There is only one chapter left after this I would like to say that the Lake scene has been posted on my livejournal. information on that is in my profile. You do need to friend the journal in order to read yaoi fics, which means you do need to have an actual lj of your own. Sorry to do this, but it is the only way I felt comfortable posting it. ljs are free though and it just takes a minute to sign up if you don't have one.
So now onto this chapter!
Tsunade pushed the door open very gently, peeking in and taking in the scene in case she was intruding on anything. When she saw that Sasuke was getting some much needed rest, she walked the rest of the way in silently, careful to make very little sound at all. She stopped as she reached the couch that Sasuke was curled up on and looked down at him with a frown. He was very visibly thinner and she knew that what Jiraiya had told her was not a lie. She continued to Kakashi's bedside and immediately began the healing process. She didn't want to waste any more time. The more time he was in the coma-like state, the harder it was to heal him.
It took several minutes, but Kakashi finally opened his eyes groggily and stared up at the familiar ceiling of his room. When he finally had regained enough senses to realize where he was he sat up in bed, pushing himself up very slowly. He looked like he was drugged and Tsunade sat down in the chair that Sasuke had been keeping warm for the last week. She waited for him to get a little more of a hold on himself before she spoke to him.
When he looked like he was finally starting to understand where he was, Tsunade said, "Welcome back to the world of the living."
The feminine voice that came from his left side was familiar but it took him a few more seconds to actually place it, let alone realize that someone real had actually spoken to him. He turned his head and came face to face with the fifth Hokage.
"How do you feel?" Tsunade asked quietly, being mindful of the sleeping genin behind her.
"About like I did last time Itachi did that to me." Kakashi said, rubbing his eyes a little with the back of his hand. He still felt completely out of it, but he was trying his best to pull himself completely out of the nightmare that had gripped him for what had felt like months. "How long did it last this time?"
"About a week. I was out of town so I wasn't able to pull you out of it immediately. But if you didn't get yourself into that mess, I wouldn't have had to cut my vacation short. I heard you were partly to blame for it happening so I don't have any pity for you," Tsunade crossed her arms and legs and gave Kakashi a small glare.
Kakashi looked down at his hands a little ashamed. He definitely felt worse about the whole situation then he even had before Itachi had put him through that hell. Watching Sasuke cry almost endlessly was enough to make him feel guilty enough for ten people. "You know what I did?"
"I've heard different versions. Perhaps you care to explain the actual reason for Itachi's attack?" Tsunade sat back in the chair, waiting patiently for his response. "I'm also curious as to how badly he made you suffer."
Kakashi shuddered a little as the images flashed in his brain again, "It was Sasuke…over and over again…he was crying over what I had done. It was terrible. I'm such as bastard…" Kakashi brought a hand to his face and covered it, wanting to cry himself for the pain he caused the one person he loved. "I broke his heart…"
"Why would you do something like that? Its obvious you didn't want to." Jiraiya had only told her what Itachi had said, she had figured out on her own that Kakashi had hurt Sasuke in a way that directly affected their relationship.
"I had to…I didn't want him to get hurt. That letter you gave me caused it. They threatened to hurt him, and I couldn't just let that happen. I figured if I let him go then they wouldn't touch him. I didn't realize that by doing that, I would be hurting him just as much. I was stupid…" Kakashi's voice wavered as he tried to hold back his own tears. He was certain that Sasuke would never want to even look at him again. "He probably hates me now."
Tsunade felt the need to keep the fact that Sasuke was in the room a secret for a few minutes more. The kid was out like a light behind her and she felt sure he wouldn't wake up while this was going on, "Do you blame him?"
"No…I hate myself for what I've done. What hurts the most is the fact that Itachi was there for him when I couldn't be," Kakashi sighed and dropped his hand down onto the bed again.
"Do you still love him?" Tsunade still didn't entirely understand their relationship or how it had even come to be, but she didn't pass judgment on it. If they wanted to be together, then she wasn't going to tell them they couldn't be that way.
"I never stopped…I just couldn't bare to see him get hurt," Kakashi whispered.
"And yet you hurt him? That's hard to understand."
"I know!" Kakashi sounded exasperated and depressed with the whole conversation. Tsunade decided to shift things a little bit.
"Itachi has left the village. He fled shortly after he did this to you," Tsunade watched his facial expressions very closely to see how he would react to this news.
Kakashi's head shot up and he stared at her, "He left Sasuke all alone again? Sasuke can't handle that…he'll do something drastic if we aren't careful. Or…" Kakashi choked at the next thought that came to him, "He took Sasuke with him…"
Tsunade smiled slightly. Kakashi's worst fear was obvious now. He feared the thought of losing Sasuke more then anything else. This was all she needed to prove that Kakashi still loved the younger ninja. "No…he's still in the village."
Kakashi looked relieved, but as he turned his face away, depression seemed to set in as a new realization came to him. "He probably never wants to see me again though does he?" He asked quietly.
