Today I have been inspired! My mum's pregnant friend just had her baby suddenly kicking and moving in her stomach and I was aloud to feel the baby kicking!
That must have the most happiest and magical moment of my day!
Wow I want kids - oh wait I can't get pregnant wrong gender. T.T
First chapter of the story now - and little bit dodgy at one point so be warned though I don't think it's that bad I just happen to be a very sad and lonesome guy. XD
Feeling a little dazed Squall gradually sat up on his bed.
He glances at his radio clock and it flashed "3.30 AM".
Feeling a little sleepy and bewildered he lied back down again and closed his eyes, trying to get back to sleep once more.
He waited five more minutes but he suddenly felt restless and the soft and cosy bed now seemed hard and very uncomfortable for him.
Giving up on the idea of ever getting to sleep, he decided that he'd just have to go out to the secret area to clear his head for a while. Hopefully some fresh air would make him feel drowsy.
She was there waiting for him,
Out in the secret area under the light that was so dim.
Lately she always going there,
Now she had something to share,
For now the time seemed for her to be right,
If they can resolve the problem together maybe things will be all right.
Rinoa gave Squall one of her enchanting smiles.
She wrapped her arms around his chest and gave him a tender kiss.
Squall could feel the passion and warmth flowing from her lips and couldn't help but to return the kiss back feeling her gasping with pleasure inside his mouth.
Their lips parted and Rinoa rested her head against Squall's muscular chest. She closed her eyes and smiled to herself.
This is what she always wanted from him, for a long time too. They've been together for about four years now and she couldn't have wished to have anyone better. Though he still didn't tell her what his feelings were, she just wanted once in a while for him to tell her how much he loved her.
"Squall," She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of security when Squall finally put his arms round her and held her, "I've been thinking a lot about us lately."
Squall stared at the dark night sky.
He knew that she had something on her mind for a few months now. The way she gapes at him occasionally, the way she'll sit on her own in the library and seem to block out the whole world and even the way she'll just go of out somewhere with Angelo for "a walk". All this was an obvious sign that she had a serious matter going on in her mind but she hasn't informed any of her friends about it so he couldn't understand if anything was amiss.
"What's the matter?"
Maybe she wanted to break up with him and have a break from him just for a while. Of course he hasn't really shown her as much affection as maybe he should have so that could be what's bothering her.
He wasn't sure what his feelings were if she left him now. Much as he hasn't shared his feelings with her, he does care a lot for her and thought of her a great deal of the time.
He hated to think what the others would say about the spilt up, they'll keep lecturing him and nag and pester at him for weeks.
He couldn't stand the idea of that. Though none of the others are in good relationships themselves but they still think they know everything about it and informing him on how he should act towards Rinoa.
Rinoa remained wrapped in the safety of Squall's arms. She paused for a minute trying to think of a good way to tell him what she's been pondering about for all this time.
She was a little anxious about what his reaction will be. The thing she's been thinking about is something that can cause many break ups in a relationship, it's something some guys get terrified of the idea of it and run a mile.
What if Squall responds in the same way with her? Would he desert her or would he disprove her idea and decline completely?
"I've been thinking. We've been together for a very long time now haven't we?"
"Oh great," Squall thought, "One of those 'We're not going anywhere' talks that generally finishes with a 'let's call it a day' then a break up.
"Squall I want to get into a more serious relationship. It just feels that all these years that we've been together we're just not going anywhere."
Squall knew this was going to happen. And his guess was correct.
Well there's still time to try and work things out, that's what all couples are suppose to do surely?
"Well if she goes then she goes, just show her that I'm not upset or she'll take advantage and will think she can keep doing this to me just because she's a little attention seeker." Squall thought to himself.
He knew that that was too harsh though, Rinoa was really a lovely person and not the type of hardhearted person to do such a thing but he was better safe then sorry.
He shouldn't be so close to someone and them destroy his trust.
"You don't want to be with me any more then?"
Rinoa shook her head gently and looked downwards to avoid Squall's eyes.
"No I don't want to or at least my heart tells me that but I just want to be a real family."
Squall released Rinoa from the protection of his arms.
His face was expressionless.
He just stared blankly at Rinoa, unclear about his feelings and thoughts.
"A real family?" Squall thought, " Meaning she wants the whole works. Engagement, marriage, children and soon ending up with grandchildren. What do I know about family? This is the closes I've ever had to being a family."
Rinoa tried looking at Squall's eyes searching for a slight hint on how he is feeling. She felt a bit discontented that so far he has said nothing but a little glad that he hasn't already stormed off abandoning her.
"Squall, please tell me what's on your mind."
"I don't know." Squall muttered, "You realise what marriage is about?
You'll have to be fully prepared to be with someone for the rest of your life and stay completely faithful.
If you'll have kids you can't just go running off to parties and having fun with your mates, you can't just go off on holiday abandoning them.
The pair of us have responsibility's besides this is hardly the place to bring up a family is it?
Besides we'll be arguing in a few months, when you're with someone a lot you do end up fighting because you need some space."
Rinoa explained, "Well we'll have some time out if that's what you want but all couples fight it's a way to prove that they care about each other you'll be alien not to, it's only human to quarrel.
As for this place I agree it's not the right place but why can't we get a house and live together? At least then it's a big step for us both."
Squall started to feel pressured; he has Rinoa wanting to get a home but where can they live? Plus his job here is like a 24-hour thing how can he just simply leave? If he stayed at his job he can't really keep being there for Rinoa when the time comes when she's expecting, who could help to look after her? She'll be on her own most of the time and that would hardly be fair.
"What about my job here? You know how much time I'm working around here; you'll be on your own practically all of the time. Plus what if another war suddenly starts and something happens to me?
We won't survive it's all going to be impossible and we need the money from this place to live."
"Well surely you can get some to take command here and now," Rinoa pleaded, "I want this to happen not to be left as a fantasy. I can get a part time job somewhere until I'm expecting.
Surely Cid can help with this place and I got plenty of friends to help me out, there's Quistis for example and even Edea and what about Laguna helping you out?"
Squall suddenly frozen.
Laguna…
When the time is right can you be there?
Is it within your heart to even care?
When I was child you were never here for me,
Your own grandchild…could you be even bothered to come and see?
Could you want do be with your family every day?
What would you say?
Have we left the time far too late now?
Could you ever be my father for me now?
What would you say?
