vegeta sacrificed himself to save me from myself. I caused Buu to be released, and I got Vegeta killed. I laughed when Buu fought Gohan, and I laughed when I killed those innocent people. God, I'm so sorry!" I finally started to cry full out now; I couldn't hold it in any longer.
No one said anything for a while.
"I think the question here is, what prompted you to do all that?" it was Krillen, the last person I expected to ask me something like that. "We all have fought by your side. Vegeta was your hero dammit! Why would you turn against us?" Krillen looked hurt. We had been through so much together. As I looked at the others, I realized we all had. Piccolo trained me, Krillen and Gohan fought with me against Garlic jr., Goku and I against Nappa and Vegeta, and Vegeta…
At first all I could do was stare at Krillen.
"You're right, Krillen. All this time I've fought evil, so why would I turn to evil for comfort."
"Comfort, what do you mean by that?" Goku asked.
"It's complicated." I just stared at my friends. These people were the only friends I ever really had, and I betrayed them.
I felt someone hit me. Bulma had come over and slapped me as hard as she could, but even with my Ki so low it didn't hurt. It was the meaning behind the slap that hurt.
"How could you let my husband get killed? You were his student and he admired you in a way I couldn't understand. He would have and did die for you!" she started to cry and Yamcha was the one to comfort her. Yamcha threw me a dirty look.
"I got him killed because I was scared." Now that was something the others didn't expect me to say. I was the last person to admit that I was scared of anything.
"Katie…" Piccolo had an idea about the fear I was about to reveal. Only he had ever seen me this emotionally weak before, when I thought I lost my chance to go home, I told him about the Darkness.
"That dream I had before I came here, I don't think it was only a dream. That pit of Darkness is real, somewhere, and I don't want to go back. I don't want the shadows to swallow me, and I don't want to lose you guys. I messed that up." Tears kept coming, but I kept going with my story. "So when Babi-Dee was in my head, he manipulated me by saying he could keep the Darkness away. That was enough for my mental shield to be broken and he twisted my thoughts so that I agreed with him and his plan. I'm not making an excuse… my own weakness did this… I nearly killed everyone here, and Vegeta is gone because of me. Buu is free because of me."
"And what about Gohan?" Videl screamed, tears in her eyes, too.
"Gohan is alive. He's on the Kai planet training with Supreme Kai to stop Buu. Gohan… I didn't try to help him…"
"Yeah, my brother's alive!"
"Be quiet!" Goten and Trunks were hiding, ease-dropping on us, but that didn't work out too well, obviously.
"Alright, you two. Get out here right this minute." Chi-chi called to the two demi-Sayjins.
I heard a voice in my head. It was Babi-Dee, calling to me.
"Where are you my pet? I'll find you, do you know that? Even without the Majin symbol on your arm, I can find you. I can sense you even now. And then I'll bring back Katherine the Slaughterer and the first thing I'll order you to do is to kill all your little troublesome friends!"
"Oh God, I have to go." I said, getting ready to teleport, but once again I was surprised to have Bulma stop me.
"If you leave, Majin Buu will kill you. At least up here you safe, for now. I don't want Vegeta's death to be in vain." Tears were still in her eyes, but she was calm now.
"I hate to say it like this, but no matter what happens now, Vegeta's death will be in vain." Tears kept flowing down my cheeks, even now. "But as long as Babi-Dee's alive he can find me, and I don't want him to find you guys too. I'll be back as soon as I know Babi-Dee's dead. Later we'll wish everything back to normal."
"Where are you going to go?" Trunks (little) asked.
"Somewhere where the Buu monster can't find me. I'll be back soon."
"Katie, I want you to know I forgive you." Bulma said.
"I think we all do, now that we know." Goku said, as the others nodded in agreement.
"Thanks, that means the world to me. You all are the best friends anyone could have. I'll see you all later, okay?" I gave Mirai one last glance before I teleported. I did it quickly so no one could stop me.