"Actually…it is quite the contrary." Tsunade stood up and moved the chair out of the way so that Kakashi could see the sleeping form of his former lover.
Kakashi's breath caught in his throat as he watched the boy sleep. In Kakashi's eyes it was the most adorable sight he had ever seen.
"He has been here every day since you collapsed. That's dedication," Tsunade said as she walked over to check on Sasuke. He was sound asleep, making up for the week's worth of not getting more then a few hours a night.
"He's crazy then…no one should be that dedicated to one person," Kakashi was in awe that Sasuke had stayed with him like that, but he was confused as well. He couldn't understand why he would after all that Kakashi had done to him. "I don't deserve to be the object of that dedication."
Tsunade stormed over to Kakashi's bed side, "That boy loves you more then life itself. He has sat here, no food, barely any sleep, all because he couldn't stand the thought of being away from you for one second. He feared the worst and so he spent every moment up here, in this chair, waiting for you to wake up on your own. You weren't strong enough to take care of him, to go up against Itachi, or to break out of that dream yourself. You need to start growing a backbone, Kakashi! Cause he's going to need someone strong after all the shit that Itachi has put him through. Especially all he's gone through this week."
Kakashi looked down at his sheets. "I don't want to hurt him again…if he stays with me that is exactly what will happen."
Tsunade glared down at Kakashi, "Don't disappoint this boy that has stayed by your side for an entire week…never once leaving you for longer then five minutes…barely eating or sleeping. He deserves more then just an uncomfortable thank you. By making him leave, you'll only hurt him more." Tsunade took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down and lower her voice before she woke Sasuke up herself. "That boy loves you, no matter what you have done, no matter who you are, no matter what anyone thinks of it. He is here because he can't stand to be apart from you. You say he cried in your nightmare…why do you think that is? Its cause it hurt him so much to lose you. Can you imagine what he would do if you told him to just leave? It would break his heart all over again…enough that he might actually do something stupid like end his life, or leave the village. Do you want that on your conscious? Do you want to give away the one person you love more then anything? Can you really afford to lose that?"
Kakashi looked over at the curled up form of Sasuke and couldn't help but once again think of how cute the boy looked laying there. "I don't want to lose him…"
"Then don't." Tsunade plopped down in her chair. She didn't realize that giving love advice to a man could be so difficult. "Tell him you love him and want him back and that you don't care what happens, you'll be by his side always. That is what he needs more then anything. You're promise that you love him. Explain to him why you did what you did, because he's going to need to know the truth."
Kakashi watched Sasuke for a few seconds and then nodded slowly. "I will…I can't bear the thought of bringing more tears to his face. I want him to be happy…I love him so much."
Tsunade smiled as she watched him, his attention glued to that of the sleeping boy. "I'm sure those words will be the best things his ears have heard in quite a while. Its good to know that Itachi's dream might have taught you something at least."
Kakashi smiled slightly and looked back at Tsunade. "It was a big kick in the teeth is what it was. It was his way of telling me what a bastard I was, without actually saying it. I guess he even has a few brotherly protective moments in him."
Tsunade shrugged, "He was supposedly a good brother at one time. But he's gone, so you shouldn't think of him now. All that matters is you two." Tsunade stood up, "So with that said, I think I should take my leave. Naruto is probably about bursting to find out if you are okay." Tsunade stretched a little. "I'll do my best to keep him out of here for a few more days, just try and make your reunion relatively quick. I don't want him busting in here while you two are in the middle of 'making up'" She was amused when a pink tint came to Kakashi's pale cheeks as he blushed at the thought of what she was implying.
Tsunade started towards the door, but Kakashi's voice stopped her, "Tsunade…"
She turned and raised an eyebrow at him, "Yeah?"
He looked up and smiled at her, "Thanks…looks like you gave me a good kick to the teeth too. I needed it."
Tsunade grinned, "Anytime. Now get some rest. You still aren't fully recovered, just conscious." Kakashi nodded and watched the door close behind her before looking back at Sasuke one last time. He laid back down in bed and closed his eyes, dreaming of what he was going to say when Sasuke awoke.
Kakashi opened his eyes slowly and immediately noticed the feel of something heavy on his stomach as he tried to shift his position a little. When he looked down he noticed Sasuke's head was laying on it. His breathing was slow and even and his eyes were closed, indicating he was sleeping peacefully atop his Kakashi pillow.
The boy looked so adorable that Kakashi reached down and stroked the soft skin of his pale cheek. "You'll get sick because you stayed like this so much and it will be my fault…" He frowned a little at the thought as he realized just how thin Sasuke was looking.
His voice must have been too loud or the touch too hard for Sasuke's eyes fluttered open. He stared groggily ahead of him, his eyes still half closed. His bangs were halfway obscuring his vision and for a moment he just thought he was dreaming that Kakashi's hand had moved.
"Good morning sleepyhead…" Kakashi whispered tenderly, his hand still touching Sasuke's cheek.
