"I'm telling you, Akane, that completely didn't count!" The red-haired girl shot a death glare across the table at …his… fiancée.
"I don't know, Ranma; I think you're slipping." Akane deadpanned. Teasing Ranma was always fun, and his getting beaten by Ryoga was going to be prime material for weeks. He and Genma had explained the cat-phobia, and Akane knew that yesterday was an extenuating circumstance, but it was still far too amusing to poke at Ranma about being "defeated" by his rival.
"Grrr! You are so incredibly uncute!" Ranma slumped in her seat and pouted.
A section of the wall exploded in a shower of debris, which settled to reveal Shampoo framed between the jagged edges of the still-standing carpentry. "Nihao!"
Nabiki looked up from the book she was reading. "We go through so many walls when this girl's around…"
The Chinese girl set her bon-bori down on the floor and pointed at the redhead, who was brushing sawdust from her hair with one hand. "Ranma. Is important talk with Shampoo." She glanced disdainfully at Akane. "Private."
"Listen, Shampoo, I don't know what you think you're doing, but—" Ranma stood as she spoke, brushing herself off and assuming a fighting stance.
Shampoo held up one hand in a placatory gesture. "No want fight. Talk. Come." She turned to leave through the hole she had made coming in, but hesitated. "Oh, and be boy." With the way I feel right now, I don't trust myself alone with girl-type.
Ranma's gaze darted frantically around the room in search of aid, but Akane was busy glaring venomously at Shampoo, and Nabiki, after making her remark, had resumed ignoring everyone in favor of her book. Ranma gave a dejected sigh. "Fine; give me a minute, I'll be right back…"
o o o o o
A few moments later, a male and slightly damp Ranma emerged from the bathroom. Without another word, Shampoo darted away, leaving Ranma to keep up with her.
The chase led halfway across town, as Ranma followed Shampoo from rooftop to rooftop. Finally she sat down on the flat roof of a building and waited for Ranma to join her. He plunked down irritably across from the Chinese girl. "Now what's this all about?"
Shampoo eyed him levelly. "Ranma not want marry Shampoo, right?"
Ranma blinked. "Right. I don't. I mean, it's nothing personal, it's just that—" He trailed off as he realized that Shampoo didn't seem especially heartbroken at this declaration.
She continued. "And Ranma not want Shampoo kill Akane, right?"
He leapt to his feet, eyes blazing. "You're darn right I don't! I swear, if you so much as touch Akane, I'll—"
Shampoo looked up at him, her expression even. "Sit."
It was as if her lack of emotion let all the air out of his reaction. Deflated, he slowly sat back down. "What's this leading up to?"
"We make deal. Shampoo leave Ranma and Akane alone, break off engagement, if Ranma promise help Shampoo get what want."
For a moment, Ranma was struck speechless. Finally, a chance to get this crazy girl off my back! Then he paused as a thought occurred to him. Then again, the last time I made a deal with Shampoo, I ended up getting the daylights beaten out of me. Still, it's too good a chance to pass up. Ranma raised his eyes to the girl across from him. "Alright, Shampoo, what is it you want?"
"Ryoga."
"Huh?" Of all the things Ranma had been expecting to hear, this one didn't even make the list. "What do you want with Ryoga?"
"Marry."
Ranma thought his jaw was going to fall into his lap. He could summon the will to do no more than stare in utter bafflement at Shampoo until she leaned in closer to him and waved a hand in front of his face.
"Is deal?"
"What? Oh; sure. It's a deal."
"Good." Shampoo rose and glanced at the sun to gauge the time. "It almost time for work."
"Work?" Ranma asked as he stood.
Shampoo nodded. "Great-grandmother move to Japan with Shampoo, start ramen restaurant. Shampoo wait tables."
Well, there goes my hope of her taking Ryoga back to China with her. "Really? Where is it?"
"We standing on it."
Ranma looked down at the roof beneath his feet. "Oh. Well, have a good day at work, then."
Shampoo smiled. "Bye-bye!" She leapt down from the roof and out of sight.
Ranma remained on the roof for a moment longer, watching the place where Shampoo had been a moment ago. "I wish I could say that this was the weirdest thing that had ever happened to me. I wish I could say that this was the weirdest thing that had happened to me this week." He shook his head, and jumped across an alley to the next rooftop.
