Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, etc., I'm not making anything off this, it's just for fun, yada yada yada
I Know You
Chapter 5
--2 years later--
Meghan opened her eyes slowly. She felt so exhausted, though she'd only rarely been out of bed in months. She turned her head to watch Seamus, now five years old, sitting on the floor a few feet away from her playing. He brought the space ships, high guard and alien toys to life with all sorts of sound effects.
'Vroom, vroom, crash, bang, I'll get you!, attack!, fire!, splash, gag, aggghhh!'
He had a lively, sometimes overactive imagination. He'ld frequently climbed into bed with her at night saying he'd seen a Nietzschean or a magog lurking in the darkness. She wished his father wouldn't tell him those stories...
She coughed, distracting the boy from his play. He looked over to her and, seeing she was awake, smiled widely. He got up and went over to her. She moved so that he could sit with her.
'And who's this?' she asked, taking his hand, which was holding one of his toys, into hers. The toy was a space ship, old Commonwealth.
'it's high guard.' He said, and began to prattle on with this or that fact about the old ships.
He loved technology, and was already beginning to show a mechanical talent. He would take anything he found around the ship apart to learn more about it. Of course, he had yet to learn to put things back together again properly, much to their chagrin, especially his father's. and she did recall a rather messy incident with Beka and the coffee maker....
'I saw one once on the holo...' Seamus continued.
At the moment Beka entered the room. Seeing the two, she turned apologetically to Meghan, 'I'm so sorry, I know I was supposed to be watching him, I know you need your rest...'
Meghan waved her off, 'it's okay, he didn't wake me.'
Beka smiled weakly, uncomfortable, but hesitant to say any more. She knew that both Meghan and Seamus loved and needed to spend quality time together, and that they hardly ever got to anymore, but Meghan was sick, and needed her rest if she was going to get better. and she WOULD get better, had to. Beka didn't even want to think about the possibility, ....
Watching Beka, Meghan smiled sadly to herself. Her concern for her was so evident. She knew they were trying to make things easier, better for her. She knew they were trying to stave off the inevitable. But Meghan Harper knew that she was going to die. She knew that there was nothing that could be done to save her. They would all fight against it to the bitter end, but, she knew, and they knew, it was a battle they were bound to lose sooner rather than later.
These past couple of years had been difficult to bear, for all of them, as Meghan's pain grew more and more debilitating. She suffered frequent dizzy spells, was always weak and tired, short of breathe and suffered fevers that came and went with greater and greater frequency. Although they had visited several clinics, no one could offer her any relief, or even an explanation for her mysterious illness that was aging her prematurely.
Everyone had been doing so much to keep the burden of raising a child off of Meghan; she knew they worried a great deal about her.
She herself was worried, though less for herself than for the others. They all had their dependencies on her. They relied on her as their emotional anchor. She worried that they wouldn't be able to get along without that anchor...
She dreaded the idea of leaving Seamus, or Beka for that matter, without a mother. And she didn't want to leave Damien without a wife. She woulda given anything not to have to, but it was becoming more and more difficult to hang on, and all she wanted to do was sleep...
Meghan stroked her son's forehead, which always seemed to sedate him. he lay his on her chest.
Meghan did not want to miss him growing up... she couldn't bear the idea. Would he understand why she was not there for him?
They all shielded him as much as possible from his mother's illness, but it was difficult. Seamus needed his mother. She would put on a bright smile for him, hide the pain she was in. He would often try to get her to come play with him, to run around with him the way Beka would, but she was just too ill...
Seamus himself couldn't understand why his mom was always so tired, why she never seemed to want to play with him. He couldn't understand why she cried so often. He often thought it was because of him. He didn't like to see her so sad. He tried to cheer her up as best he could, but nothing seemed to work.
and no one else seemed to want him around her either,. Beka was always coming to drag him away from her. but he loved beka, and they always had lots of fun together. she would make him something sweet to eat, or tickle him, or tell him a story and play with him...
Seamus yawned, and curled up further into the warmth of his mother's arms. all his thoughts drifting away...
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Seamus woke up slowly, but still felt like he was dreaming.
'breakfast's ready, come and get it!' it was Beka.
He was in his mother's arms still. He was ready to just fall back asleep, but something felt different, odd. He sat up and looked at his mom's face. Her eyes were open, but curiously they stared at the ceiling unblinking. He shook her a little, 'momma?' he whispered quietly. 'momma? Bekfas time.' He reached up and brushed the hair off of her face. Her skin felt cold to the touch. He was panicked by this, and pulled the blanket up over her, hoping to warm her up again. but she didn't react to it all.
Seamus contemplated this for a moment. Suddenly something in him desperately wanted her to look at him, and stop staring at the stupid ceiling. He shook her lightly at first, hoping to shake her out of whatever trance she was in. when that didn't work, he shook harder. Something was very, very wrong, but he couldn't understand what. He began to scream in her ear, 'momma! Wake up, momma!'
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Damien and Beka heard Seamus shouting in the bunkroom. They both rushed in to find him trying to rouse his mother in confused desperation. Damien rushed over and pushed Seamus off to the side. He stood over his wife.
Beka was frozen where she was. she was unaware at first of the others, just of a cold sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She knew, but she didn't want to believe it had finally happened.
Then she became aware of Seamus standing in the center of the room, where his father had thrust him. His eyes were wide and he was shaking.
He spoke in a whisper, 'waz wrong with ma, da?' Damien remained silent, his back to him. 'da?' he prompted.
'what do you think's wrong with her, she's dead!' he shouted, his back still to them.
Seamus shook his head in disbelief. 'she's gonna wake up soon, right da?'
'no, she's not! She's never going to wake up again, don't you know anything, stupid boy?! She's dead!'
still not understanding, Seamus began to cry at being shouted at so violently.
Damien whirled around and struck him so hard he hit the floor. 'Get him out of here!' he shouted to Beka, who had been watching the whole scene absently, as if it were a holodrama.
She quickly and silently lifted Seamus off the floor and carried him away from the scene.
-TBC-