At this Sasuke's head jerked up and he stared at Kakashi for several seconds, his jaw hanging open. Then tears sprang to his eyes and he lurched forward, throwing his arms around Kakashi's neck.
"Thank god…I thought I'd lost you for sure this time…" Sasuke's voice was muffled as he buried his face in Kakashi's chest. Kakashi could feel the wetness from Sasuke's tears. He had almost forgotten how much he loved the feel of Sasuke's body close to his.
He wrapped his arms around the slender waist of his young lover, "I'm so sorry Sasuke…for everything I said and did…I love you so much…I want you to know that. I never once stopped loving you and it was a mistake to push you away."
Sasuke jerked back and looked into Kakashi's eyes, "You mean it? You take back everything…?" His eyes were hopeful and his body was trembling a little from the anticipation of the answer. He suddenly looked like an eight year old boy, waiting to be praised by his father for something he had done well. It tore Kakashi up inside to think Sasuke had believed his lies so fully.
"Yes. What I said before was a poor attempt at protecting you. I feared losing you so much, that I thought if I pushed you away then I would save both of us. I realize now just how wrong I was.…I want you back Sasuke…it was a mistake to let you go…I just didn't want to hurt you…and instead I hurt you more. I never meant to cause you so much pain and I wish I could take it all back…I love you so much…" before he could say anymore Sasuke's lips pressed hard against Kakashi's. It was a brief and violent kiss but it was enough to send shivers of desire down Kakashi's spine. He truly did love every inch of the boy in his arms.
Upon breaking the kiss Sasuke put his head against Kakashi's chest again, "It hurt more then anything to hear you say those words before…At first I didn't want to believe them, but the more Itachi told me and the more I thought about it, the more I believe them. I never want to lose you, ever."
"I know that now, and I'm sorry about what I said. I can never apologize enough for what I have done." Kakashi held Sasuke tight against his chest. He kissed him tenderly on the forehead.
"Stay with me always…please Kakashi," Sasuke said softly, nuzzling Kakashi's neck with his nose. Sasuke truly couldn't imagine his life without Kakashi now. It had been so painful to be without him and this had been the hardest week of his life, waiting to see if he would live or if he would die. Sasuke knew that if Kakashi hadn't survived, then he most likely would not have. He couldn't bare the thought of living without him anymore. The worst thing in the world for him now was to be alone.
"I promise…" And Kakashi swore to himself that he would keep it this time.
Sasuke crawled up onto the bed and into Kakashi's lap. He closed his eyes as he Kakashi cradled him close. They stayed like this in silence for almost ten minutes, just enjoying the feeling of each others presence back in their lives. Suddenly Kakashi remembered that the boy hadn't eaten barely anything in a week according to Tsunade.
"Sasuke…I'm hungry but I have strict orders from Tsunade not to move."
Sasuke practically jumped to his feet. "What do you want? I can get anything you need. Sasuke ran around the room grabbing his shoes and some money and anything else he could think of needing.
Kakashi watched him with an amused smile. "Anything. I haven't eaten in a week you know."
Sasuke suddenly stopped running around and almost on cue his stomach gave a loud growl that seemed to fill up the room. Sasuke turned a bright red in embarrassment but Kakashi merely laughed. "And make sure you get enough for yourself as well."
"I guess I really haven't eaten much either…It just never occurred to me." Sasuke was lying through his teeth. He had almost been spoon fed by everyone who entered the room, but he just didn't have an appetite at that time and had refused it. Now he realized just how hungry he was. "what would you like me to get?"
"You can decide…and perhaps you should stop and tell everyone that I'm okay. Especially Naruto. Apparently he's been close to beating down the door since yesterday to make sure we were both alive. Tsunade and Jiraiya have been trying to keep him in check." Kakashi sat up and leaned back against the headboard of his bed.
Sasuke nodded and walked over to the bedside. "Agreed. I'll do all that and be back as fast as I can." He leaned over and kissed Kakashi in what was meant to be a goodbye kiss, but both their bodies seemed to respond almost instinctively to it. Sasuke started to crawl back into bed, all thoughts of food leaving him as another thought started to push its way in.
It was Kakashi that finally broke it before it could escalate into more. He still wasn't recovered and if he didn't get food into Sasuke soon he was afraid the boy would be nothing but bone. His breathing was a little heavy as he carefully pushed Sasuke back into a standing position. "Food first…then desert," Kakashi smirked a little but Sasuke had a look of utter desire written all over his face.
"Can't eating wait just a…"
"No! Go! I'm afraid I'll break you if you don't get some food into you." Kakashi smacked Sasuke's butt to get him moving, but this only furthered Sasuke's desire to stay. He moved unwillingly away from the bed though, pouting every step of the way.
"This isn't fair…" Sasuke grumbled as he walked sullenly to the door.
"The faster you do all the errands and get the food, the faster we can get back to that," Kakashi teased.
This was enough to send Sasuke running out the door.
